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| Spinderella vibes. |
What in the sweet, sweaty balls of Chubby Checker was that? A 1-2 loss at Providence Park to a team that is both historically and currently bad, obviously, but...well, how the fuck does that happen? Yes, even in a fucking “transition” season.
To recap, the Portland Timbers failed to capitalize on a glorious opening - one carried to potentiality by the divine wind of the gods (or gremlins in the turf tripping the Chicago Fire’s last defender), I might add – due its latest (literal?) record fucking signing losing the ball in his feet at the critical and yet somehow eternal moment (I yelled “Boli! Boli!” to no one in particular for felt like a full minute; in here somewhere, or least it should be), and then the Fire score a soul-stealer of a winner – what? – ten minutes later. To paraphrase a prescient, and now-curs’d man on twitter, “now watch [Kei Kamara] rise like a salmon to score.” And so he did.
Short version, the Chicago Fire (the Fire!) beat the Timbers 2-1 tonight and, to paraphrase a great Dan Savage bit, this is not the match review I wanted to type tonight. Like I say to the dentist every time, let’s get this bullshit over with.
I didn’t see any clear reason why Chicago won tonight. Sure, they started the first half well, and the second, but, as suggested by The Mothership’s xG graph (which is to say I agree with it, and scroll down), no flashing red lights announced either team’s intention to score. Will Robinson was not in danger. My anxiety about the Timbers generally and damnable lolly-gagging bubbled over into the game thread about five minutes after I felt it; the time had come to push the game, push it real good...
...and that’s the story, isn’t it? This current – a word I mean in the hyper-present tense* - simply doesn’t have it in them to push the game, never mind real good (Don’t talk about the win over Seattle...not now). The grasping at straws continues – and full credit to Marvin Loria, a player I pick at every time I mention his name, for finally showing some kind of urgency with his stoppage time shot and forcing a corner kick, but that showed up 20 minutes past too fucking late. Just four, five minutes prior, I watched and wondered when I’d see any Timbers player show for the ball in a way that felt like a demand. I can’t name one player who showed a clear, unflinching willingness to take charge of this game.
To recap, the Portland Timbers failed to capitalize on a glorious opening - one carried to potentiality by the divine wind of the gods (or gremlins in the turf tripping the Chicago Fire’s last defender), I might add – due its latest (literal?) record fucking signing losing the ball in his feet at the critical and yet somehow eternal moment (I yelled “Boli! Boli!” to no one in particular for felt like a full minute; in here somewhere, or least it should be), and then the Fire score a soul-stealer of a winner – what? – ten minutes later. To paraphrase a prescient, and now-curs’d man on twitter, “now watch [Kei Kamara] rise like a salmon to score.” And so he did.
Short version, the Chicago Fire (the Fire!) beat the Timbers 2-1 tonight and, to paraphrase a great Dan Savage bit, this is not the match review I wanted to type tonight. Like I say to the dentist every time, let’s get this bullshit over with.
I didn’t see any clear reason why Chicago won tonight. Sure, they started the first half well, and the second, but, as suggested by The Mothership’s xG graph (which is to say I agree with it, and scroll down), no flashing red lights announced either team’s intention to score. Will Robinson was not in danger. My anxiety about the Timbers generally and damnable lolly-gagging bubbled over into the game thread about five minutes after I felt it; the time had come to push the game, push it real good...
...and that’s the story, isn’t it? This current – a word I mean in the hyper-present tense* - simply doesn’t have it in them to push the game, never mind real good (Don’t talk about the win over Seattle...not now). The grasping at straws continues – and full credit to Marvin Loria, a player I pick at every time I mention his name, for finally showing some kind of urgency with his stoppage time shot and forcing a corner kick, but that showed up 20 minutes past too fucking late. Just four, five minutes prior, I watched and wondered when I’d see any Timbers player show for the ball in a way that felt like a demand. I can’t name one player who showed a clear, unflinching willingness to take charge of this game.
