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| Only picture Stalin. |
To continue from the title, this became a real issue when FC
Cincinnati took a 4-0 lead over Atlanta United Muppet Babies. Atlanta United 2.
No disrespect. It just popped into my head.
Anyway, Cincinnati took a 4-0 lead over The Stripes (see, FC
Cincy? a quick, catchy nickname) at the 55th minute and, that crystalized the
scenario: Atlanta 2, The Prophecy (last one). OK, for real.
When Cincinnati took a 4-0 lead over Atlanta 2, two realities
were clear: Atlanta 2 would never stop making just egregious mistakes in
defense - the stuff of nightmares - and, if Cincinnati kept playing with the
same intensity, the game would end with a score high enough to break wills,
maybe even cause some of those young scamps to consider going back to school
for a highly-fungible philosophy degree. Cincinnati had already killed the
game, basically, but with 35 minutes left on the clock. And all those people
watching.
So, what to do? How do you sell that to the fans? Since they
can’t throw in the towel to end a game (think of the power of that as a
motivational tool for a coach!), can professional soccer teams land on a kind of
soccer/pro-wrestling hybrid that lets the right team walk out with the win,
while still keeping the fans entertained?
A comeback is out of the question, obviously, and what team
can’t benefit from working another muscle out there - say, playing “live-fire
keep-away” (aka, keeping possession in a competitive game) to kill a game
without the game even knowing it (ninja) - something FC Cincy started doing
around the 76th minute (and, full disclosure, I started fast-forwarding the archived
feed from that point forward). This game could only end with a scenario that
played out once in my own backyard, only with Cincinnati as the cat, and
Atlanta 2 as the bird she was too stupid to kill. (That brings me back to the
mascot issue: FC Cincy didn’t think of biting the whole “Bearcat” thing? Just
for another nickname?) So, no universe existed in which this game is
competitive and, how does a team play 35 minutes of back-foot soccer without
bleeding even a couple unmerited goal-differential-eating goals?
Short answer: the Orange and Blue (see? too long) managed
the game by absorbing pressure when they had to and, whenever Atlanta 2 started
pressing against the unspoken rules of live-fire keep-away, Cincinnati would
send players forward. And, after a period when that détente seemed to get a
little fuzzy for Atlanta 2, Cincinnati turned the…post-fatal screw and raised
the score to its final 5-1 score line (for highlights, box scores, and more, see the match center!).
Look, the game was comically unclose. Atlanta 2 held
possession with, honestly, remarkable poise and, sometimes, elegance for a team
that, by the looks of them, are two years into legal drinking on average (per
the Match Center, which has all the stats and video I can offer). They have
some sincerely talented players out there: Jon Gallagher, Jack Metcalf, George
Bello, and, personal favorite, Laurent Kissiedou. After a lot of thought - and
he’s hard to place - I wound up equating him to Eddie Gaven. Regardless,
Kissiedou had the entire, “make-shit-happen” minute somewhere in the early 60s,
and that was genuinely impressive, even if it only threatened to reverse the
tides. Also, Devon Sandoval could have dropped the ball to Kissiedou, instead
of spinning and taking that shot around the 32nd minute – though, in Sandoval’s
defense, that turn nearly came off (and credit to Spencer Richey for stuffing it).
They’re not a terrible team, Atlanta United 2…and Shawn Nicklaw fired an
absolute cruise missile to give them their lone goal.
But, Jesus Christ, if they don’t give more assists to the opposition
than all the opposition’s midfielders combined? Like a change machine you only
need to whistle at, I tell you…
Honestly, there’s not
a ton to say about this one - though I do have some….well, harsher thoughts(?)
down below. Even without the mistakes –
and even without Emanuel Ledesma, or even Danni Konig (where, by the way?) –
Cincinnati cut through Atlanta 2 like a knife sharpened by The Bavarian Edge.
It was bad enough that they got away with missing absolutely sitters – see, Nazmi
Albadawi, at least twice in the first 30 minutes of the game, including a
near-assist by Atlanta Dos’ ‘keeper. Scoring his first goal in the 24th
minute (which wrapped up a short, sharp team goal) cleared his head nicely, and
he played a big role in the dismantling from there. Something similar happened
with Emory Welshman; after wandering aimlessly through the first half, Welshman
played a decisive roles in (going from memory) at least two goals. Did someone
crawl into his ear and scream at him at the half, or did someone give him one
of those “You got this” looks that starts 90% of third acts? Whatever happened,
it worked and, as if justice blessed the moment, both players combined for
Cincinnati’s 4th goal- aka, the “let’s discuss etiquette” moment for this game
- and, again, that’s where things got weird.
In my personal universe, this was the same old, same old. FC
Cincinnati always wins because that is always what I’ve seen FC Cincinnati do.
Before I pick at some scabs, I want to highlight something great in the starter/substitution
patterns tonight: Fatai Alashe (nice goal, kid!) and Michael Lahoud. Alashe has
a knack for creating a dead-zone in the space around him, aka, what they call,
gravity, a kind of “thou shall not pass field” that extends from his person. Lahoud,
on the other hand, tracks and picks pockets; he’s mobile and tactical, always
reading: it’s a subtle difference, but they’re both anchors, but, also, really
different kinds of anchors. One replaced the other tonight (Lahoud for Alashe),
and I’m wondering if they couldn’t play side-by-side in some way. Better still,
or worse, where could (emphasis deliberate) Kenney Walker fit into that scheme?
If nothing else, his range of passing gives FC Cincy another, useful way to
operate. I’d like to see both Alashe and Lahoud out there before too long, just
to see how they do.
But, to return to the question I’ll ask every day till MLS
First Kick 2019, will that be enough when this team starts competing in Major
League Soccer? I know Alashe better than Lahoud – and I’d argue he had a
similar approach to/impact on the games he played for the San Jose Earthquakes;
for all that, he rarely decided games, never mind dominated them. Lahoud,
meanwhile, I know better in his current/USL incarnation – and he’s good there, the
pick-pocketing noted above, but also a distribution hub that dishes short,
quick accurate passes – but he had an “oh, yeah, that guy!” presence in MLS; he
started just 56 for the Philadelphia Union over four years (doing the math: that’s
less than half the games started for the time he was there). I rate Lahoud
better than your average USL midfielder at his position – and I think Alashe
will ultimately take the larger role - but I’ve also seen the latter bounce
against a ceiling (and Cincy fans caught a glimpse of his capacity for marking
himself out of games), and Lahoud’s career took the path it did, y’know?
As with Adi, having those guys for comparison gives me a
couple apples (players in the familiar, MLS context; also my favorite fruit!) to
weigh in comparisons against the USL context (uh, I need another fruit,
similar, but not as good; pears?). All the above is laced heavily with
implications – among them, playing a clearly youthful (and, per the broadcast
booth, unfamiliar) team to the edge of a mercy-killing, but also the
apples-to-pears thing just mentioned – and, together, they leave me confident
about the rest of 2018, yet decidedly anxious about 2019. To come at that from
the other side, how do you say “no” to bringing players like Alashe and Lahoud,
but also, how do you look around that history? Trust me, I’m pulling for a lot
of these guys as if they were my sister, and she was on The Bachelor and vying
with class (as they do) to get that last rose, but…I’m also seeing the “necessity”
of a Soviet-style purge of this roster if they want to be anything but…well,
San Jose or Philly next season. (Also, Soviet purges were pointless and
grotesque.)
Now that I’ve bummed out everyone with that whole “don’t get
attached” line of reasoning, I may as well put name a player that I can’t see
making the jump – and to briefly bemoan the unfairness of it all. Jimmy
McLaughlin played very well last night; I’d even argue he was the rare player
who had his head and feet on the same page from one whistle to the other. He also
kept the wheels from coming off on Cincinnati’s second goal (Welshman’s cross
was smart, but a little long) and…look, just something about his name makes me
feel guilty; “Jimmy McLaughlin” sounds like a good-hearted country kid in a war
movie, one that you just know will get bumped off early and give a heartbreaker
of a speech about a gal back home he can’t wait to see again, right before
eating it. Anyway, if I had to make a cut today, he wouldn’t go up. He’s smart,
he works his ass off, but he doesn’t have outstanding skills, enough speed, or
just enough…anything to play in his current position in MLS. I can’t see him
transitioning to another role, or as a super-sub, etc. etc.
And, for what it’s worth, that’s the kind of player I see as
the ones who will fall off the roster first. That said, he’s got a solid future
in the USL – and I’d guess for as long as his body holds out. It’s a tough business.
That’s all on this one.
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