Getting Reacquainted with Atlanta United FC, MLS's Super-Fun Party Guy

Act II, when things always look their worst.

[Standing Disclaimer: While I have watched…just a stupid amount of MLS over the years, I don’t watch the vast majority of games, never mind all of them. As such, it’s fair to take anything below that isn’t a hard number or a physical trophy as an impression, a couple steps removed.]

Thumbnail History

Tempted as I am to say that Atlanta United FC started a tradition of expansion teams coming into MLS swinging, that strictly applies to them and Los Angeles FC (with honorable mention to New York City FC because they didn’t actually lift a trophy until their 7th season). Atlanta announced their intentions in its very first season (2017, btw), finishing fourth overall and with the second best goal differential (+30) behind an historically (and freakishly) great Toronto FC team. They followed that opening triumph by finishing even higher in their second season (second overall, this time behind a Red Bull New York team winning its third Supporters’ Shield) and winning MLS Cup at…well, an unfortunate stroll because the team they bested was, again, my Portland Timbers (to any Timbers fans reading this, it only seems like Portland has lost MLS Cup to every team in MLS, but it was just NYCFC and Atlanta). That ended Act I in Atlanta’s history. They kicked off Act II in 2019 by finishing third overall and winning the U.S. Open…back when such things mattered. Then, Act II being what it is, tragedy (and a global pandemic) struck in 2020 and the breezes that forever blew at their back turned to blow in their faces. They ended the dread COVID season in 23rd place overall, out of the playoff picture despite a generous expansion of its outer boundaries. Atlanta’s fortunes have been mixed since then – e.g., two top 10 finishes (2021 and 2023) on either side of yet another 23rd place finish in 2022. In an expansion of theatric convention, Atlanta has stretched the third act of its early history over three seasons. The question is whether continues as tragedy or comedy.

Best Season(s)

Their Cup-winning 2018 season provides the obvious answer, what with Josef Martinez, Miguel Almiron and…[supporting cast] terrorizing all of MLS in transition, but I’m going to Atlanta’s 2018 season, when they finished third and won that Open Cup. Why? I mean, two trophies in three seasons. Think of what the future felt like to their fans…

…but, obviously, their best season was 2018. Lifting the Cup in front of your fans is a beautiful thing.

Atlanta United FC 5-1 Portland Timbers: A Festival of Waiting and Staring

Every Timber, and all Timbers.

Let’s start here:

“I mean, I don’t want to overplay the possibility Portland will be ‘the next Charlotte,’ but I don’t want to ignore it either.”

I pulled that from my MLS Week 4 preview and, while I don’t tell the future often, I would have won the lottery with a call that precise in 90% of your state lotteries. If soccer has a spin on getting kicked in the balls hard and true, it’s giving up anything north of four goals. And yet I want to pause here to present a couple arguments...hold on, before I get on the upcoming roll, the Portland Timbers got rolled like...16 drunks (that’s starters plus five subs) tonight in and by Atlanta tonight, losing 1-5 to a team that’s starting to look somewhere between plausible and serious. And, yes, as confirmed by the stats, the Timbers could have lost by a couple more on a worse day.

Back to the arguments...

I don’t blame the defense for this one. It was at least three-times removed from perfect – see the collective bumble that let Atlanta’s Caleb Wiley slip through for a long-range tap-in for their first, or the field-wide absence of anything helpful to stop Giorgos Giakoumakis from breaking his duck, and all over Portland’s defense (....and where the hell does “breaking his duck” come from and why such a dirty phrase?). Giakoumakis' goal put the game to 1-3 against Portland, but things looked lost the second Thiago Almada – from Atlanta, obviously, because how could Portland have an MVP in a 1-5 loss? – thumped in a Georgia peach of a free-kick from....where do you reckon, Zeke? 28 yards? 30? I’m trying to cut back on linking in posts. Not just on the suspicion that no one hits any of the links, but because you’re all adults and you know how to find what you like...but Almada’s free kick is worth linking to, seriously.

After that, sure, you can fault Larrys Mabiala for getting bumped off the play by a player (Almada) about two-thirds his side and I’m just as sure someone out there has things to say about how Luiz Araujo got around Justin Rasmussen, but those were the fifth and fourth goals of the game, respectively (I listed those two in order of egregiousness), and, as noted above, if there’s a team “this fucker was over once Atlanta scored three” club, I hereby sign on as Treasurer.