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| What do you mean, "my flatulence"? |
At any rate, the current plan is to post an immediate (to semi-immediate) post-game reaction post right after I watch the game, and then to add the scouting report on the Timbers’ opposition for the following week and notes on the current state/vibe of the Western Conference to that same post later in the week. Plugs will go up on Bluesky when the post is complete, but the idea is to create a Weekly post that, when all’s said and done, reviews that past week’s result, previews the next week’s game, and puts both in the context of the Western Conference writ large. And, to cap it with the punchline, I’ll be saving time on all this by tightening up the copy. And god laughed…
About the Game
When a game starts, you often get to see the idealized version of how each team hopes to play the game – and I think both the Portland Timbers and Sporting Kansas City offered decent spins on their better selves to start. While Portland’s first goal didn’t come entirely out of the blue – i.e., it was David Da Costa’s terrorizing of SKC’s right that led to the corner kick – but it’s not every day we have the privilege of seeing a teammate, in this case, David Ayala, bolt into the area and tuck it home. Spilled my damn drink, then and there. Kansas City defenders didn’t see it coming either – defending Da Costa’s cross passed from Shapi Suleymanov to Dejan Joveljic - and that set the tone for a game that ultimately turned into the kind of 4-2 road win that makes a fan feel good about the local team. Right, marching through these goals briskly as possible…
SKC worked the system I flagged in the Scouting Report – i.e., isolate Suleymanov on the right and let him cook – and he got Diego Chara to poke on a maneuver inside. Suleymanov equalized on the ensuing free kick, partially thanks to Ian Smith misjudging the size of his own ass, which froze everyone else and opened a lane for the ball to fluff into the far-side netting. After a mere 10 minutes of the same back and forth, the Timbers retook the lead with a move up the(ir) left again: Ayala stepped into a space between The SKC Jacobs (i.e., Bartlett and Davis), they went straight to “oh, shit” mode, Ayala slipped by them, fired on goal and, honestly, hit Kevin Kelsy with the ball. Ugly, but it fucked John Pulskamp all the way up, 2-1 Timbers. SKC equalized again, and through Suleymanov again, when he got loose on Portland’s left and, after getting past one defender (don’t recall), got stopped cold by the bottom of Antony’s shoe on his shin (gotta watch the full highlights for that). After the ref stared at the monitor for what felt like days, he pointed to the spot, Joveljic stepped up and scored a dirty Panenka. Put a pin in that one. If I had to explain the first half to an alien, I’d run with something like, 45 minutes of basically competent soccer (it knows what it is; don’t even go there), punctuated by catastrophic errors.
