MLS Conference Semifinals: An Assessment at the Break

Inadequate.

As much as I like the playoffs better (and with how much more I’d like with the Portland Timbers still in it now officially noted), they don’t provide much space for analysis. A bunch of things happen over each 90-minute stretch (plus stoppage time), generally/interchangeably the same kinds of things that happen over 90-minute stretches (plus stoppage time) throughout the regular season, but there’s not a hell of a lot to say about coughing up three goals in 20 minutes than, “well, guess they’ll have to score four goals next Sunday.”

That’s FC Dallas’ situation, of course, after having a team-wide episode of “The Vapors” against the Seattle Sounders to start the second half. Sure, you can explore what went wrong on each of the goals (rough night for Maynor Figueroa, but the central defense wasn’t central on Seattle’s first two), but even if Dallas can fix those glitches on the return leg, it’s likely to have the same effect as pouring a glass of water on the ashes of your house after it burned down. I’m not a Dallas fan, so I’m left imagining how slowly time passed for them as Nicolas Lodeiro’s long run outside their defense reached its inevitable, agonizing climax. Personally, I had enough time for a sip of beer on either side of thinking “he’s not gonna miss that.”

That’s a huge win for Seattle, obviously, and a huge hole for Dallas. The only question left is, can Dallas make up the scorched ground? Not based on what they gave last night. Seattle held the edge all night, for one, but the blunter reality came with how much trouble Dallas had going forward. To borrow a term from MLSSoccer.com’s Matt Doyle, Dallas is missing their unicorn, Mauro Diaz. Things didn’t look great when Mauro Diaz went down or anything, but his absence didn’t kill them all on its own. Now, however, when they need to find a way forward and a minimum of three times, too? No better time for magical beasts.

Portland Timbers Cash Out in Commerce City

Damn poppies are almost shooting sarin gas by now...

It was always going to be about which team could swipe the till. A smash ‘n’ grab. The Portland Timbers’ Diego Valeri went close a couple times in the first half, real close once, but he never broke through to score. The Colorado Rapids did, though, and on one of Portland’s first real breakdown of the game. Marlon Hairston slipped past Vytas Andriuskevicius (is that right? again, didn’t look it up!), then pinched between the sadly hesitant Scylla (uh…Ned Grababovoy) and Charybdis (Diego Chara; I’ve always been partial to Charybdis), to gallop toward goal close to the end-line; he found Sebastian LeToux wide open near the spot, which left only wrong-footing Jake Gleeson with a reverse to the back post. Then the Rapids set up (more) shop, then Portland died slowly, so slowly…1-0 loss, man. Dammit. There's nothing worse than playing a team that can defend, but can't score.

What a boring game. You're lousy hosts Colorado (No hors d'ouerves?) And yet, it was consequential. Colorado got all three points, plus a playoff berth. The Timbers got nothing. Well, I guess they got a couple things: the flutter of hope in the eye-blink midst of Valeri’s “infiltrator” slips behind enemy lines; also, the question of whether Portland’s most effective attacking option really was having Valeri feed off Fanendo Adi’s knock-downs/scraps lingers, and it should. With the surer options queuing up for the doctor's office, the line-up looked limited from the off. Playing Grabavoy and Nagbe on the wings meant Portland had no wings (which goes some way to explaining the attacking tactics, but it wasn’t a lot, and it isn’t nearly enough, not while running down an ever-narrowing stretch. And now there are just six power-ups (fine, points) left for the Timbers to put toward getting over that sweet, silky red velvet rope….and, dude, if Rihanna’s in there, I’m totally asking for a selfie. My duck face is sick.

There’s not a lot to say about this loss. To get the obvious out of the way, yes, Portland sucks on the road. I've hit Valeri's moments above (for twas all we had) and, after him, Grabavoy was the only player who threatened (feebly), and once should have threatened (where the hell was Diego Chara looking in the 56th minute?) Colorado’s goal. After that, all the things that seemed good relied on assists from Colorado to make it happen. For instance, before anyone argues that the defense looked good today, just pause and think how often the Rapids menaced the Timbers goal outside their one, shining moment. Before I lose that thought, let me just say that, after the past few games, it’s important to note that I don’t think either Liam Ridgewell or Steven Taylor were responsible for that goal. I’m not sure Alvas Powell was either, even though LeToux was probably his man. Look, shit happens fast. Besides, Powell had a great game besides.

NYCFC Pummels Colorado: A Time to Adjust Expectations?

Counts just the same...just not a good look...

[Each week I (try to) watch three full, 90-minute games. And I write ‘em up. Part 1 of 3, for Major League Soccer’s Week 21.]

Why This Game? I wanted New York City FC’s attack measured against the Colorado Rapids’ league-best defense because, per reports and rumors, NYCFC has a bad enough defense that they need the offense to matter. And, going the other way, could the Rapids rack up the goals against NYCFC’s allegedly “shaky D”?

On the Result
Did not see that coming. I knew NYCFC’s offense had the mirror-image rep to contrast with their defense, but to drag the Rapids’ defensive record back into the pack with a 5-1 win? The first two goals deserve more focus, and not just because they came before Michael Azira got absolutely, totally justifiably sent off (we’re talking a text-book-stupid second yellow), but because their manner. NYCFC pushed players into the attack in a way that meant getting the ball past the first guy only meant you had to deal with the second guy, like, right away. Think World War I, only with success. They kept piling on after Azira came off and, before long, the bottom of the field dropped off on the Rapids’ side...sorta like watching Inversion. (Is that the title of that Leonardo DiCaprio joint, the one that choked on its own exposition? Crap, no, it's title Inception. Still didn't like it; goddamn gimmicks).  The thing that really struck me is that I’ve seen Colorado work an outlet ball pretty reliably in the past – when they don’t play out of the back (where they usually do all right), they’ll bomb long balls to Kevin Doyle, or maybe Marlon Hairston. They couldn’t find either player Saturday, and they struggled mightily as a result. Also, I think I saw a lot of New York’s attack go through gap between Mikeil Williams and Jared Jeffrey…often enough to wonder what the hell happened to Bobby Burling (he was on the bench, so OK, answered that one….partially). I think the real point of curiosity came with what happens if Colorado falls behind – by more than two goals, especially.

Match Notes: Colorado Rapids v. Columbus Crew SC

Why I Watched It:

Because, as a blogger, I understand how important it is to have someone paying attention to what you’re doing. Here's to you, Columbus Crew SC. And, cheers, the Colorado Rapids.

Overall:
It was more fun than Seattle v. LA, certainly, sort of the middleweight bout to their heavyweight affair: more movement, more foot-work, more punches thrown. Probably less confidence out there, too, which can be a useful spur. When the play-by-play guy (don't care about his name) said to Marcelo Balboa that this game had "0-0 written all over it," I laughed right along with 'Celo. Especially after he said that immediately after Columbus literally hit the crossbar twice inside a second. This was a damned even affair, all in all, even if one weighted with prior thoughts and assumptions about both teams, among them: did Columbus finally come out on top of the offense-v.-defense argument (as in, they won) because Colorado's sorry offense couldn't push their iffy defense hard enough? (Probably.) What does it mean that the Rapids kept pressing and nearly equalized to the very end? (That Columbus' defense is probably as bad as it seems.) And this means Columbus can score against anyone, right? (Going with "yes" on this one.) All in all, count this a good, necessary win for Columbus. As for Colorado...I'm sensing a theme.

Notes on Colorado
- Axel Sjoberg, good as he is, got worked hard enough by Kei Kamara tonight to pick up a couple yellas. More below.
- This will sound shitty, but still: in spite of making two outstanding saves last night, I think Clint Irwin is shaky, both as a shot-stopper and on the distribution end of things. He has a very good defense in front of him. They can do better. I'm pretty sure.
- Jared Watts did very well tonight. He didn't carry the game to Columbus, but he acquitted himself very well as an omnipresent #8 (maybe; #6?), and dished the ball well and safely. Yeah, yeah, I rip Timbers players for the same, but Watts is a stand-in...
- ...though, curiously, with two of the regulars present and accounted for: both Marcelo Sarvas and Sam Cronin started….about where Watts did. There's a line-up question in there that may or may not address the Rapids' iffy offense.
- This team is a mystery, full stop. Whatever my misgivings, the team Pablo Mastroeni trotted out worked well and his substitutions made enough sense, and the Rapids pushed all the way to the final whistle – as in, really pushed. Their players did smart things in the attack, and...well, it just didn't work out, did it? So...beats me...

Notes on Columbus
- The way they insist on playing out of the back is just vanity at this point. Much more on Tuesday.
- Kamara is such a pain in the ass, that he got a good, if rookie, defender sent off. Damn.
- Tony Tchani was an absolute fucking beast tonight. He fed Kamara for the first goal, played the ball to Christian Jimenez that set up Crew SC's second, while also holding down all kinds of shit defensively all over the field. Am I saying heir apparent to Kyle Beckerman? Yes, I am. Dammit! I need a bigger platform for this...
- I like that they did the rotation thing, putting in Kristinn Steindorsson in order to spell Justin Meram. MLS has a long, dumb season. A big part of getting your best players on the field at the End Times comes with knowing who's your best player. So, test that shit.
- And give Federico Higuain a turn. He looks old as my dad's dad.
- Wil Trapp is faster than I thought. He's another one to watch...just, y’know, glance outside Germany, Jurgen.
- OK, with Tchani and Trapp shielding the back four, how is Columbus this dodgy defensively?