Portland Timbers 4-2 Los Angeles Galaxy: ADDRIAAANNNN!!!!

Best scene. No notes.

The subtitle for the preview I posted for this game referenced Rocky III. Anyone who has seen that movie fully appreciates its merry absurdity, the boxing sequences, in particular, where large men (and Sylvester Stallone), arms rippling with muscles, landed one head-removing blow after another. None of them had any effect, of course, until they did and every single boxer in the movie stood there, arms at his sides as he had no other choice besides taking it. Blocking a punch is and was for weaklings and commies in the Rocky Extended Cinematic Universe, apparently.

The Portland Timbers' rapturous 4-2 win over the Western Conference-leading Los Angeles Galaxy followed a similar script. Between the construction and particular competencies of both teams, I doubt this game could have ended any other way. As predicted in that preview (c’mon, let me have it; I get so many of these wrong), this game was destined to be a free-swinging brawl. The only open question was which team would land the most swings.

Now, because I’m both on the clock and old…

The Very Basics
That didn’t mean the game didn’t start with some tentative jabs, a period where both sides studied the opposition for openings. The Galaxy fired the first best shot somewhere around the 14th minute, but the Timbers fired the first shot to go in. Evander started getting frisky shortly after LA’s shot – an attitude Portland desperately needed on the night – and mere minutes after firing their first real shot, he played a center-to-touchline-to-center give-and-go with Jonathan Rodriguez, who found a pocket and nodded home a whistle-clean opener.

The goal opened the floodgates for Portland who broke toward LA’s goal over and over again between the goal and the halftime whistle. The Galaxy got in a couple, but the primary tension of the game turned on the question of whether the Timbers could actually put one away. The decisive moment fell to - who else? - Evander, who finished a skipping cross with a quick, little hiccup of a shot at the 39th minute. Up 2-0 and with the wind at their backs, everything looked good, sunny and right in Timbersland…and then LA’s Gabriel Pec (a pest and a blight all night) pulled one back for LA just as the (frankly dodgy) ref took in his breath for the halftime whistle.

Another classic, honestly. Even if Terry Bollea's a dick.

The Galaxy came into the second half running, seemingly poised for a reprise of last weekend’s home comeback against LAFC, all the way down to the newly-returned Joseph Paintsil missing an equalizing sitter at the 47th minute…but then the Timbers’ frontline – Evander, Rodriguez, and Felipe Mora - battled their way to the second insurance goal on the night for the Timbers. To be clear, that 3-1 lead had a snowball’s chance in Death Valley, CA circa July 2024 of holding up.

Two more goals came – one by Paintsil for LA, atoning for this earlier (more meaningful) miss (though Pec did the work), the other seeing Mora get his reward for his earlier battles (but, my gods, the inlet pass from Santiago Moreno) – but the shots kept flying, and in both directions, until the Timbers finally got on top of a leg-/travel-weary (and yet well-rotated) Galaxy team around the 85th minute: Rodriguez came within the tip of a glove of chipping the Galaxy’s John McCarthy, while Portland’s Maxime Crepeau made two full-stretch, Matrix-inspired saves after the 75th minute, on top of making a couple more besides (for the record, the Timbers forced McCarthy into eight saves). The highlights for this one are almost certainly well-worth the time and popcorn.

As Phil Neville (from what I heard) promised in his pre-game presser, it played out as all factors suggested it must: the Timbers staying one goal or more ahead of the Galaxy until the final whistle. And so it happened.

As Balzac once said (apparently; I never read him), there goes another summary (and damn me for quoting a Woody Allen movie). Moving on to…

So, Mr. T's, like, 5' 9"?

Talking Points, in the Order I Wrote Them
1) The Man Who Fully Understood the Mission
It is rare to see a player force the ball as consistently and with as much success as Evander did between the Timbers opening goal and the end of the game. All the attacking players chipped in – and, hey, the defense…defended (more later) – but Evander birthed this beautiful baby. It was both good and reassuring to see him throw the team on his back.

2) A Team Who Fully Understood the Mission
For all the flaws in the Timbers’ performance – I’ll flag one big one below – they played this game exactly as the moment demanded: not just like the home team, but with the proper amount of aggression. The effort flagged here and there, but I’d say they literally out-played the Galaxy over 70% of the game. They rose as one and on an occasion that demanded it, and that’s everything a fan can ask for.

3) A Thing No Fan Should Ask For
Something else the Timbers did as one tonight, at least on the defensive side: collective ball-watching. The primary bout hit in the minute or two before the Galaxy scored their goal in first half stoppage time: no less than five players (meant here entirely literally) stepped toward and stared down the player on the ball and ignored all the Galaxy players lurking behind them. That same "squirrel!" fixation bit them on the ass one to two minutes later when the Galaxy worked the ball in behind and slipped Pec in for the goal. They never cleaned this up entirely – also, credit to the Galaxy for their better-than-average capability at exploiting that – but Portland needs to get better at managing those moments in games that get decided by 6-7 moments total. For reference, this one almost certainly had well-North of 30 moments.

4) LA’s Achilles Heel
Happily, the Galaxy’s defense made Portland’s look like AC Milan in their glory years. Specifically, if there was a time a team left another team’s star player – that’s Evander, to be clear – wide-the-fuck-open in the beating heart of Zone 14 like that, it either passed into the realm of fairy tales or (more likely) I blacked it out. Again, that was Evander, MVP dark horse, and multiple Timbers players found him over and over and over 20-22 yards from goal at the top of their own 18. Such fortunate madness…

5) Zuper Hero (and this one’s out of sequence)
Somewhere between Paintsil’s goal and Ayala coming off at the 67th minute (for Eryk Williamson; still relieved that worked out), an in-game graphic popped up that listed the Top 5 players for the game in terms of ground covered. Coming in at 5th place and 4.9 miles: Dario (Fucking) Zuparic. He was the king of timely interventions for the Timbers tonight, particularly in the first half, but seeing a defender crack that list speaks volumes about the man’s dedication to the cause – especially for a player who was (reportedly) looking for the exit in May/June (or thereabouts).

6) Around the League/Context
After a weekend in which everything up to and including the final score (and just…everything against the Colorado Rapids) did the Timbers dirty, Portland caught multiple breaks across the other results tonight, on top of winning a must-win! The only literal exception was Real Salt Lake’s 3-2 win over FC Dallas, but even that had a silver lining (e.g., burying Dallas a couple feet deeper). Every other results – Houston drawing Vancouver in Houston, the Rapids getting stomped by Sporting Kansas City, FC Cincy bricking Minnesota at home, LAFC drawing Austin FC in LA, the Seattle Sounders…hold on, pausing for effect, drawing the San Jose Earthquakes in Seattle (ha, ha, fuck you guys!) – bounced Portland’s way.

All in all, tonight delivered a great result and a good day. Till we meet again, my friends…