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| He's not real, he's not real, please, don't let him be real... |
“As a player, it’s one of the worst parts of preseason: Competing for a spot. You never know where you stand, and sometimes you’re competing with a friend. Every night you lie in bed and think about the way the coach spoke you, his mannerisms, and what they mean for your future.”
MLSSoccer.com’s Bobby Warshaw wrote a column about the preseason experience that broke my taboo against treating the soccer players as human beings. Until I get some real background – e.g., this article about the Portland Timbers’ Cristian Paredes' tough first year miles away from his home – I really do see soccer players as video game avatars. I’m not saying it’s healthy, I’m just sayin’…on to the weekly recap.
In all honesty, the first weeks of February don’t feel all that different from the last weeks of December. Sure, preseason has started, but, what’s going on with FC Cincinnati aside, it all feels like a big, stupid pile of names and numbers (e.g., FC Dallas beating Houston Baptist University 6-0, which feels like someone telling me the Toronto Raptors dunked all over the local high school’s varsity team, and why would you do that?). All the same, this was a busy week, one filled with trades what God-knows-what meaning, and a notable combination of action and silence between and amongst all the rest of the teams in Major League Soccer, aka, MLS…goddamn it, working in law has infiltrated my brain so fucking deep that I now use defined terms. The shame…
I’ll get to all that – plus a short segment on the teams who I don't believe are keeping up with the rest of the MLS Joneses, as well as my notes on the past week’s culture-shifting trades – down below. First, however, it’s time for a quick check-in with the two teams I follow, FC Cincinnati and the Portland Timbers. But not in that order. For reasons that will become immediately apparent.
Portland Timbers
Hometown Team 2.0 hasn’t done a thing since signing Claude Dielna last week (at which point I discussed it at some length), and, won’t lie, I feel like I’m sitting across from a significant other determined to give me the silent treatment. (What did the counselor say, Gavin, what did she say?!)
For the super-thirsty, two Portland Timbers played for Costa Rica in their 0-2 loss to the U.S. Men’s National Team (here’s my write-up, btw). David Guzman looked reassuringly like himself out there yesterday, and across all facets of his personality and personal capabilities. Marvin Loria, meanwhile, had literally one moment before turning invisible. On a personal level, I’m happy to see Guzman switched in and playing his game, not least because I think he can make Portland better in the same way Wil Trapp made the U.S. better today. As for Loria, he’s got time and, again, give him some minutes, because you’ll never know otherwise.
Moving on now, to the team that’s actually done something lately...
FC Cincinnati
FC Cincy has played two preseason games so far, compiling a 1-0-1 record on the way. The opposition wasn’t the biggest or the best (Colorado Rapids and the Montreal Impact, respectively (I am paying attention, are you?)). I had no access to either game, and that is what it is, but I did hear things about some players, who did what, that kind of thing. And I’ve since boned up on some brief match reports, as well as some interviews (Darren Mattocks has a kind of world-domination charisma with the way he looks into the camera), and here are my thoughts on all that.
While I don’t think much of either Montreal or Colorado this season (see below), a lot of things in these preseason games do make me feel better. For instance, head coach Alan Koch has been fielding two almost completely different sets of players in each of the halves of those preseason games - which, from a good authority, is something Koch likes doing. With that in mind, one can’t help but notice that Cincinnati scored both of its two goals against B-unit defenses, and early in the 2nd half. I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad, I’m just trying to temper expectations (said the guy who’s told everyone he’s ever met that Santa Claus isn’t real, starting at age 5, when his sisters told him, and the urge never really died).
To be clear, those were good results. Based on my loose following on twitter, most players did well through both games, but the names that caught my eye were, Emery Welshman, Darren Mattocks, and, especially, Forrest Lasso, who has shown up in the stats more than a central defender has any business doing. That’s all I’ve got for now, and until I watch the team play live. If that doesn’t happen till March 2, so be it. Till then, I hope the competition for starting spots is as open as it looks, and that the new guys aren’t rocking a Fast Pass to the starting XI. That could be right, that could be wrong, but certain players on FC Cincy’s roster – and with Forrest Lasso leading the line – might surprise people in 2019. (I’m not adding any more names in case I’m wrong. May as well get burned only once, right?). If they step into the league strong, they’ll have every chance to leap frog this set of teams. Or, as I’m calling them…
Dead Meat, Till Further Notice
There’s an element of burying alive to this, but what I’m really trying to flag are the teams who don’t really seem to have forward momentum of any kind going into the 2019 season. They’re getting lapped, basically, by the teams around them that seem to have a path forward under their feet. The teams below, meanwhile, don’t appear to have much of anything on tap that will lead to actual success in 2019 and beyond. It’s like they’re waiting on an actual miracle or something.
Chicago Fire
I like Johan Kappelhof more than the next guy, but I don’t believe that the status quo, plus Przemyslaw Frankowski can make this team competitive. Of all the teams in MLS, this might be the one in the biggest need of any overhaul. Given the Fire’s recent history, you’d expect closer to the Vancouver Whitecaps’ offseason – i.e., swinging for the fences.
Colorado Rapids
Unless both of them find Soccer Jesus, adding late-career, upper-middle class players like Nicolas Mezquida & Benny Feilhaber feel like middling moves by a middling team. Colorado seems as hung up on a “moneyball” approach, and that hasn’t paid off lately.
Columbus Crew
Yeah, yeah, they made the conference semifinals. I’m not sure they weren’t lucky to get there. I doubt playing (roughly) the same hand will get them there again.
Montreal Impact
Unless Harry Novillo has the legs to carry them to the Promised Land, what separates this team from another full season of mood swings? Already marginal, and a year older for *key* (as in indispensable) players to boot, God knows who you’re keeping up with, but it ain’t the Joneses.
New England Revolution
When Claude Dielna left, the defense got a little more thin. Carles Gil, a (?) talent(?) from Spain – can’t fix that even if he wanted to. They can drop off this list tomorrow with strong signings to their back-line.
Philadelphia Union
Assuming the oldest-established, permanent-floating MLS Transfer Tracker is accurate, the Union are about to go through another season relying on the young and the green. I think everyone wants every class to come good – even outside Philly (arm raised and a hankie in the other hand wiping away proud tears) – but it hasn’t ever really paid off for Philly yet, has it?
Real Salt Lake
They might have brought in Everton Luiz to spell (or retire) Kyle Beckerman, but that doesn’t feel like enough for RSL, which is still very much mired in MLS 2.[X] (tracking the historic versions of MLS is complicated, so I round up and/or down).
Seattle Sounders
I saw their mighty, unholy late season rally in 2018 and thought that would carry them further than it did, just like you, but this team feels older and less complete with each passing season all the same. Jordan Morris coming back doesn’t feel like enough.
Toronto FC
They lost Sebastian Giovinco, for God’s sake, a talent so immense that other teams still had to game-plan for him, even when he was doing horribly, because, what if? They lost Victor Vazquez as well - who I'm not alone in thinking completed them, a la, Jerry Maguire; Sam Stejskal agrees - and this team can’t be the same with both of those players gone. So, until we know who replaces them…?
As noted in and out of that list, all those teams (except Chicago and Colorado; maybe Montreal) can fall off that list with just a couple signings. Trouble is, the nature of signing talent has changed in MLS….right? That’s the impression
The Chips Look Bigger
MLS lost Giovinco this past week, as well as Atlanta’s United FC’s Miguel Almiron, and, with them gone, MLS has lost two of its most impressive all-time talents. Something else happened this past week – DC United’s Luciano Acosta almost made it to Paris Saint Germain, but his deal died over (apparently) the difference bet $10 million in cold hard cash, or $8 million plus “we’ll see.” For what it’s worth, I think DC bit their own asses on the Acosta thing, but 1) I’m not that invested, and 2) I hope I’m wrong. All the same, all these are big money moves - well, except Giovinco’s price point – and that’s kind of the point. As Bobby Warshaw pointed out in his essay about upcoming “positional battles” in MLS, Atlanta carries a player on its roster they bought for $15 million, one Ezequiel Barco, the player who may or may not take over Almiron’s role in the Atlanta attack….but, from what I hear, that’s not his game. That’s just a note, btw…
Almiron, even Acosta, has redefined the kinds of player that MLS can sign. More to the point, a $27 million signing from Atlanta to one of England’s oldest clubs, Newcastle United FC, makes MLS look like a proving ground – i.e., a place where doing well means something on the global market. For a guy who has watched this league since Day 1, this is unimaginable. Buying the talented aging European was the natural model, and that’s where you see your Steve Gerrard’s, your Frank Lampards and your Didier Drogbas. They all did well in MLS, at least as for as long as they lasted, but the end was always near and soon for each of those players. They weren’t quite freak-show attractions, but those were players for today, not tomorrow – and on any level.
If that shift feels somewhat obvious, one implication of it may not. When an doddering European came into MLS, fans knew what they were getting, even if an asterisk* hung over his arrival. (* Does he have the legs left?) I left a bunch of teams off the list above based on nothing more than activity – i.e., to name one team I flagged, I don’t know one damn thing about Hwang Im-beon, but he was enough to keep the Whitecaps off the list. Players like this – e.g., guys who look promising, but who are basically unknown quantities when it comes to MLS (to name two more, Rodolfo Zelaya to Los Angeles FC and Alex Mitrita to New York City FC) – feel more like the future of league signings than even someone like Wayne Rooney…
…speaking of, how much better did Luciano Acosta get after Rooney showed up? It’s not quite night and day, but it was definitely significant. And keep in mind that Acosta had two…good(?) seasons in MLS before blowing up big enough for a club like PSG to come a-callin’. My point is, roster building is getting a lot more interesting. And a little more mysterious.
That’s it. See all y’all next week.
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