The Late Tackle, 12 14 2016: (Letting Someone Else) Wrap Up the MLS Expansion Draft, Player Moves, and an Apology

It's that time of year....

Working on tightening up these posts…because I wanna. So, quickly as I like…

Puzzling Out the Expansion Draft…

…is something I’ll leave for someone else, specifically Matt “Armpit Analyst” Doyle. The confusing stuff mostly surrounds the Clint Irwin/Mark Bloom situation, but, when it comes to MLS’s roster rules and accounting mechanisms, my shorthand for the whole is, “shit’s fucked up.” Doubt I’ll never do more than dip my toe into that tiny pond of minutiae; eyes glazed over while reading Doyle’s analysis. I did read long enough to see that Doyle shared my confusion that neither team picked up Jared Watts.

Happy for that Bloom kid, though. Players packed up for locales other than Atlanta and Minnesota United FC’s, of course. Some interesting stuff out there.

From the Swampy South to the Great White North

The Houston Dynamo sent right back Sheanon Williams to the Vancouver Whitecaps, and that feels like a smart move for the ‘Caps. If memory serves, savvy ‘Caps fans griped that their team let go of too many crucial players going into 2016, Steven Beitashour among them (no fullback, big cry?). Williams reads to me like one of those players who bounces around a bit, but who also always seems able to find work, if not the field. Probably leaves Fraser Aird wondering what’s around the corner for his career (exciting new opportunities? a demotion, but also a really great seat for watching ‘Caps games? so many potentialities!).

An Aging Star Arrives

Raise your hand if you figured Jermaine Jones to the Los Angeles was more or less a done deal the second they let word of the conversation slip. Whatever you thought, it happened. Because I doubted Jones when he moved to the Colorado Rapids, I’ll hold my tongue on this one…except to acknowledge that, in real terms, the Rapids did what they did this season without Jones. Going the other way, he was also the best player on the field in the second leg of the Western Conference Final. Put those thoughts together and it feels like the smart money goes on Jones doing Jermaine Jones things in LA, but how often?

On Sprucing Up the Place

Stray reports note interest in returning/coming to MLS from a couple of U.S. Men’s National Team “bubble boys” – e.g. Tim Ream and Greg Garza (respectively; did Garza ever play in MLS? Eh, better question is whether it was long enough to matter). Their personal motives notwithstanding, and even as moves like this can be interpreted a couple ways, player returns like this feel less like coming home with tail tucked between legs these days than a credible career step.

If you disagree, well, I guess I’ll have to fight you.

He Who Does Not Have Permission to Move

In Portland Timbers news, one site (just bookmarked!) reported that the Timbers message to Glasgow Rangers, and any other team that comes inquiring, to keep their filthy grasping hands off star striker Fanendo Adi. I view this as a good thing. Unless Adi’s quietly pissy about the whole thing. Anyone out there know him well enough to receive his confidences? No? Any psychics? Masters of Tarot? Messy tea drinkers?

Finally, to the Hundreds ofThousands of New Fans, Who Turned into MLS Cup 2016:

Sorry about that. MLS Soccer totally isn’t always like that. Can I forward you video from the Toronto / Montreal series?

The Late (Late) Tackle, 12 12 2016: The Expansion Draft, Data on Cup v. Shield, and an Accidental MLS 2016 Review

At least one metaphor for what MLS needs right now.

A couple items tonight, one actual contemporary commentary, the other clean up from yesterday. In order of urgency…which depends on how one defines urgency, I guess.

The Expansion Draft, and the Portland Timbers, and the Expansion Draft

As has already been discussed on twitter today, and at some length and in some depth, all of Major League Soccer clubs made their (not really) Sophie’s Choice as to which players on their rosters to protect, and which to offer up to…the Germans? (Pretty sure it’s the Germans in Sophie's Choice, but not sure on the iteration of Germans – e.g. the thwarted imperialists, or the actual dickheads (e.g. Nazis)).

At any rate, Portland cast the following to the Huns (jingo!): Dairon “On Loan” Asprilla, Jack “Not Nick” Barmby, Nat “Retired?” Borchers, Kennedy “JK!” Igboananike, Chris “Who?” Klute, Jack “What The Hell?” McInerney, Jermaine “Conifers & Citrus Player of the Year” Taylor, Steven “Please Go” Taylor, Zarek…wow, there are, like, a lot of dudes listed here. OK, the rest are Zarek “Don’t Care” Valentin, Ben “Still here?” Zemanski, Nick “Forgotte…look, never mind. I’m getting closer to “full asshole” with each nickname, so I’ll shut that off before feelings get hurt (and folks start making assumptions). The point is, the Timbers didn’t expose a lot in the way of “key” personnel. Also, that’s not necessarily a comment on the quality of the players exposed. Some of those shitty nicknames notwithstanding, on the other hand...

In all honesty, last season was bad enough that I’d like to think even the “safe players” (bar, seriously, three) experienced a little heart flutter when the list went out. Gentlemen…

As for the Expansion Draft as a whole, I guess the only thing left to ask is which players I would take if I were either Atlanta or Minneapolis FC United (gotta say, the unoriginality/overlap in those team names has its upside). And, here’s that, followed by a brief explanation for each choice.

The Late Tackle, 12 07 2016: More MLS Cup Crap, Portland and Expansion, Plus Expansion (and Sad Mix)

No, please. Throw away my shit for me.

For anyone who cares about such things, I’m trying to choose how many items to cover in these daily things. I’m hung up between three topics and five. Split the difference today. But one of ‘em feels weak. Shit. Anyway…

More MLS Cup Crap

The work of hyping a cup final takes many shapes and runs from good to bad (not to pick on that last one but it's only of interest to someone who hasn’t paid attention at all for the last month). As for the good stuff, I bumped into a couple today: one a tactical preview (but with a shitty title, at least on mobile: “Jordan Morris Poses Problems for TFC,” which really sells it short), which dives decently deep into things (personally, I found the Armando Cooper stuff enlightening); the other, which also didn’t promise much by title, looks at how the MLS contestants, (again) Seattle Sounders and Toronto FC, built their rosters. It’s more of a how-to than it looks, especially the stuff about both club’s academies. If I had to give a long-term edge of any kind between the two teams, it’d go to Toronto. Take away Jordan Morris (please!), and I’d rate Toronto’s pool higher.

On a note that relates only because these two teams are in the Cup, I read somewhere that Nick Hagglund has “become a force” on set-pieces. I’m hung up on “maybe” for now, because I don’t think TFC can count on the absolute shit marking that Montreal put on Hagglund in the first leg.

One more on MLS Cup, and those participating in it. It’s cool to see TFC’s Jozy Altidore pick up a littlehype, because he’s playing out of his goddamn mind right now. I’m thinking back, specifically, to a back-heel that he used to set up one of Toronto’s goals against Montreal. Next-level shit, kid. and from a guy I still call the smartest man in MLS.

The Late Tackle, 12 01 2016 - MLS Cup Finalists Finalized (Plus Everyone Else's Crappy Consolation Prize)

Like that, only with a couple consolation goals...

MLS Cup: Conference Champions...Revealed!

I never heard what Greg Vanney had to say just after halftime.

The 20-minute mini-game cut off the highlights right as Vanney, Toronto FC’s coach, was about to reveal his secrets – e.g. maybe that they’d channeled demons into Jozy Altidore (for he did play possessed), or that someone finally explained to Nick Hagglund, at long last, that he enjoys the freedom to score goals, as well as keep them out (or maybe that he was much bigger and faster than the Montreal Impact’s Marco Donadel). Vanney’s words could have explained everything, or nothing. What was clear from the start, though, was that Toronto hit the field turned up to 11 (shit, used a cliché). Nothing made that apparent quite like Michael Bradley’s slashing/manically-determined run into Montreal’s penalty area inside the first minute. (NOTE: Due to where and when I post, I only have the capacity to link to the match highlights; sorry for the inconvenience!)

Toronto simply never let up; if they ran over the Impact, they did it slowly. Or, rather than ran them over during the game, then backed over them in extra time. Count me among those shocked by Montreal’s set-piece defending (assuming such population exists). Hagglund got crazy-free twice (at least) and those lapses led to a panic/assist on (was it?) Toronto’s first, cleaned up by Armando Cooper (if memory serves), and the goal that forced extra time. At least Montreal had an excuse when it came to Hagglund – no one saw him coming – but, because they were warned about Altidore (see?), one has to ask just what the goofy fuck Montreal was thinking by letting Altidore run completely unmarked right before half; that was one hell of a tricky goal, but Jozy was good for it (again, possibly due to possession; there was no other word for how he approached the game all day, other than “surging”).

Montreal didn’t so much lie down, as protect its vitals for as long as it could while slipping in a couple pokes with a shiv. Dominic Oduro – who quietly put in a very credible year, as well as a rock-solid playoff run, which breaks his famous every-other-year pattern (congrats, kid!) – set himself up for the goal that could have won the series (against anything but a freight train) with the kind of touch he pulls off once every cycle of the moon. Piatti stuck in another one when he wrestled Montreal’s second goal over the goal-line. It was a brave performance, but Toronto was in what some folks call “a mood.”