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| The first image under "chaos." Nuts. |
And we’re back for another Major League Soccer results round-up, Week 2 this time. As with last week, this post files the results for the week under three (subjective, yet reasonable) categories:
Expected (makes sense based on who’s playing who and where)
Noted (makes enough sense, but with some wrinkle worth flagging)
Holy Shit, What? (varying degrees of disbelief based on the match-up)
First things first, I committed to taking a longer look (e.g., MLS in 15 highlights, plus a long look at the stats) at three “Holy Shit, What?” results each week, and MLS went and delivered an extra one. Sadly, MLS’s video team failed to…property motivate the people who splice and dice the highlights into 15-minute form, which meant I could only see more of the three games I wanted to instead of four, with the San Jose Earthquakes’ large-margin win over FC Dallas winding up as the odd game out. I would have embraced the chance to see more, it being early season and all, and with a goal of building better assumptions, but I play the cards I’m dealt. As such, I’ll have to file San Jose v Dallas under “noted” for now, even if I see it as more "Holy Shit, What?" personally. That result joins five others in the "noted" category, while another four results came in as “expected.” Put it all together and you’ve got eight results with a little intrigue about them against four predictable ol’ duds.
That’s another way of saying, fun week, MLS! If I leaned too hard into any theory going into Week 2, that’d be the expectation that hosting would calm some unsteady starts. While that held up for the most part, literally all of the “Holy Shit, What?” results broke that mold. In the grander scheme, serve it up: what’s better for keeping an audience’s attention but more surprises and flies in the proverbial ointment? That said, early as we are in the 2021 season, no judgments below are firm and, should they read that way, just hear me tapping the sign that reads “no judgments are firm.” Speaking only for myself, the early surprises surround the teams that I might have overrated early, most of ‘em, but not all, in the Western Conference. Which would be good news for my Portland Timbers…
On to the review.
Holy Shit, What?
Minnesota United FC 1-2 Real Salt Lake
First, it sounded like a master thespian playing a foppy villain in a pulp comedy called this game. Delightful. To the subject at hand, what makes a fitting title for this one? The Agony of Chase Gasper, maybe? RSL scored both goals on the back of his terrible moments/decisions, which makes that fitting, but Minnesota’s offense did its part as well by firing hastily and wildly over and over again. A good way to underline that: RSL fired half as many shots (23 to 11), but somehow doubled Minnesota for shots on goal (four versus two). Bottom line, Minnesota labored mightily at one end of the game while handing AndersonJulio a brace at the other; they looked all over the place, basically, and in all the wrong ways. RSL came into the season wrapped in a black box - i.e., I didn’t know what to expect from them - but I expected Minnesota to look better, if not smoother, than a team playing on roller skates. For context, they’ve got no wins, not a single point, and the same goal differential as FC Cincinnati. Seriously. That is fucked up. RSL looked composed by comparison (if in 1/6 of game’s worth of observation) and made some decent chances without an assist from Minnesota (one memorable, if offside, miss saw them knocking from inside the six, but also hitting their own player sitting on the ground, and with more net to shoot at). Again, it’s early, the Loons have plenty of time to right the ship and so on, but coming up empty at home after against a team few people rate just one week after Seattle handed them their asses raises questions about Minnesota’s mental state. Great start for RSL, though. We’ll see where it goes.
Philadelphia Union 1-2 Inter Miami CF
I appreciate the boldness of Philly’s…whatever uniforms, but those look straight outta pee-wee soccer. As for the game, it wasn’t totally drowsy (see, New England v DC below), but it hardly rained chances for either team (13 shots for Philly, just six for Miami). About halfway through, I was going to comment on how the Union went for the cross too readily, but then Miami went and won the game on two crosses, both to Higuains. My best guess at why Philly lost the game follows from that second goal: the defense got caught pinched to one side and ball-watching, something a defense just can’t do in a game knotted at 1-1 - especially when your own team’s attack is firing in too few cylinders. The one thing that stood out most as I watched: gods, was there a lot of wrestling in that game, players knotted up in MMA-style submission holds, etc. My takeaway from that is that Miami has decided to go down fighting in 2021 - which means the Union needs to decide if/when they’ll respond in kind. It was easy to whistle past Philly’s opening road draw at Columbus, because Columbus, but it’s harder to make sense of a home draw against a (formerly?) middling expansion team. Kai Wagner’s consistent crossing aside, neither side of the Union’s game looked great in this one; key players like Kasper Przybylko couldn’t find his feet, never mind space, and the defense switched off when it simply was not an option. Miami, on the other hand, has shown signs that people should keep at least one eye on them.
Colorado Rapids 1-3 Austin FC
Impressed as I was by Austin’s MLS debut against Los Angeles FC last week, I would never have expected them to walk all three points out of The Dick. As with all (or half) of the above, I’m left questioning the (comparatively) elevated regard in which I held Colorado. Just about everything I saw in the extended highlights said Austin created the better chances, and the stats back that up. A lot of that followed from creating more chaos in the defensive third than the Rapids ever managed and doing a better job of making good on said chaos; Diego Fagundez, the former bright shining star in New England’s firmament, stood out most in that regard - and he got the cleanest look at goal to score the first goal in Austin FC history besides. Cecilio Dominguez scored the other two, and with both coming from opportunisticclean-up. A couple Rapids attackers - new kid, Michael Barrios chief among them - got behind Austin’s defense, but the Texans cinched things up quick enough to leave Colorado with too little goal to look at. Bottom line, Austin looks like they’re earning it so far, while Colorado looks like a dog running a couple steps off the pack. Writing as someone enduring FC Cincinnati’s early years, it pains me to see a team build a better roster from Day 1, but congrats to Austin for doing it right. Sure, some of it was luck - I mean, who has Alex (Fucking) Ring fall in their lap? - but you still have to do the work (see, getting Nick Lima from San Jose). As for the Rapids, I’m pretty sure they’ll make some kind of recovery, but Austin gives every sign of being worth watching right out of the gate.
Noted
San Jose Earthquakes 3-1 FC Dallas
Hey, the world’s longest outdoor bar is back in business - and so are the ‘Quakes, who got all the way back in business. They also produced a passing map I haven’t yet seen with the wide fibers connecting Eric Remedi, Javier Lopez, and Jackson Yueill. Cade Cowell will probably walk away as the star performer, and rightly so: between the slicing through-ball that set-up Cristian Espinoza’s goal/apology (for missing a PK) and the leave-‘em-for-dead footwork on his own goal, he deserves. In Dallas’ defense, they coughed up two dumb PKs early and had a certain goal cleared off the line by (I’m not sure this is right, but it’s what I heard) Carlos Fierro. All that aside, between the evidence of my eyes and the stats, San Jose won this game walking away…and that has me asking questions about Dallas, maybe some I should have asked earlier.
New York City FC 5-0 FC Cincinnati
Because Cincy is one of the two teams I actually follow, I have extended, stunned, so-bad-it’s-good, notes on this game. The top-line result - an NYCFC win - almost certainly counts as expected, but I didn’t expect Cincinnati to look…well, like total and utter helpless shit. There’s nowhere to go but up, or so the saying goes, but you can’t get there until you start moving. And, because Cincinnati can’t stop showing the opposite of life, that counts as the final comment for now. I don’t think the jury has reported on NYCFC yet; most teams won’t give them all day to figure it out like Cincy did.
Nashville SC 2-2 Club du Foot Montreal
Neat how Clement Diop looked stuck in that position after Nashville’s equalizer. In fairness to them, though, Nashville looked better than good to make up for a pair of early fuck-ups…only they didn’t. Who saw Nashville giving up 2.0 per game this season, and before they scored both times? As with Cincinnati the week before, one of Montreal’s goals was lucky/stupid (the deflection), which raises the possibility that they owe their (comparatively) hot start to more to being lucky than good. I’d still rather be Nashville, but they’ve clearly got issues to address. Cincy and Montreal, man....
Toronto FC 2-2 Vancouver Whitecaps
Depeche Mode for your goal song, Toronto? I like it. And yet, for reasons I can’t fully explain, I don’t like Toronto’s chances. For good (for me) or ill (for TFC), the highlights and stats lend some credence to that theory: the ‘Caps played them toe-to-toe and, from the looks of it, took over the game by the end, only to see Jonathan Osorio bail out Toronto with a goal that just doesn’t happen much in the normal-verse. As for Vancouver…or those signs of belief I’m seeing?
New England Revolution 1-0 DC United
New England came within a goal post’s width of trading own-goals with DC (deep breath, Andrew Farrell), but only DC achieved the full fuck-up with Brendan Hines-Ike’s own-goal. Not much else separated the two teams - a noteworthy sign for a team (the Revs) playing at home who just about everyone rates (hence filing this under “noted”); the Revs aren’t slipping, but I am minding the cliff. DC, to their credit, looks like they’ll be a tougher out in 2021. If nothing else, they kept the game close, low-scoring ‘n’ boring.
Los Angeles Galaxy 3-2 Red Bull New York
For me, the big story in this one comes from the Red Bulls fighting back against a (prettydamnimpressive) Chicarito hat-trick - and to name the goal that impressed me most, hit the link under “damn” (riding the offside line takes real discipline). Both Red Bull goals looked pretty and purposeful (and they had a nice miss as well), but it’s been a tough start for New Jersey, without question. It’s the fight I’m watching. OG LA, meanwhile, has managed a perfect start and on the back of last year’s star finally starting to shine. And to think they lost a key player to a homophobic slur…
Expected
Sporting Kansas City 1-1 Orlando City SC
I kept tabs on this one in real time and, had you demanded I choose the better team, Orlando would have gotten the nod. Most of the stats back that up, but that didn’t stop Gianluco Busio from putting SKC up at the half with a clever shot. In a game that featured an unusualnumber of goals called back, Nani finally put a nifty one home for Orlando that survived scrutiny. I rate both teams, but see the difference between the two running from sturdy (SKC) to rugged (Orlando).
Los Angeles FC 1-1 Seattle Sounders
As with the above, the result you expect one two good teams square off. With Carlos Vela and Diego Rossi out, there’s no avoiding the “what might have been” for LAFC - and there’s no question their lone goal was weird/dumb - but they still looked capable in the glimpse I got. Seattle caught ‘em on crosses, of all things, with Alex Roldan (of all people) lofting a couple beauties to a slippery Raul Ruidiaz. Overall, though, LAFC doesn’t feel all there, like it’s missing some mojo. Seattle, meanwhile, threatens to play a whole season…
Atlanta United FC 3-1 Chicago Fire FC
An expected result, but the stats and highlights suggest a closer game than expected - e.g., Robert Beric nearly pulled off a half-sideways bike, the post bailed out a lobbed Brad Guzan, etc. Atlanta’s Jake Mulraney arguably gave the best moment with an incredible (literally) dance through a thicket in the area to cause Atlanta’s third, but Ezequiel Barco’s screamer will probably get the headlines. Good win for Atlanta, but Chicago bears watching.
Portland Timbers 2-1 Houston Dynamo
I have extended notes on this game and they are giddy. Overall, the final score didn’t flatter the Dynamo - who looked a good step above decent (and watch that Tyler Pasher kid) - so much as it under-reports on how dangerous Portland looked over the last half hour. I’d checked out into euphoria toward the end (that or the chemicals got the better of me), but I think the Timbers set up three good chances in the last five minutes or so and with an ease that made it look like they could do it on demand.
And so, in conclusion, I’d put have a pretty strong watch notice on the following teams:
On the downgrade side, I’d watch Minnesota, Dallas, Colorado, Philadelphia, and maybe Nashville and Toronto. New England could belong here too, but we’ll see.
The upgrade side includes, Austin, Miami, Vancouver, and, real shocker here, both the Galaxy and the Red Bulls. Basically. Take these teams lightly at your own risk, see if they don’t bite you on the ass. Chicago could be sneaking in here as well, same with Houston, but, again, it’s early. Every other team exists on this axis of “good” and “bad” that I might never have communicated (well, this was stab at it) and that might only exist in my head. At any rate, the above gives a loose sense of where I am with all the teams discussed. It’s neither right nor wrong in the here and now, but we’ll see how it holds up down the line - i.e,. the only time/place that matters.
Till the next one. I’m thinking it’ll be either Monday or Tuesday next week, just due to the personal extra-curriculars. At any rate, signing off.
Expected (makes sense based on who’s playing who and where)
Noted (makes enough sense, but with some wrinkle worth flagging)
Holy Shit, What? (varying degrees of disbelief based on the match-up)
First things first, I committed to taking a longer look (e.g., MLS in 15 highlights, plus a long look at the stats) at three “Holy Shit, What?” results each week, and MLS went and delivered an extra one. Sadly, MLS’s video team failed to…property motivate the people who splice and dice the highlights into 15-minute form, which meant I could only see more of the three games I wanted to instead of four, with the San Jose Earthquakes’ large-margin win over FC Dallas winding up as the odd game out. I would have embraced the chance to see more, it being early season and all, and with a goal of building better assumptions, but I play the cards I’m dealt. As such, I’ll have to file San Jose v Dallas under “noted” for now, even if I see it as more "Holy Shit, What?" personally. That result joins five others in the "noted" category, while another four results came in as “expected.” Put it all together and you’ve got eight results with a little intrigue about them against four predictable ol’ duds.
That’s another way of saying, fun week, MLS! If I leaned too hard into any theory going into Week 2, that’d be the expectation that hosting would calm some unsteady starts. While that held up for the most part, literally all of the “Holy Shit, What?” results broke that mold. In the grander scheme, serve it up: what’s better for keeping an audience’s attention but more surprises and flies in the proverbial ointment? That said, early as we are in the 2021 season, no judgments below are firm and, should they read that way, just hear me tapping the sign that reads “no judgments are firm.” Speaking only for myself, the early surprises surround the teams that I might have overrated early, most of ‘em, but not all, in the Western Conference. Which would be good news for my Portland Timbers…
On to the review.
Holy Shit, What?
Minnesota United FC 1-2 Real Salt Lake
First, it sounded like a master thespian playing a foppy villain in a pulp comedy called this game. Delightful. To the subject at hand, what makes a fitting title for this one? The Agony of Chase Gasper, maybe? RSL scored both goals on the back of his terrible moments/decisions, which makes that fitting, but Minnesota’s offense did its part as well by firing hastily and wildly over and over again. A good way to underline that: RSL fired half as many shots (23 to 11), but somehow doubled Minnesota for shots on goal (four versus two). Bottom line, Minnesota labored mightily at one end of the game while handing AndersonJulio a brace at the other; they looked all over the place, basically, and in all the wrong ways. RSL came into the season wrapped in a black box - i.e., I didn’t know what to expect from them - but I expected Minnesota to look better, if not smoother, than a team playing on roller skates. For context, they’ve got no wins, not a single point, and the same goal differential as FC Cincinnati. Seriously. That is fucked up. RSL looked composed by comparison (if in 1/6 of game’s worth of observation) and made some decent chances without an assist from Minnesota (one memorable, if offside, miss saw them knocking from inside the six, but also hitting their own player sitting on the ground, and with more net to shoot at). Again, it’s early, the Loons have plenty of time to right the ship and so on, but coming up empty at home after against a team few people rate just one week after Seattle handed them their asses raises questions about Minnesota’s mental state. Great start for RSL, though. We’ll see where it goes.
Philadelphia Union 1-2 Inter Miami CF
I appreciate the boldness of Philly’s…whatever uniforms, but those look straight outta pee-wee soccer. As for the game, it wasn’t totally drowsy (see, New England v DC below), but it hardly rained chances for either team (13 shots for Philly, just six for Miami). About halfway through, I was going to comment on how the Union went for the cross too readily, but then Miami went and won the game on two crosses, both to Higuains. My best guess at why Philly lost the game follows from that second goal: the defense got caught pinched to one side and ball-watching, something a defense just can’t do in a game knotted at 1-1 - especially when your own team’s attack is firing in too few cylinders. The one thing that stood out most as I watched: gods, was there a lot of wrestling in that game, players knotted up in MMA-style submission holds, etc. My takeaway from that is that Miami has decided to go down fighting in 2021 - which means the Union needs to decide if/when they’ll respond in kind. It was easy to whistle past Philly’s opening road draw at Columbus, because Columbus, but it’s harder to make sense of a home draw against a (formerly?) middling expansion team. Kai Wagner’s consistent crossing aside, neither side of the Union’s game looked great in this one; key players like Kasper Przybylko couldn’t find his feet, never mind space, and the defense switched off when it simply was not an option. Miami, on the other hand, has shown signs that people should keep at least one eye on them.
Colorado Rapids 1-3 Austin FC
Impressed as I was by Austin’s MLS debut against Los Angeles FC last week, I would never have expected them to walk all three points out of The Dick. As with all (or half) of the above, I’m left questioning the (comparatively) elevated regard in which I held Colorado. Just about everything I saw in the extended highlights said Austin created the better chances, and the stats back that up. A lot of that followed from creating more chaos in the defensive third than the Rapids ever managed and doing a better job of making good on said chaos; Diego Fagundez, the former bright shining star in New England’s firmament, stood out most in that regard - and he got the cleanest look at goal to score the first goal in Austin FC history besides. Cecilio Dominguez scored the other two, and with both coming from opportunisticclean-up. A couple Rapids attackers - new kid, Michael Barrios chief among them - got behind Austin’s defense, but the Texans cinched things up quick enough to leave Colorado with too little goal to look at. Bottom line, Austin looks like they’re earning it so far, while Colorado looks like a dog running a couple steps off the pack. Writing as someone enduring FC Cincinnati’s early years, it pains me to see a team build a better roster from Day 1, but congrats to Austin for doing it right. Sure, some of it was luck - I mean, who has Alex (Fucking) Ring fall in their lap? - but you still have to do the work (see, getting Nick Lima from San Jose). As for the Rapids, I’m pretty sure they’ll make some kind of recovery, but Austin gives every sign of being worth watching right out of the gate.
Noted
San Jose Earthquakes 3-1 FC Dallas
Hey, the world’s longest outdoor bar is back in business - and so are the ‘Quakes, who got all the way back in business. They also produced a passing map I haven’t yet seen with the wide fibers connecting Eric Remedi, Javier Lopez, and Jackson Yueill. Cade Cowell will probably walk away as the star performer, and rightly so: between the slicing through-ball that set-up Cristian Espinoza’s goal/apology (for missing a PK) and the leave-‘em-for-dead footwork on his own goal, he deserves. In Dallas’ defense, they coughed up two dumb PKs early and had a certain goal cleared off the line by (I’m not sure this is right, but it’s what I heard) Carlos Fierro. All that aside, between the evidence of my eyes and the stats, San Jose won this game walking away…and that has me asking questions about Dallas, maybe some I should have asked earlier.
New York City FC 5-0 FC Cincinnati
Because Cincy is one of the two teams I actually follow, I have extended, stunned, so-bad-it’s-good, notes on this game. The top-line result - an NYCFC win - almost certainly counts as expected, but I didn’t expect Cincinnati to look…well, like total and utter helpless shit. There’s nowhere to go but up, or so the saying goes, but you can’t get there until you start moving. And, because Cincinnati can’t stop showing the opposite of life, that counts as the final comment for now. I don’t think the jury has reported on NYCFC yet; most teams won’t give them all day to figure it out like Cincy did.
Nashville SC 2-2 Club du Foot Montreal
Neat how Clement Diop looked stuck in that position after Nashville’s equalizer. In fairness to them, though, Nashville looked better than good to make up for a pair of early fuck-ups…only they didn’t. Who saw Nashville giving up 2.0 per game this season, and before they scored both times? As with Cincinnati the week before, one of Montreal’s goals was lucky/stupid (the deflection), which raises the possibility that they owe their (comparatively) hot start to more to being lucky than good. I’d still rather be Nashville, but they’ve clearly got issues to address. Cincy and Montreal, man....
Toronto FC 2-2 Vancouver Whitecaps
Depeche Mode for your goal song, Toronto? I like it. And yet, for reasons I can’t fully explain, I don’t like Toronto’s chances. For good (for me) or ill (for TFC), the highlights and stats lend some credence to that theory: the ‘Caps played them toe-to-toe and, from the looks of it, took over the game by the end, only to see Jonathan Osorio bail out Toronto with a goal that just doesn’t happen much in the normal-verse. As for Vancouver…or those signs of belief I’m seeing?
New England Revolution 1-0 DC United
New England came within a goal post’s width of trading own-goals with DC (deep breath, Andrew Farrell), but only DC achieved the full fuck-up with Brendan Hines-Ike’s own-goal. Not much else separated the two teams - a noteworthy sign for a team (the Revs) playing at home who just about everyone rates (hence filing this under “noted”); the Revs aren’t slipping, but I am minding the cliff. DC, to their credit, looks like they’ll be a tougher out in 2021. If nothing else, they kept the game close, low-scoring ‘n’ boring.
Los Angeles Galaxy 3-2 Red Bull New York
For me, the big story in this one comes from the Red Bulls fighting back against a (prettydamnimpressive) Chicarito hat-trick - and to name the goal that impressed me most, hit the link under “damn” (riding the offside line takes real discipline). Both Red Bull goals looked pretty and purposeful (and they had a nice miss as well), but it’s been a tough start for New Jersey, without question. It’s the fight I’m watching. OG LA, meanwhile, has managed a perfect start and on the back of last year’s star finally starting to shine. And to think they lost a key player to a homophobic slur…
Expected
Sporting Kansas City 1-1 Orlando City SC
I kept tabs on this one in real time and, had you demanded I choose the better team, Orlando would have gotten the nod. Most of the stats back that up, but that didn’t stop Gianluco Busio from putting SKC up at the half with a clever shot. In a game that featured an unusualnumber of goals called back, Nani finally put a nifty one home for Orlando that survived scrutiny. I rate both teams, but see the difference between the two running from sturdy (SKC) to rugged (Orlando).
Los Angeles FC 1-1 Seattle Sounders
As with the above, the result you expect one two good teams square off. With Carlos Vela and Diego Rossi out, there’s no avoiding the “what might have been” for LAFC - and there’s no question their lone goal was weird/dumb - but they still looked capable in the glimpse I got. Seattle caught ‘em on crosses, of all things, with Alex Roldan (of all people) lofting a couple beauties to a slippery Raul Ruidiaz. Overall, though, LAFC doesn’t feel all there, like it’s missing some mojo. Seattle, meanwhile, threatens to play a whole season…
Atlanta United FC 3-1 Chicago Fire FC
An expected result, but the stats and highlights suggest a closer game than expected - e.g., Robert Beric nearly pulled off a half-sideways bike, the post bailed out a lobbed Brad Guzan, etc. Atlanta’s Jake Mulraney arguably gave the best moment with an incredible (literally) dance through a thicket in the area to cause Atlanta’s third, but Ezequiel Barco’s screamer will probably get the headlines. Good win for Atlanta, but Chicago bears watching.
Portland Timbers 2-1 Houston Dynamo
I have extended notes on this game and they are giddy. Overall, the final score didn’t flatter the Dynamo - who looked a good step above decent (and watch that Tyler Pasher kid) - so much as it under-reports on how dangerous Portland looked over the last half hour. I’d checked out into euphoria toward the end (that or the chemicals got the better of me), but I think the Timbers set up three good chances in the last five minutes or so and with an ease that made it look like they could do it on demand.
And so, in conclusion, I’d put have a pretty strong watch notice on the following teams:
On the downgrade side, I’d watch Minnesota, Dallas, Colorado, Philadelphia, and maybe Nashville and Toronto. New England could belong here too, but we’ll see.
The upgrade side includes, Austin, Miami, Vancouver, and, real shocker here, both the Galaxy and the Red Bulls. Basically. Take these teams lightly at your own risk, see if they don’t bite you on the ass. Chicago could be sneaking in here as well, same with Houston, but, again, it’s early. Every other team exists on this axis of “good” and “bad” that I might never have communicated (well, this was stab at it) and that might only exist in my head. At any rate, the above gives a loose sense of where I am with all the teams discussed. It’s neither right nor wrong in the here and now, but we’ll see how it holds up down the line - i.e,. the only time/place that matters.
Till the next one. I’m thinking it’ll be either Monday or Tuesday next week, just due to the personal extra-curriculars. At any rate, signing off.
Where do the 15min Supercuts live these days?
ReplyDeleteHere, but they don't update timely as I'd like. The MLS App on your phone gets them faster, at least generally. Some videos take more time to upload than others and, near as I can tell, some just don't get uploaded.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.mlssoccer.com/video/topics/mls-in-15/