Houston Dynamo FC 3-2 Portland Timbers & MLS Week 4 in Review: Of Daggers and DPs

Don't google images of Underoos 

Major League Soccer’s Week 4 handed me a tidy little theme and for that I am thankful. That could be me trying to squeeze a big idea into the Underoos I wore as a wee man, but I’m guessing it will resonate in both directions and in a tone that every MLS fanbase will hear and appreciate it. Unbelievably, that’s it for the preamble. Maybe I should start saying yes to every home improvement project, if only to spare everyone who finds this site from reading an Adrien Brody speech every time they click through to this site. (Anyone else watch The Oscars tonight? If so, please leave the good speeches in the comments; my wife and I yell over the entire show.)

Tuning in, now, to regular programming…

Results That Surprised Me (yeah, I have links for all of these; see below)
Atlanta United FC 3-1 Philadelphia Union (sunny no longer)
Chicago Fire FC 1-2 DC United (I rate DC highly as I.H.O.P. coffee)
FC Dallas 3-3 San Diego FC (weeeeeee!!)
New England Revolution 6-1 FC Cincinnati (Cincy leaping, not stepping, backward?)
Vancouver Whitecaps 6-0 Minnesota United FC (see, goal differential, Minnesota, uncharted)

I call that a good weekend, all in all, at least for anyone who tunes in for spills, chills, thrills and the odd face-plant. Even if the wild start to 2026 doesn’t continue, I doubt you could find even one MLS fan who would have predicted that the bottom three in the East for any week in the MLS 2026 regular season would include (bottom to “top”) Philadelphia, Columbus, and Orlando. The West has at least one surprise – who saw Minnesota looking up at 12 teams at any point this season? – but seeing the teams on either side of Missouri (e.g., SKC and St. Louis) tracks. There is one more team down there in sewers of the West, paddling amid the refuse, one I expected to see and feared to behold at once. Let’s turn to how they arrive at such a lowly station. Our story begins with a man named Philip...

Portland Timbers 1-1 Los Angeles Galaxy: Readings from a Spoiled Sample

This plus a couple geezers. Not great, man.

I saw the question of whether the referee should have awarded the Portland Timbers late in Sunday’s game posed a half dozen times on the Timbers subreddit yesterday and answered with a raging “motherfucker, YES!” It was a massive call to miss, no question – calling advantage on that play does actual violence to the word “advantage” – and, while having two more points wouldn’t have helped Portland in 2024, it would have lifted Portland into the playoffs in 2022, given them homefield advantage for the play-in in 2023.

I get the frustration, in other words, and a very stupid non-call can matter, even in MLS’s largely pointless regular season, but…and you knew this was coming…shouldn’t we all be more concerned with the fact that the Timbers struggled to manage a Los Angeles Galaxy B- team?

About the Game
To start with some positives, seeing Santiago Moreno back in the XI did the soul good – particularly after a couple of his early runs made it look as if he might win the game on his own. The team as a whole looked more comfortable on the ball and decently connected over several periods in the first half, even if all that running and kicking didn’t necessarily translate into anything particularly, or at all, meaningful – i.e., seeing halftime stats like three shots, one on goal for the Timbers, and five (apparently) wayward shots for the Galaxy sounded about right, as did both teams’ piteous xG. Portland even tried to press here and there, which attempt I described in my real-time notes as “looks/works half-ass, but not a total waste.” The fact that came against a veritable “who’s that?” of Galaxy players – e.g., Tucker Lepley, Isaiah Parente, and Harbor Miller (that last one begs the question of what his ancestors did for a living) – always left open the hope that the Timbers were just working out their angles before absolutely destroying the whelps. And, when Felipe Mora deflected a David Da Costa grass-cutter cross from Portland’s right to score Portland's one and only goal, that plan seemed in motion – and with a bonus of giving Timbers fans a glimpse of how Da Costa’s skill set could help the mission. That bright shiny feeling that lasted only until the second half turned into a stalemated slog. I had a sense that LA got the better of the game while the Timbers sucked back into defense as I watched, but still appreciate the confirmation from the official stats page. It’s possible Gabriel Pec hoisted too much weight onto his own shoulders – more below – but he created at least one goal-line scramble and the Galaxy fired some better shots from range between the 60th and 70th minutes. The Timbers defense held…firm-esque through all that pressure, which only made LA's equalizer, from a simple ball over the top to Christian Ramirez (wake up, Zac), more simmeringly infuriating. I just circled back to the highlights, which helpfully reminded me that the Timbers had a couple chances to get back in the lead, and that brings the game and summary back to the non-call on the penalty that started the post.

Los Angeles Galaxy Scouting Report: When Harry Met Anxiety

Mood.

I’d give my left…can’t actually think anything on the left side of my body that I’d willingly part with on this, but I really would like to feel better about this. Starting with the basics…

Los Angeles Galaxy
0-3-0, 0 pts., 1 gf, 7 ga (-6); home 0-2-0, away 0-1-0
Last Results: LLL
Strength/Location of Schedule
v SD (0-2 L); @ VAN (1-2 L); v STL (0-3)

The Portland Timbers host the Galaxy this weekend and I know how LA started this season and remember that they’ve lost at least five players that started MLS Cup 2024 (I say five because Puig counts in spirit). I also know the Timbers are one, narrow home win better than LA.

Disclosure: Prep for this scouting report included about 40 interspersed minutes of the Galaxy’s 0-3 loss versus St. Louis CITY FC last Sunday and, for something that (barely) tracked better, their 1-2 loss at the Vancouver Whitecaps FC the week before. To anyone who wants to go through it: the first half of the loss versus St. Louis felt like the closest analog to what I expect this Sunday. Even if they played a sorta janky XI in that one…then again, Greg Vanney has scrambled the formation every week so far.

The Big Picture
Between the big names lounging on the trainer’s table – e.g., Riqui Puig and Joseph Paintsil are the standouts – and a couple key starters dealt over the offseason – take your pick between Dejan Joveljic (poor fucker’s in KC) and Mark “Not Marky” Delgado – LA, again, aren’t the team that won the Cup last season. Still, Vanney relies on a core of players that includes: Maya Yoshida (surprisingly old), Carlos Garces (fast AF), and right fullback John Nelson (he’s fine) in defense; in midfield, there’s Edwin Cerrillo, with Diego Fagundez stepping in for cover (and playing time?) and he still has Gabriel Pec in or just behind the front line. The only consistent piece is the four-man back-line, with Nelson and the opposite fullback bombing forward. After that, it’s a lot of mix-‘n’-match. New free agent signing (right?) Christian Ramirez looks like the preferred starter and Marco Reus the early choice for creator. Ramirez looks like he’s finding his feet and, as for Reus, his brain’s still there (he made a run so clever against St. Louis it rose to eloquence), his body, whether by age or injury, can only do so much. Fagundez chips in – and I still rate him, crossing and firing from range – but a lot still falls on Pec, a genuine talent, but a young one.

Getting Reacquainted with the Los Angeles Galaxy, MLS's Joy Points Kings

He was just as surprised to be named MVP.

Thumbnail History
The olds whisper legends about how the Los Angeles Galaxy started its storied history as Major League Soccer’s first Buffalo Bills, losing the first three MLS Cup they played. Those early stumbles buried more than one relevant fact – e.g., they won their first Supporters’ Shield in 1998, their first CONCACAF Champions’ Cup in 2000 (not the feat it later became, to be fair) - but the Galaxy put together competitive teams from the jump, even if they didn’t have all that many trophies to show for it. With long-forgotten players like Mauricio Cienfuegos, Kevin Hartman, Danny Califf, Cobi Jones and (the semi-infamous) Carlos Ruiz leading the way, the Galaxy won a Double in 2002 – and came damn close to a triple (they were runners-up in the U.S. Open Cup that year). Some real successes followed – an MLS Cup in 2005, if with a decidedly average team (also, won by one of the flukiest goals in MLS history) and the Shield again in 2009 – but LA spent the rest of the 2000s bumping their asses against the ground as hard and often as any team in MLS. Turns out that playing in a world-famous city doesn’t do a team enough favors when roster rules and small budgets bind every team in the same shackles (ball gag optional). It ultimately took not just the arrival of the Designated Player Rule (2007), but also the subsequent expansion(s) of the same rule (2010 and 2012), for the Galaxy’s natural advantages to kick all the way in. Success wasn’t immediate - even David Beckham, aka, the OG DP, played with the peanut gallery calling him a flop over his first few seasons - but the opening of MLS’s Rube-Goldbergian budget rules set the stage for the five-plus-season period that made the Galaxy the most dominant team in MLS history. Between 2009 and 2014, LA won three MLS Cups, two Supporters’ Shields, and they went to one more MLS Cup besides. They owed a lot of that success to Landon Donovan, aka, the man whose name now graces the league MVP award, but Ireland’s Robbie Keane arguably put those teams over the top (his hit-rate in MLS was nuts). Those two, Beckham, some outstanding defenses, and unsung heroes like midfield back-stop Juninho turned the Galaxy into MLS first unstoppable force since the DC United teams of the late 1990s/early 2000s. Even if both Red Bull New York and the Seattle Sounders would like a word, MLS hasn’t seen a team as reliable as LA’s best teams since. After the 2014 MLS Cup, LA could only squeak into the 2015 post-season as a wild card and they missed the playoffs outright in 2017 (with a tap by the Wooden Spoon thrown in for good measure), 2018, 2020, 2021 and as recently as 2023. The Galaxy signed the biggest players they could to solve the problem – see, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Giovani dos Santos – but they either scrimped on the foundation (my personal theory, fwiw) or just couldn’t put one together, any star can only shine so bright, etc. Maybe that’s what made LA’s comfortable 2024 MLS Cup win feel like a bolt out of the blue. With wingers Joseph Paintsil and Gabriel Pec running on either side of Devan Joveljic (traded after 2024), and the small, shifty No. 10(?) Riqui Puig pulling the strings, the Galaxy raced up the table by, often as not, running up the score. The sturdy yet dynamic midfields of Mark Delgado (also traded), Edwin Cerrillo and Gaston Brugman (also traded; just Brugman) bought those four stars time to be lethal and the rest is, as they say history. And then history threw up all over the fairy tale.

Portland Timbers 4-2 Los Angeles Galaxy: ADDRIAAANNNN!!!!

Best scene. No notes.

The subtitle for the preview I posted for this game referenced Rocky III. Anyone who has seen that movie fully appreciates its merry absurdity, the boxing sequences, in particular, where large men (and Sylvester Stallone), arms rippling with muscles, landed one head-removing blow after another. None of them had any effect, of course, until they did and every single boxer in the movie stood there, arms at his sides as he had no other choice besides taking it. Blocking a punch is and was for weaklings and commies in the Rocky Extended Cinematic Universe, apparently.

The Portland Timbers' rapturous 4-2 win over the Western Conference-leading Los Angeles Galaxy followed a similar script. Between the construction and particular competencies of both teams, I doubt this game could have ended any other way. As predicted in that preview (c’mon, let me have it; I get so many of these wrong), this game was destined to be a free-swinging brawl. The only open question was which team would land the most swings.

Now, because I’m both on the clock and old…

The Very Basics
That didn’t mean the game didn’t start with some tentative jabs, a period where both sides studied the opposition for openings. The Galaxy fired the first best shot somewhere around the 14th minute, but the Timbers fired the first shot to go in. Evander started getting frisky shortly after LA’s shot – an attitude Portland desperately needed on the night – and mere minutes after firing their first real shot, he played a center-to-touchline-to-center give-and-go with Jonathan Rodriguez, who found a pocket and nodded home a whistle-clean opener.

Los Angeles Galaxy 3-2 Portland Timbers: The Good, the Bad, That Pet You Lost When You Were 10

R.I.P.

I’m choosing to read last night’s 2-3 loss at the Los Angeles Galaxy through a very particular lens. The Portland Timbers’ performance was…let’s go with fell short of stirring. A lot of I had to do with energy or just vibes, generally - i.e., if had one 100 random soccer fans sit through that game, none of them knowing which team had played the Wednesday before, and asked at the end who did, I’m guessing north of 70 would have pointed to the Timbers. Moreover, the fact the Galaxy started all the same forward players (i.e., the front six) for nearly the whole game makes that mythical tally looks 50% worse.

So, yeah, a front six on half-a-week’s rest put three goals past James Pantemis and, stats be damned, repeatedly got goal side of Portland’s defenders and midfielders. That they strayed offside about half the time saved the Timbers from a runaway. Or did it? The game ended with xG at 1.9 for LA and 1.7 for the Timbers, after all…I’m still deciding how much that tracks. [UPDATE: those numbers have been updated (or I read 'em wrong/tipsy): LA remains on 1.9, but Portland ended with 2.0.] Moving on…

A Summary
Portland came out looking fully prepared to go toe-to-toe at the Galaxy – and, for the first 20 minutes, that worked(!). Both teams fired warning shots over the first ten minutes, but, as the clocked ticked upward, the heavier fire came from LA’s direction. The Timbers snatched chances here and there – e.g., Santiago Moreno with a smart scoop from range at the 30th, Evander crashing the near post ~sixteen minutes later (did both make the highlights?) – but the Galaxy got a hold of the passing lanes starting around the 25th minute and the questions got heavier for the Timbers defense from there, particularly through Riqui Puig, Mark Delgado and Gabriel Pec prowling up the right.

Not coincidentally, and yet controversially, LA’s breakthrough came up the same side when Joseph Paintsil slipped behind a Timbers’ high line that wantonly flirted with danger and, together, he and Pec outran the Timbers backline for the depressingly easy goal that put the Galaxy up 1-0. If you mosey over to the Timbers subreddit, you’ll find a couple threads seething about Paintsil being offside and, having reviewed the video, I dissent (and, no, you won’t change my mind, not without really impressive graphics). More to the point, much like your gerbil/goldish/hermit crab, etc. that died when you were 10, maybe even under mysterious circumstances, that goal isn’t coming back. The pertinent question was how the Timbers would respond.