FC Cincinnati 0-2 Philadelphia Union: Alternate Timelines & Lassoing Metaphors

They do dress better over in that timeline...

To start with a notice from the Department of Corrections/Over-Reach: my preview tweets suggested that FC Cincinnati might benefit from the Philadelphia Union playing in a 4-4-2 diamond. Nope.Oh, and before getting rather existentially into the weeds below, I don't intend any of what's below to stand as "what it all means" judgments about FC Cincinnati, or their larger fate in 2019. If anything, this loss complicated all that.

If you missed the Philadelphia Union’s 3-0 win over Columbus Crew SC, you caught a fairly linear encore with their 2-0 win over FCCincinnati. It featured the same feeling of suffocation, of no way to keep the ball going where your team wants it to, and no thorough way of keeping it away from where they don’t. It seemed like Philly won every 50/50 ball, that they always had a player where they needed one to be and, even when it was one lone Union player that had to perform in order to keep bad things at pay, that player performed.

The Union had a better afternoon on the slippery turf of Cincinnati’s Nippert Stadium, pure and simple. That left me more curious than usual to see how that game looked according to the box score, and FC Cincy’s tiny handful of shots feels like the number to highlight – even more than Philly firing off three times as many (and, just to note it, the duels/tackles data says the Union didn’t win every 50/50, and that says something about the function of perception). To hang a frame on it, this was the performance that critics of FC Cincinnati’s roster build expected to see in 2019, present company included. And, after yesterday’s loss, I mean that globally: expansion teams are supposed to look out of their depth, lacking in polish and sophistication, and on both sides of the ball. And that brings me to the Union’s second goal.

Matthieu Deplagne has impressed me as much as any player on FC Cincinnati’s roster; I’m also a Forrest Lasso stan going back to last June, think the world of the big lug and his upside, etc. And yet, examining the anatomy of that goal reveals that both players fucked up in that moment – Deplagne with his clearance-in-two-minds that dropped the ball at David Accam’s lurking feet, Lasso for biting on Accam’s cut eagerly as the world’s dumbest trout. Mistakes happen in these decisive moments (when mommy and daddy love each other very much, this is how goals happen, etc.), but that split second in time captured the macro-trends of the larger contest: the Union forced Cincinnati to do things…sub-optimally all game long. For the just the second time in 2019, FC Cincinnati looked like the out-classed expansion team.

FC Cincinnati 0-3 Columbus Crew SC: A Collection of Negative Metaphors

Fucking adorable, but it still has to change...

In my youth soccer days, I had a coach who turned his back on us after getting fed up with how the team practiced. He insisted we continue, only without him watching. It didn’t bother me (seemed for the best, really; he was unhappy, we were unhappy, etc.), but my teammates cracked within minutes and started begging him to watch again. That was the goal, of course, and he gave everyone reminders on “goals and attitudes,” etc. I don’t recall if we did any better, but that was never the point of the exercise.

I don’t know why that story came to me, but watching FC Cincinnati get destroyed by Columbus Crew SC by an ultimately merciful 3-0 final score allowed me to sympathize a little with my old coach.

I’ve been waiting to see how FC Cincinnati stacked up against Major League Soccer competition since June 10, 2018 – that was the first time I saw them play (and, for the record, they beat North Carolina in that one). Between my commute and some questionable choices on the video streaming side by and among FC Cincy, the Chicago Fire and the good people who run the Carolina Challenge Cup, I missed the live, and only, video stream of Cincinnati’s draw against Chicago. Watching them play the Charleston Battery…I dunno, it felt less like something any of us needed to know than a lazy farewell fuck with an old flame. (Also, I’d already watched them play Charleston last year as well). Given all the above, and unless I blacked out them playing an MLS team in last year’s U.S. Open Cup, yesterday’s game against Columbus really did count as my first time seeing FC Cincinnati against MLS opposition and…yeah, where to begin?

Saying a team got “played off the park” is one of soccer’s most familiar clichés, but FC Cincinnati did something more disturbing in Charleston yesterday: they didn’t to show up. They looked every bit as unready for primetime as the “jerseys” in which they played. By the end of getting spun dizzy by Columbus, I’m guessing some of them appreciated that little taste of anonymity. A few of them might have appreciated a bag to wear over their heads. Beat on both sides of the ball, they didn’t defend well and attacked with the force of three kittens, that’s the kind of shit you see in the FA Cup when the Premier League teams come in to face the amateurs. Worse, Roland Lamah, the only guy to produce a highlight reel moment (and he managed two…ish) let his final highlight take the form of a two-footed tackle from behind and a deserved sending off…

…to turn to another cliché, yes, sometimes a team needs that spark and that's probably what Lamah was after. Sparks are funny, though, inspiration in one scenario, and step one to a dumpster conflagration in another.

Nashville SC 3-3 FC Cincinnati: Double-Fisted Heartbreak

No actual intention to go political. The rest were about prayer?

The original title for this post was, “The Maddest I’ve Ever Seen Matt Pickens,” so called because FC Cincinnati scored one of those glass-jaw specials that soccer punditry warns you of in every single broadcast immediately after Nashville SC drew the score level at 2-2. Corben Bone got free on Nashville’s right, cut back inside and fired to Pickens’ far side. Shot fired, shit lost, etc. 3-2 to FC Cincy, and in their last road game of 2018.

Cincinnati would feel a similar let-down (and a chink in the armor?) when Bolu Akinboye returned the favor via express service just as regular time drew its last (robust) breath (good game), and this game ended 3-3, and with a world of possibility, good and wish-that-hadn’t-happened for both teams on the field. (See The Match Center for all data.)

On the universal plus-side, both teams will get the chance to do it all over again, only this time in Nippert Stadium/Ohio. With all the points counted and the playoffs set to begin, 1st seed FC Cincy will face 8th seed Nashville in the first round of the USL Eastern Conference Playoffs, the day after tomorrow, effectively, 3 p.m., after school, at the flag-pole and in front of the entire motherfucking school. Place your bets now, and juice-box and orange wedges are your currency, people.

Where to begin? Even getting back to tonight is complicated, and for both teams. On FC Cincy’s side, I was about to say, when was the last time Cincinnati allowed three goals, only to realize that it happened just one month before, and against Toronto FC II. The point is, prior to that, it hadn’t happened since June and…against TFC II. (So, I guess the formula is not playing TFC II?) Another fun fact: that June 3-3 draw against TFC II came only five games into FC Cincinnati’s now-history-making-USL-unbeaten streak and, that lands my point: you’re not used to seeing FC Cincinnati give up three goals in one game because they don’t do it a lot. But they just did it against Nashville, the same team they’ll play in the first round of the playoffs. Sure, that happened in Nashville, but I’m at DEFCON 2, minimum. I mean, dumber things than a first-round flame-out for the regular season champs have happened in the history of sports…

Penn FC 1-2 FC Cincinnati: Consider Yourself...Boned!

My feelings are complex...

When you’ve watched soccer a damned long time, it’s nice to see something you haven’t before. It’s even better when that something plays footsie with absurdity, a la Tiago Calvano’s attempt to get into Danni Konig’s head and/or fuck with the ref’s request that the two players “kiss-and-make-up” early in the game. They need a different color card for this one…when Calvano actually went for Konig’s lips…in another setting, mandatory training would have followed therefrom. Damn.

It’s nice, in a sense, that Penn FC got at least a little of theirs back in this game, because they got…boned in this game. Not to get hung up on sexualized metaphors, but I didn’t come up with Corben Bone’s surname, and there aren’t a lot of verbs that better capture a player who had been theretofore invisible (Bone) stealing the ball from a dallying Aaron Dennis and curling in the game winner. That goal, when added to Emanuel Ledesma’s equalizer, lifted FC Cincinnati to a 2-1 road win over Penn FC, a result I’d call more unfortunate than unfair for Penn; or, FC Cincy’s side, fortunate…and still a little unfair. Not undeserved, mind, just unfair to Penn FC.

On the other hand, screw Penn FC because I wasn’t pulling for them. Still, my condolences. Man, it’s like there’s a devil in one ear and an angel in the other…moving on…

My notes from last night (at least the ones I can read; this was a late, second feature for me yesterday), the teams played fairly even game - and the numbers, read in the clearer light of morning, back up the impression (the link above takes you to The Match Center, aka, The World of Your Imagination). If they decided games by decision like they do in boxing, I could even be persuaded to call the game for Penn. (As my notes in the first half have it, and this is verbatim, “PEN has been better, but not much…meh; good on crosses, not great.”) That doesn’t matter, of course, as demonstrated/symbolized by the way (I think) Richard Menjivar had Cincy ‘keeper Spencer beat for a late Penn FC equalizer, only to have Forrest Lasso perfectly position to head away the shot.

If the game turned on anything in particular, I offer the old cliché, “that little bit of quality.” Cincy’s attackers fired more accurately at Penn’s Sean Lewis, and they forced great saves out of him - with Ledesman leading the list. There are also the kinds of players Cincinnati can call from its bench: it was Emery Welshman’s shot, after all, that Lewis spilled to Ledesma for the Orange and Blue’s first goal. If either Nazmi Albadawi or Kenney Walker changed the game, I missed it, but I do think that Welshman’s running, in terms of both speed and distance, might have given Penn the new look they finally couldn’t handle. And, again, Cincinnati has held that advantage all season - i.e., having real quality on the bench, as well as different varieties of it. Moreover, even if Albabawi and Walker don’t come on and change the game (for the record, still shrugging at that one), Cincinnati can rest almost all of their players without giving up much in quality - at least at the USL level. And that is a luxury…trust me on that one.

Louisville City FC 0-1 FC Cincinnati: The Puddle Goal of Legend

Well, it ain't gonna fill itself, dipshit...

I have to start with this, mostly because I heard the name over and over: is the Louisville City FC broadcast team contractually obligated to say, “George Davis the Fourth” every time the guy touches the ball? Does George Davis the Third own Louisville, or something?

It’s not so bad to start with George Davis the Fourth - beats the howlers I had lined up about how Louisville closed out the first half with a flurry of goals, and it ended 72 hours and 38 minutes later (and don’t check me math, I barely did) - because the man with the long, formal name wreaked havoc down Louisville’s right. Or, rather, Blake Smith’s left side of FC Cincinnati’s defense. I’ve been high on Smith for as long as I’ve watched FC Cincinnati, and I’ve never seen a player make him work and/or guess as hard as…sigh, George Davis the Fourth (treat?). Fortunately, FC Cincy’s defense held, even where Blake did not - though they did have a trouser-filler around the 51st minute that neither I, nor Louisville can’t believe they didn’t put away - and FC Cincinnati walks away from this absurdist 90 with the 1-0 win.

Who knew they’d make The Puddle Goal hold up? (On that, I can’t wait till I can easily find isolated highlights for FC Cincy games, so I can show the water-logged freakshow that won this game for them. I mean, sure, sit through the highlights (at the Match Center, along with everything else you need!)). As goals go, it’s pretty fortunate and messed up. Corben Bone is clearly among the blessed.

For all the truth of “they all count” when it comes to goals, this game, along with the one before it, should make fairly clear that FC Cincinnati has real work ahead on its way to the 2018 USL Championship. (Also, has the league named its trophy? Shit, has MLS? If not, they both need to get on that shit.) I’m looking at the top eight in the USL East right now, and I’m seeing a healthy share of teams who gave FC Cincy a run for its money this season - not just Louisville and Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC (both of whom played well enough to get all three points), but teams like Bethlehem Steel FC and Nashville SC.

Back to the game(s) at hand (is it accurate to call these two games, were they that different?), Louisville’s best chances to win it dried up around the 58th minute, when Speedy Williams (who also received full-name treatment) skied what I and the broadcast agreed was a sitter. They had at least two great shots in the Saturday’s “first half” - both ably parried by a rock-solid Spencer Richey - and Louisville squeezed FC Cincy’s defense over at least two distressingly extended periods, once in Second First Half (i.e., the rest of the first half played earlier tonight), but also during this rather fascinating time in the actual second half that wound up turning the game.

FC Cincinnati 2-1 Pittsburgh Riverhounds: On Primal Noises and Rumors of Hierarchies

Y'all...

That was ballsy last night, some Cool Hand Luke shit, the kind of win that FC Cincinnati fans will remember for the rest of 2018, if not beyond. I mumbled a slurry “holy shit” (and nearly fell off the household typing stool) when Dekel Keinan powered home his headed equalizer, but Fanendo Adi’s freight-train of a game-winning goal got a noise out of me that I usually save for the bedroom (sweet, sweet release…aahhhhhhh!!!).

Thus came the 2-1 win over the visiting, visibly-engaged Pittsburgh Riverhounds (for numbers and highlights, do visit the Match Center), so continues an ever-lengthening unbeaten streak, and, forgive me I missed it earlier, but did the “(x)” next to FC Cincinnati’s name in the standings appear only last night? They’ve booked their place in the United Soccer League’s post-season regardless, and taking down a rival this immediate in every sense of the word can’t help but bode well for the post-season.

Due to the timing of my getting into FC Cincinnati, I have never seen them in defeat; as such, I have no sense of what that looks like. Due to some perversity in my nature, some part of me wants to see it - maybe on the theory that you can’t really know anyone or anything till you’ve seen them/it fuck up - and last night sure looked like a strong candidate to make that happen. To give just one example, I saw Cincy defender/giant Forrest Lasso struggle like never before: I would have sent him off for his tackle in the 38th minute (he got a yellow, but…hmm, maybe I want this team to lose more than I thought (hey there, my subconscious mind!)), and I still don’t know the meaning of his hand gestures after he committed a clear, clumsy foul in the penalty area…

…there’s a fun thought: could FC Cincy even come back from two goals down? And, holy crap, was that a terrible penalty kick by Kay Banjo (but, lo, his name is unstoppable).

To state the broad contours of the game, Cincinnati looked comfortable enough, but Pittsburgh looked the sharper team (and the numbers bear that out). That held, at least, until Cincy started bringing on subs, starting with Michael Lahoud coming on for Pa Konate - a player, by the way, whose upside I still have yet to see. Jimmy McLaughlin (that name…sounds like an angelic child waiting for a lung transplant) replaced Fatai Alashe, and Adi came on for Danni Konig (who’d been…all right), and that’s probably the biggest difference between my fan experience watching the Portland Timbers and my fan experience watching FC Cincinnati: the idea/presence of game-changers on the bench. Just…count yourselves lucky, FC Cincy fans, and savor it for as long as it lasts, because it won't.

FC Cincinnati 3-0 Charleston Battery: Wire to Wire, and Beyond

It's greased lightning!

It’s rare to see a 2-0 win as dominant as the one FC Cincinnati dropped on the visiting Charleston Battery (and, yes, I realize the game actually ended 3-0 - and FC Cincy deserved all of that third goal - but it goes against a premise, so…ssshhhh, bear with me). The orange and blue (that’s FC Cincy, who needs a snappier nickname) controlled every aspect of the game, but without looking likely to run up the score. They thoroughly contained the Battery, sometimes in their own half for soccer’s equivalent of eternity, and, with one exception (Ataulla Guerra pinging a bomb off Spencer Richey’s crossbar), Cincinnati’s defenders never gave the visitors more than a glimpse of daylight (e.g., Forrest Lasso rotating/sliding to snuff Patrick Okonwko’s and/or Charleston's best second-half chance).

Both teams came in boasting unbeaten streaks that I can’t stop visualizing as cars rumbling up for an evening of street racing (see The Fast & the Furious, Grease, and maybe Rebel Without a Cause; haven’t seen that one): 15 for Cincinnati and 11 for Charleston. The home team ended the visitor’s streak with confidence-eating finality. The Battery kept their shape by and large, and I think I’d find that distressing - i.e., falling 3-0 when you didn’t shit the proverbial bed (that’s probably not a proverb). Think failing a test when you actually prepared for the thing.

Box scores don’t always put the details in proper relief, but I’d hold up two, maybe two and a half stats (in the match center, where you’ll find highlights too) that capture what decided this game: FC Cincy’s 2-of-3 advantage in duels and their huge advantage in shooting accuracy (75% to 16.7%) - and the latter goes back to another number, e.g., the slim margin in the total number of shots. Those numbers underline two things: 1) how well the Battery held its shape for nearly the full 90*, and 2) how little that mattered, thanks to how well Cincinnati threw around its weight.

* The few honest breakdowns Charleston did suffer produced the result - more specifically, the final score. The third goal - of which, yes, it did happen - concluded the only period of pressure that saw the Battery tremble on the verge of cracking. That came late - around the 85th, and lasted till the final whistle - when Fanendo Adi and Justin Hoyte put at least three clean shots on goal, and Nazmi Albadawi played the dangerous ball that led to Skylar Thomas’ soul-bruising stoppage time own-goal. The other goal came in first-half stoppage time when Albadawi chased down a loose trap by a Charleston player (who, incidentally, had just intercepted a Cincinnati pass), and then combined with Emory Welshman, and Corben Bone, who would finish off Albadawi’s assist, to score.

FC Cincinnati 1-0 Penn FC: Fanendo Adi's Rosetta Stone Qualities

It can also be a soft, cushioned lie.

I want to start with a question: if you’d never seen people play soccer before, how would you know that, say, Bayern Munich, or glory-days Barcelona FC were good-to-great teams? On one hand, sure, if you watched 90 minutes of a game and just followed the reaction of the crowd (even on the simplest level of hearing the elation that follows a goal), you’d understand those teams to be better than their opposition…

…but if you don’t know the quality of the opposition, all you could really say is, “that team in the blue and red vertical stripes sure looked better yesterday! Do you like your blorpduckle with a splooge of kepetzal? (That’s me doing alien cuisine, the point is I’m an alien observing a soccer…never mind.)

For as long as I’ve followed FC Cincinnati this season - and period that started with the June 9th road win against North Carolina FC, and includes everything up to tonight’s surprisingly (probably?) tight 1-0 home win over Penn FC, but not last week’s draw against Nashville FC (busy) and the friendly, because fuck friendlies, if you can prevent a player from skiing, they shouldn’t play exhibitions by the same logic, but I digress. (Also, for the curious, here’s my origin story as relates to FC Cincinnati, aka, I come by this semi-honestly.)

Over that period of time, FC Cincinnati has generally looked the better team on the field in those games (for the record, this is now my 8th game, and I’ll work on the sidebar. someday), and today was no exception. Another general trend: FC Cincy seems to take 15-20 minutes to come into a game, and today was no exception. The chances piled up in the end, until Emanuel Ledesma - always the man most likely to - ricocheted a free-kick off the back of the Lucky Mkosana (i.e., the ironically-named dreadlocked dude who posed a moderate active threat for Penn FC tonight), and into the goal. And that wasn’t even Ledesman’s best chance, because that came in the 54th minute when he made space for himself and pounded a powerful lefty off the post. Still, Ledesma scored the winner, as he has for much of Cincy’s 2018. They’ve got players like that all over the roster too, attacking players contributing steadily, whether it’s Danni Konig, Nazmi Albadawi, or even Corben Bone.

FC Cincinnati 2-1 New York Red Bulls II: Who You Got?

It comes with dessert. No way.

Just to note it, I’m reminded that I know something less than fuck-all about the Western Conference every time I check scores for the USL. Please get to MLS soon, FC Cincinnati; because ignorance pains me…

To stick with the subject, the general…mien of FC Cincinnati’s 2-1 win over New York Red Bulls II (“RBII” hereafter) also pained me a little: elegant as an elephant on roller blades, refined as a Salisbury Steak TV dinner, this game played out as pure bumper cars until around the 40th minute (what? I feel like “Salisbury Steak” should be capitalized). It slipped in and out of looking like two teams playing soccer instead of Aussie Rules Football for the rest of the game, but, full credit to them, Cincinnati did look the better team at the sharper ends of the field (i.e., defense and offense). The numbers bear me out on that “slop-fest” theory, btw; I’ve never seen passing accuracy numbers that low, and holy shit, how did anything positive happen out there with that much fuck-uppery going on?

To note something else, RBII was the toughest team (per their record) that FC Cincy has played in a while, and maybe that accounts for all the gore on the field…am I? Yeah, I’m exaggerating that a bit. All I’m saying is the game was physical, and I think Blake Smith could easily have been sent off when he rose from a rough challenge and shoved an RBII player to the dirt. What would have transpired from there is anyone’s guess, but that didn’t happen, and that’s a counter-factual, and I don’t deal in that crap. Back to the factual, RBII came within one wispy whisker of tying the game in stoppage time (and you can see that, and “the numbers” referred to above, via The Match Center). Cincinnati came within one defender’s mid-section of growing their lead one minute later, so the galactic wheels of virtue continue to spin true.

In fewer words, this game was close, but it wasn’t. RBII attacked relentlessly, while FC Cincy attacked ruthlessly, and won the game as a result. The only place Cincinnati came out clearly ahead was the score-line, and that means why is at least one of the questions in play. Having been introduced to RBII just now, I can’t address their side of things - though I will say that Andrew Tinari, Amando Moreno and (especially) Lucas Stauffer showed up for them throughout the game. As for Cincinnati, they flipped a chunk of their line-up in the midst of a busy week and futzed with the formation (not a big fan of that 4-3-3), and part of me blames the inelegance of the close result for that. On the flipside of that, seeing the players who stuck to the roster - e.g., your Manny Ledesmas, your Blake Smiths, your Forrest Lassos - could say something about who FC Cincy views as useful, if not indispensable. (Hold up: I neither watched nor checked on FC Cincinnati’s midweek win over Charlotte Independence; that said, just did and just confirmed the noteworthy rotations.)

Nashville SC 0-0 FC Cincinnati: "Rivalries" and (Re-) Checking the Levels

No, I said "left" at Team Stats. LEFT!

Before getting to the game, I want to repeat something I said on Twitter. I am a Ronnie Woodard stan. She offered that rare commodity to soccer color commentary - i.e., talking cause, effect, and on-field mechanics, stuff it’s easy to miss when you’re watching through a screen - and with a quiet confidence. It’s something you don’t even know you miss after 20 years of listening to, say, a clown like Alexi Lalas express his love for set-pieces. To give just one example, she praised the play of FC Cincinnati’s centerbacks, Dekel Keinan and Forrest Lasso, on the way to damning Emanuel Ledesma, Danni Konig and Nazmi Albadawi for failing to defend enough. Basically, the lack of defense from the forwards made it easier for Nashville SC to find their attacking players in front of FC Cincinnati’s defense, and that put the latter under pressure for most of the night.

She could be wrong, but I still felt smarter. With that out of the way, I want to focus on another in-game comment from the broadcast booth, one pulled from some domestic soccer publication and with regard to FC Cincinnati:

“One of the most impressive teams ever assembled for a lower division American soccer club.”

To flip the script, what does that say about Nashville SC? The home team owned the balance of play and chances in last night’s 0-0 draw between these two teams - or at least until the final 10 minutes. If you go to this game’s “Match Center” (which is pretty one-stop shopping; check there for highlights) and to the “Distribution” tab under Team Stats, you will find the buried treasure…

…sorry, kidding. To give them credit, the USL website arguably puts up more complete data than Major League Soccer’s, but it takes a road map, plus a couple secret handshakes to find it. Back to the game…

FC Cincinnati 2-0 Ottawa Furr...shit, Fury: Good Ruler, Terrible Context

Another layer of meaning? Are you fucking kidding?!

Watching the replay of FC Cincinnati’s 2-0 win over the visiting Ottawa Furry…crap, Fury, begged more questions than it answered. Again, knowing as little as I do about the USL Mark 4.0 (maybe?) makes this project a little like staring at a ruler, only with no idea what it’s measuring. That said, based on the replay, and a growing body of FC Cincy games, I feel confident with the following statements:

Cincinnati clearly looked the better team, but not a dominant one; I described their first half as “a game of fitful probing.” That had everything to do with Ottawa’s defense, a compact organized bolus that tangled up just about everything anyone tried to move through it. That’s their M.O., according to the booth - playing compact and countering down Route One - but, with a losing score-line and a half-time pep-talk blowing a breeze up their backsides (maybe), Ottawa tried to play a little in the second half. That step improved the game more than Ottawa’s chances, with their best chance (from eight shots? when??) coming when team captain/avatar, Carl Haworth, nearly walked in a goal early in the second half. Ottawa is a goal-a-game kind of team - one of those pertinent details one can only find by piercing a layer of mysterious veils on the USL's official website (gateway to Ottawa/hell) - and it showed. Still, I upgraded them from “just no fucking idea what they’re doing” to…well, this, I suppose:

“Who is Cincy? When have I seen them on their game? When off? No sense that Cincy will seize the game and run away with it.”

Even if I barely remember what that meant, it feels pretty fair. That said, one thing I have noticed about Cincinnati is that they tend to find the game all at once - i.e., after 15-20 minutes of half-hopeless dicking around, they sneak in a half-chance, then, two, three minutes later, they put a better-than-hopeful shot in goal. They score more often than not too, nearly two goals a game. Hold on, need to back-track a bit for another note…

Not every player on the field plays this way, but USL Soccer feels closer to rugby, aka, soccer’s twice-removed cousin, because more of the passing looks more territorial than planned. Getting the ball nearer the opponent’s goal holds a thin, yet permanent edge over how it gets there, and that means half-blind, mostly aspirational headed passes and the balance of balls out of the back look like thinly-veiled clearances (wow, second veil reference…whatever have I been watching?) show up all over the field, and attacking means chasing forward passes into space more often than it means deliberate, defense-unlocking interplay.

Happily, both of Cincinnati’s goals worked against that generality - and the reality that Cincinnati has that in them makes as good a comment on the team as I’ve got. Both attacks came down Cincy’s left and both involved Corben Bone, an MLS journeyman who might have backed into becoming a USL journeyman courtesy of Cincinnati’s (so far) steady squad rotation. His career aside, Bone paired with Blake Smith, Cincy’s left-back, nicely as steak pairs with red wine. They combined for the first goal (with Smith providing the final ball), while Bone delivered the assist for the second, a cracking beauty fired back against the grain from just outside the area by Nazmi Albadawi. Between delivering the pin-point cross that let Albadawi kill off the game and pinging the pass that freed Blake for the cross, Bone played a decisive role in the win. And that opens up a couple discussions.

North Carolina 0-2 FC Cincinnati: Mostly Groping Toward Understanding

Hell adjacent, but also a start.

First of all, I’m gonna fuck up some names. Second, I don’t really know this team, FC Cincinnati, either, because this was my first 90 minutes with them. A speed date, if you will. That said, I think I picked up a reasonable sense as to who does what on FC Cincinnati, or at least this specific version of their roster. Or against this specific opponent. Again, this is the first step to me knowing what I’m talking about, and give it a month or two.

Hold on, backing up: FC Cincinnati beat North Carolina FC 2-0 in the Containment Area for Relocated Yankees, North Carolina (that’s Cary, NC). They looked reasonable for the win, but North Carolina gave them plenty of breathing room by taking…just terrible shots, more around than on goal. And that “around” was very general. As noted in my catch-up post on FC Cincy, they have a decent knack for creating wide-open chances, and tonight was no exception. There, I’m thinking their second, more than their first: when Nazmi Albadawi found Emery Welshman in that much space on Cincy’s right, it isolated the (surprisingly nimble) forward against (I’m guessing) Carolina’s left-sided centerback, and Welshman sat him right on his can with a cut inside, fired the shot, and, boom, FC Cincinnati bags their insurance goal in the 87(-ish) minute, game very much over, and Cincinnati three points clear on top of the United Soccer League’s Eastern Conference. (Just five points behind Western Conference leaders Real Monarch SLC; also this puts Cincy level on points with Timbers 2, but with a game in hand.)

To step back still further, it’s sort of a trip starting with this team where I did - i.e., tonight - but I don’t think my personal experience differs so much from an “O.G.” Cincinnati fan. (Again) This team is two years old and counting, for fuck’s sake, and, at time of writing, I’m not sure how new or old any of these twits are to the team. For instance, Emanuel Ledesma, team points leader, came over from the New York Cosmos just this season. Russell Cicerone, the player who stood out most tonight, turns out he’s a rookie, an at least one-time MAC player of the year award, and, no, I’m not looking that up, because who cares what you did in college, kid, but damn good game tonight. You made that first goal, but, wow, didn’t Danni Konig literally wrestle that fucker home? And that was Cincinnati’s first goal. Also, when did Konig sign? Ah, just May 2017.

My point is, players can’t have deep roots with this team, because this team does not have deep roots. There is no “street cred” with this bunch. We’re all fucking newbies at this rodeo.

Now, to the game itself and what it told me about who does what, I absolutely insist on beginning with the statement that you can’t possibly know the tip of shit about a team by watching one game. There are too many variables involved - starting with the quality of the opposition (wait for it) - to allow any reasonable person to think he (or she) can make any kind of firm statement about any player, the tactics, or just anything about a team after just one viewing. With that firmly in mind, dig this…