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| Just gimme till noon (or Colorado). I'll rally.... |
Shit got dark in a hurry in that one, didn’t it? FC Cincinnati managed to play Orlando City SC even in a first half that offended at least three of the senses (but which three?); the low quality aside, that’s 45 minutes’ worth of earning a point on the road. There’s no denying that Darren Mattocks pulled Cincinnati’s one bright moment from some as yet uncharted hole of his ass, but the teams went into the locker rooms tied a 1-1.
It took less than a third as much time for Orlando to rack up three more goals, only one of them not built at least partially from garbage, and they game arguably ended with that, the Lions’ third goal. The hits (to the groin) kept coming, sadly, and FC Cincinnati walked out Orlando City Stadium with the biggest loss in its short MLS history. I’m not sure how a team goes about exorcising such a low-rent demon – e.g., would beating Orlando by the same spread in Nippert Stadium do it, or will it take getting beat just as badly by a better team? (do witch doctors charge hourly?) – but, when FC Cincy fans swap horror stories, I expect this one will come up now and again. Or until the mists of time swallow it and eclipse its memory…
On a personal level, I need to acknowledge the few blind-spots I had coming into the game. While I would not have known that a family emergency would take Roland Lamah back to the Ivory Coast (and I join everyone in hoping that ends well), I definitely slept more than I should have on injuries to Allan Cruz, Leonardo Bertone, and Fatai Alashe. Bad as that was (especially, Bertone, a player I rate in line up), it should have been clear that someone connected to FC Cincy had done something unholy when Greg Garza pulled up gimpy at the fifth (fucking) minute; two of those things happening is bad luck, but all three is clearly a curse, and I can only hope that a rigorous investigation and eventual spiritual purging will follow, because things simply cannot go on like this without some unacceptable number of seals breaking.
It took less than a third as much time for Orlando to rack up three more goals, only one of them not built at least partially from garbage, and they game arguably ended with that, the Lions’ third goal. The hits (to the groin) kept coming, sadly, and FC Cincinnati walked out Orlando City Stadium with the biggest loss in its short MLS history. I’m not sure how a team goes about exorcising such a low-rent demon – e.g., would beating Orlando by the same spread in Nippert Stadium do it, or will it take getting beat just as badly by a better team? (do witch doctors charge hourly?) – but, when FC Cincy fans swap horror stories, I expect this one will come up now and again. Or until the mists of time swallow it and eclipse its memory…
On a personal level, I need to acknowledge the few blind-spots I had coming into the game. While I would not have known that a family emergency would take Roland Lamah back to the Ivory Coast (and I join everyone in hoping that ends well), I definitely slept more than I should have on injuries to Allan Cruz, Leonardo Bertone, and Fatai Alashe. Bad as that was (especially, Bertone, a player I rate in line up), it should have been clear that someone connected to FC Cincy had done something unholy when Greg Garza pulled up gimpy at the fifth (fucking) minute; two of those things happening is bad luck, but all three is clearly a curse, and I can only hope that a rigorous investigation and eventual spiritual purging will follow, because things simply cannot go on like this without some unacceptable number of seals breaking.
So, no, the “dodgy-sausage” line-up didn’t help, but even that leads to my first question about what really happened out there – and bear with me a little as I talk this out. As happened last weekend in Cincinnati against Montreal, Orlando looked just fucking awful out there. To pick on just one guy, Sebastian Mendez looked borderline incompetent every time he touched the ball; Cristian Higuita, a player I’ve seen dominate games, coughed up the ball over and over again. With these two games as a sample, I’m left wondering to what extent Cincinnati makes teams bad. If that’s what’s happening, that’s a good thing, if only in a practical sense (aesthetically, on the other hand, it is death). Honestly, the two teams involved (e.g., Orlando and Montreal (who drew New England in Montreal yesterday) muddle the sample by way of being terrible, but if teams keep looking awful against Cincinnati, that would be something at least. Thus endeth the silver lining.
Regardless of where the balance of truth falls on that question, Cincinnati absolutely collapsed over the first 15 minutes of the second half. Each terrible goal allowed had its author: Kendall Waston owes Spencer Richey a pair of fancy cocktails as amends for giving up a real stupid penalty kick (the second one is to erase the memory of Nani’s put-back); Watson got exposed wide by Ruan on Orlando's third goal, a player he could never catch, but I fault him less for that one than I do Alvas Powell who failed to follow Nani’s run, thereby allowing the tap-in; finally, Emanuel Ledesma’s lazy set-piece marking let Tesho Akindele get free for the second goal of his brace (Tesho’s first has two parents as I see it). (I don't have specific recall of what allowed Dom Dwyer's goal...but also feel to see how it matters? It's like worrying about losing your leg when you died.)
Giving up five goals ranks near a colonoscopy for…discomfort, but warning signals of an abrupt drop-off on Cincinnati’s already dubious roster feels like a more enduring issue. Again, and for emphasis, this was Orlando Fucking City Fucking SC, aka, not even the milk left behind when the cream of the league rises. Chances on goal shouldn’t evaporate just because Lamah didn’t start – and, with just five teams in MLS allowing more goals than Orlando’s 20, it’s not like Cincy stared down a defensive juggernaut. Going the other way, Cincinnati became one of those five teams today, which means they didn’t have a tricky attack to manage.
Best case, this was a fluke, an accident at the intersection of a bunch of missing players and Florida’s frankly disgusting weather. Garza probably won’t be coming back any time soon, but most of the others will in time, and that’s arguably/probably what establishes the basement floor. As such, brushing off this loss, and to a point of maximalist denial, seems like the only course open for retaining faith in all the squad. Pretend it didn’t happen, the same way HR pretends you didn’t show up to the office drunk that one time…by the same token, if it happens again, you know you’ve got a problem. Right?
Cincinnati has three more games before the Gold Cup break – at home against an improving (dammit!) New York Red Bulls side, followed by games away at the Colorado Rapids (yay?) and New York City FC (so much not yay). I don’t want to name some minimal points threshold for those three games, but a near-term morale boost of any kind is somewhat needed after this one. Beating the unquestioned worst team in MLS would be better than a kick in the head, if without being nearly enough.
Before I depress myself further, I’ll wrap up with some notes.
- Call it the valor of youth, but Frankie Amaya was one of my few positives today. When Cincinnati started sinking into a defensive crouch early in the game, he was one of the first players to start chasing the ball.
- Ledesma deserves some props for at least putting up a couple shots, and for playing with some life late in the game.
- Mattocks did literally all the work on FC Cincy’s lone goal. He had zero help. You can’t build a good season out of that, but it’s something.
- Spencer Richey deserves a birthday cake every day during the week ahead just for putting up with all this bullshit.
- Alvas Powell had a couple sterling defensive moments. That is all.
- Kenny Saief should not try to take players on. He is too slow for that. I’m left asking whether they’re using his particular set of skills correctly.
- Saief brings up my closing question – i.e., why Yoann Damet opted against starting both Saief and Fanendo Adi. Specifically, how much did that choice damn Cincinnati to the fairly pathetic possession numbers it put up?
All right, that’s my ramble on this one…till next weekend and the New York Red Bulls.
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