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| Seriously? Again with these same fucking animals? |
That was one weird goddamn game, so much so that I would have coughed up a totally different take had I written up it last night (or been able to; I took a wrong fork on the double header). I got one vague impression from watching live last night, and a second, sharper impression after reviewing 2/9th of the action (hello, condensed game). It’s the latter that fever-piqued my curiosity about the box score – of which, it’s worth the look.
For one, it reveals that, after a disastrous, here-we-go-again start to the match, the Portland Timbers wrestled just about every number to either parity or a slight edge in their favor. Everyone noticed that Portland had a very late shout for a penalty kick thanks to a hand-ball in the penalty area, but it’s possible that everyone (including me) missed that Jeremy Ebobisse got fouled on his 75th minute attempt on goal. If you watch the replay, you should see a rather egregious, well-timed shove in Ebobisse’s back. (Related: I’m hoping that Instant Replay reviews that handball because, in what’s become a paranoia-tinged tradition, MLSSoccer.com has started to bury blown calls). Neither call was made, obviously, and FC Dallas walked off the field with a 2-1 win, but neither team should feel good about the ultimate result, if for opposite reasons – Dallas, for almost failing to win at home, Portland for getting lightly screwed.
Close as Portland came to rescuing a point out of this game, and for all the positives I can wring out of it (you’ll be surprised, honestly), I can’t bring myself to calling the result itself positive. Dropping more points sucks, obviously and a team lining up in a 5-3-2 hardly sings “we’re gonna win the league!” in a tune anyone wants to hum along with. Worse, I can’t think of the last time I saw anything demoralizing as the fuck-up cascade that was Portland’s second goal, which achieved the mysterious depths of, say, someone losing his arms or legs, like they just fell off out of the blue for no discernible goddamn reason. (The first was no peach either; for anyone interested in reliving it, click on the “here we-go again start.”) Finally, when I reviewed the condensed game, I kept a loose tally of all the clean looks Dallas got on goal – i.e., massive openings that should haveended in goals (Jesus Ferreira had a good game; just file that away), but that instead ended up as generic “shots” in the box score. (Seriously, some stats are so heavily conditioned that I’m not sure how much sense it makes to count them.)
For one, it reveals that, after a disastrous, here-we-go-again start to the match, the Portland Timbers wrestled just about every number to either parity or a slight edge in their favor. Everyone noticed that Portland had a very late shout for a penalty kick thanks to a hand-ball in the penalty area, but it’s possible that everyone (including me) missed that Jeremy Ebobisse got fouled on his 75th minute attempt on goal. If you watch the replay, you should see a rather egregious, well-timed shove in Ebobisse’s back. (Related: I’m hoping that Instant Replay reviews that handball because, in what’s become a paranoia-tinged tradition, MLSSoccer.com has started to bury blown calls). Neither call was made, obviously, and FC Dallas walked off the field with a 2-1 win, but neither team should feel good about the ultimate result, if for opposite reasons – Dallas, for almost failing to win at home, Portland for getting lightly screwed.
Close as Portland came to rescuing a point out of this game, and for all the positives I can wring out of it (you’ll be surprised, honestly), I can’t bring myself to calling the result itself positive. Dropping more points sucks, obviously and a team lining up in a 5-3-2 hardly sings “we’re gonna win the league!” in a tune anyone wants to hum along with. Worse, I can’t think of the last time I saw anything demoralizing as the fuck-up cascade that was Portland’s second goal, which achieved the mysterious depths of, say, someone losing his arms or legs, like they just fell off out of the blue for no discernible goddamn reason. (The first was no peach either; for anyone interested in reliving it, click on the “here we-go again start.”) Finally, when I reviewed the condensed game, I kept a loose tally of all the clean looks Dallas got on goal – i.e., massive openings that should haveended in goals (Jesus Ferreira had a good game; just file that away), but that instead ended up as generic “shots” in the box score. (Seriously, some stats are so heavily conditioned that I’m not sure how much sense it makes to count them.)
