Pittsburgh Riverhounds 0-0 FC Cincinnati: Poop Just Got Real (and Thank God)

I've been conditioned to this FC Cincy a certain way...

I won’t call it a whole lot of nothing (or even a whole lotta nuthin’). I’ve gotten more pleasure out of scores of games, maybe even several hundreds of them (I’ve been around a bit), but Cincinnati FC’s goal-less draw at the Pittsburgh Riverhounds’ (dinky*) stadium wasn’t paint-drying/grass-growing/old-people-fucking level of torture. At the same time, check The Match Center for highlights, and good luck with it!

(* I’ve had the pleasure of watching U.S. domestic soccer live for over two decades, and I can’t remember the last time I sat in a stadium as small as Highmark Stadium. In its defense, it is only the flip-side of the farce of playing professional soccer at, say, Gillette Stadium.)

In an attempt to explain/analogize to this game through a series of moments, I offer the following:

Pittsburgh’s Neco Brett received a nearly perfect cut-back from a player whose name I don’t recall; he wound up losing track of the ball, allowing his right foot to push it past his (so they tell me) preferred left foot. Minutes later, maybe even as few as one, FC Cincy’s Emery Welshman knocked a loose back pass around Pittsburgh ‘keeper Dan Lynd, only to stumble onto his can at the end of trying to run it down. For the record, neither of these moments show up in The Match Center highlights.

The other moment happened in the second half - somewhere in the 70s, if I had to guess (which I do) - when Cincinnati’s rather large Forrest Lasso tried to shepherd a ball over the goal line with Kay Banjo hanging on his back; Banjo whipped his leg around Lasso’s largeness, nearly creating another chance. This also didn't make the highlights, and that's why I chose them.

Not every shot was terrible - Christiano Francois and Romeo Parkes tormented FC Cincy’s defense in a way I’ve never seen (even at 18 games watched, I consider myself a noob), and both Emanuel Ledesma and Fatai Alashe put solid shots on goal (and all those made the highlights) - but that this game didn’t see many good chances. The detail I flagged with Banjo is meant to draw out the idea that Pittsburgh played the better game, thereby surprising FC Cincinnati, thereby perhaps reminding them that things only get harder for the rest of the season and (are you paying attention??) into some indefinite future given the path this young team has chosen.

By way of translating reality to numbers, the best stat I can provide for Pittsburgh’s visible edge in this game would be shots, general: the Riverhounds had 18 to Cincinnati’s four. Credit Pittsburgh for being the team most likely to; credit Cincinnati for making them the team that never did - even if with moments of doubt (e.g., Lasso having to pull Brett’s jersey at 34(ish) or Hoyte flirting with an own-goal when Francois broke through (yet again) down Pittsburgh’s left in the second half). I can’t think of any way in which Pittsburgh wasn’t the better team yesterday, and that runs counter to normal for someone who, like me, still has yet to see FC Cincinnati lose.

FC Cincinnati 2-1 Pittsburgh Riverhounds: On Primal Noises and Rumors of Hierarchies

Y'all...

That was ballsy last night, some Cool Hand Luke shit, the kind of win that FC Cincinnati fans will remember for the rest of 2018, if not beyond. I mumbled a slurry “holy shit” (and nearly fell off the household typing stool) when Dekel Keinan powered home his headed equalizer, but Fanendo Adi’s freight-train of a game-winning goal got a noise out of me that I usually save for the bedroom (sweet, sweet release…aahhhhhhh!!!).

Thus came the 2-1 win over the visiting, visibly-engaged Pittsburgh Riverhounds (for numbers and highlights, do visit the Match Center), so continues an ever-lengthening unbeaten streak, and, forgive me I missed it earlier, but did the “(x)” next to FC Cincinnati’s name in the standings appear only last night? They’ve booked their place in the United Soccer League’s post-season regardless, and taking down a rival this immediate in every sense of the word can’t help but bode well for the post-season.

Due to the timing of my getting into FC Cincinnati, I have never seen them in defeat; as such, I have no sense of what that looks like. Due to some perversity in my nature, some part of me wants to see it - maybe on the theory that you can’t really know anyone or anything till you’ve seen them/it fuck up - and last night sure looked like a strong candidate to make that happen. To give just one example, I saw Cincy defender/giant Forrest Lasso struggle like never before: I would have sent him off for his tackle in the 38th minute (he got a yellow, but…hmm, maybe I want this team to lose more than I thought (hey there, my subconscious mind!)), and I still don’t know the meaning of his hand gestures after he committed a clear, clumsy foul in the penalty area…

…there’s a fun thought: could FC Cincy even come back from two goals down? And, holy crap, was that a terrible penalty kick by Kay Banjo (but, lo, his name is unstoppable).

To state the broad contours of the game, Cincinnati looked comfortable enough, but Pittsburgh looked the sharper team (and the numbers bear that out). That held, at least, until Cincy started bringing on subs, starting with Michael Lahoud coming on for Pa Konate - a player, by the way, whose upside I still have yet to see. Jimmy McLaughlin (that name…sounds like an angelic child waiting for a lung transplant) replaced Fatai Alashe, and Adi came on for Danni Konig (who’d been…all right), and that’s probably the biggest difference between my fan experience watching the Portland Timbers and my fan experience watching FC Cincinnati: the idea/presence of game-changers on the bench. Just…count yourselves lucky, FC Cincy fans, and savor it for as long as it lasts, because it won't.