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| A familiar vein. |
Marathon not a sprint, a months-long test that decides whether a term learns to fly, achieves escape velocity or, in some cases, never gets off the ground, etc.
I didn’t like last week’s review, and not just because I felt compelled to top it with the Dante Vanzier/San Jose ‘Quakes thing. In my mind, the real issue was a failure to properly frame or the results – or, better, a failure to elevate them. Anyhoo, if you scroll all the way down to the bottom of that review post (appreciate your patience), that’s where you’ll find the thought process that leads to all the stuff below. Related thereto...
The stuff during and after MLS Week 8 will include: a review of what happened, mostly likely to, the Portland Timbers (they’ve got Seattle this week; start prayin’, people), a review of what FC Cincinnati achieved or just fell shy of, and a review post that looks like the end of last week’s – a list of scores, some comments on the games, and what I think it all means. No, featured games, in other words, because I didn’t think those were working. As long-time readers of this space know, I spend some part of every season figuring out how to fit things together. Or how they fit together. Now, to the meat of this thing...
Overall, I’d call this a decent week, one split between four good games (see below) and six games that, as I put it down there, could be good/interesting, or they could be draws. The drawing season is upon us, after all. For anyone who’s butt puckered, thinking I left out three games, no, I did not. The just strike me as some combination of tragic and unimportant. I call them dogs. In the classic, arrogant villain mold...
That leaves just two more games – i.e., the two featured teams for this space, my hometown teams, Portland and Cincy. I got lucky this week. I only had to watch one game to prep this week’s preview. At least when it came to my two teams...and My Three Sons. Shit. Can’t even remember which kid was my favorite anymore. All I can think of is Fred McMurray looking either confused or disappointed. Time to get to it.
St. Louis CITY FC v FC Cincinnati: On Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
First and foremost, expect a battle. If St. Louis CITY gets Cincy on the back foot, the game becomes 40/60 proposition until they get their steps right again.
Then again, what if that’s the wrong read? What if Cincinnati looks less like teams that got the wobbly jitters early in the season – e.g., Austin FC and...the Portland Timbers – and more like Seattle did last week in a cool, collected and ultimately dominant performance? For what it’s worth, I don’t see the same game unfolding like that for Cincy. They play in St. Louis, for one, but there’s also the matter of Cincy’s attack firing half as often, maybe even half as well.
Concerned as I am that Brenner, Brandon Vazquez and Luciano Acosta have yet to kick out of the pads – if you had Junior Moreno as Cincy’s leading scorer, bingo! – the real trick with surviving St. Louis comes with working through their press and matching their intensity (which, here, means tackle-fouls, aka, tackles that come close enough to fouls as to constitute a new species). As much as said intensity fucked up Portland up – who, for the record, wilt in a gentle breeze – and for all the tragedy it visited on Austin’s Kipp Keller in Week 1, St. Louis’ run to inevitable glory hit the skids the same day they stopped playing weak and or struggling teams. Minnesota beat them the week before Seattle bent them till they broke.
I didn’t like last week’s review, and not just because I felt compelled to top it with the Dante Vanzier/San Jose ‘Quakes thing. In my mind, the real issue was a failure to properly frame or the results – or, better, a failure to elevate them. Anyhoo, if you scroll all the way down to the bottom of that review post (appreciate your patience), that’s where you’ll find the thought process that leads to all the stuff below. Related thereto...
The stuff during and after MLS Week 8 will include: a review of what happened, mostly likely to, the Portland Timbers (they’ve got Seattle this week; start prayin’, people), a review of what FC Cincinnati achieved or just fell shy of, and a review post that looks like the end of last week’s – a list of scores, some comments on the games, and what I think it all means. No, featured games, in other words, because I didn’t think those were working. As long-time readers of this space know, I spend some part of every season figuring out how to fit things together. Or how they fit together. Now, to the meat of this thing...
Overall, I’d call this a decent week, one split between four good games (see below) and six games that, as I put it down there, could be good/interesting, or they could be draws. The drawing season is upon us, after all. For anyone who’s butt puckered, thinking I left out three games, no, I did not. The just strike me as some combination of tragic and unimportant. I call them dogs. In the classic, arrogant villain mold...
That leaves just two more games – i.e., the two featured teams for this space, my hometown teams, Portland and Cincy. I got lucky this week. I only had to watch one game to prep this week’s preview. At least when it came to my two teams...and My Three Sons. Shit. Can’t even remember which kid was my favorite anymore. All I can think of is Fred McMurray looking either confused or disappointed. Time to get to it.
St. Louis CITY FC v FC Cincinnati: On Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
First and foremost, expect a battle. If St. Louis CITY gets Cincy on the back foot, the game becomes 40/60 proposition until they get their steps right again.
Then again, what if that’s the wrong read? What if Cincinnati looks less like teams that got the wobbly jitters early in the season – e.g., Austin FC and...the Portland Timbers – and more like Seattle did last week in a cool, collected and ultimately dominant performance? For what it’s worth, I don’t see the same game unfolding like that for Cincy. They play in St. Louis, for one, but there’s also the matter of Cincy’s attack firing half as often, maybe even half as well.
Concerned as I am that Brenner, Brandon Vazquez and Luciano Acosta have yet to kick out of the pads – if you had Junior Moreno as Cincy’s leading scorer, bingo! – the real trick with surviving St. Louis comes with working through their press and matching their intensity (which, here, means tackle-fouls, aka, tackles that come close enough to fouls as to constitute a new species). As much as said intensity fucked up Portland up – who, for the record, wilt in a gentle breeze – and for all the tragedy it visited on Austin’s Kipp Keller in Week 1, St. Louis’ run to inevitable glory hit the skids the same day they stopped playing weak and or struggling teams. Minnesota beat them the week before Seattle bent them till they broke.
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| Is Fred tingling your nether-regions too? |
This game will feature some tricky matchups – e.g., the bruising and active Joao Klauss versus (pretty sure) Matt Miazga, Brandon Vazquez trying to get the better of Tim Parker, and the question of whether St. Louis tries to play Nikos Giaocchini into the space behind Alvaro Barreal (who should absolutely try to get forward) and how well Yerson Mosquera can cover said space – and that’s only going to make the game better. To float a theory that follows from, between the Vazquez v Parker duel (which Pat Noonan should push Vazquez all the way into) and the way St. Louis lines up, I see things opening up for both Acosta and Brenner – and Barreal too, who I think should cheat as high as he can. I like the idea of fullbacks for outlets, even if who starts on the right shouldn’t push as high as Barreal (Raymon Gaddis seems smart here, but I’m itching to see how Pat Noonan starts there for some reason), but who starts at right back should go some way to sorting out how far the back three will need to cheat left to cover Barreal (assuming he bombs forward).
For what it’s worth, I think a lot of the matchups favor Cincy. St. Louis has talent – I didn’t even mention Eduard Lowen, who acts more as a distributor than a No. 10 (based on what I’ve seen) – but there’s a lot of MLS-slightly-above-average in their regular eleven. Don’t get me wrong: I’d take all the ones I recognize on either team I follow, but the “league-elite” stuff does fall off. Because asking for a win feels like asking for a lot, I’ll feel pretty good about going in on Cincinnati getting at least a point. That said, a St. Louis win wouldn’t surprise me in the least – and Cincy will drop points, even dumb ones (and these wouldn’t be dumb) some time this season – but I’m mostly watching this as a test for how high Cincinnati can raise the intensity.
Moving on to the opposite...
Portland Timbers v Seattle Sounders: My First Colonoscopy Is Coming
The odds of Portland winning this game are low enough that you could probably make a decent pile of money by driving to the nearest sports book and putting down $5 on a Timbers win. That should cover your gas at a minimum.
Sadly, I don’t see that happening, not unless Portland’s starting XI mainlines HGH and Merritt Paulson sells a couple players’ souls – which I would not put past him. Sticking with the front office, anyone else wondering how/why Seattle produced a player like 21-year-old Joshua Atencio – who played a key, two-way role in Seattle’s win over St. Louis – while Portland has burnt several years waiting on players like Marvin Loria, Pablo Bonilla, David Ayala and, despite and to the extent he’s come good since, Cristhian Paredes to make the leap? It only hurts a little more when you see a recruited player like Leo Chu (23-years-old) tear through the early parts of the season through one eye while seeing the Timbers struggle to complete a pass through the other.
For what it’s worth, I think a lot of the matchups favor Cincy. St. Louis has talent – I didn’t even mention Eduard Lowen, who acts more as a distributor than a No. 10 (based on what I’ve seen) – but there’s a lot of MLS-slightly-above-average in their regular eleven. Don’t get me wrong: I’d take all the ones I recognize on either team I follow, but the “league-elite” stuff does fall off. Because asking for a win feels like asking for a lot, I’ll feel pretty good about going in on Cincinnati getting at least a point. That said, a St. Louis win wouldn’t surprise me in the least – and Cincy will drop points, even dumb ones (and these wouldn’t be dumb) some time this season – but I’m mostly watching this as a test for how high Cincinnati can raise the intensity.
Moving on to the opposite...
Portland Timbers v Seattle Sounders: My First Colonoscopy Is Coming
The odds of Portland winning this game are low enough that you could probably make a decent pile of money by driving to the nearest sports book and putting down $5 on a Timbers win. That should cover your gas at a minimum.
Sadly, I don’t see that happening, not unless Portland’s starting XI mainlines HGH and Merritt Paulson sells a couple players’ souls – which I would not put past him. Sticking with the front office, anyone else wondering how/why Seattle produced a player like 21-year-old Joshua Atencio – who played a key, two-way role in Seattle’s win over St. Louis – while Portland has burnt several years waiting on players like Marvin Loria, Pablo Bonilla, David Ayala and, despite and to the extent he’s come good since, Cristhian Paredes to make the leap? It only hurts a little more when you see a recruited player like Leo Chu (23-years-old) tear through the early parts of the season through one eye while seeing the Timbers struggle to complete a pass through the other.
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| My God, he even fits here! |
Yeah, yeah, I saw reports that Sebastian Blanco’s close to coming back, but that first step toward improvement came on literally the same day as the Timbers community caught word of two, maybe even three steps back, i.e., the season-ending injury the angry gods visited on Eryk Williamson. First and foremost, I feel fucking awful for him and fuck the last two years. As much as Blanco can (or, given this season, might?) help, Eryk falling out means still one more fewer options at the position where Portland seems thinnest and...yeah, I’ll say it, oldest, defensive midfield. Moreover, I just looked at the full roster and, my gods, Portland is fucked, fucked I tell you. As much as it pains me to say it, I expect this game to play out like one of those nature shows with leopards and limping wildebeests. You know the ones.
Look, I spent my optimism on trying to see good things in Portland’s loss to Vancouver. While I in no way disavow that post, trying to take that step against a comfortable, confident Seattle team feels like a walk on hot coals. As much as I hate to toot a rival’s horn, and despite the goal-less home draw versus Los Angeles FC, Seattle looks as complete as any team in MLS. Yes, even the Cincinnati team they lost to...and also failed to rattle.
Because I think most Portland fans know Seattle pretty damn well, I wanted to flag some recent changes. I noted Atencio above, but Albert Rusnak has dropped into defensive midfield beside him – not a terrible idea, considering how well he hits a long pass – and that has covered for Joao Paolo’s absence in a way that totally makes sense. Whatever chance Portland had to compete in that area died along with Eryk’s knee. I’ve talked up Portland’s defense over the past couple weeks and, good times, they’ve been handed a sterling chance to prove my faith against a front four built around Cristian Roldan, Nico Lodeiro, Chu and Jordan Morris. Moving on to practical terms...
If Portland’s center backs can’t cover crosses that play the ball behind, Morris will destroy them. If the Timbers’ midfield fails to control the space between the top of the attacking third and the penalty area – the rest of the field be hanged - Lodeiro, Rusnak and Atencio will destroy them. And the Timbers’ defense has to manage all that with Chu stretching the field up their right (i.e., at the space Mosquera leaves behind) and the Flying Roldans doing the same up the left. I can’t stress how bad this could be enough.
At this point, I’m putting all my faith and hope in rivalry game mania to raise Portland’s game high enough to compete....that or the thing about mainlining HGH and selling souls. In all seriousness, I see this game less as hopeless than I see it as a towering challenge. My advice to the team: play like you want to win it, not as if you’re confused by the things around you. Step 1...
That’s it for my personal marquee matchups. I cover the rest of the league below. And I’m pretty high on the categories I came up with this time around. Or just pretty high. But why not both? At any rate...
Prize Ponies – i.e., Games of Genuine Intrigue
Columbus Crew SC v New England Revolution
The Revs have a couple road wins, but they came against crappy teams (they’ve played a soft-ish schedule), but this feels like the best test so far as to how good Columbus will be at home in 2023. Expecting a methodical and controlled game. Should be fun.
Austin FC v Vancouver Whitecaps
No, I get it, weird call. Austin has a losing record, the ‘Caps first two wins came against crap teams (MTL and POR) at home, but...hear me out, both teams are over the playoff line, and a win for either team writes a story of redemption or slow-‘n’-steady improvement, respectively.
Chicago Fire FC v Philadelphia Union
Here’s the thing: Chicago have picked up a couple good wins (@ MIA, and that “at” matters, and v MIN last weekend (I had notes)) and Philly’s coming in, equal parts heroic and exhausted. A Chicago win puts them on 12 points, which should push them into the top of the pack that’s chasing the leaders.
Look, I spent my optimism on trying to see good things in Portland’s loss to Vancouver. While I in no way disavow that post, trying to take that step against a comfortable, confident Seattle team feels like a walk on hot coals. As much as I hate to toot a rival’s horn, and despite the goal-less home draw versus Los Angeles FC, Seattle looks as complete as any team in MLS. Yes, even the Cincinnati team they lost to...and also failed to rattle.
Because I think most Portland fans know Seattle pretty damn well, I wanted to flag some recent changes. I noted Atencio above, but Albert Rusnak has dropped into defensive midfield beside him – not a terrible idea, considering how well he hits a long pass – and that has covered for Joao Paolo’s absence in a way that totally makes sense. Whatever chance Portland had to compete in that area died along with Eryk’s knee. I’ve talked up Portland’s defense over the past couple weeks and, good times, they’ve been handed a sterling chance to prove my faith against a front four built around Cristian Roldan, Nico Lodeiro, Chu and Jordan Morris. Moving on to practical terms...
If Portland’s center backs can’t cover crosses that play the ball behind, Morris will destroy them. If the Timbers’ midfield fails to control the space between the top of the attacking third and the penalty area – the rest of the field be hanged - Lodeiro, Rusnak and Atencio will destroy them. And the Timbers’ defense has to manage all that with Chu stretching the field up their right (i.e., at the space Mosquera leaves behind) and the Flying Roldans doing the same up the left. I can’t stress how bad this could be enough.
At this point, I’m putting all my faith and hope in rivalry game mania to raise Portland’s game high enough to compete....that or the thing about mainlining HGH and selling souls. In all seriousness, I see this game less as hopeless than I see it as a towering challenge. My advice to the team: play like you want to win it, not as if you’re confused by the things around you. Step 1...
That’s it for my personal marquee matchups. I cover the rest of the league below. And I’m pretty high on the categories I came up with this time around. Or just pretty high. But why not both? At any rate...
Prize Ponies – i.e., Games of Genuine Intrigue
Columbus Crew SC v New England Revolution
The Revs have a couple road wins, but they came against crappy teams (they’ve played a soft-ish schedule), but this feels like the best test so far as to how good Columbus will be at home in 2023. Expecting a methodical and controlled game. Should be fun.
Austin FC v Vancouver Whitecaps
No, I get it, weird call. Austin has a losing record, the ‘Caps first two wins came against crap teams (MTL and POR) at home, but...hear me out, both teams are over the playoff line, and a win for either team writes a story of redemption or slow-‘n’-steady improvement, respectively.
Chicago Fire FC v Philadelphia Union
Here’s the thing: Chicago have picked up a couple good wins (@ MIA, and that “at” matters, and v MIN last weekend (I had notes)) and Philly’s coming in, equal parts heroic and exhausted. A Chicago win puts them on 12 points, which should push them into the top of the pack that’s chasing the leaders.
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| No mystery to this animal...purrr... |
[Mystery Animal] – i.e., Could Be Interesting, Could Be a Draw
What I’m getting at is that one result or the other could move the needle for a couple of these teams...but they’re just as likely to end in draws that will suck both teams into the doughy, even gummy, middle the typifies the MLS standings.
Red Bull New York v Houston Dynamo FC
I’m watching for a Houston win, unlikely as it seems (which is why it would matter) and figure everyone’s pulling against the Red Bulls. And a loss for the latter would, in fact, sting.
New York City FC v Nashville SC
Pretty simple: I think this will be a dull game, it will end in a draw, and yet both teams are, and probably will be competitive.
Toronto FC v Atlanta United FC
Toronto has mastered the art of not losing (they’re riding a decidedly uninspiring six game unbeaten streak, 1-0-5, and against meh teams), so I’m mainly interested in seeing whether Atlanta has the chops to pop three points out of them.
FC Dallas v Real Salt Lake
On the one hand, if Dallas can’t win this one...on the other, what if RSL does, especially the week after they finally looked interested in 2023?
Minnesota United FC v Orlando City SC
If I had to put money on it, I’d say Orlando can lose this one without going under the playoff line. And Minnesota will still be...fine. For what it’s worth, though, I see them as a team to genuinely watch. If at this point.
Los Angeles Galaxy v Los Angeles FC
Don’t know about you, but I expect LAFC will justify everything Galaxy supporters’ groups think about Chris Klein. That would only make a Galaxy win funnier (if no more meaningful) and a draw something close to a waste of time.
Dogs – i.e., Bad Teams Make for Bad Games
Charlotte FC v Colorado Rapids
Club de Foot Montreal v DC United
San Jose Earthquakes v Sporting Kansas City
These games involve bad teams and they suck. With apologies to San Jose, who are doing just fine. These are all cases where I can’t imagine a result that would interest me. And there’s a fair chance the number of Dogs will increase as the season continues.
Okay. That’s it. We’ll see what happens on Saturday and talk about it then, or a day or two after.
What I’m getting at is that one result or the other could move the needle for a couple of these teams...but they’re just as likely to end in draws that will suck both teams into the doughy, even gummy, middle the typifies the MLS standings.
Red Bull New York v Houston Dynamo FC
I’m watching for a Houston win, unlikely as it seems (which is why it would matter) and figure everyone’s pulling against the Red Bulls. And a loss for the latter would, in fact, sting.
New York City FC v Nashville SC
Pretty simple: I think this will be a dull game, it will end in a draw, and yet both teams are, and probably will be competitive.
Toronto FC v Atlanta United FC
Toronto has mastered the art of not losing (they’re riding a decidedly uninspiring six game unbeaten streak, 1-0-5, and against meh teams), so I’m mainly interested in seeing whether Atlanta has the chops to pop three points out of them.
FC Dallas v Real Salt Lake
On the one hand, if Dallas can’t win this one...on the other, what if RSL does, especially the week after they finally looked interested in 2023?
Minnesota United FC v Orlando City SC
If I had to put money on it, I’d say Orlando can lose this one without going under the playoff line. And Minnesota will still be...fine. For what it’s worth, though, I see them as a team to genuinely watch. If at this point.
Los Angeles Galaxy v Los Angeles FC
Don’t know about you, but I expect LAFC will justify everything Galaxy supporters’ groups think about Chris Klein. That would only make a Galaxy win funnier (if no more meaningful) and a draw something close to a waste of time.
Dogs – i.e., Bad Teams Make for Bad Games
Charlotte FC v Colorado Rapids
Club de Foot Montreal v DC United
San Jose Earthquakes v Sporting Kansas City
These games involve bad teams and they suck. With apologies to San Jose, who are doing just fine. These are all cases where I can’t imagine a result that would interest me. And there’s a fair chance the number of Dogs will increase as the season continues.
Okay. That’s it. We’ll see what happens on Saturday and talk about it then, or a day or two after.
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