Say, anyone else see that they
played the CONCACAF Champions League final. A Mexican club won. No way…
I tried the tweet-storm thing for
these previews and, personally, I think they don’t suit me. I’m a long-form
kind of guy, even as I’m aspiring to be shorter. Also, I spent so much fucking time trying to squeeze my thoughts into 140 characters. As criminal as
foot-binding for a guy like me (if without the vile societal/gender hierarchies
of oppression. Just reaching for a dramatic metaphor…putting it down now.
Backing away…stupid, stupid, stupid!).
At any rate, moving on to preview
MLS Week 8.5/9 (nope, not yet “real” Week 9; still only seven teams have played
eight games (also, we are the Portland Timbers, we come from the future (as in
we’re one of the seven teams)). The approach here is supposed to be brief and
casual – I don’t actually want go that far beyond 140 characters on these, I
just wanted a little more room to breathe for bad jokes. I will say one thing,
as I read MLSSoccer.com’s Power Rankings, or even just stray notes among the
various editions of this week’s editions of The Kick Off, I kept bumping into a
thought that drives me fucking crazy – talking up a team’s accomplishments
without any reference to who they played. For instance, sure, it’s neat that
Minnesota United FC picked up its first clean sheet, but, guys, they earned
that against the Colorado Rapids and at home. That matters, almost as much as the clean-sheet itself. The same goes for
the Houston Dynamo blanking the San Jose Earthquakes: Wilmer Cabrera’s defensive
adjustment may or may not work out, but the ‘Quakes are bad this season on
offense, so…
If you want me impressed, let’s
talk Orlando City SC giving New York City FC a good Bronx cheer.
Anyway, I’ll mostly rely on the league's injury report for this stuff – though somebody needs to wake up the damn
intern, because he/she is leaving a lot of names hanging without status, e.g.,
Alex Crognale for Columbus? And I’ll get better about reading news. Promise.
Even though that’ll probably start and end with The KickOff. Speaking of
injuries…
FC Dallas v. Portland Timbers
Yes, this was always gonna be
hard. It sounds like Portland will dodge the bullet that is Mauro Diaz’s
inevitable (and, on past record, inevitably brief) return, but Dallas stuffed a
lot of horses into their stable. Does Portland have a chance – and without
Diego Valeri? Sure, it’ll just be harder. Someone singled out Carlos Grueza (ball-winning)
and Michael Barrios (attacking from width) for praise (might have been Oscar
Pareja), and that seems fair. Watch out for Maxi Urruti sniffing after the ball
– though I think David Guzman handles pressure as anyone – and, I dunno, maybe
try to pull Walker Zimmerman and Matt Hedges out of the center, or maybe have
Fanendo Adi occupy one of them long enough, and we’ll see what happens. Yeah, I
hope Diaz isn’t back yet…anyway, should be a good game. Might even be a fun
one. Uh, anything else? Oh, I don’t think much of Portland’s chances on
crosses, not with Zimmerman and his weird faces back there. Set-pieces will
suck to defend for the same reason. OK, that’s it. On to the shorter ones…
Toronto FC v Houston Dynamo
This one feels like a nice
opportunity for TFC to keep rolling. The Dynamo aren’t bad, or anything, but
they are a notch below TFC top to bottom – and they’re on the road for this
one. If Houston has an obvious opportunity, it’s sending their Flying Hondurans
(any of Alberth Elis, Romell Quioto and Mauro Manotas) behind the three in TFC’s
(still make-shift) back 3.
Montreal Impact v. Vancouver
Whitecaps
First, Ignacio Piatti. I’m going
to start every preview note on Montreal with that because…I mean, the guy just
keeps doing it (last week’s first against the Philadelphia Union was nuts…and
against the Union). I’d actually like to see Vancouver try the same middle-of-midfield
they ran against Portland (Tchani, Laba and Jacobson), because I think it’d
trouble Montreal’s geezers a little more.
Orlando City SC v. Colorado
Rapids
Because I put the Rapids’ chances
of scoring against this Orlando team real, real low, this one feels like
another potential step toward the resuscitation of Jason Kreis’ reputation. And
Colorado’s defense is worse this year than last. Fully expecting five straight
home wins for Orlando.
Columbus Crew SC v. New York City
FC
Now, here's your vehicle for
intrigue this weekend: two teams that managed little mini-rolls in the early
part of 2017, but that both lost last weekend. It was worse for the Crew,
though, and the omens ain’t good: both Alex Crognale and Artur played a role in
that revival and I think they’re both out. NYCFC looks to have the better
chances of bouncing back – but missing Roland Matarrita won’t help.
New York Red Bulls v. Chicago
Fire
I’ve decided to watch just one
game besides the Timbers every week* - and this one feels like the winner. New
York looked like themselves last week for the first time in 2017, so the
biggest question is whether they can carry that forward. Chicago should handle
their press all right, though, and they should feel good about a draw…though I
bet Dax McCarty would kill for the win.
Minnesota United FC v. San Jose
Earthquakes
This feels like a stiffer test
for the Loons than last week; a win, especially with a shut-out, would force a
re-shuffle about where Minnesota fits in the grand scheme. The ‘Quakes feel
stronger than the Rapids right now – and I’m guessing they could frustrate
Minnesota if they take a lead – but I think they’ll struggle to do even that
against rebuilt/reorganized Minnesota. Somewhere in there is why this has good
potential to be boring.
Sporting Kansas City v. Real Salt
Lake
If SKC can’t score in this one,
that’s bad. I mean RSL can barely even field a defense at this point, at least not
without a janitor suiting up, so this offers SKC a great chance to work out
some attacking kinks. To give RSL a little credit, I think they’re now on their
best formation, but scoring on SKC presents a damned tall challenge for what’s
still a patchwork attack.
Seattle Sounders v. New England
Revolution
This feels like Seattle’s game to
win, honestly, even as that’s informed at least in part by recency bias –
specifically last weekend’s results for both. Personally, though, I read those
games as each team reverting to something closer to actual form. Anything less
than three for Seattle would be the more interesting result.
Los Angeles Galaxy v.
Philadelphia Union
First, ha ha ha ha ha ha! HA ha
ha ha ha! This week’s toilet bowl. If LA can’t win this one – no, WIN(!!) this one
- the clouds over that franchise darken to the point where it might be time to
Do Something. As for Philly…pulling for you guys!
Atlanta United FC v. DC United
I rate this one second on level
of intrigue. The best news for DC is that, as Sebastian LeToux goes down,
Patrick Mullins rises again. Also, they should get a little boost from scoring
the last two goals last weekend – #joemomentum (that’s two levels of “old” on
that joke – boom!). As for Atlanta, it feels like just keeping doing what they’re
doing until it stops working. I feel good about it working this week, too.
OK, that’s it. I’ll cut way down
on the preamble next time, try to get this under two pages, maybe get more
stuff on Portland, maybe post it a day earlier, etc. To pick up that asterisk…
*
My current plan is to drop all the general MLS Week in Review stuff into the
same post as the report for the non-Timbers game I watch, and to shorten that
quite a bit. If you know me, however, you know how long my plans last. Also, I
got plans this weekend, so I’ll be lagging a bit. See ya when I see ya.
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