DC United 4-1 Portland Timbers: The Subtle Brilliance of Plausible Deniability

Audi Field, artist's rendering.

I’ve been whining about giving key Portland Timbers rest since, well, what was universally accepted as a flat performance against the Vancouver Whitecaps over the weekend, when the Timbers lost 1-2 at home. I’m not going to re-litigate that particular point - that said, more on that later - but, in the wake of the kind of demoralizing thrashing the Timbers haven’t seen since a head-full-of-doubts March (which lead to a sputtering April, remember), I do want to expand on a point I didn’t realize until after the final whistle blew.

To start at the beginning, the Timbers lost 1-fucking-4 to DC United tonight, aka, formerly the second-worst team in Major League Soccer (stay classy, San Jose Earthquakes!). To their credit, and in Portland’s defense (just generally, as opposed to the defense specifically), DC, 1) always had ground to make up due to a second-half slew of home games (because Audi Field), and 2) they’d added Wayne Rooney, of England international fame, into their line-up in mid-July.

Nothing about that particular set of circumstances - e.g., fatigue for the Timbers/DC upgrading and playing in happier climes - augured this kind of blowout. And, yes, it was a blow-out: take away the 10-15 minutes before and around the time Samuel Armenteros made it possible to believe everything would be all right, DC was the better team tonight (emphasis added, and intended). All the same, nothing about tonight was inevitable. And, in that precise sense, I understand the math - i.e., going with your best players against the perceived weaker team with an eye to guaranteeing at least one win on this two-game road-swing (it ends at Sporting Kansas City, and on Saturday…huzzah?), and then (serious question, then?) maybe the team rests players who’ve been bleeding for this team throughout its, in light of this loss, frankly incredible 15-game unbeaten streak. I’m not just talking Diego Valeri, even though he’s the guy I keep mentioning; I’m talking Diego Chara, Sebastian Blanco, even Larrys Mabiala and Julio Cascante. And with the way I’m seeing a lot of people shit all over the defense tonight, I can’t imagine anyone complaining about the latter - more on that later too. None of that happened, though: instead, Portland trotted out the same old team and, after a sluggish start, they survived, even willed themselves into the lead. And, just when they thought they could earn their rest, Audi Field turned into a cauldron of fucking piranhas! Auugghhh!!!

I’m exaggerating (and italicizing and using that for the image) for effect, but, after the game, I had another thought on why you might want to rest some of these players: not just to keep them fresh, but to keep them believing. Portland played their stars tonight - and characterize the word “stars” as you need to - and, by the end of the game, they got ran over twice, and backed-up over twice more for good measure. And, bluntly, I think that decision hurt a lot more than it could have. If you reduce the risk/reward equation to its barest level, this boiled down to risking a loss with your best players on short rest, and with no excuses, versus risking a loss with a B-Team and a multiplicity of excuses. That’s my revelation: with this loss, Portland burnt legs, morale, and plausible deniability, for both team and fans, and that’s on top of burning three points.

I can imagine the counter-point(s) - e.g., the greats play through pain and fatigue and still find a way. My response to that is, sure, but if there’s no point - and there isn’t here - then why do it? To make matters maddeningly worse, why in the name of sweet Jesus’ sailor tattoo do you play Blanco and Valeri for 73 and 78 minutes, respectively, only to bring on Dairon “Can’t Score, Won’t Score” Asprilla to wander around the field for 12 minutes at the end? What the fuck does that accomplish for anyone? Blanco still ran his damn legs off, Valeri is fucking tanked, and now what the Hell do you do about this Saturday? What’s the game plan besides not getting run over versus a recently-revitalized SKC? (Just to note it, I thought Gio Savarese handled Tomas Conechny’s introduction well enough.) Bottom line, the team got coached to the worst possible outcome and for nothing, because, as tweeted earlier today, Portland doesn’t have a shot in Hell at the Supporters’ Shield, or the U.S. Open Cup, and that leaves MLS Cup. That reality calls for managing minutes, regardless of opponent, but very, very conscious of schedule and circumstance.

Now, after that red-hot gripe-fest, I want to slow down, take a step back, and think a little harder about what happened today. First of all, I did not see a loss coming, never mind a loss of this Jupiter-esque gravity, and anyone can unearth the tweets to prove it (@JeffBull5; go on, kick me). To continue the face-saving dodges in Tweet 5 and (less openly) 6, I forgot about a couple players on DC’s roster - Paul Arriola and Yamil Asad chief among them. Those players are, in a word “energetic,” and both of them helped put Portland through Hell for as long as they played tonight. That said - and this picks up on a theme I mentioned in the (short(er)) Week 24 review, specifically in re: the New York Red Bulls' 1-0 road win over the Chicago Fire, personnel matters. The most blunt way I can underline that is this: I sensed….no, I knew the game was over when Wayne Rooney stepped up for the free-kick that lead to DC’s third goal. And bitching about the foul that lead to it is like complaining about rain after the water rises over your front doorstep.

Rooney and Acosta tormented the Timbers all night - with Acosta, no worse came than when the tiny fucker waltzed through 4, 5 Portland defenders to set up Oniel Fisher for DC’s second goal. Both of Rooney and Acosta play withdrawn - ironically, the way Valeri and Blanco like to play (so you’d think Portland would be keyed in on that one) - and that’s where the continuously found, or stepped into (see Fisher’s goal) the gap between the defense and the midfield; Rooney’s first (back-breaking) goal was the worst occasion of both defenders and midfielders losing him until “Oh, shit!” popped into Cascante’s mind a full two seconds too late. And, to underline another point, Asad played that ball. Pressure, guys? Anywhere out there? (And if you watch Rooney through the length of that first goal, you should feel a little queasy.) What I want to highlight more than anything else, is where those attacks started: in Portland's midfield. Sure, the defenders should step up, but they also shouldn't be as exposed as they were on every goal, but DC's 4th. That's my source of concern after this one.

After that, I’m mostly pissed that Darren Mattocks donned his “panic cleats” for as long as he played for Portland. We really could have used this kind of finish when the Jamaican wore the green and gold, yeah?

I don’t have a lot to add. I mean, this was a brutal loss and, again, one the coaching staff, 1) made key players swallow, 2) without giving them real rest (and the potential for fatigue injuries, and a potential blow to their morale), and, 3) in pursuit of nothing meaningful. Most of the Timbers team looked leg-drunk by game’s end (seriously, look at Mabiala’s arms after Rooney missed his chip, or Zarek Valentin’s stumble-tackle on Mattocks (Marco Farfan? HELLO?)), and, by the end, DC looked like the Timbers during the best of the unbeaten streak - i.e., running rio against a scrambling, stumbling defense. God, that was fun. Where was I?

Oh yeah, where I flip this.

Holy shit, this was an awful loss. Just terrible. All the same, this isn’t only a team that had a 15-game unbeaten streak, it’s also a team that adjusted during that streak (if only at times). It also doesn’t hurt that I primed myself for two losses this week before it even started - aka, any positive result will feel super! Portland spent most of July at home (except the draw at Los Angeles FC), so returning to the road always had its risks. Thrown in a tight schedule - and after a streak-breaking loss - yes, I expected some kind of falling off. Portland’s players have been good, and against teams that are, by common agreement (if in the given moment) the best teams in MLS - e.g., New York City FC, Atlanta United FC in Atlanta, LAFC (when everyone believed) - I mean, this Portland team kicked the shit out of Philly, 1) before they started coming on-line, and 2) when I thought Portland was, in a familiar theme, fatigued. This team has been good, and as currently constructed, basically. The question is why they aren’t now.

Fatigue is one theory, but I don’t want to overstate that one - and sorry if I already have. Another theory is that every team in the league goes through these bouts of “L’s,” it’s the nature of MLS, etc. The badness of this week was written in the stars, really; the real shame came with coughing up that loss to Vancouver at home. (And I say that acknowledging that I didn’t know this week was coming till Sunday.) Portland’s schedule isn’t awful through the end of the season - even if the games stack up in places (e.g., this week and (WTF?) next week(?), plus Games 28-30) - but, because they have been good against teams like that, I’m not sure why they wouldn’t be again. Still, that’s still going to take some thought towards managing. Or at least that’s what I’d do.

There’s no reason at all that Portland lost this game, at least not besides everything that happened in the game. It is what it is and, if you’re not braced for a loss in Kansas City on Saturday, you’re fucking nuts. The stars are lined up crooked right now, but the team has some breaks ahead, and new/old personnel coming in (Conechny on the purely new side, plus Jorge Villafana and Lucas Melano) and that should give opponents something new to think about, and God knows the Timbers could stand a little extra freshness. Hell, just seeing Andy Polo play on the wing in the second half against Vancouver made my nipples perk up a little. It could fuck up Portland’s cohesion too, I mean who can tell at this point? My actual point, though, in closing, is that I’m still hopeful that this team can turn around….

…even if I can’t believe that Orlando City (Fucking) SC got a better result than the Timbers did. No, fuck it, it’s done. I’m already on the home game against Seattle on August 26. Any kind of result in KC will feel like an ice cream sundae. Maybe even with cherries on top. But I want to see a “W” in that game against Seattle, and the rivalry accounts for only 25% of that equation.

Till the next dose of castor oil.