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| Timbers: Put down this book NOW. Do not read!! |
In some parallel universe, Diego Chara opts against responding
to a hard shoulder charge by Ignacio Piatti by giving his little love tap to
the wrong cheek – specifically, the one Piatti’s head. But, so what? We live in
the universe where Chara did something just fucking stupid, got himself sent
off and the law of averages ruled in the Montreal Impact’s favor, and heavily
by the end. The 4-1 score-line might have flattered Montreal’s overall performance
- I’d say this one felt closer to a 3-2 loss – but, whatever good the Portland
Timbers did in the attack, they frittered away with dumb-shit defending.
And, oh well, guess Timbers fans will have to wait to learn
the level of Portland’s starting eleven; Chara’s brain-fart certainly saw to
that. There’s something in that, too, lending the Timbers’ 2017 campaign an air
of constipation (of which, does that word have a denotation outside of pooping,
or is that only a connotative meaning?), as if the damned thing just won’t take
off. The team started the season with Liam Ridgewell injured (of which, meh, so
what?), then they lose Darlington Nagbe for a couple games at the exact moment
the team needed all hands pulling to regain a little momentum. In that context,
Chara’s wee eruption of stupid frustration feels like the next chapter in a
very undesirable narrative. Sigh…
It takes little imagination to guess at what set off Chara.
Just over five minutes prior, Jair Marrufo awarded Montreal the kind of penalty
that will likely not stand once video review becomes Law of the League. Sebastian
Blanco did little more than tap Blerim Dzemaili politely on the shoulder, and,
when the Impact’s new Swiss designated player took a hard seat on the turf,
that was enough for Marrufo…and his apparently limited grasp of physics. As
such, when Piatti barged into Chara, it’s possible, maybe even likely, he
dipped into that same well of grievance when he delivered that soft slap to
Piatti’s cheek. Again, Diego, wrong cheek, kid. Next time, do what David Guzman
did, like, 10 minutes later and go in for a late, cheap foul…no, never mind,
don’t do that. Just keep it in check, son.
Yeah, yeah, some credit accrues to L’Impact. To begin, yay,
me!, for noting before the game that Ballou Jean-Yves Tabla made for nothing
like a let-off in Montreal’s line-up. Indeed, the kid (only 18 years old)
specializes in stripping the ball in dangerous places; managed it at least
three times yesterday; used it to finally and totally break Portland’s back
when he set up Montreal’s fourth goal for Ambrose Oyongo. Credit Portland,
however, for keeping even a 3-1 advantage precarious for as long as they did. The
team fought till Guzman’s legs basically stopped working, going close at least
three times immediately before Oyongo shivved ‘em…
…the thing I can’t let go of, though, was what now feels
like a betrayal of Diego Valeri’s immaculately-timed goal.
