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| His eyes are my eyes, rn. |
Welcome to the first one of these quick-hit reviews that, with breaks for vacation(s) and sanity, I plan on posting every week of Major League Soccer’s 2024 regular season – and beyond! (Which, here, only means posting through the playoffs). Before getting into anything at all, here are the results from MLS Week 1:
Inter Miami CF 2-0 Real Salt Lake (actually watched all of this one; just too late to fold it in)
Columbus Crew SC 1-0 Atlanta United FC
Los Angeles FC 2-1 Seattle Sounders %
Charlotte FC 1-0 New York City FC
DC United 3-1 New England Revolution %
Orlando City SC 0-0 Club du Foot Montreal *
Philadelphia Union 2-2 Chicago Fire FC
Austin FC 1-2 Minnesota United FC %
FC Dallas 2-1 San Jose Earthquakes
Houston Dynamo FC 1-1 Sporting Kansas City *
St. Louis CITY FC 1-1 Real Salt Lake
Portland Timbers 4-1 Colorado Rapids
FC Cincinnati 0-0 Toronto FC
Nashville SC 0-0 Red Bull New York *
Los Angeles Galaxy 1-1 Inter Miami CF
First, I’ve embedded links to The Mothership’s game summaries under each final score. Second, the above has a pretty simple index:
% means I went beyond the highlights and box score and actually watched 45+ of the game in question.
* means I ignored the game entirely.
[No Symbol] means I checked the highlights and the box score and maybe read a thing or two (which doesn’t mean I remembered it).
Now, I’ll do two things through the rest of the post. Third(?), will be a long paragraph – perhaps even a run-on sentence - that flags your more interesting results for the week just past. Everything under that goes under the titled The Grand Narrative. Fourth (now that I’m rolling with it), I’ll close on notes on all the games I either reviewed (%) or glanced at ([No Symbol]). Ready, set, go!
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| Still not Decision Day...sigh... |
The Grand Narrative
To state the obvious, not a single one of the results from MLS Week 1 means anything, Your local team may or not have enjoyed a good start, but there’s still a stupid amount of season left to play. Seriously, it’s half-meaningless shit from here till Halloween, maybe even Thanksgiving, so it’s up to you to get all the “ya-yas” you can from all that and here's to hoping it repays the effort. That doesn’t mean, however, that this game or that didn’t give fans and neutrals a little thrill this past weekend. With that, let’s dig into the best stuff…
I had DC’s 3-1 romp over the Revs as my top-line result until I read that Giacomo Vrioni got sent off at the 25th on a more reasonable yellow than his very stupid first one. DC’s win got as much hype as any result from Week 1, so I’m going to push back gently with this: New England looked better than I expected based on the press (as in reporting) and CCC (CONCACAF Champions’ Cup) travel. DC posted absolutely crazy stats and their xG bordered on the exotic – and, here, I’ll freely admit that I might have missed the best of their chances, despite taking in 50+ minutes – but it looked like a lot of rushing and flailing based on what I watched. My actual result of the week turned out to be…drum roll…Minnesota’s actual stroll over Austin, in Austin. You’ll find more notes below, but this one had, 1) confirmation bias written all over (re Austin, who come up in some Wooden Spoon convos), and 2) hints and whispers about a sneaky upside for Minnesota. Moving on, Armchair Analyst Matt Doyle made a biggish deal about CCC fatigue (see link under “a thing” above”), so that may have left Philly a little leggy against an enthusiastic visiting Chicago team – and maybe that’s why Cincy’s goalless outing versus Toronto didn’t register – but I’m curious enough about what Chicago’s doing to put a pin in that result (then again, I’m consistently curious about Chicago…also, hold that thought). The interesting results round out with Charlotte FC’s win over NYCFC – though, see notes below - and the Timbers score-line beat-down of the Colorado Rapids raised its share of eyebrows/tents. I floated extended thoughts about the latter in a separate post, but I’d call the argument that pundits puffed the Rapids’ rebuild – or at least the timing of it (but also probably not that) – as the big takeaway from that one. Great win for the Timbers and all – and that’s one boffo final score – but Colorado’s growing pains/actual personnel feels, for lack of a better word, relevant.
To throw a passing glance at the games I ignored, Nashville and the Red Bulls playing to a goalless draw feels almost natural Houston tying SKC in any year and every season since the dawn of time (i.e., yes, this has been a truth since before the founding of the league, indeed recorded time), I’ve touched on Cincy’s frankly disappointing (yet still ignored) home draw versus Toronto above, and, sure, maybe there is something to Doyle’s CCC theory, seeing that Orlando just comfortably eliminated Cavalry FC earlier tonight just days after falling flat versus Montreal. And yet I read that Orlando over-thought their attacking moments, if that hasn’t been the knock on Orlando since they’ve become competitive, I haven’t heard a better candidate.
Right. Let’s keep this moving, moving, moving, people. Let’s close this puppy out with quick notes on the games I either glanced or stared at.
Columbus Crew SC 1-0 Atlanta United FC
Impression: Expected, but still impressive.
The rumors were true on this one: Cucho Hernandez ran riot, Columbus created sterling chances through the first half, and even forced a PK save out of Atlanta’s Brad Guzan. For all that, Atlanta looked far from helpless and there’s no shame in losing to a still healthy and hale defending champion team on the road.
Charlotte FC 1-0 New York City FC
Impression: NYC looked impotent, despite the stats
Charlotte won on a tap-in put-back from center back Adilson Malanda, who cleaned up a brave near-post run/muscling lean from (winger?) Iuri Tavares, but the real story was how crap/useless NYC looked in the attack. I don’t have a lot to add after that besides, 1) I like that Charlotte signed Junior Urso (I think he’s good) and 2) Kerwin Vargas played a compelling hero/villain in the footage the highlights gave us, talent, meet limitation, etc.
Philadelphia Union 2-2 Chicago Fire FC
Impression: Looked wild, both teams feeling urgency; not the start Philly wanted, but Chicago showing up on attacking side feels like the real story.
After that, that Andrew Gutman went down with a non-contact injury feels like one sub-head for this section of notes. Another goes to the Fire’s Brian Gutierrez, who scored a goddamn banger, and features prominently in the highlight reel. If I had to flag the most unexpected detail, I’d go with Philly’s Quinn Sullivan taking almost as many bows as Gutierrez. In line with the Revs loss, the Union looked pretty damn capable in this one, the system works, and Daniel Gazdag just keeps going.
FC Dallas 2-1 San Jose Earthquakes
Impression: Dallas’ rebuild looks all right, if at a glance.
I know so little about so many of the players that Dallas lined up – e.g., Logan Farrington, Asier Illaramendi, and Dante Sealy – that I barely feel qualified to comment. At the same time, who scored for Dallas but Illaramendi and Sealy (and the first was…whew!). The only caveat here: I don’t know how much of a threat the ‘Quakes pose to Dallas or anybody, really. For as much as I’ve underrated Benjamin Kikanovic and for all Cristian Espinoza’s real quality, the dearth of creativity in San Jose’s middle three (assuming they stick with the 4-3-3) really makes you wonder.
St. Louis CITY FC 1-1 Real Salt Lake
Impression: I thought RSL looked better…
It didn’t come easy for the hosts, and it may not have happened at all had Samuel Adeniran not left Brayan Vera for dead on the wide-right side of the field, but, despite them only picking up one point from their two first games, RSL still present as a competitive team in the West based on everything I’ve seen from them so far (~100+ minutes of soccer). Fwiw, Eduard Lowen is the player I’d love for the Timbers Evander to be. He’s just a shining example of the best you get from that position.
DC United 3-1 New England Revolution
Impression: Less ignore the narrative, than speculate about the ceiling for DC's approach.
To build on the notes above – though only so much, as I’m going to preview DC United’s visit to Portland in a separate post – DC looked genuinely dangerous in this game. For as long as the teams played on even ground, they ruthlessly harassed every New England player that so much as looked at the ball (Matt Polster, in particular, struggled). The Revs started as if they wanted to play any fucking game but the one they were in, but, even after Vrioni got sent off (total dipshit move, fwiw), they demonstrated a very real and reliable ability to play through DC’s press and find chances. Had they been able to cash in early on a clear, polished breakaway by Tomas Chancaly and Carles Gil’s GOTW/friggin’ worldie, no one would be talking about this result. Christian Benteke deserves every hat trick he gets if only because the man fucking works, but he feasted on scraps in a way that one can only appreciate by watching those goals in context. It's not so much low percentage as, something that could break the wrong way on the right day. If I had to contextualize this win and the way DC played, my best spin would be this: the thing that made the best Red Bull teams of the 2010s great was the technical talent they had – e.g., Thierry Henry, Bradley Wright-Phillips, Sacha Kljestan. DC’s roster has some of that, but there’s a fair element of wait-and-see in the mix.
Austin FC 1-2 Minnesota United FC
Impression: An ass-whooping, followed by rope-a-hosting-dope.
The thing to remember here: Minnesota won this game walking away without Emanuel Reynoso, Bongokuhle Hlongwane, and Kerwin Arriaga. Going the other way, Austin didn’t have Sebastian Driussi…and yet I feel like Driussi wouldn’t have wade one wit of difference. When I tuned in (circa the 30th minute) the broadcast booth was already taking about how the game could have been 3-0 to Minnesota. Robin Lod, for me, one of the most underrated players in MLS, scored just four minutes later – and that was after pinging a far better shot off a post three minutes earlier. It might have taken Minnesota days to bag the insurance goal, but that was nothing more or less than them doing something good for the 10th time, aka, what Austin failed to do once all night. Austin’s consolation goal barely merits the name. Very much related, I’ve already seen them in the Wooden Spoon conversation and can’t say I saw a reason why they don’t belong in it.
Los Angeles FC 2-1 Seattle Sounders
Impression: How much time and place matter.
Along with the few commentators I follow, I feel like Seattle held enough of their own in this one (and what do you think of those jerseys? I mean besides the fact they look like cute little PJs your very young child might choose in a soccer video game). They broke LAFC’s press and, around the time I started watching (circa the 35th minute), they staged a fairly threatening siege on LAFC’s goal. The way LAFC counter-punched out of that gave a live demonstration of the upside of talent and they put (enough of) the game away with a wunder-goal by Mateusz Bogusz shortly after the half (even if the thing to watch there is how much Denis Bouanga's gravity opened space for Bogusz). Still, LAFC follows a familiar and effective template and, if the broadcast is to believed, they have rebuilt the team to make it work, starting with the return of (is he the best No. 8 in MLS?) Eduard Atuesta – i.e., force turnovers higher up the field and go to goal as if the power of Jesus compels you(!). That worked in Week 1, if nothing else. If I have a regret when it comes to what I watched, that would be not spending enough time watching Pedro de la Vega’s first minutes in MLS. Fuck it, I have, like, 33 games and ten fucking years to get current on that, so, yolo…
That’s a wrap for this edition. I hope to tighten up the formula and the commentary – and to post these on Mondays instead of Tuesdays – but that’s for next week. Till then….
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