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| I'm very pro-labor, but this team needs more bosses. |
[Standing Disclaimer: While I have watched…just a stupid amount of MLS over the years, I don’t watch the vast majority of games, never mind all of them. As such, it’s fair to take anything below that isn’t a hard number or a physical trophy as an impression, a couple steps removed.]
Thumbnail History
A bit dull, honestly, which pushes the devil to the details – i.e., see the Half Dozen Names to Know section below. They’ve made the playoffs every season since joining MLS and, if I’m being honest, I don’t really recall whether pundits and punters every genuinely believed they’d go anywhere in the post-season, never mind go big. A glance at the playoff brackets for each of their four seasons in the league argues against: Nashville SC made the conference semis in (weird) 2020 and 2021, but haven’t been able to clear the first round since (see 2022 and 2023). The best way to describe Nashville’s short history would be…a lot of that.
Best Season(s)
2021? I guess? That post-season saw Nashville roll Orlando City SC in the first round and push a solid Philadelphia Union team to the wall (aka, PKs) in the Eastern Conference semis. Heck, they even scored a goal in that one.
Long-Term Tendencies
Can confirm: 2021 was Nashville’s best season, an argument bolstered by the fact that they actually found a little headroom above the league scoring average for the first and, so far, only time – yessir, 55 goals scored against an MLS-wide average of 47.4. Their scoring has ranged from a whisker over the goals-for average in one other season, while falling a ways below in the other two. And that makes the secret to Nashville’s version of success…correct, stubborn, borderline immovable defenses from one season to the next – i.e., 10 goals below the average against in (a quite low-scoring (and, again, weird) 2020 season, a shade under 14 goals below in 2021, just over nine in 2022, and 15 in 2023. Balls that cannot be broken, basically.
Identity: the Proles of MLS
Joy Points: 4, aka, fuck it, it's a job and it pays the bills.
A Half Dozen Names to Know (and here's a full list, current to 2022, for reference)
Walker Zimmerman (2020- )
It hasn’t hurt ‘em half as much as it should have, but I still can’t believe Los Angeles FC let Zimmerman walk in 2020. Their loss handed Nashville a brick wall in their inaugural season and in every season since. One of the most dominant center backs in MLS. Again, crazy trade.
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| ...how did this happened and why? |
Dax McCarty (2020-2023)
A present MLS legend, as opposed to a future one (see above), but one who toils in the most crucial, yet unsung position in the beautiful game. Smart as a whip, technical enough to make it count, and, just as important as all that, he hasn’t missed many games in his long, long career (18 (fucking!) seasons, not counting 2006), McCarty has served as the engine for four-plus MLS teams. Nashville let him go on a free this past off-season, not unreasonably, but hopefully with a salute.
Hany Mukhtar (2020- )
For all the things they haven’t done right and all the signings they’ve botched (getting to that; sit tight), Nashville unearthed a big…carat-crazy diamond (I don’t know how carats work) when they found Mukhtar. He pocketed the 2022 Golden Boot on a season to die for (23 goals, 11 assists, regular season alone) and has posted strong numbers in every other season since he joined. And, not incidentally, carried Nashville’s ass through just as many.
Randall Leal/Jacob Shaffelburg (2020-, and 2022-, respectively)
Placed here to symbolize Nashville’s dire need for a player, any player give opposing defenses anything to think about besides Mukhtar – also, hold that thought. Leal posted real numbers in 2021 – thus supporting the theory – but he tends to miss some games and Shaffelburg feels like an eternal passenger on the hype train often as not.
Ake Loba (2021-2023)
If memory serves, this dude was supposed to be the signing, the attacking threat to spearhead Nashville’s attack and give Mukhtar some wider seams to carve open. Instead, Loba went down as one of the biggest busts/albatrosses in MLS history. He cost a bundle (a then-/maybe still record $6.8 million) and only returned two goals and 40 aimless games. If someone didn’t lose their job on that one, someone else isn’t doing his/her job. How mightily Nashville struggled to off-load his expensive dead-weight became a league-wide punchline. Just brutal.
C. J. Sapong (2021-2023(?))
Before digging into/near Sapong, a player I respect immensely, I want to add this: Nashville have made some very smart signings in their short history. When it comes to any player wearing a traditional number lower than a No. 8, they have a good-to-great track record – e.g., Dan Lovitz, Jake Maher, Sean Davis. Getting back to Sapong, signing him wasn’t nuts…and yet there is not one damn thing in his profile to suggest he could cure the scoring issues that afflict Nashville, something that’s more on Nashville’s F.O. than Sapong, because what you get from him should be abundantly clear by now.
Where They Finished in 2023 & What the Past Says About That, If Anything
12th overall, and with their 4th consecutive positive goal differential no less, but I don’t believe anyone saw them going anywhere. There’s nothing to add, really.
Notes/Impressions on the Current Roster/State of Ambition
Nashville looks set for another season of dourly solid – an impression they underscored by calling in Dru Yearwood from the equally dour Red Bull New York. I see they also nabbed Tyler Boyd from the Los Angeles Galaxy – who, to be clear, is a player I like/rate – but he looks for all the world to me like the next guy to condemn Mukhtar to doing 38.46% (or more) of the goal-scoring on a team doomed to reach the playoffs, and. Nashville will be a good team (see?) that will be hell to beat for the fifth season running, but they’ll need someone, anyone to stand up – e.g., Boyd, Shaffelburg, Sam Surridge, (why not?) Teal Bunbury – and put up some numbers if they want to lift something shiny. Entirely related, how has a team built like this failed to win the U.S. Open Cup? Maybe it's just me, but that one seems like Barbie to their Ken.
* Joy Point Index
Winning the CONCACAF Champions’ League: 5 points
Claiming Supporters’ Shield : 4 points
Winning MLS Cup: 3 points
MLS Cup Runner-Up: 2 points
Winning the U.S. Open Cup: 2 points
Winning CONCACAF Champions Cup: 2 points
MLS Is Back Cup: 2 points (yeah, yeah, I’m a Timbers fan; still, that was a tough one)
CONCACAF Champions League Semifinalist: 1 point
Making the Playoffs: 1 point
Missing the Playoffs: -1 point
Missing Playoffs in 1996-97, 2002-2004 (when 80% of the league qualified): - 2 points
Wooden Spoon: -3 points
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