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| Fucking poseurs. |
Welcome to the MLS Week 2 index, which, let me tell you, is
already a goddamn mess. I’ll try to stitch that into a coherent narrative over on
Orange & Blue Press, but the top-level take-aways for every team in MLS
appears below. While there are three perfect teams so far, only two of them feel
believable right now – that’s Los Angeles FC and Seattle Sounders – but
Minnesota United FC could take a step toward legit next weekend with a win against
the Los Angeles Galaxy…near LA. In the broader scheme, points aren’t everything yet – by which I mean that I wouldn’t call Real Salt Lake and the Houston
Dynamo better than Sporting Kansas City (hence the order below), or even Toronto FC until further
notice/results – and some deficits seem more endemic (e.g., the San Jose
Earthquakes) than others (e.g., the Philadelphia Union). Also, I see a brighter
future for some teams on 0 points (e.g., Vancouver Whitecaps) than I do for some
teams on 1 point (e.g., New England Revolution.
Overall, though, MLS Week 2 didn’t re-write the whole damn
script or anything. Some teams did goose their status (LAFC and Columbus Crew
SC, for me), and the San Jose Earthquakes already look doomed, but there’s more
wiggle going on in the MLS standings than you’ll ever see at a Wiggles concert.
Not that I’ve ever been to one. Anyway, the good stuff, the data, is below.
Oh, whoops. It occurred to me this morning that I totally
failed to explain the extra row at the bottom of all those tables down below,
so, with an eye to making amends: at the midway point to the regular season,
most teams’ patterns become entrenched enough for me to declare each team “IN”
(the playoffs), “OUT” (of the playoffs), or “MARGINAL” (because I don’t know
what the Hell to make of them). Over the past several seasons, the real “ins”
and shameful “outs” set pretty hard in the standings by the halfway mark and without
shifting around a ton, but isn’t that just the freak-case that proves the rule?
To give just one recent example, the Sounders picked up just 16 points from 17
games through the middle of last season, only to storm into the post-season
like one of those bullshit fast zombies that, when you get right down to it,
break the genre…but I digress.
Here’s are the results/infoboxes (what I call the gridded
stuff) after MLS Week 2.
MINNESOTA UNITED FC,
2-0-0, 6 points, 6 gf, 2 ga, (0-0-0 home, 2-0-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
W
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W
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@ VAN
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@ SJ
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3-2
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3-0
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N/A
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N/A
|
Current Judgment: If these games weren’t on the road…one
helluva start regardless. Worth keeping tabs on till further notice. And, yes,
I put them up here because I could.
Next Game: @ Los Angeles Galaxy…and if they win that one,
which wouldn’t surprise me…
