MLS Week 10: A League of Dilemmas & Ten Things

Neutral fans for Chicago v. Atlanta

“And there is that long ball to start things off for the Rapids.”

- Confirmation of general reality from the broadcast booth, #SKCvCOL

I don’t just love the unsubtle dig in at the Rapids’ in that line, it also sums up in a small number of words why I didn’t tune into Sporting KC v. Colorado. The same goes for SKC: I don’t watch them much because I feel like I know where they are. The same goes for Columbus Crew SC gutting out a goal-less road draw at the Seattle Sounders after going down a player (Pedro Santos…who really needs to check his shit) at the 15th minute: neither team is doing much right now and aren’t of much interest as a result.

So goes the process of elimination when I decide which games to watch every weekend on either side of whatever the Portland Timbers get up to. Because it’s half-driven by catching a spoiler - and only half; I still watched New York Red Bulls v. New York City FC, because that’s just good data (not to mention very impressive) - it’s a fairly imperfect method. For instance, I doubt anyone but fans of both teams and betting members of the sadomasochism community picked the Chicago Fire versus Atlanta United FC as a top bout for the weekend. Two other spoiled games lead me to that one, but I’m at least a little glad I tuned in because Chicago managed better than I expected, even playing at home; they also have a point of semi-major concern I’ll look at in one of the 10 Things below.

At this point in the season, though, I’m not sure Major League Soccer’s teams are so much rounding into either good or bad teams, as teams are sorting to, for lack of a better word, types. For instance, the Montreal Impact has to be the biggest “trap” team in MLS, terrible one weekend, lethal as poison the next, just ask the New England Revolution (but…more on that below). In Toronto FC and the New York Red Bulls, you’ve got the two teams likeliest to land 20 blows before you even hit the ground; New York City FC, on the other hand, has stumbled hard enough over the last month to fall from a permanent state of grace. The win against FC Dallas (again, more later) between two…just bad losses (NYCFC got shut-out in both and lost by a combined total of 7 goals) keeps the dreaded “glass jaw” label at bay until a bigger sample says otherwise, but, seeing a team who had rolled as fast as NYCFC take those hits…damn. (During the broadcast, Adrian Heath called the Red Bulls loss, “a shattering reality check,” or something like that.)

If you see omissions in the short (implied) list of top teams above, the team you have in mind might show up below. Might not, too. I’m confined to what I catch and I missed all the talkies and write-ups on this stuff this past weekend. Also, if you’re wondering where the Timbers fit into the puzzle above, I’ll wrap up with that after the 11th Thing down below.

Yeah, yeah, I’m giving myself a thoroughly justified bonus…now, this week’s 10 Things. Think I’ll start with a look at the fringes of greatness.

1) Solid, Not Spectacular

A commenter on a completely different game (which is why I can’t find it) dubbed SKC "the most complete team in the Western Conference," and I hereby second. No small part of that comes with Daniel Salloi fulfilling his potential (a goal and at least three good looks...of which you only get one), and the arrival of Johnny “Do the Hustle” Russell (comments to recap ain’t lyin’), but they’ve got a great spine and they also run like maniacs to hold up results. A good team that’ll go as far as its attack will carry it.

2) But Why the Comeback?

Everyone sees the run Orlando is on, and they’d do well to respect it, but, yes, that Real Salt Lake punched pretty damn even with that at home. The box score backs up the rumors of an even game whispered by highlights, and RSL’s quick, young Corey Baird could have had a hat-trick (sample), a couple other guys missed, etc. Orlando came back, though, and they keep coming back. Dom Dwyer scoring very Dom Dwyer goals explains a lot of that, but comebacks could speak to something else even bigger and better: a team making smart, in-game adjustments. #Theory

3) Matches Made in Hell (or Massachusetts)

In my Week 9 write-up, I talked up the potential I saw in the Revolution’s defensive set-up. This weekend might have showed the down-side - e.g., a team that’s strong enough in the open field can 1,000% de-pants your defense before it can collapse no matter how quickly you can compact it. I hedge on this argument for two reasons: 1) at least two of those goals (and maybe 3) came from terrible turnovers in bad parts of the field, and 2) if there’s a better open-field player in MLS than Ignacio Piatti, his name is Diego Valeri and, well, I’ll shut up now out of an appreciation for (most of) my audience. I like New England over all this season, but Piatti just tore them to fucking shreds.

4) Matches in Purgatory

LAFC wound up drawing against FC Dallas, thanks in no small part to both Maxi Urruti’s willingness to leave both legs on the field and his reasonable bag of tricks (Ciman go fetal watching that video). As for LAFC, I don’t have a clear bead on where they are just yet, but, in the interest of flagging the data, Dallas’ defense has still allowed only 7 goals this season - and they gave up three of those in one game, against NYCFC. Only one other team is in single digits on goals allowed. There are a couple 10s after that, but the numbers only go up from there (all the way up to 23, for the curious, and by Montreal).

5) More Numbers (and How Bad Is the Galaxy?)

Houston had one of their good games this weekend (y’know, one they finish enough chances), and the recap of their win over the Galaxy noted a mildly interesting number for the Dynamo: they’ve won three of their first five home games. The more interesting number hits the Galaxy right upside the head: the Galaxy has now lost three games straight and four games of their last 5. And they’ve got the pissy fan-base to prove it (see top comments on recap, calls for Chris Klein’s (metaphorical) head). Welcome to LA, Zlatan!

6) Robbo Out

The saints blessed Bobby Shuttleworth’s gloves with three miracles, and that kept Minnesota in the game early, and held up its win late. Vancouver still had 40+ minutes with a man advantage - and, at least according to the box score, they made reasonable use of it - but…but, do the ‘Caps present as a playoff team to you? Nah? At least one of their fans sees it too - there, I’m thinking the comment to the recap that dismisses Carl Robinson’s system as (I’m paraphrasing) collegiately-inspired. That tracks pretty well with what I’m watching…and I wonder how much that explains Vancouver.

7) Gaffes v. Players v. Talent

That said, I’m going to use the one goal Vancouver conceded on the night, plus one of the two Montreal allowed (the other wasn’t much better), plus a goal Houston conceded to talk about kinds of goals and what that means. Vancouver’s defense switched off completely on the play Minnesota’s Miguel Ibarra scored; Jose Aja, especially, jogged after the play waiting for an offside call. It was inexcusable, but still something you can cure with a lot of yelling, and Aja is only a bad defender when that becomes a pattern. That’s a different animal than the first goal Montreal allowed, because how does Wilfried Zahibo get that wide-open that close to goal? Now, that scenario brings in coaching, maybe even more than personnel, also, 23 goals allowed. The goal Houston coughed up to Ola Kamara, meanwhile, counts as something else again: the Dynamo defenders had great position, but boned the play. Lessons abound in all the above, but it’s (or was) late, so I’ll just say know your problems, think about patterns, etc.

8) The Angriest Fan-Base in MLS

I’m going with Philadelphia Union. The comments sections to all of their games are masterpieces of fan agony and laments over long-simmering frustration.

9) The Man You Missed

I don’t recall seeing anything on the Red Bulls Florian Valot when the season started, but he’s stood out whenever I’ve watched the Red Bulls and he’s played (and, yeah, solid numbers).

10) Outsized Missions and the Men Who Fill Them

I want to start this Thing with an appreciation: I can’t remember the last big-ticket player who came to MLS only to phone it in. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, just that I can’t remember otherwise (and for at least three reasons). And while I’m hesitant to say what constitutes living up to billing, I’d hold up Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s just fucking nuts, half-blind, just things you show other people, all-the-way overhead pass to dos Santos in setting up LA’s second equalizer. Still, you can ask them to do too much - as I have to think, again, Chicago is doing with Bastian Schweinsteiger. Having gone the full 90 with them, I’m not unconvinced they’re going to run him to ground before the playoffs at this rate.

11) The Ring I’d Been Pining For

This weekend blessed me with an example of what I wanted to see Darlington Nagbe do with decent regularity for as long as he played for the Timbers. Watch the run he makes, or, rather, simply continues, and how fucking easy it made Atlanta’s 2nd and, lest the point be lost, winning goal. That’s all I wanted. Ever. Not constantly, not every time. Just much, much more.

And that seems like a fine way to bring my Portland Timbers back into all this. What “kind of team” are they? First, even as I see teams on either side of the Western Conference standings that look higher (Vancouver, maybe Minnesota) or lower (RSL?) than the comparison warrants, I don’t think the standings are far off. That said, I’d put them above a trap team like Montreal, and nothing like complete as, say, SKC. If the defensive side keeps improving, I can see them at Dallas’ level - which isn’t bad, seeing how Dallas looks like a solid bet for the playoffs. If you want to get really weird, I wonder if they aren’t actually better than some teams in the Eastern Conference who are currently sitting on more points - e.g., Columbus and New England (to answer my own question, the former yes, the latter…still gathering data).

Broadly speaking, I believe Portland has arrived at solid. So long as they defend well, Portland has enough talent to get in their licks. So, yeah, I’d say they’re trending playoffs. Now, let’s put that to the test…

OK, all for this one. Due to some social activities for the weekend ahead, and a simple, sane desire to take a break, I’m only going to write up the Timbers next weekend. I’ll see all you curious sadists back in this same space for MLS Week 12!