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| This, but with her stepping on his hand. |
The worst thing about the Portland Timbers’ 2023 season comes with the way it let them surface and actually see the life-raft before cruel gods, Houston Dynamo FC, et al, shoved their heads back under.
That metaphor came to me disturbingly early in Portland’s whimpering 1-3 loss to Houston tonight. The Timbers fell out of the lifeboat early and they never much looked like getting back into it. Just defeat painted in lurid orange all over Providence Park. I couldn’t call them a good team, never mind the better one, because Houston had both boxes checked by the time they scored the opening goal.
A one goal loss would have hurt, sure, but this gets back to the opening metaphor. Houston took a weed-whacker to every green-shoot of either relief (e.g., the halftime whistle) or hope (e.g., Dairon Asprilla coming on 14 minutes too late to yank the ever-struggling Yimmi Chara) that held any promise of turning things around for a team that never shifted all the way out of baffled. That each act took the form as concrete and immovable as a goal (relive the pain; it’s for morale or solidarity, I can’t remember which anymore) felt like the hand pushing Portland back under once, then twice.
Oh, well. There goes that season…
Fun and great as it was that Miles Joseph got Portland to where they would make the playoffs with a win, that same middling level of achievement left them hanging from a ledge, from which any slip whatsoever (e.g., a single, yet total loss) meant missing those same playoffs. I painted pinks and other pastels over this season until the cans ran out – gods return my eyes, I talked myself into believing the defense wasn’t cold percolating dogshit – but one word writes the Portland Timbers’ 2023 into the history books: fragility. Here’s to hoping I can make that word stand up, walk around and impress the swells.
That metaphor came to me disturbingly early in Portland’s whimpering 1-3 loss to Houston tonight. The Timbers fell out of the lifeboat early and they never much looked like getting back into it. Just defeat painted in lurid orange all over Providence Park. I couldn’t call them a good team, never mind the better one, because Houston had both boxes checked by the time they scored the opening goal.
A one goal loss would have hurt, sure, but this gets back to the opening metaphor. Houston took a weed-whacker to every green-shoot of either relief (e.g., the halftime whistle) or hope (e.g., Dairon Asprilla coming on 14 minutes too late to yank the ever-struggling Yimmi Chara) that held any promise of turning things around for a team that never shifted all the way out of baffled. That each act took the form as concrete and immovable as a goal (relive the pain; it’s for morale or solidarity, I can’t remember which anymore) felt like the hand pushing Portland back under once, then twice.
Oh, well. There goes that season…
Fun and great as it was that Miles Joseph got Portland to where they would make the playoffs with a win, that same middling level of achievement left them hanging from a ledge, from which any slip whatsoever (e.g., a single, yet total loss) meant missing those same playoffs. I painted pinks and other pastels over this season until the cans ran out – gods return my eyes, I talked myself into believing the defense wasn’t cold percolating dogshit – but one word writes the Portland Timbers’ 2023 into the history books: fragility. Here’s to hoping I can make that word stand up, walk around and impress the swells.
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| Are you lonseome, tonight...girl... |
Portland’s defensive fragility matters, absolutely, but – yes, I’m going to slip back into defending the defense again - Houston fired home all three of their goals from narrow angles (see both of Griffin Dorsey’s, i.e., Goal 1 and Goal 3), or from second chances you can only get against a team that, like the Timbers, played with the composure of someone fumbling for their keys as the Hitchcockian murderer chased them to their door (see, Coco Carrasquilla’s goal; also, please let the murderer be Peter Lorre). In other words, round the math in their favor (no, come with me; it’s okay*) and you arrive on a case that they allowed one goal and got burned by two fortune-kissed goals. (* I know. It's hard see a man lost in a fog.) A couple stats back that up too: Houston fired a total of seven shots; even with six on goal and three going in, they ended on 0.5 for xG.
Funny thing: the Timbers fired just as many shots on goal – e.g., six – but how many do you remember? And did the build-up to Felipe Mora’s goal look like anything but more of the mostly useless same? [Related: how high does a goal actually going in spike xG? Will ask a friend.] A review of the highlights just turned up better chances for the Timbers – e.g., Cristhian Paredes had a nice rip just before the half, same with Evander - but my handwritten notes for the games include disturbing, asterisked notes like “best transition, w/connection @ 65,” which, to be clear means it took the Timbers that long to hit freeway speed at home. Oh, and the attack petered out, just like the rest.
To their credit, Houston delivered what my homework said they would: good, stout defending, and all over the field - last-line defense, choking off the Timbers' paths down both flank, the scrambling with alarms clanging all 'around, you name it (the Dynamo arguably killed some of Portland’s best chances before they became shots) - which back-stopped their deliberate attacks. Them going up even one goal always struck me as the greatest risk, but one mocking little horned devil pointed to the biggest difference: Houston Dynamo FC played with a level of belief that the Timbers simply didn’t have. Or, worse, don't have. This, for me, is one of the great intangibles of the game and, as with dozens of things, it shares the famous definition of porn: you know it when you see it. It shows up as a touch so deft it sits down a defender, the unexpected pass that comes off, and knowing your teammate will carry it forward. It’s a level of trust between and among players as much as anything else and, on the club culture level, that feels like something that Portland has lost since its best seasons. Which is exactly what makes it so devilishly tricky to resolve.
The only thing I know about what I’ve half-seriously called The Miles Joseph Miracle is that it was fun to watch and believe again. And, in so many ways, tonight felt like proof of concept for that miracle, i.e., that make-or-break moment where the unlikely messiah had to put up or shut up. If he has the chops, the thinking goes, he’d rally to victory what I think most Timbers fans would agree is close(?) to the best available lineup the Portland Timbers have right now. He didn’t, of course, and how far it looked from close really does make one start to wonder about how much “coach” this team needs.
Funny thing: the Timbers fired just as many shots on goal – e.g., six – but how many do you remember? And did the build-up to Felipe Mora’s goal look like anything but more of the mostly useless same? [Related: how high does a goal actually going in spike xG? Will ask a friend.] A review of the highlights just turned up better chances for the Timbers – e.g., Cristhian Paredes had a nice rip just before the half, same with Evander - but my handwritten notes for the games include disturbing, asterisked notes like “best transition, w/connection @ 65,” which, to be clear means it took the Timbers that long to hit freeway speed at home. Oh, and the attack petered out, just like the rest.
To their credit, Houston delivered what my homework said they would: good, stout defending, and all over the field - last-line defense, choking off the Timbers' paths down both flank, the scrambling with alarms clanging all 'around, you name it (the Dynamo arguably killed some of Portland’s best chances before they became shots) - which back-stopped their deliberate attacks. Them going up even one goal always struck me as the greatest risk, but one mocking little horned devil pointed to the biggest difference: Houston Dynamo FC played with a level of belief that the Timbers simply didn’t have. Or, worse, don't have. This, for me, is one of the great intangibles of the game and, as with dozens of things, it shares the famous definition of porn: you know it when you see it. It shows up as a touch so deft it sits down a defender, the unexpected pass that comes off, and knowing your teammate will carry it forward. It’s a level of trust between and among players as much as anything else and, on the club culture level, that feels like something that Portland has lost since its best seasons. Which is exactly what makes it so devilishly tricky to resolve.
The only thing I know about what I’ve half-seriously called The Miles Joseph Miracle is that it was fun to watch and believe again. And, in so many ways, tonight felt like proof of concept for that miracle, i.e., that make-or-break moment where the unlikely messiah had to put up or shut up. If he has the chops, the thinking goes, he’d rally to victory what I think most Timbers fans would agree is close(?) to the best available lineup the Portland Timbers have right now. He didn’t, of course, and how far it looked from close really does make one start to wonder about how much “coach” this team needs.
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| O.Fucking.G. |
At the end of it all, this size and scale of tonight’s pratfall yanked our collective clouds out of delusion and back to the sobering reality that, near as I can tell, most Timbers fans accept: the Timbers don’t have a trophy-winning roster right now. Yeah, yeah, I see the “NO SHIT, SHERLOCK" of two playoff-free seasons and I've read dozens of online chatter about whose contract is up when points to some broad agreement that the Timbers have (serious) shortcomings on the personnel side. And yet, this is where this whole conversation turns weird, at least for me.
Name any Timber (and here’s the roster for reference) and ask me whether I’d be okay with letting him go, and I’d only say “yes” without hesitation when you say Yimmi Chara. Seriously, and with respect and to the best wishes for his future, you couldn’t even talk me into buying him down. The question that burns hot enough to sear is what the flaming hell holds me back from saying the same about a team this rife with ineffectuality. To be clear, the Timbers finished 10th in the Western Conference, 18th overall, and with the fourth-worst total for goals allowed, tied for sixth-worst on goal differential – again, the defense is shitty! – but, if you sat me down and asked me to name all the defenders I’d fire in the name of progress and all that is good, I’d pause longer than I should, volunteer Larrys Mabiala and, after that, hem and haw until too late into the 2024 season. Absolutely nothing justifies that position…and yet there’s my hand on the plug, trembling.
The story changes in the attack and, for at least the fifth season running, I Am Very Concerned About the Midfield (capitalized because this theme has recurred long enough to make it my brand), because that's where I see the more fetid rot. Portland's already down to one reliable forward - Mora - so, there's plenty of room to upgrade there, but I'd also argue the midfield is simply incoherent - or at least it becomes so once Diego Chara finally, if ubelievably, ages out. To puncture what may be the last happy thought remaininng, people talk about how Paredes has looked in 2023, but I'm stll not clear on how good he'll look in a post-Chara line-up. And, to finally make the point I started up above, Portland's defense has 50 problems, but the persistent, even chronic weakness of the attack and midfield adds the other 49 and throws in the bitch to make it an even 100. If I had to point to the biggest problem for the Portland Timbers right now, I'd go with a basic incoherence in the roster. Maybe new, better and permanent coach can make that better, but I also wouldn't be surprised to see many men fail to get Excalibur out of that janky stone.
At any rate, change is coming and for the simple reason that it has to. That's dust we're eating, guys, and it doesn't so good. The single most shocking thing that could happen with and around the Portland Timbers would be seeing them return every single player and signing the interim coaching staff to a 10-year deal drunk with bonuses. We all know that won't happen, so I'm going to steep in the blues that settled down from the skies and wait to see what the team makes for changes…and then wait even longer to comment on them.
I can’t believe it’s over, and yet isn’t that just as stupid as clinging to the belief that the Timbers can’t upgrade its defense?I'd say till next season, but I know I'll have something to celebrate or gripe about before then....
Name any Timber (and here’s the roster for reference) and ask me whether I’d be okay with letting him go, and I’d only say “yes” without hesitation when you say Yimmi Chara. Seriously, and with respect and to the best wishes for his future, you couldn’t even talk me into buying him down. The question that burns hot enough to sear is what the flaming hell holds me back from saying the same about a team this rife with ineffectuality. To be clear, the Timbers finished 10th in the Western Conference, 18th overall, and with the fourth-worst total for goals allowed, tied for sixth-worst on goal differential – again, the defense is shitty! – but, if you sat me down and asked me to name all the defenders I’d fire in the name of progress and all that is good, I’d pause longer than I should, volunteer Larrys Mabiala and, after that, hem and haw until too late into the 2024 season. Absolutely nothing justifies that position…and yet there’s my hand on the plug, trembling.
The story changes in the attack and, for at least the fifth season running, I Am Very Concerned About the Midfield (capitalized because this theme has recurred long enough to make it my brand), because that's where I see the more fetid rot. Portland's already down to one reliable forward - Mora - so, there's plenty of room to upgrade there, but I'd also argue the midfield is simply incoherent - or at least it becomes so once Diego Chara finally, if ubelievably, ages out. To puncture what may be the last happy thought remaininng, people talk about how Paredes has looked in 2023, but I'm stll not clear on how good he'll look in a post-Chara line-up. And, to finally make the point I started up above, Portland's defense has 50 problems, but the persistent, even chronic weakness of the attack and midfield adds the other 49 and throws in the bitch to make it an even 100. If I had to point to the biggest problem for the Portland Timbers right now, I'd go with a basic incoherence in the roster. Maybe new, better and permanent coach can make that better, but I also wouldn't be surprised to see many men fail to get Excalibur out of that janky stone.
At any rate, change is coming and for the simple reason that it has to. That's dust we're eating, guys, and it doesn't so good. The single most shocking thing that could happen with and around the Portland Timbers would be seeing them return every single player and signing the interim coaching staff to a 10-year deal drunk with bonuses. We all know that won't happen, so I'm going to steep in the blues that settled down from the skies and wait to see what the team makes for changes…and then wait even longer to comment on them.
I can’t believe it’s over, and yet isn’t that just as stupid as clinging to the belief that the Timbers can’t upgrade its defense?I'd say till next season, but I know I'll have something to celebrate or gripe about before then....
A comment sent to my DMs from someone who asked to remain anonymous:
ReplyDelete"Regarding not turning over defense: if possible, you wouldn't immediately cut Mabiala, Araujo, Bingham and Rasmussen? Given his regression, I don't think I'd be heartbroken if we sold Mosquera. I don't think 'he gets caught upfield' as much as he doesn't understand how to defend: what angles to take, when to take risks, whether he should attack the ball or the player, what the pass is, or what space the defender is going to try to use next. He just looks lost out there. And he doesn't recover well. Bryan Acosta doesn't seem consistent enough to be a Paredes back up, and Ayala seems to be too slow in decision-making. I might take another year of Caliskan. Turning the defense around the core of McGraw, Zuparic and Paredes isn't something that would make me sad. And I don't watch soccer to be sad."
Me now:
ReplyDeleteWhen you read that note on Mosquera, keep in mind that he was just named to the 22 Under 22 list for 2023. I like it for two reasons: 1) it argues about how few sacred cows there are on Portland's roster, and 2) I suspect that's the kind of thinking this team needs going forward.
My only quibble comes with the depth pieces and, there, only the younger ones (e.g., not Bryan Acosta). First, the quality of 90% of MLS rosters falls off pretty quickly once you get past the first 15 players; it goes off a cliff on some teams. That's to say, I'm not sure how much the Timbers can improve on a player like, say, Rasmussen on the salary he makes. That's not to say don't try, but to accept the likelihood of success going in. Second, the Timbers have a tradition of developing players slower than most, the imports in particular (e.g., Paredes and Asprilla). On the one hand, young players are often projects; on the other...maybe Portland's just finding and signing projects when they need "right now" players. Lots to turn over...
A future preseason-2024 source for fan frustration will be the Timbers returnees. More will come back than we (I) want. They collectively failed in 2023 and with most, this morning, I don't want to look at the faces of mediocrity again. That's unkind of me because of contracts, player potential, realistic options for the Timbers, etc, etc. But it will feed my paranoia that next year's team might be re-jiggered so that it is just good enough to get the paying suckers into the big tent again. Forgive my post-game bitterness.
ReplyDeleteAt the stadium, most of us calmly acknowledged, from maybe twenty minutes in, that Houston was the better team. They knew what each other was going to do. Timbers players still seemed surprised in run of play by where their teammates were/weren't in this last game of the season. They were direct; we still had that strange hesitancy to be bold and after an initial burst, reverted to floaty crosses as the only attack option. We ended up with 11 corner kicks; they with 3 - showing how comfortable their defense was against our main tactic.
Did Steve Clark take perverse joy in winding up the Army in the first half? Kinda seems that way. Seller's remorse says that Bingham v. Clark is a win for Clark. Were his wage demands of a couple years ago completely crazy? I have no idea.
I had some of the same thoughts about Clark. Ivacic looked good for a season and now heads the list of people not likely to return with Niezgoda. Of course Ivacic was on contract and Clark wasn’t but that still seems like a big miss for the front office.
DeleteSomeone on reddit posted a virtual seminar on all the problems with the Timbers passing; it was tough reading, but fair as the crack of a nun's ruler. Your first paragraph...there's a lot in there. Despite, oh, the last three, four paragraphs of the post above, a healthy plurality of me would explode into glitter if the Timbers could somehow return an entirely new team next season. I know that's impossible, of course, but it'd be cool if every season could start like a game of Hearts, y'know?
DeleteI kid, I kid. But, MY GOD, do I want some new players to stare at...