Phoenix Rising 1-0 Portland Timbers: From Paraguay, WIth Some Confusion

Not in Paraguay...

Knowing that was Phoenix Rising’s first team out there tonight was the only thing that kept me from turning off that game at the half and donating my eyes to science ahead of schedule. (Thereby teaching the next generation how astigmatism; I am a hero.) A wiser man would have followed the instinct, but some online trickster, a Windy City Loki, lured me all the way through all 95 execrable minutes of that nightmare. I felt less frustration watching my toddler trying to tie her shoes the first time around.

Now (speaking of!), put yourself in Jorge Moreira’s shoes. Imagine flying in from Argentina (or Paraguay; does it matter in this case) for your first game of the rest of at least 40, and watching those first 45 minutes. Speaking for myself, I would have called my agent immediately and refused to get on that…disgusting field. The first 38 minutes of the Portland Timbers' 0-1 loss to Phoenix Rising (you lost to that awful slogan as well! Shame!) was nothing more or less than a crime against competence and good taste, an assault to eyeballs, spirit and aesthetics.

Fortunately, the result didn’t matter. Moreover, it’s not Moreira lit it up out there. He had a fauxssist (TM….don't touch it, it's mine!!) on what looked like Cristhian Paredes game-opening goal, but it took me less time to figure out Andy Polo was offside than the ref. (Serious question: what’s with the dramatic pauses? Can we get a little more of “get your ass over here and rubber-stamp the fact he was off” and get on with the goddamn game with VAR?) Outside that shining moment and one particularly cool, calm moment when he shepherded a ball out of a tricky situation with two dudes on his shoulder, you would have thought Moreira was a trialist based on tonight, what with all the USL talent (named Junior Flemmings) making him look like something less than a threat to Zarek Valentin’s one and only day job.

I’m not worried about Moreira (yet…nah, just messin’). This was his first game, new league, new country, that’s just a lot to take in. Also, a good USL team is nothing to sniff at. For instance, after watching Solomon Asante play a full 90, and thinking about all those MLS teams in search of a winger…well, it makes you wonder, if nothing else. (Then again, seriously, will a time come when the influx of talent to North America gathers enough steam that a player like Asante will go to USL as a stepping stone to MLS?)

Given that this game meant less than nothing (aka, Saturday, against the New York Red Bulls 1.5), I don’t want to spend too much time on it. I’ll start with some general thoughts about each of the “Three Units” (e.g., 0-38, 38-79, 79-90), then go through what I’ve seen from the more marginal/contingent crowd on the Timbers line-up. In other words, my comments on Jeff Attinella, Diego Valeri, Diego Chara, Sebastian Blanco, Larrys Mabiala, Jorge Villafana, and even Zarek Valentin, Dairon Asprilla, and Andres Flores start and end with “stay healthy, fellas!” Yes, even if they're not all starters. Just to note it, did Flores pull the “single white female” thing on Lawrence Olum (e.g., unlikely replacement on at least one level that everyone seems to buy)? I’ll get to (marginal) personnel later; let’s talk about each of tonight’s shift.

Game State! 0-38
Was this line-up sent out to test how bad things could get between injuries and Giovanni Savarese having a 25th Amendment-level breakdown? It somehow got worse after 10 minutes in: the midfield/defense scheme was gappy as hell, letting in one line-breaking pass after another, and there was no building anywhere and the breakdown started at the back. To crap on/prop up one guy, I will believe that Renzo Zambrano can’t be that bad until he proves me wrong, but that was one of the worst 38 minutes I’ve seen from any player this side of getting injured in the first five minutes. Also, see notes on David Guzman below. Asprilla and Valeri were the bright spots, with flashes from Jeremy Ebobisse and Villafana.

Game State! 38-76
Things definitely improved, if with the deepening insecurity that the Timbers owe everything to Chara. Seriously, though, Chara and Flores, between them, can stabilize the space in front of the defense, and in a way that Guzman and Zambrano clearly cannot; again, more later. Lucas Melano continues to look more assured, and that can only help/push the right people. Overall, the Timbers’ best moments came with this group – e.g., Asprilla and Guzman both almost scoring with the same move, or Polo firing his shot off the post – even though the only time Portland “bulged the net” happened at the 80th minute.

Game State! 76-90
Moreira had grown into the game by this point, and his work with Polo made the Timbers right dangerous in flashes. Finally, and of note, Cristhian Paredes and Eryk Williamson looked leagues better than Guzman/Zambrano…and I don’t put that on Zambrano. This was when Polo’s goal looked to have won the game, but, yeah, there’s no avoiding the reality that Portland lost this one 0-1, and with a key replacement part, aka, Claude Dielna, getting worked by a guy who couldn’t cut it with the Columbus Crew SC (and you don’t know how tempted I was to use The Cutting Crew for the image).

Notes on all the players lace through all the above, but it’s time to shape them into judgments. Might as well start with the guy I’m picking on hardest…no, not Zambrano…

David Guzman
To stick up for him, I don’t think he works without Chara. He’s a passing player who would work better with a pure No. 6, but he's also just not that high-end in any other part of the game. He’s in limbo in a lot of ways, unable to usurp play-making from Valeri and Blanco, and even worse on the defensive side. With respect, I’d try to trade him when the team can.

Jeremy Ebobisse
He just reads second forward to me, a guy who plays off a guy (aka, a luxury). If Portland can get him into a two-forward set-up, I think they’ve got a good player on their hands. And he’s good at combination play – believe me, I’m not giving up on Ebobisse, but, in terms of short-term options?

Lucas Melano
I am a long-time hater, and I’m willing to give Melano a run. Not with Ebobisse (barring some attacking scheme I haven’t yet dreamed of), but I think the team has to go between one or the other and…I just typed that and I don’t believe it. Shit. I don't know who I'd start, dot, dot, dot.

Tomas Conechny
He’s just young. He was better against the Red Bulls, and I think he’d be better with more first-teamers on the field, but he just needs time…and may never get there.

Julio Cascante…
…has evolved to my biggest doubt about this team. He’s not playing out of the back well, he’s worse one-on-one than he was last season, his misreading situations, etc. It’s like he’s standing three feet out of his skin. I haven’t seen a player that uncomfortable in a while. It's like he knows he's competing for a spot. Therapy?

Claude Dielna
It depends on how many of his slips could be solved by wearing the right-sized cleats. He has a great presence and good instincts (and hella good tackle on a sure goal by Flemmings), but seeing him get just…burned by Jahn like that didn’t inspire confidence.

Cristhian Paredes
He’s only down here because this is new, but I’m good with him now. Give him minutes, and whenever you can (with reasonable safety for all concerned) all season.

Foster Langsdorf 

This is the first time I’ve seen him. He plays like a bigger person than he is. That's not a compliment.

OK, that’s more than enough. All in all, I think the team will be fine and/or tested with some degree of violence through the first…well, it’s a lot, games of 2019. All the same, I’d put Portland’s chances of pulling a DC United 2018 in 2019 higher than a lot of clubs'. By that I mean, I expect Portland to make the 2019 playoffs. How far they’ll go is another question, but, in terms of having a team that can batten down the hatches and steal the odd game, and wherever, I think the personnel is in place. Just don’t play that first unit ever fucking again, please.