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| "Reading Cliff Notes" taken very literally. |
In other news, a brain-wave on the way home from work has finally completed The Plan going forward for this site:
1) Portland Timbers Wrap Up posted no later than Sunday; and
2) a 50%-plus wrap up of the weekend’s results topped with a preview of Portland’s next opponent posted no later than Wednesday, but ideally on Tuesday (I did it, mom!).
A couple things recommend this shift, most personal, at least one practical, but that’s enough for the editorial notes because, this week, I’m on a damn schedule. Close readers will notice that the “50%-plus” figure in No. 2. The current goal has me including blurbs on six games in the weekly wrap ups. Those will be based on highlights, with a dash of historical context, but those six games, plus the Timbers game, plus a longer review of Portland’s next opponent will get my eyes on a total of 16 teams every week – i.e., just over half the league. In an attempt to get a jump on the future, I’m already revising The Plan for when Major League Soccer switches to a handful of regional conferences in 2027-2028 (that’s actually happening, right? I didn't dream that?), but I’ll cross that bridge next fall. In the here and now, though, The Plan means ignoring seven results every week. Covering those real fast, with links to The Mothership’s wrap ups embedded in each final score:
Results I Ignored (no real surprises here)
New England Revolution 3-0 Club du Foot Montreal (expected on both sides of the score)
Real Salt Lake 3-1 Sporting Kansas City (see above)
Charlotte FC 2-1 Philadelphia Union (Union=dead to me until they get at least a draw)
Inter Miami CF 2-2 Austin FC (very Austin season so far and ignoring Miami is my joint)
New York City FC 1-1 St. Louis CITY FC (mildly surprising; becoming St. Louis-curious)
Houston Dynamo FC 0-1 Seattle Sounders (wee alarms 4 Houston; Seattle boring again)
Los Angeles Galaxy 1-2 Minnesota United FC (expected; also good for the Loons)
With that out of the way, let’s talk about the Timbers’ opposition next weekend, with
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| Or rainbows. Both are bad in this case. |
Los Angeles FC
5-0-1, 16 pts., 6 GP; 14 gf, 0 ga (+14); home 4-0-0, away 1-0-1
Past Results: WWWWDW
Strength/Location of Schedule
v MIA (3-0 W); @ HOU (2-0 W); v FCD (1-0 W); v STL (2-0 W); @ ATX (0-0 D); v ORL (6-0 W)
LAFC handing Orlando City SC six chunks of their own asses over 95 minutes or so didn’t provide much in the way of enlightenment. It did, however, serve up a series of cautionary tales – e.g., don’t fuck around with the ball in midfield, don’t miss tackles in midfield, Jesus fucking Christ, get back, get back, GET BACK! and, fucking Christ, was that Denis Bouanga’s third goal? The usual suspects punished Orlando’s mistakes – Son Heung-Min fed Bouanga two of his goals (I count the first among the things that cannot happen) on top of forcing the own-goal out of David Brekalo that opened the scoring. I’ve seen Timbers fans discount Bouanga as a one-trick pony, but when that one trick comes off often as it does for him, that pony is shitting gold.
Even with the CONCACAP Champions’ Cup-driven fixture congestion (and a solid win over Liga MX's Cruz Azul tonight), Marc Dos Santos has started most of the same players with some switches at the margins. He played the exact same lineups in all three games versus the Texas Trio (Houston, Dallas and Austin; like this one) and most of the changes come with, say, Mathieu Choniere coming in for the injured Stephen Eustaquio (and doing a little better than av-e-rage) or Nathan Ordaz starting over David Martinez, vice versa, or thereabouts. A stable set up, basically, and one that has surely exceeded expectations for the 2026 regular. Hugo Lloris still plays in goal (and still has his hiccups) and the reliable back four on Dos Santos’ 4-3-3/4-2-3-1 has reliably featured Sergi Palencia, Ryan Porteus, Nkosi Tafari, and either Eddie Segura or Ryan Hollingshead. As indicated by that zero goals allowed stat, that’s a good bunch – Tafari, in particular, looks like a man who has found his place – but some share of the credit for that (not the lion’s share, but still enough to feed two) goes to LAFC’s dueling No. 8s, Mark Delgado and Timothy Tillman. Solid defensively, they cover a lot of ground, efficient passers and capable of the odd great pass, those two handle a lot of the lifting between the lines for LAFC and I don’t give the Timbers much of a shot at controlling the middle this Saturday.
I watched/re-watched some highlights to get a fresher handle on what LAFC can deliver on the sharp end of the game and came up with this short list. They have players who can hit from range (see here and here) and, as Houston found out, they can have a decent day on set pieces if you let ‘em – and even there I’m more worried about them playing the ball to the edges of the penalty box scrum than I am about them playing into it. Sticking with that theme of permission, LAFC can fuck up a defense if it lets them attack centrally (St. Louis learned that lesson before Orlando), but the darkest area of concern I saw was how quickly they can get from the midfield stripe to the edges of the 18. I don’t object to the Timbers defending in a mid-block, but they need to watch and learn from what happened to Orlando, because LAFC played around both of their fullbacks over and over and over.
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| Someone read my mind. |
Based on all that, do I like Portland’s chances? Though encouraged by 50+ minutes of last weekend, keeping expectations in check feels like the responsible thing to do. Come up with a defensive scheme, commit to the damn thing, do everything you can to limit the damage, attack smart, with a firm eye toward minimizing risks, etc. Win on the defensive side of the game, basically, and stand on that to win the game. Is that realistic for a team that allows 2.5 goals/game, like the Timbers? Probably not, but I don’t see Portland beating LAFC in a track meet and the risks of that getting out of hand seem higher.
Thus endeth the Scouting Report. Blurbs on the six games I glanced out are below. Again, these are based on watching the highlights, clocking the lineups and final stats, and the regular tracking of results that I do. Listed in the order I watched them, and away we go…
Atlanta United FC 1-3 Columbus Crew
The way Max Arfsten scored Columbus’s third goal one minute after Alexey Miranchuk (who is posting numbers in 2026) made things look interesting by pulling a battling goal back for Atlanta lends support to the theory that Atlanta is simply cursed (maybe Tata Martino monkey-pawed his way to his earlier success). Columbus looked like the comfortable winner everywhere I checked, Wessam Abou Ali scored a sexy brace (the link under "sexy" is worth it), and watching Arfsten made me appreciate the kind of player who senses the right time to give up on a move and try something else.
Current Read on Atlanta
Given the way things have shaken among past opponents (e.g., San Jose and RSL), Atlanta could plausibly put some struggles town to a tough schedule. This back-to-front, top-to-bottom loss blows up that theory. This team’s a punching bad until such time as they figure out how to duck a couple swings and land some blows of their own. Four home games versus two away also suggests a floor that has yet to stop giving.
Current Read on Columbus
Not much better: it took playing the Atlanta team described above to get their first win, the odds point to their problems with scoring coming back against better defenses and, even with four road games already played, the Crew have played one of the softer schedules 2026 has to offer (@ POR, @ SKC, v CHI, v NSH, @ TFC). Good win and good for them, but they need to show a lotta something.
DC United 0-4 FC Dallas
I sensed doom for DC the second I saw the starting lineups – i.e., one of these dime-bags feels lighter than the other – and Dallas only confirmed it by scoring early (and with style from Lucas Farrington) and steadily. Petar Musa bagged a late fourth (of course), Patrickson Delgado doubled Dallas lead with an eye-catching free kick just before the half, etc. Just a lot of piling on and DC murmured its reply with three shots on goal. Disastrous result for them, honestly, but Dallas provided support for my priors about them (see below).
Current Read on DC
Winning this would have been equal parts huge and affirming for DC – the gap between 3-2-1 (alternate reality) and 2-3-1 (reality) yawns wide, especially after getting blown out of the water and kicked a couple times at home by the historically-mid Dallas. They have a couple happy wins back there (1-0 v PHI, 2-1 @ CHI), but they need to resolve the issues with scoring (just four so far) before it becomes chronic.
Current Read on Dallas
Dallas got on my radar by splitting points with Nashville and San Diego (before their wee slippage) and holding LAFC to 0-1 in LA. Maybe a better team gets three more points out of those home games, but it hints at a team that can actually compete with the heavies in the West. I’m putting a pin in the win over DC, even though I suspect it’s an outlier, but I’m watching Dallas as a top 6/7 team in the West. Which, again, squeezes available space for the Timbers.
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| Such a sulky bitch... |
Things hadn’t gone well for Red Bull lately (home loss to Montreal, got jumped into a fucking game at Charlotte before this) and looked even worse for Cincy (two road losses (@ MIN, getting caught in a shit-storm @ NE) and a 0-1 brain-fart at home versus Toronto), so why not see what happened when the schedule mushed them together? The result was the third straight game that saw Cincinnati bleed goals. They did all right by the numbers in this one and arguably kept it close enough to keep interesting until the 90th, but a team can’t give up four goals – particularly ones that came from the third bite on the same move, or just plain getting beat by an eternal potential player like Cade Cowell.
Current Read on Red Bull
Between Cincy’s drunken-wobble form and the three games prior, it’s hard to get this win to track as a big result or a turnaround. That doesn’t make it bad or lucky, by any means, Emil Forsberg scored a brutalist's free kick and generally looks bought in. The starting XI looks all right, even if they're barely old enough to shave, collectively, which may hold them back against better teams, i.e,. not Cincy in Spring 2026. I’m getting a general mid-table vibe from these guys, even in an amorphous Eastern Conference, but that’s still a lot of bad teams between Red Bull and the abyss.
Current Read on Cincinnati
The four losses – two of them freakin’ lopsided – headline the story of Cincy’s 2026, but the wins they’ve struggled to get read like the subheader to me. They beat Montreal barely and crazy late a couple weeks ago – in Cincy! – and beating Atlanta in 2026 comes with a ready rejoinder: who hasn’t? This team is running out of space to punch down. The defense looks disorganized in a way it hasn’t since the horror years, I don’t think Pavel Bucha and Samuel Gidi have the chops to hold down a midfield and, if MLS has its Achilles, I give you Evander. Just a whiff of dysfunction about the whole thing. I used to believe they’d turn it around, but faith’s shakin’…
Toronto FC 3-2 Colorado Rapids
Colorado arguably got a couple fortunate to lucky goals (nice pick on Paxten Aaronson’s free kick, though), Richie Laryea proved both a terror and a goal scorer, Zac Steffen committed what was described to me by a couple people as the latest iteration of his (at least) annual colossal fuck up, but red cards defined this game. But for DOGSO, I wouldn’t have called the second (to TFC’s Raheem Edwards) and the third looked like a pillow-soft second yellow to me (to the Rapids’ Miguel Navarro), which means only the first red (to Jackson Travis) felt like an easy call for me (all red cards should be in here, but who knows?. Also, goals followed red cards to a striking degree – which suggests both teams are a little wobbly, for me.
Current Read on Toronto
I don’t have a map for every Toronto season in front of me right now, but this feels like the once-Canadian heavies best start to a season in some time. For what it’s worth, I’m a fan of their largely intra-league rebuild (a sampling of those players, with Djordje Mihailovic conspicuously absent), even as I appreciate its limits (except the Canadian Cup, which could be in play), and I’ll confess to mild surprise that they signed Josh Sargent to be that guy. They recovered from a shaky start (@ FCD, @ VAN) to pick up seven points against Eastern Conference peers (@ CIN, v RBNY, v CLB). 3-2-1 ain’t bad, especially given the early state of the East.
Current Read on Colorado
You can cut this a couple ways – e.g., if Zac Steffen doesn’t fuck it, maybe they draw it (then again, efficient as Colorado was, they posted dogshit fer shots) – and 4-2-0 would looks better than 3-3-0 with a wobbly road record. I talk about “peer teams” now and then and, for me, that means the teams in your conference that started the season in a similar place. The Rapids are beating up teams like that on the regular (Portland and the Galaxy at home, plus SKC on the road), form that should be good enough to keep them in the top half of the West. I have some doubts – e.g., I don’t trust their attacking players outside of Rafael Navarro and I’m not sold on Aaronson as a No. 10 – but, for now, trends are trends.
Chicago Fire FC 1-0 Nashville SC
Chicago scored on a very, very early goal – clearly before a couple Nashville defenders got their heads in the game – then rode out the result. The fact they did it without Hugo Cuypers stands out a bit, but I’d say the deeper story goes like this: sure, it took a simply gorgeous save by the Fire’s Chris Brady to stand it up (probably shows up in here, if you’re pinched for time) and Sam Surridge missed at least he has scored twice this season, but Chicago shut out a Nashville team so far good for 2.2 goals/game (admittedly built on a couple blowouts, e.g., 4-1 v NE, 3-1 v MIN, 5-0 v ORL) and, per the final numbers, they didn’t give away much.
Current Read on Chicago
There’s a good reason for that: unlike…a few past seasons, the Fire have so far been sturdy in defense, allowing under a goal per game. This is more on paper than on the early results, but they’ve done it against some of 2025’s powerhouses in the East – e.g., Columbus, Philly, now Nashville – and, if you look at those results from another angle, you can make a case that Chicago’s defense is causing those teams (well, most; see Nashville) to under-perform. My fascination with Anton Saletros and Dje D’Avilla grows and I still think Robin Lod was one hell of a signing (think he assisted on the goal and fired a smart one of his own).
Current Read on Nashville
They’re fine, obviously, dropping results on the road happens, they’re still juggling the CCC (good result versus Club America tonight, even if a win would have helped a lot), and, oh yeah, Nashville is first in the East. They started a baby in central midfield (Matthew Corcoran, 20, and good for them!), but I’m putting a pin in the games where they dropped points (@ FCD, @ CHI) because I rate those two.
San Jose Earthquakes 3-0 San Diego FC
Preston Judd’s “pissing dog” goal celebration shocks a little less when you know where it comes from (also, good on the kid from drawing attention to your cause!), but that’s not nearly as shocking as Preston “Fucking” Judd leading the line of one of the West’s pace-setters, and well. San Jose gave San Diego a full-immersion terror experience (seriously, see the numbers) and Judd did a lot of the scaring. He knows how to use his body/pace - see the penalty he drew somewhere in here, i.e,. the one that got Manu Duah sent off – and scored a striker's goal just to prove the point, but the ‘Quakes rolled San Diego in a way I certainly didn’t expect.
Current Read on San Jose
This particular game starred Judd and Niko Tsakiris (scored a brace), but San Jose still has Timo Werner coming online and Ousseni Bouda and that has been enough for them to steadily score goals. They’ve also allowed just one goal so far and, even if I don’t know how they do it, the ‘Quakes allowed just one goal against Seattle, Vancouver and San Diego, aka, some of the West’s best. (That said, the most attackingly impotent team of that group, Seattle, scored that goal). Rolling so far and surprisingly.
Current Read on San Diego
Per the note I slipped into my post-Week-5 review, I get a fragile vibe from San Diego. That only deepens when I look back at the teams they built on which they built that 3-1-2 record – see wins versus Montreal, St. Louis and at SKC, followed by picking up just two points over the next three games (@ FCD, v RSL, and @ SJ). I recognize most of those attacking players from their storming 2025 season, so keeping an eye out for a sophomore slump feels like the smart choice.
And, yeah, that’s it for this one. Just to note it, I watched the highlights from RSL’s 3-1 win over SKC. I get that teams are lining up to kick KC’s ass at this point, but it still looked impressive, clean and confident.
We’ll see where things go from here. And how Portland handles its next challenge in a challenging season. Till I wrap up the latter…
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