Portland v. Vancouver: A Timely Experiment (that should end right now).

Not pictured: Blas Perez running in to kick these kids.

Well, that was fun, yeah? Seeing a collection of (metaphorical) toddlers run out against a bunch of (metaphorical) first-teamers. (OK, yes, low blow. Vancouver Whitecaps fans, you have my apologies. And yet...)

Immediately after I told the guy sitting next to me something to the effect that the Portland Timbers were doing pretty well in terms of keeping Vancouver's first team off the scoreboard? Of course they scored. Of course...a better fan would have gone piss immediately after to insure that the Timbers would have scored in his absence. I guess I'm not that fan, but, then again, scoring wasn't really on the cards for the Portland Timbers tonight, was it?

In case it's not clear by now, the Portland Timbers trotted out a clear B-Team tonight, to play against....yep, that's pretty much the Vancouver Whitecaps starting eleven. Well, give or take on Vancouver's starting eleven, but, still, they had more of their A-team in the game than Portland did, and by a country mile. Any Timbers fans losing his/her mind over this....well, first of all, he/she shouldn't. Not even the guy on the MAX who wondered out loud to his girlfriend how a team that won MLS Cup only a few months ago could lose at home in their preseason. He seemed especially disappointed that this happened right after beating Minnesota United so comprehensively just a few nights ago? It's not that shocking, is it? (And, to his credit, the same guy acknowledged shortly thereafter that Portland started virtually none of their, uh, starters, so...again, he was surprised, why?).

Speaking for myself, I didn't know what to expect when I showed up tonight – and that's mostly down to willful ignorance of Portland's staring eleven on any given match day. With that in mind, any and all can paint me all colors of giddy about what I watched out there tonight – e.g., our depth against (most of) an MLS club that many people expect to do pretty well in 2016. For this lukewarm mess of a team to lose just 2-0 to a club that scored once with a new striker (left wide-open on the back post) and again with one of last year's starters? Well, I wouldn't say I learned a ton about what to expect from the Timbers as a team this year. What I did learn, however, was a thing or two about Portland's depth, plus a likely sub here, maybe a starter there. And that's what the rest of this will be about. Ready, steady...go!

Portland v. Seattle: On a Quiet Fight Before the Dawn

Sort of a new aspiration for tone and feel...ah....

So I lied. Posting here again. I think there's enough Portland Timbers content on PTFCollective already that adding another stick would be just another stick on the big, beautiful bonfire, thereby abetting overkill. Call this a little eddy in the larger stream of content...visit when you want to sit a while with your thoughts on the Timbers. Shh...listen to the water, let it flow around you. Ignore the couple aggressively dry-humping a little ways upstream and just...shh...think they're almost done...wow. I'm right here. It's not like I'm not talking...

Speaking of dry humping, the Major League Soccer preseason rolled on last night, with the Timbers squaring off in the early evening yesterday against their less-fashionable, less-adored northern neighbors, the Seattle Sounders. The result followed the pattern from last season – e.g., Seattle struck first, but the Timbers won when it mattered...even blew the occasional fuse (There are those who say that Portland fans will never let Sounders fans forget that Portland won MLS Cup before they did; I'll be the guy forever rubbing in the epic, embarrassing meltdown in the U.S. Open Cup, July 2015).

This being everyone's preseason, I have only short notes on this one, no grand narrative, etc.

Portland Timbers: First Team 1, Second Team 1, Sporting KC 0

I see an....NLS Cup in your future!

What did I learn from tonight's super-early preseason clash between the Portland Timbers and Sporting Kansas City? For starters, I learned that “Fochive” is pronounced “Fo-sheev-ay.” Also, Peay is “pay.” Who knew, right?

Overall, though, I’m encouraged. 2-0 to Portland, and all that. Then again, if someone told me I’m beautiful, I would agree that, yes, I am beautiful. And do go on. (As in, people hear what they want to hear, and see what agrees with their hopes and dreams.) But, no, the wiser course is to slow down, to cool the collective jets, drop the nuts into some ice water and generally view these first 90 minutes of a sweet, ideally strike-free 2015 with the most powerfully clear-eyed prescription known to man.

In all honesty, I don’t have much for notes. The video feed hardly helped, what with the way it looked like Madden circa 2002. Still, I saw well enough to believe that Portland played a pretty solid, energetic game for this year’s first preseason outing. Splitting entire teams between 45-minute halves certainly helps with the energy, but that was smarter, cohesion-wise, than Sporting’s Tale of Three Halves. Which, like, defies physics. Or just science.

Good omens abound, though, when you think about it. The Timbers defended with proactive soccer on the way to keeping the sheets clean. And, holy shit, Portland got a penalty kick? If that’s not Mama Albighetti smiling on the Timbers’ 2015, I don’t know what is!

Anyway, the few notes I have, starting with Portland:

 Portland Notes

1) The first team defense looked amazing enough to foster delusion. Seriously, I’m so sold on the central trio of Ben Zemanski sitting in front of Norberto Paparatto and Nat Borchers that I’m seized by visions of clean sheets in late September, when the club is driving for Glory. Admittedly, I missed 10 minutes of the second half, but I didn’t see KC make much of a dent outside that errand-based blackout. While I’m by no means saying Liam Ridgewell won’t come back to start besides Borchers, I’m comfortable with Zemanski on top of two solid centerbacks of any name and combination when the club hopes to kill off games.

1a) Overall, Paparatto looked good. Borchers looked better. Just really ahead of everything. Here’s to praying to multiple gods, if that's what it takes, that that continues.

2) And, btw, swap in Ridgewell for Paparatto and I can’t help but think that the Timbers fielded the club’s starting eleven during the first half, pending Diego Valeri's and Will Johnson's return. More on this later…

3) Zemanski’s game is shockingly simple. So, so simple. Too simple?

4) I wouldn’t mind seeing Jack Jewsbury return to a central midfield role. Nice pass on the near goal in the second half through Jeanderson, into Urruti, etc. I think we’re deep enough at right back to think differently about what Jack can do, even if it limits his minutes…hmm…

Sporting Kansas City Notes

1) The Paolo Nagamura and Benny Feilhaber central midfield is pretty damn stacked. That’s a serious yin-yang there, people.

1a) I’d trade some crazy shit to land Feilhaber.

2) A 16-year-old kid took the field for KC tonight. He’s not even first team as it turns out, but his name is Felipe Hernandez. Now, physically/aesthetically, the kid looked every inch the pro. Problem was, he never put a ball in front of a player, at least not that I saw. It was like he always passed the ball to where his target stood when he made the pass. He’ll be fun to watch, that one, assuming he figures out how to lead players. I did, however, like the Feilhaber-esque way he’s able to keep the ball in front of him and at his feet while looking for the pass.

3) I didn’t catch that he was out there till he came off, but I do want to see more of Krisztian Nemeth, the Hungarian guy.

Anyway, nice win. I missed the goddamn free kick by Michael Nanchoff. Tell me it was a thing of beauty, something pretty enough to pair with the Sugar Plum Fairy in Swan Lake…

All for now.