Portland Timbers 2-1 Houston Dynamo: Free Points!

So filthy.

I’ll start with a note to anyone who runs the game, whether in the front office or from the coach’s bench: soccer is one hell of a lot more fun between two teams who want to win; the visuals fall apart when you throw in one team that doesn’t want to lose. The Portland Timbers and the Houston Dynamo FC played it right tonight, so credit to both teams. That was fun!

Moving on, how do you spell G-R-A-V-Y? Three points at home while resting your starters. Just in fewer letters.

Gods in heavens, where do I begin?

Due to general enthusiasm, my notes on the Timbers 2-1 home/understudy win over Houston read (in general terms) as, “oooh, did you see that?!” As such, I’m going to do two things in this post:

1) Address the game in general terms; and
2) pass out player grades (or comments) for every Timber who played tonight.

So, I’ve never done player grades (at least that I can recall…hiccup!), but, given that Portland decided to lead with its depth (classic weak-hand trump game strategy, btw), going that route feels appropriate for this one. As we all know, there’s a long season ahead and that points to the wisdom of Portland priming its cover in every position possible - and, based on tonight’s result, progress looks good. I’ll get to that before digging into the player ratings, but first, let’s talk general terms.

The Game
There was no question as to who came out to win and who came out to contain early - that was Portland and Houston, respectively, and almost to a puzzling extent given everything that followed. The Timbers scored very early, and through what I thought (or what I sold to myself as) a Yimmi Chara dummy off a, frankly, brilliant move by Pablo Bonilla move/cross from the flank, only it wasn’t a dummy. Yimmi missed it, but Dairon Asprilla smartly played the odds and followed the play to slice home a pedestrian goal (by his standards). The Portland Timbers irregulars moved the ball smartly all over the field and all was right with the world….until it wasn’t.

After starting in an inexplicably passive stance, the Dynamo decided to go toe-to-toe with the Timbers. Entertainment and stress ensued. From, by my calculations, the 25th minute to the half-time whistle, Houston dominated play, through the wings specifically, and kept just about every Timber on the back foot, or at least halfway to it. No one suffered during this period quite like Claudio Bravo, what with Houston’s Tyler Pasher putting him through the spin-cycle over and over again. Small wonder the corner kick that led to Houston’s goal came from that side. Anyhoo, the Dynamo would score off a corner kick somewhere in there when Pasher flared out from the corner to send a cross from a better angle that either Boniek Garcia (deliberately) or Cristhian Paredes (accidentally, right?) knocked in. Houston found a way to put the Timbers under pressure, basically, and they had some decent ideas for creating openings. With the game evened up, I started downgrading expectations and generally making excuses…

I’d say both teams came out cagey at the start of the second half, but Portland, gods bless ‘em, took control of the game both bit-by-bit and substitution-by-substitution. To name the sub who helped most, I’d go with Dario Zuparic, a player who almost single-handedly got the defense on the front foot. Diego Valeri also came in for Yimmi Chara, someone who, like most of the attacking players who started, Houston sorted out how to manage over the first half. With the game steadily in front of them, the Timbers collectively started to find ways to play straight through Houston; there I'd flag with Felipe Mora coming on for Blake Bodily at the 60th. The weird and wonderful thing about it: plays that started from the back, often starting from one of the fullbacks tracking a run inside defensively, stopping it, and turning defense into offense on a fucking dime, went front to back like butter.

And this - this- was the truly fucking fun part of this game: by the end, Portland was playing something deliriously close to total football. Out of nowhere, Bonilla suddenly got way the hell up into the attack, and so did Bravo on the opposite side; again, and more than anything else, both those players won possession in the defensive third and, between timing, reading and execution, seemed to have very good ideas about how to turn defense into offense;when Juliocarlos Van Rankin madde it look even easier after he came on for Bonilla. Portland created enough danger and from enough places that it reminded me of the ultimate weapon in The Last Starfighter when the thing fired from all directions. It was every bit as amazing, fun, and encouraging, and without the fate of a whole goddamn planet hanging in the balance.

The most negative read on tonight’s three free points follows from not having a clear read on where Houston fits into the Western Conference hierarchy - but I don’t think anyone else does either. To give the most positive read: most of Portland’s irregulars played a solid game tonight and against a team (Houston) that, as I see it, looks like they’ll land somewhere between a thorn in the side and back in the playoffs in 2021….then again, and as I’ve said before, I think the Western Conference will be devilish hell this season. More bloodletting than anyone wants to see out their own basically, but with everyone bleeding at one time or another. Fun and hideous, in other words.

That’s all the general stuff, which means it’s time to move on to the weird and unprecedented, and yet I’m pretty sure it’s the right course of rating every Timber who played tonight. In the order they come to me…

Jeff Attinella; Faith restored (yay!) and mostly based on that play where he stayed home and trusted Bravo to cover a slip up at the back post. He looked confident tonight, so…win!

Claudio Bravo: When a player gets beat by the other team’s MotM (e.g. Pasher), I’m willing to let it slide. Bravo had his struggles, but he also had at least one key intervention and shows real promise as a two-way player.

Larrys Mabiala: Incredibly, at least for me, he was by biggest concern on the night. He had an unsteadiness about him tonight, something I’m willing to overlook, because history. But also, history….you know what I’m talking about. [Ed. In case you don't, see 2020's rash of soft, late goals.]

Dario Zuparic: Honestly, he nailed it and globally. Zup looked like the Timbers best CB tonight.

Bill Tuiloma: A solid outing and, golly, have I missed his passing out of the back.

Pablo Bonilla: For my money, he straight up fucking killed it tonight; at least 85% of the time I saw him, he was doing something awesome.

Diego Chara: Quietly brilliant. I can’t believe they didn’t rest him. I can’t believe they still don’t have to.

Marvin Loria: In a word, complicated. Something close to the perfect crossroad between great ideas and mediocre execution. I hesitate to think people should tell him not to shoot, but…

Cristhian Paredes: This is my one hard-ass position: I will not let a good goal excuse an entire game of greater and lesser fuck-ups. I say this with both forgiveness and some hope, but I can’t believe there’s not a better depth player on the roster.

Dairon Asprilla: His clear mania for going toward goal was outright inspiring tonight; his goal aside, I’m higher on Asprilla this season than I have been at any point in his career. He looks like a real, scary option. For, like, the entire season.

Yimmi Chara: This one’s complicated because he looked like the best player on the field for the first 15 minutes. Going the other way, an impact player doesn’t vanish after 25 minutes. I’m not even sort of doubting his role in or around the first team, but he’s more opportunist than originator.

Blake Bodily: As much as he disappeared after a solid start, was he ever really the “forward” in this formation?

Diego Valeri: Always good, still consistently plays a great version of the right pass, could have added to the lead late.

Felipe Mora: I still have not one goddamn idea how a guy that small manages hold up play that well, but…holy shit. His instincts border on flawless.

Eryk Williamson: Along with the rest of the subs, he came on and underscored that delicious aura of invincibility. Every tackle and touch looked in the neighborhood of just right.

Juliocarlos VanRankin: The game had turned all the way against Houston by the time he came on, but he looks like he’d do better than fine playing midfield in a pinch.

And, if I had to offer the brightest upside out of what I saw tonight, that last thought would be it. Over the last…I’d say 20 minutes of this game, the Portland Timbers looked every inch like my dream team - e.g., a team that will cover any and all defensive sins and forever and always out-score the opposition. Setting aside all the misses (there were several), Portland created more and better chances late than they did at the beginning of the game. I'll doubt fans will get lucky enough to see them do that every game, just knowing that they can do it is wholly and entirely goddamned exciting.