Getting Reacquainted with Sporting Kansas City, MLS's Good Team Going Through Some Things

What passes for thrills in KC, in player and shirt form.

Thumbnail History
I’ll always quietly love them for coming into the league as the Kansas City Wiz and with a rainbow motif on most of their early. The fact they thought switching “Wiz” to “Wizards” made it better? Chef’s fucking kiss. The team itself, however, has never been particularly lovable. Preki, one of MLS’s first, great attacking players, lined up for them over their early seasons (and caught the eye of U.S. Soccer doing so), but most of SKC’s most famous players are defenders – e.g., Nick Garcia, Richard Gough (briefly, I think), Matter Besler, Ike Opara, Jimmy Conrad (fungi) – defensive midfielders – e.g., Matt McKeon, Diego Gutierrez, or, quite possibly “the most SKC player” ever, Roger Espinoza – or goalkeepers, e.g., e.g., Tony Meola, Jimmy “White Panther” Nielsen, and Tim Melia. They’ve had some fun teams – think the 2021 team when both Daniel Salloi and Johnny Russell had banner seasons, or the Benny Feilhaber years (2013-2017, effectively) with Krisztian Nemeth, peak Dom Dwyer, and Claudio Bieler running in front of him, and SKC Eternal Graham Zusi pitching in from the wide spaces. Those teams had some successes – MLS Cup in 2013, a cold fucker played on the U.S. equivalent of the Russian steppes, but mostly U.S. Open Cups – and, despite the fact they scored more goals in my head than they did on the field, those teams still represent the beginning of a time when this team finally put some effort into entertaining. Still, I have never stopped thinking of them as the team that rode Meola and an 11th-minute goal by a Danish forward on a professional pit-stop (Miklos Molnar) to victory in one of the dullest MLS Cups ever played (2000). While I wouldn’t quite say their best days are behind them, the trophies have gotten smaller since their 2013 MLS Cup, and then stopped coming altogether after 2017. To be clear, that doesn’t represent some kind of radical drop-off – SKC has made the “real playoffs”(i.e., the quarterfinals or better) in five of the past eight seasons – they’re just not winning anything…and most of those playoff experiences stalled at the quarterfinals. And yet, that combined record raises them to sixth-best all-time team on the Joy Points Scale. I suspect most long-time fans of MLS associate them with seemingly eternal head coach Peter Vermes’ aggressive, grinding approach to the game, but that doesn’t hold up as well as it used to. And that could be what’s going wrong. Or was going wrong…

Getting Reacquainted with Sporting Kansas City, aka, MLS's Barely Magical Wizards

When at his best, that's when you gotta watch out.

[Standing Disclaimer: While I have watched…just a stupid amount of MLS over the years, I don’t watch the vast majority of games, never mind all of them. As such, it’s fair to take anything below that isn’t a hard number or a physical trophy as an impression, a couple steps removed.]

Thumbnail History
Seeing Sporting Kansas City as the fourth-best team in MLS history makes sense and doesn’t at the same time – especially given all the ups and downs (more than I expected or remembered, certainly) and the fact that they had their last championship season 11 years ago. They alternated between success and failure more over their first 14 seasons, reaching MLS Cup here (e.g., in 2000 and 2004) and missing back-to-back post-seasons there (e.g., 1998 and 1999 and again in 2005 and 2006). SKC became more consistent over the back 14, missing the playoffs just three times, but, after their second MLS Cup, the trophies got smaller and then stopped coming. They’ve fielded some famous goalkeepers – e.g., Tony Meola, Jimmy “White Panther” Nielsen, and Tim Melia – and as many famous defenders (e.g., Ike Opara, Jimmy Conrad, Matt Besler), and I suspect most long-time fans of MLS associate them with seemingly eternal head coach Peter Vermes’ aggressive, grinding approach to the game. Kings of the 1-0 win, basically, or even claiming the game in penalties after they throttled the life of the other team’s attack and couldn’t shove in a goal of their own: that’s probably unfair, but that’s the reputation I hold in my head. We’ll see how that holds up below, but I’ll always quietly love them for coming into the league with beautiful rainbows on their kits and literally starting as the Kansas City Wiz. The fact they thought switching “Wiz” to “Wizards” made it better? Chef’s fucking kiss.

Best Season(s)
I might get some dissents on this call – particularly given the way it centers MLS Cup 2013, a game they won on penalties over Real Salt Lake in the coldest final in league history – but I’m going with 2012 to 2017. Despite some shaky finishes (e.g., 10th overall in 2014 and 2015), SKC added three U.S. Open Cups (in 2012, 2015, and 2017) to their second MLS Cup. The counterpoint is 2000, the season they did the double (winning Cup and Shield), but the league had such claustrophobic margins back then and I genuinely believe they built their best, most stable long-time roster in the 2010s.

Long-Term Tendencies
The loose impression holds up pretty well, honestly: a couple exceptional seasons aside (some recent, e.g., 2018, 2020, and especially 2021), SKC generally sticks at average or under it in terms of goals scored (18 of 28 seasons) and generally gets at average or under on goals allowed (17 of 28 seasons). Think a lot of stacked ‘n’ stubborn defenses, combative midfields and an occasionally-interrupted succession of attacking stars to turns Ds (or Ts) into Ws. For what it’s worth, I do think this is shifting, if slowly, and with Vermes’ blessing. He’s mellowed. Except when it comes to working the refs.

Colorado Rapids 3-3 Portland Timbers: Of Snow & Fortunate Deflections

Just do your best out there, guys. We fucked ya up goin' in.

The Department of Cross-Platform Corrections will open this post by announcing that, after further review, Axel Sjoberg’s not-quite-goal-saving handball was deliberate. (During the game, I tweeted that I wouldn’t have called it, but watch his hand (over and over); yes, the VAR got it right.) Moving on now, to the Ministry of Justice, given that either of two Portland Timbers players could have nodded home Sjoberg’s naughty deflection, part of me would have just taken the goal and moved on. Back in this timeline, the shock-collar “tickled” Drew Fischer (that’s what they use right?), alerting him to matter of controversy (Sjoberg’s handball), and, after review, the whole thing ended up with red card for the Colorado Rapids and the Timbers wound up with a penalty kick.

Diego Valeri scored it, the game ultimately ended 3-3, and all the above wasn’t even the weirdest thing that happened some miles removed from Denver, Colorado yesterday. If nothing else, it snowed like goddamn crazy, but, to lick the brassiest of brass tacks, had you given 1,000 Timbers fans the top-level scenario for yesterday’s game – e.g., a high-scoring draw in Colorado and with snow falling – and asked them whether or not they’d call it a good result, I put the number of “yes” answers at or around 2/3 of respondents. (Sharper question: would that number go up or down immediately after the game and with all respondents 4+ drinks in?) As with what we shall henceforth call Sjoberg’s Goal (MLS’s/Kant’s answer to Schrodinger’s Cat), would you get different answers from those 1,000 Timbers fans had you watched that game with each of them and then asked them afterwards how they felt? (Focus groups = Group-think. Also, fluoride.)

Cold weather games are almost always memorable, in that they borrow a central principle from hockey – i.e., putting as many obstacles as possible in the way of success (e.g., “here are some skates, here’s a stick; now, go chase piece of frozen rubber around a sheet of fucking ice, I said do it!”; I finally get why hockey players are so fucking angry). Snow counts as the most unnatural, recurring condition for soccer, because it makes all the players run using weird, choppy strides, and guys slip all over the place…but does snow typically cause ‘keepers to cough up that many rebounds? It took reviewing the highlights to fully absorb the reality that half of yesterday’s goals came off rebounds. (So, to you kids watching at home, your coach isn’t full of shit when he tells you to follow up on shots. A lot of it’s bullshit, but that one’s real.)

All in all, though, is there anything real to take away from this game, or was it dog-pile of X-factors and the toddler-esque beginning of any regular season? For all the commentary on snow, both teams played a recognizable and accepted version of soccer out there. Sure people looked a little clumsy from time to time – one of them being Benny Feilhaber’s equalizer – but they moved the ball to where they wanted it to go and, deep as the powder got during the game, it didn’t stop the Rapids from scoring its second, the game’s third equalizer. The snow mattered, but it didn’t really.

The Late Tackle 01 18 2017: On Deploying Porter's Boys, Hot Teams and a Hot Prospect

You'll get there, tiger!

In case anyone hasn’t spotted it yet, I want to draw attention to a little something to the left of MLSSoccer.com’s home page. See it? Portland v. NY Red Bulls, January 27, 2017, Preseason. That’s just over a week away. Next Friday, in fact. Bastards better at least stream that one, because jonesin’.

Of which, with an eye to cutting down on bar costs (he told his wife), I picked up the cord-cutters version of cable, Sling TV. I’ll let interested parties know how I feel about it.

Back to that first preseason game, I’m just now thinking about the kind of team I want to see Caleb Porter field for that preseason opener, and I find myself torn. As much as I want new/younger players and the T2 call-ups (e.g., Rennico Clarke…and there’s no “e” at the end, right?) to get real tryouts during the preseason – especially in defense, and especially if Portland hasn’t added new personnel by then – but I think I’d rather see Porter at least start what he envisions as his starting eleven for this first game, to just sort establish an average for the season (as in bowling) and to figure out how to beat it later. I’ll be providing input all season long…even if it goes unheeded…pearls of wisdom, spurn’d and unclaim’d.

That’s the “first time” for the 2017 season, but the U.S. Men’s National Team’s friendlies against Serbia and Jamaica follow shortly thereafter, too, and I’m actually interested in the friendlies this year, feel like they’ll be building toward something less irritating than under Jurgen Klinsmann, etc. Then fer-reals real preseason starts with the month of February. We’re sliding into home, people, the regular season that, at times, seems like it’ll never end, even as it feels like it started years ago.

Eminently-mockable as MLS’s regular season is, it’s precisely the length of the thing that makes it feel like “normal.” By that I mean I feel a little antsy, even weird, during the off-season.

On to other things of note…

MLS 16 Rankings. Just Rankings.

Bliss. Most weekends of the year.

For this first part of Major League Soccer's Week 16, just plain rankings unfold below. Well, that plus the sort of "what-does-it-mean?" sort of thought that comes to me every week sometime during the 5th MLS mini-game.

Two themes to discuss before getting into all that. First, is this league goddamn crazy or who? I mean, what the hell are the Seattle Sounders doing losing to San Jose anywhere? Why can't Toronto FC beat even the lowliest club in MLS in their expanded hizzouse (I'm not spelling that right, am I? But, yes, I'm talking about New York City FC...or are they now the formerly lowliest)? Why are the expansion teams suddenly going all Freaky Friday with each other's reputations?

Second, let's talk transition, or, rather, the dreaded "transition year." Personally, I've used it as a knee-jerk shorthand for "shitty season" long enough that the thought behind it lost its meaning. Webster's Dictionary defines "transition" as...jesus, never mind. The point is, bad teams pick up and drop new players into the puzzle like slow infants smashing the star over the square hole. No one notices because, bad yesterday, bad today. Either an upgrade happens or no one notices. Before you know it. you're the Chicago Fire. When it comes to good teams, the years pass subtly from great to good to "smart" to some version of manifestly bad. The realization hits you like a pressure drop: you're pretty sure you feel the change, but you can't be sure till it starts raining. I want to believe that this explains my ongoing fascination with Real Salt Lake (because it damn sure ain't the product on the field). RSL's intended future finally showed up last Saturday, when Sebastian Jaime scored his first goal for the Utahans since joining late last year (and celebrated by looking like his wife gave birth to Twins Spoken of in Ages Past; Olmes "Almost" Garcia followed up by doing the rare something - accidentally, it bears noting, but everyone takes three points: for now, these are RSL's stewards for the post-Saborio era. Never mind how much shit's gonna hit the fan when Javier Morales and Kyle Beckerman retire: that is a transition,with a massive Jamison Olave cherry on top: the new players' (ideally) growing pains combine with the slow, clear, steady decline of players who will become club legends of some scale or another.

Portland Timbers, Review/Preview, Week 2/Week 3

Anything.

Hey...I'm getting titles for these things...

I pride myself on a willingness to admit to errors in thought and judgment. It's important to be open to things. Or to anything. With that in mind, let's talk about last Sunday’s post-mortem for the Portland Timbers draw against the Los Angeles Galaxy.

It's possible that the late collapse/draw narrowed my perspective a little. Or closed it completely. To give one example, maybe I didn't praise Darlington Nagbe's performance enough...because gods know other people did. Some internalized gripes about the state of Diego Chara's fitness didn’t make that post – he looked totally tanked to me and I would have pulled him around the 60th – but 5 Minutes to Kickoff (uh, twitter handle, I guess; the link went to The Columbian) made a statistically-based argument that Chara brought balance to the Timbers midfield. Sort like a short, corn-rowed embodiment of the Force. (Besides, who the hell do I think I am, bitching about fitness like that? Jurgen Klinsmann?)

In my defense, the sweet nothings I whispered about Jack Jewsbury picked up a little amplification. Nice.

I have done a lot of reading and reflecting since then. Whether it changed my mind or not (for instance, I still found a way to whine about Nagbe; incorrigible; then again, it's worth noting that, when given a clear opportunity, the man simply cannot bring himself to so much as scowl), it's all food for thought. If nothing else, I learned that Jorge Villafana was somehow assigned to mark Alan Gordon on that final penalty kick (in here somewhere). And that seems like a bad idea...

With all that in mind, how does Portland look heading into their first road game of the 2015 regular season – e.g. this Saturday's away game at Sporting Kansas City. Not too shabby, in my estimation, though that has as much to do with Sporting KC as it does with the Timbers.

Sporting Kansas City 2015 Preview: Beating More than the Opposition

If only fixing Chance Myers was as easy...

What Happened Last Year
Matt Besler got real tired last year. So did Graham Zusi. So tired. Sporting Kansas City came into 2014 as Major League Soccer's (MLS) defending champions, only to sort of ran out of gas by season's end. New York Red Bull shoved them out in the post-season play-in and KC, presumably, settled down for a nap. KC's problems ran deeper, actually, but remembering it took some work. Injuries hammered KC in 2014. The toll hit their backline, in particular, like norovirus tearing through colons on a cruise ship. Around the time the season rolled into summer, the club's desperation for healthy central defenders was such that they threw then 17-year-old central defender Erik Palmer-Brown into a trial-by-fire that went about as well as those things generally do. Taken together, it was a massacre: Chance Myers, out for the season; Ike Opara, out for the season; Aurelien Collin missed a smaller chunk, but still missed some; regular fullback Kevin Ellis had to shift to center now and again; hell, even Palmer-Brown succumbed before the fat lady sang. The club lost players in key positions, besides, though few generated chatter like Uri Rossell's departure (see: every episode of March to the Match in which KC came up). It wasn't all an unrelenting shit-slog: forward Dom Dwyer had a great season (but, please, people, enough with his marriage) and, yeah, playoffs (wasn’t really close by the end). Still, they're pretty eager to put 2014 behind them from what I hear(d on my way to finding all the stuff above about injuries).
Final Stats: 14-13-7, 49 points, 5th in the East; 48 gf, 41 ga

What's Happened Since
Some noise, but not a lot. If only by name recognition, Roger Espinoza's return from Wigan probably caught the most headlines, but Sporting's more intriguing signing – and, arguably, departed designated player (DP) Claudio Bieler's replacement – was Hungarian striker, Krisztian Nemeth. The club rummaged around MLS for a couple more acquisitions – here, I'm thinking Jalil Anibaba and Bernardo Anor – who rate higher than spare parts (perhaps well higher based on glimpses I've caught of Anor in the 2015 preseason). The offseason saw some big losses as well, including recent-year club icon, Collin. Still, Sal Zizzo, C. J. Sapong, and Soony Saad – and, yes, Bieler – played big enough roles in KC’s set-up for 2014 to leave a few questions open. (All here...because, lazy.)

What to Expect This Year
Sporting coach Peter Vermes and U.S. Men's coach Jurgen Klinsmann recently had a spat over the latter's infamous "fitness" comments. That wasn't just interesting because few MLS coaches preach fitness like Vermes; a question lurks in there as to whether KC's high-energy style leads to fatigue, or even injury, the same way Klinsmann's regimen (allegedly) busts hammies. Anyone who hits the link above about KC putting 2014...oh, never mind, here it is again – should note Besler's comments about how KC "makes it tough on teams," because it's not gonna change. I'm not a huge fan of the pressing style (think it's ugly), but KC worked it well in 2013. And, for all their problems with injury, Sporting's goals against in 2014 fell well on the low side. Vermes does gamble a little by trusting his current defenders' parts to hold together; only Anibaba came in as a true (tested) defender. The news looks brighter news up the field. The as-yet-unmentioned Benny Feilhaber spent a lot of 2014 trying to be Rossell, which he did well enough, but he can do more to bring KC's offensive numbers up closer to goal; a more rested Zusi should help as well. At least a couple of KC's picks (Espinoza, maybe Servando Carrasco) should free up both of them to do that. Uh, already noted liking my glimpses of Anor, but have the same thoughts on Nemeth (not alone), who did a nice thing or two in here (start about 4:00 on that one). Anyway, some things to watch in there.

Overall
I think KC could very well have improved the mix on offense. The defense just has to do well enough...which makes Collin the big loss for me. Still, I bet they overcome. And finish stronger than last year...if the injuries don't bite 'em again. Man, that Vermes has cajones...

Portland Timbers: First Team 1, Second Team 1, Sporting KC 0

I see an....NLS Cup in your future!

What did I learn from tonight's super-early preseason clash between the Portland Timbers and Sporting Kansas City? For starters, I learned that “Fochive” is pronounced “Fo-sheev-ay.” Also, Peay is “pay.” Who knew, right?

Overall, though, I’m encouraged. 2-0 to Portland, and all that. Then again, if someone told me I’m beautiful, I would agree that, yes, I am beautiful. And do go on. (As in, people hear what they want to hear, and see what agrees with their hopes and dreams.) But, no, the wiser course is to slow down, to cool the collective jets, drop the nuts into some ice water and generally view these first 90 minutes of a sweet, ideally strike-free 2015 with the most powerfully clear-eyed prescription known to man.

In all honesty, I don’t have much for notes. The video feed hardly helped, what with the way it looked like Madden circa 2002. Still, I saw well enough to believe that Portland played a pretty solid, energetic game for this year’s first preseason outing. Splitting entire teams between 45-minute halves certainly helps with the energy, but that was smarter, cohesion-wise, than Sporting’s Tale of Three Halves. Which, like, defies physics. Or just science.

Good omens abound, though, when you think about it. The Timbers defended with proactive soccer on the way to keeping the sheets clean. And, holy shit, Portland got a penalty kick? If that’s not Mama Albighetti smiling on the Timbers’ 2015, I don’t know what is!

Anyway, the few notes I have, starting with Portland:

 Portland Notes

1) The first team defense looked amazing enough to foster delusion. Seriously, I’m so sold on the central trio of Ben Zemanski sitting in front of Norberto Paparatto and Nat Borchers that I’m seized by visions of clean sheets in late September, when the club is driving for Glory. Admittedly, I missed 10 minutes of the second half, but I didn’t see KC make much of a dent outside that errand-based blackout. While I’m by no means saying Liam Ridgewell won’t come back to start besides Borchers, I’m comfortable with Zemanski on top of two solid centerbacks of any name and combination when the club hopes to kill off games.

1a) Overall, Paparatto looked good. Borchers looked better. Just really ahead of everything. Here’s to praying to multiple gods, if that's what it takes, that that continues.

2) And, btw, swap in Ridgewell for Paparatto and I can’t help but think that the Timbers fielded the club’s starting eleven during the first half, pending Diego Valeri's and Will Johnson's return. More on this later…

3) Zemanski’s game is shockingly simple. So, so simple. Too simple?

4) I wouldn’t mind seeing Jack Jewsbury return to a central midfield role. Nice pass on the near goal in the second half through Jeanderson, into Urruti, etc. I think we’re deep enough at right back to think differently about what Jack can do, even if it limits his minutes…hmm…

Sporting Kansas City Notes

1) The Paolo Nagamura and Benny Feilhaber central midfield is pretty damn stacked. That’s a serious yin-yang there, people.

1a) I’d trade some crazy shit to land Feilhaber.

2) A 16-year-old kid took the field for KC tonight. He’s not even first team as it turns out, but his name is Felipe Hernandez. Now, physically/aesthetically, the kid looked every inch the pro. Problem was, he never put a ball in front of a player, at least not that I saw. It was like he always passed the ball to where his target stood when he made the pass. He’ll be fun to watch, that one, assuming he figures out how to lead players. I did, however, like the Feilhaber-esque way he’s able to keep the ball in front of him and at his feet while looking for the pass.

3) I didn’t catch that he was out there till he came off, but I do want to see more of Krisztian Nemeth, the Hungarian guy.

Anyway, nice win. I missed the goddamn free kick by Michael Nanchoff. Tell me it was a thing of beauty, something pretty enough to pair with the Sugar Plum Fairy in Swan Lake…

All for now.