Portland Timbers 1 (4) -1 (2) FC Cincinnati: Training Wheels & Breaking the Brick Shit-House

Thomas Jefferson's, apparently...

Sorry for the delay. I poured my sorrows quite the sea to swim in last night…

I have this tactic I use when thumb wrestling, one that has no purpose beyond annoying my thumb’s opposition. With my fingers still laced with the other person’s, I extend my palm to where they can’t reach my thumb. Because there is no draw to play for a thumb wrestling, it isn’t anything but a joke…I think you see where this is going…

It took a penalty shoot-out to make the pain go away last night. But for the second worst decision in Steve Clark’s…very rich career, one of the least satisfying tactical battles in sporting history would have ended in regulation. What happened? Maybe Clark was bored as the rest of us? Whatever caused him to hoist himself onto the high-wire of making that clumsy, stupid touch instead of doing the right and simple thing may never be fully known. Regardless, that moment of sheer idiocy and resulting, well-justified penalty kick (scored by Jurgen Locadia) very nearly undid 67 minutes of the soul-sucking work of looking for a way into the brick shit-house FC Cincinnati built in front of its goal, a choice that was every bit as annoying, and ultimately pointless, as my go-to thumb-wrestling technique. The Timbers finally slipped around the back (and, Lo, what a mighty fortress it was) when Sebastian Blanco found a backdoor behind the defense, one left open when a pair of their defenders strayed too high on their right. Cincy’s central defenders scrambled to snuff Blanco and Jaroslaw Niezgoda slipped into the pocket (yes, that guy; not Diego Valeri; still correcting a bad tweet) to two-time a goal into Cincy’s net. With that, echoes of “FC Cincinnati, come out to play-ay” rang over the stadium. And they responded in their way: first came the massive assist that, had the Timbers not won the, apparently, divinely-ordained penalty shoot-out, would surely would go in the history books as Clark’s Cock-Up ™.

I suppose I shouldn't over-sell Cincinnati's attacking feebleness, because they had enough moments for the upset, up to and including scoring what looked like the OG go-ahead goal, only to see that called back for offside (good call, too). They damn-near bagged a winner when Clark (who, swear to God, gets all up in his own head) bumbled a late attempt (no video, dammit; I don't get to choose these things); Locadia also skied what should have been . Valeri came just as close either before or after (after, says the highlights round-up), and that takes us back to being playthings of the gods

Thankfully, and honestly for all concerned outside the greater Cincinnati media market, general operating assumptions reasserted themselves during the penalty kicks: Portland swept them, and Clark even found a little redemption when he stopped Locadia’s shot; Kendall Waston sealed the deal by leaning waaayyyy back and skying his shot, frankly, way over the crossbar.

To pull back and look at things from a broader angle, both the teams I follow struggled last night, but in fundamentally different ways. To take them in turn…

FC Cincinnati needs to pack the defense just to be able to compete, a choice that will almost certainly produce the opposite effect the longer they keep making it. Call it a crutch, call it training wheels, call it a necessary evil for having a snowball’s shot at staying in a tournament, the training wheels have to come off if Cincy wants to compete if/when MLS resumes league play.

Yes, FC Cincinnati became competitive the same day they became unbearable to watch and that makes sense given the immediacy of single-elimination games. That said, no neutral in the Extended Major League Soccer Universe wanted to see them continue beyond the knockout rounds, and this gives all concerned a reprieve: fans no longer have to endure…that, and this gives Cincinnati some down-time to squint real, real hard at the drawing board and maybe do something besides make a mighty boring fortress out of its defensive third. For what it’s worth, I do believe they can do otherwise, and with some combination of the players who made the field last night (that’s made the field, not necessarily starters). I’ll circle back after framing Portland, but, short version: don’t choose this identity. Please.

Portland, meanwhile, struggled with the exact thing it always does: breaking down a defensive shape that denies them space. With exceptions here and there, Cincy committed to the concept with the zeal of converts, but just about any team in the league can replicate the sharp end of it by falling back when Portland gets possession; even the teams with the capacity to attack can do it and, I’m guessing, probably will whenever regular play resumes. To their credit, the Timbers tried various set-piece schemes and, in their better moments, they had better ideas than crossing, e.g., runs around the fullbacks to pick up passes through into the channel (Valeri to Yimmi Chara provided a good, if fruitless example), but they still crossed 40 times last night and that met with the usual “success.” Just getting in the way can be enough to get the pay-off, so that has to be a concern, now and into the future.

So, that’s where things stand for both teams the morning after. Cincinnati needs to figure out something more ambitious than defending to the last man and feasting on scraps. On the plus side, I think some of that is, 1) personnel driven and 2) obvious enough that anyone from Jaap Stam down to the thickest fan understands that ain’t viable. While I wouldn’t call any position solved for Cincinnati, building a better midfield still strikes me as the one necessary step and, at time of writing, that area still looks like a collection of question marks, both in terms of personnel and how they line up. Caleb Stanko feels like a necessity for now (does Stanko = the crutch? Hmmm), especially so long as Haris Medunjanin stays on the field, but, when Allan Cruz comes back and Siem de Jong comes all the way in, maybe that will clarify the available options (or give them actual options?). They’ve got other midfield options - e.g., Frank Amaya, Fatai Alashe, Tommy McCabe - but none of them leap off the page for me. Bottom-line (for me), I don’t see the whole thing working out unless de Jong comes good, or they can build a balanced midfield around Medunjanin with a partner or two - ideally, maybe even necessarily, one that goes both ways.

I have questions about the forward/winger situation as well (see stray notes), but I don’t think much of the rest of it matters much until Cincinnati gets a midfield.

It’s a little more complicated for the Timbers, because, all things considered, they’re better against (no offense) better teams. Portland played better against LAFC and even Houston for that reason: both teams wanted to put Portland under pressure and that pressure left gaps in behind, and what do Valeri and Blanco (and Ebobisse) like more than space? The Timbers won’t beat that every time, but, under current structures and premises, that’ll give them a fighting chance. For what it’s worth, I think they’ll get that not just against New York City FC, but for the remainder of their stay at the Magical World of Major League Soccer. I’m not saying Portland is destined for the semifinals, never mind the final, of this (I’m guessing, ultimately self-contained) tournament, so much as I’m suggesting Cincinnati might have provided a uniquely challenging test - one that, because the Timbers barely fucking passed, still feels like a cautionary tale for the future.

To pick up on that “self-contained” comment, it bears noting that no one can say for sure what we’re handicapping - e.g., is it just what’s left of the Magical World of Major League Soccer, or should we think of what Portland, and therefore Cincinnati, look like in the context of a happy, blessed universe where the COVID is an after-thought and MLS Cup 2020 becomes a(n admittedly) half-assed reality sometime in December? All in all, I don’t get the point of running the MLS Is Back tournament against any past or future event - at least not if and until that future event pans out. For all we know, this could be the 2020 season. By all accounts I’ve seen, they’re going to attempt a regular season, no matter how irregular, but wanting isn’t having and the whole thing enterprise feels like a longshot.

If I’m just handicapping the MLS Is Back/Magical World of Major League Soccer (and it feels more magical every day), I think the Timbers have a shot at winning this MF. The short-term horizon means you only have to worry about getting Valeri some rest instead of fretting over his age. With Diego Chara showing no signs of slowing down (incredible…), the Chara/Eryk Williamson “defensive” midfield offers a solid and dynamic foundation. Also promising: Blanco played like he had energy to spare; even when he kicked the ball in frustration down the stretch, he did it with a bracing verve. It’s not perfect - I’m still waiting for Yimmi to look the part and I’m keeping tabs on Jorge Villafana - but the foundation is good and holding up nicely.

Right, time to close with some stray notes, most of them about FC Cincinnati…

- Joe Gyau is the one, uncomplicated bright spot I see on Cincinnati’s roster. That’s not saying everyone else sucks or anything, only that Gyau looks the most stable and dangerous.

- My appreciation for Adrien Regattin has taken a hit over the past two outings. He’s holding/dribbling too much and not playing well enough with others.

- I like Przemyslaw Tyton in goal, but goalkeepers not named Steve Clark rarely excite me…

- Honestly, the more I watch Medunjanin, the less I know what to do with him. The current plan - roughly, Medunjanin plus a d-mid and one box-to-box guy - doesn’t work. Is there a line-up with Medunjanin in it that really works?

- One more comment on the Timbers: count me somewhere between satisfied and very satisfied with its collection of centerbacks. Dario Zuparic, in particular, has looked good over the past two games, so, yeah, feeling good...

Finally, one more general note: I’d like to see teams really work the five subs thing. I mean, it makes it possible to completely re-jigger your approach to a game during the game. What good’s crazy shit when you don’t take advantage of it?