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| Also warms the heart. My Sunday is planned. |
As I look at the results rolling in during this preseason, I’m reminded of the entirely goddamn awful names some American soccer teams have chosen of their own free will: “The Tampa Bay Rowdies”? “San Diego” (fucking) “Loyal”? “Austin Bold”? (seriously, Austin? I expect so much more of you…). Fire your marketing teams…
Back to the grind, the big news from this past week of preseason came with a guarantee that a regular season will follow: Major League Soccer and the MLS Players’ Association agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement…was it Thursday? (And does that matter?) Given how little controversy surrounds it, I don’t have much to say about the particulars of who got what outta the deal (but, for those who want the details). I figured the CBA would get done the day the league and the MLSPA extended negotiations to February 7th, so I guess the most surprising thing about the whole thing in my mind is how much regular people care about how much professional soccer players get paid. Personally, all I need to know is, 1) that the players aren’t getting screwed over, and 2) we've got five seasons before we have to sweat this shit again (that said, the thing with the players getting a cut of a new TV deal is pretty nifty).
So, that’s that. The rest of this post will do the usual: check in with both the Portland Timbers and FC Cincinnati, followed by a whip-around of results from the past week. Before continuing, I have an editorial note: personal obligations will keep me from posting a weekly next weekend; in the best of all possible world, however, I’ll have preseason games to write about – two for FC Cincinnati (Wednesday and Sunday) and one for Portland (Sunday), so…can I haz streams, plz jesus? I don't think I've got another week of pretending to know anything about (e.g.,) Pablo Piatti, Mattheus Rossetto, or Jeizon Ramirez, because I don’t. We’ll see how everyone fits in or fails to as the results pile up…
Moving on, I wanted to fold one of those peak Off-Season Hot-Take Specials that MLSSoccer.com churns out in between seasons into my discussions of Cincinnati and Portland. In his latest column, Matt Doyle answered the question of which player is most important to each team in MLS. I’ll start both sections by taking issue with his answers (or not), while also checking in on what happened with both teams over the past week.
Back to the grind, the big news from this past week of preseason came with a guarantee that a regular season will follow: Major League Soccer and the MLS Players’ Association agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement…was it Thursday? (And does that matter?) Given how little controversy surrounds it, I don’t have much to say about the particulars of who got what outta the deal (but, for those who want the details). I figured the CBA would get done the day the league and the MLSPA extended negotiations to February 7th, so I guess the most surprising thing about the whole thing in my mind is how much regular people care about how much professional soccer players get paid. Personally, all I need to know is, 1) that the players aren’t getting screwed over, and 2) we've got five seasons before we have to sweat this shit again (that said, the thing with the players getting a cut of a new TV deal is pretty nifty).
So, that’s that. The rest of this post will do the usual: check in with both the Portland Timbers and FC Cincinnati, followed by a whip-around of results from the past week. Before continuing, I have an editorial note: personal obligations will keep me from posting a weekly next weekend; in the best of all possible world, however, I’ll have preseason games to write about – two for FC Cincinnati (Wednesday and Sunday) and one for Portland (Sunday), so…can I haz streams, plz jesus? I don't think I've got another week of pretending to know anything about (e.g.,) Pablo Piatti, Mattheus Rossetto, or Jeizon Ramirez, because I don’t. We’ll see how everyone fits in or fails to as the results pile up…
Moving on, I wanted to fold one of those peak Off-Season Hot-Take Specials that MLSSoccer.com churns out in between seasons into my discussions of Cincinnati and Portland. In his latest column, Matt Doyle answered the question of which player is most important to each team in MLS. I’ll start both sections by taking issue with his answers (or not), while also checking in on what happened with both teams over the past week.
The Grand Tour of Kicking Costa Rica’s Ass
Doyle’s Take on Portland’s Most Important Player: Diego Chara
I disagree with that one, and on the grounds of treating Chara as a steady state. To reverse the argument, so long as you accept that Chara had a quality 2019, that makes a case that what the Timbers really need is for other players to step up. And, if that’s the case, wouldn’t one of those players become the more important player?
Doyle’s Take on Portland’s Most Important Player: Diego Chara
I disagree with that one, and on the grounds of treating Chara as a steady state. To reverse the argument, so long as you accept that Chara had a quality 2019, that makes a case that what the Timbers really need is for other players to step up. And, if that’s the case, wouldn’t one of those players become the more important player?
With that in mind, I’m calling Larrys Mabiala (or Dario Zuparic or Bill Tuiloma) my most important player for Portland in 2020. The team needs the defensive stability and continuity that it didn’t have in 2019, basically. The Timbers struggled in front of goal last season, something that wouldn’t have mattered nearly as much if they had something closer to a lock-down defense to cover for it. When they needed wins down the stretch to build a little momentum heading into the post-season, Portland coughed up losses to, say, the New York Red Bulls, and late draws to (then) weaker teams like Sporting Kansas City and, especially, the New England Revolution (did I prove anything with this...eh, who cares?). Scoring more goals than all those teams (or just scoring at all against the Red Bulls) would have had the same effect, so you can make an equally compelling argument to name an attacking player for this – and who isn’t wishing for any of the three new guys to turn into a terror? – but Chara isn’t the guy who needs to step up; he just needs to meet his own very high standard for another season.
That said, Chara will be replaced one day, and by necessity – and when that happens that guy (or those guys) will become the most important player on the Timbers’ roster. That feels like a good time to note/celebrate the permanent transfer of Cristhian Paredes from Mexico’s Club America. In keeping with the whole thing of stepping up, Paredes went from a player I couldn’t fully trust in 2018 to a player I name-checked in every line-up during 2019. Just knowing the team as an option in that position, and a credible one, gets halfway to calming future anxiety.
Moving on to results, Portland added two more wins to its (so far) perfect 2020 preseason – a 3-1 win over Municipal Grecia last Wednesday and a 3-0 win over Herediano earlier today. That makes for three straight wins and with a +6 goal differential, on only two goals allowed. More encouraging still: seeing new kid Felipe Mora’s name on the score-sheet in both games, not to mention Dairon Asprilla’s name twice on today’s…I mean, if Asprilla started firing sometime before October, and with all the new (potential) fire-power added…just all that’s positive and it warms the heart.
Taller tests – not to mention, normal games with normal time-keeping – wait for the Timbers back in Portland starting next Sunday against the Vancouver Whitecaps. For anyone wondering why I neglected to include Eryk Williamson’s brace in the above (against Municipal Grecia), it’s because I don’t expect him to start when the regular season comes, or even to play regularly. I’m not saying I wouldn’t welcome it if he did and it all worked out, I’m only saying I don’t expect it. Related, I’ll feel like I’ll have firmer ground to stand on after February 22nd, after the Timbers have played other MLS clubs – aka, teams I recognize and understand in terms of upsides and downsides. The trip to Costa Rica sounds like a success, but it’s not apples-to-apples in terms of motivation or circumstances that they’ll get against more regular opposition.
Breaking Even in AZ
Doyle’s Take on FC Cincinnati’s Most Important Player: Haris Medunjanin
I’m tempted to say Jimmy McLaughlin on the basis of fan-service alone, but, per the hints dropped around a poll I posted earlier this week, I’d argue that the support system around Medunjanin matters as much as anything he’ll do as a “regista,” so I’m going with Allan Cruz. I get the case/enthusiasm for fancy new players like Yuya Kubo, Jurgen Locadia, or even newest kid, Adrien Regattin (more later, even if it’s not much), but, bad as Cincy’s attack was last season, their defense was worse/total and complete wet shit. If the defense bleeds anything like the numbers they did in 2019, all three of those players would need career seasons just to balance out the carnage.
Cincinnati fans got one more answer as to how that’s going last Wednesday with a disturbingly narrow win over El Paso Locomotive. With the assumption that Locadia will take someone’s place in it, the first half starting line-up from this game looks close to what I’d expect Ron Jans to trot out to start the season…and it took a goal by an unexpected player (Fatai Alashe) to get a W over an admittedly solid USL team (El Paso ended up 6th in the USL West in 2019). The phrasing used in the official write-up – “prevent manager Ron Jans' men from a second consecutive scoreless preseason performance” – can’t be what Cincinnati fans want to read as the regular season looms nearer. That they got blown out by the one MLS team they’ve played this preseason could also stand some nerves on end, but I’m choosing to take all this under advisement for now, if only to keep my head up.
Like the Timbers, Cincinnati have three preseason games left starting (as noted above) on Wednesday. Those looking for some hope to hold onto can draw a little relief from the fact that neither Locadia nor Regattin have suited up in orange and blue yet (and that’s what the uniforms will still be, right? Cincinnati didn’t go “all Chicago” on us this off-season?). On that, my clammy anxiety with Regattin tracks with the one I’ve got with Locadia, and it’s contained in this sentence:
“Regattin has been without a club since leaving the Turkish second division side Akhisarspor in August.”
Look, I’ve seen people getexcited about the Locadia signing, and that’s both well and good; here’s to hoping the words improve to “great” when the Dutchman finally starts playing for them. All the same, that he came in as Brighton and Hove Albion’s record signing just two years ago isn’t a great signal. Record signings are supposed to be the ones you build your team around, not someone you loan to Hoffenheim; Regattin’s late spell of under-employment sends a similar signal. May both players (and Kubo and Tom Pettersson) prove me wrong; I am ready and willing to eat my doubt with a healthy helping of crow, if for no better reason than I’ve got to watch these guys 34 games this season. If it’s like the last 5-6 games of 2019…please just shoot me.
I’ve got one final thought about Cincinnati at the moment, and that’s this: nothing baffles me about this team more than the enthusiasm/hype I see around Frankie Amaya. Lord knows this team has bigger fish to fry, and all over the field…he just never did that much for me last year. Look, it's just that hope makes me sad when it's misplaced...
Well, that’s in on the two teams I track. Let’s see what there is to see with the rest of the week’s results – at least the ones that weren’t played against college or foreign teams (because I can’t translate those). All of those are listed below, with notes when I have them.
Results Round-Up
Atlanta United FC 3-2 Birmingham Legion
I’m seeing enough of Pity Martinez’s and Ezekiel Barco’s names to notice. Also, their new kid, Rossetto scored one.
Chicago Fire 3-1 Nashville SC
Seeing a lot of MLS-average ploggers in Nashville’s first half line-up. And, also, good for Chicago…
Colorado Rapids 0-4 Toronto FC
No, it is not a good sign for Colorado that TFC dropped three of those goals on their starters. The Rapids are following a script similar to Cincy’s (i.e., they’re only beating lower-tier teams).
Columbus Crew SC 4-1 San Jose Earthquakes
The ‘Quakes started its kids, but the first team allowed just as many (though maybe that Columbus’ 63rd minute goal belongs there as well). Good early result for Columbus, though.
FC Dallas 2-2 Los Angeles FC
The “marquee match-up” for the week, if there was one. I do think Dallas will be tough in 2020…
FC Dallas 1-0 Austin Bold
…even if they undercut that theory earlier today.
DC United 1-0 Louisville City
Los Angeles Galaxy 4-1 Vancouver Whitecaps
“LA's lineup and goalscorers weren't revealed on social media.” Well, fuck you too.
Minnesota United FC 3-2 Charleston Battery
Eh.
Minnesota United FC 5-0 Miami FC
Eh. This seems like the bare minimum, really.
Montreal Impact 0-1 Philadelphia Union
Montreal Impact 0-1 Orlando City SC
I’m looking at Montreal’s attacking options in both games and feeling concerned (for them, that is.)
New York City FC 2-1 Orange County SC
I guess it makes sense they’re done with preseason games, what with the CCL and all…and yet it feels strange. Especially given their rate of success (1-0-3, anyone?)
All right, that’s it for this week. Hopefully, the soccer gods will give me a game to write about this Wednesday…
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