NYCFC Pummels Colorado: A Time to Adjust Expectations?

Counts just the same...just not a good look...

[Each week I (try to) watch three full, 90-minute games. And I write ‘em up. Part 1 of 3, for Major League Soccer’s Week 21.]

Why This Game? I wanted New York City FC’s attack measured against the Colorado Rapids’ league-best defense because, per reports and rumors, NYCFC has a bad enough defense that they need the offense to matter. And, going the other way, could the Rapids rack up the goals against NYCFC’s allegedly “shaky D”?

On the Result
Did not see that coming. I knew NYCFC’s offense had the mirror-image rep to contrast with their defense, but to drag the Rapids’ defensive record back into the pack with a 5-1 win? The first two goals deserve more focus, and not just because they came before Michael Azira got absolutely, totally justifiably sent off (we’re talking a text-book-stupid second yellow), but because their manner. NYCFC pushed players into the attack in a way that meant getting the ball past the first guy only meant you had to deal with the second guy, like, right away. Think World War I, only with success. They kept piling on after Azira came off and, before long, the bottom of the field dropped off on the Rapids’ side...sorta like watching Inversion. (Is that the title of that Leonardo DiCaprio joint, the one that choked on its own exposition? Crap, no, it's title Inception. Still didn't like it; goddamn gimmicks).  The thing that really struck me is that I’ve seen Colorado work an outlet ball pretty reliably in the past – when they don’t play out of the back (where they usually do all right), they’ll bomb long balls to Kevin Doyle, or maybe Marlon Hairston. They couldn’t find either player Saturday, and they struggled mightily as a result. Also, I think I saw a lot of New York’s attack go through gap between Mikeil Williams and Jared Jeffrey…often enough to wonder what the hell happened to Bobby Burling (he was on the bench, so OK, answered that one….partially). I think the real point of curiosity came with what happens if Colorado falls behind – by more than two goals, especially.

MLS Week 19: The Half-Rack (e.g 12 Thoughts/New Feature)

Still undecided. That's half a half of whatever, goddammit!

Well, I didn't promise promise I'd stay away from Major League Soccer. In fact, I think I've landed on something more satisfying than damn, dirty power rankings (not least because, as argued in the Week 18/Season End Rankings, I don't anticipate much meaningful change in terms of how MLS's clubs stack up against one another till the end of the season).

Time constraints being what they are, I sat through only condensed versions of every game in MLS for Week 19 (well, except Vancouver v. Sporting KC, which isn’t up, condensed-style, at time of writing). It looked like a great week based on those snippets, lots of goals, lots of bad defending, some wacky refereeing – i.e. one's daily diet of madness, basically. And huzzah!

Because branding is everything in these teenage years of the 21st century, I hereby introduce the Conifers & Citrus "Half-Rack": the 12 comments that came to me as I watched, in this case, all those condensed games. They're not talking points, even if as I view each of them as segues to larger conversations, and, ideally, I'll stray away from flagging the obvious. Even as I will sometimes fail, as when I point out that, holy shit, is that Sebastian Giovinco kid really goddamn good.

Last part to the preamble: was "half-rack" an East Coast or West Coast term? Not trying to start another rap war, but I spent enough time on both coasts, and have put enough mileage on my brain, that I can’t remember where I lived when friends (and, yes, family) asked me to "pick up a half-rack" on the way to this or that event, or when they just asked for a half-case.

At any rate, 12 Points, Comments, Ideas...Things unfold below...starting with a quick hit on my beloved, yet misbehaving, Portland Timbers.

MLS Week 17 Rankings: Sorting Through the...INCOMING!!!

Your newest member of the Sonoma County Sol!

I had this Major League Soccer at the Half Rankings concept all worked out. It had a couple of attendant challenges: for one, not every MLS club has played 17 games; some have less, some have more (along with the potential for sitting idly later in the season as other clubs play their cards in the hand well; see, the Los Angeles Galaxy and DC United). Giving a high-five to a milestone as it passed all of us by had some appeal, as well. A big part of attraction to that idea, though, was the sheer amount of goddamn data spit out by the last two weeks.

By all that's unholy...soccer. So much...soccer. The last week alone featured 16 regular season games, which spelled two-game weeks for all but 7 MLS clubs (yeah, that odd number tells me I overlooked a dead rat in the data). The Saturday and Sunday before that: more games. The freakin' week before that: U.S. Open Cup. For goddamn everybody. With that much soccer on offer, I figured some enterprising coaches would send out heavies to scout soccer-friendly bars across the country in search of able-bodied, and nearly-able-bodied males, recruiting the ones they could convince, and shanghaiing the rest as the market dictated.

The situation argued for a wider focus, basically, and what's more big picture than a big, Vaseline-lensed looked back at the first half of the 2015 season? Frame it as a projection, maybe, a way of arguing that this one club that no one would dare project in the playoffs, yeah, I'm sayin’' it. Going. Maybe even all the way. In a crazy league this one, I mean, who can say, really? Right?

And then I wrote it all down and realized that my "crazy" projections for the post season look a-whole-goddamn-lot like the current standings. The only change – literally, the only difference? – I have the San Jose Earthquakes going into the post-season over FC Dallas. So, there's that.

Still, can we all agree that the following three coaches are now circling The MLS Musical Chair Hot Seat: the Chicago Fire's Frank Yallop; the Colorado Rapids' Pablo Mastroeni; and the Philadelphia Union's Jim Curtin. My money's on Pablo. And I give him...mid-August. He.s gone by mid-August. OK, enough of that...

OK, onto the Methods section. Just two games watched in full this past weekend (Damn my obligations! And, OK yes, sometimes entirely natural wish to mix up my weekends a little!)

Real Salt Lake v. Columbus Crew SC
Portland Timbers v. Seattle Sounders (HA! Ha ha ha ha! Whoo...still enjoying that one)

Quickly, just prior to the ranking, I think I finally have clear explanations for two numbers beneath each team's name. If it's unclear to anyone, do speak up. And, full disclosure, I may or may not have watched the 20-minute mini-games for Week 16 1/2, Hogwarts Week in MLS (e.g. the June 24 set of games)...long may Hogwarts Week precede Rivalry Week.

OK, rankings time. Stack 'em up!