MLS 2018, Form Guide ULTRA, Week 22: One Stray L'il Doggie (and it's coming to Portland)

These posts are my tattoos.

Again, I use the words “IN” and “OUT” to mean teams that are in and out of the playoffs, respectively, at time of writing. That’s a loose identifier for “good” and “bad,” basically.

Moving on, the more I feel better about the data, the less I feel like preambles are necessary. The week featured what looks like an oddity - i.e., an unusual wealth of road wins - until you check out who played who (the more obvious examples: New York City FC 0-2 at Orlando, Atlanta United FC stealing all three points from Montreal Impact FC with a 2-1 win (if with some notable wrinkles; also, on paper went off at least one script), and the Seattle Sounders 1-0 over at the San Jose Jackpot…er, Earthquakes). Sure, there was one oddball win - the Houston Dynamo coughing upa 1-3 loss at home to the Philadelphia Union presaged a terrible weak for East Texas - but, given everything that happened around it (two weeks and some travel for the New York Red Bulls, plus the solid state of the competition), it wasn’t so surprising to see Columbus Crew SC win in New York. Whoops, one more: the Sounders looked like a decent bet to beat NYCFC in Seattle, but the score-line (3-1) bears noting.

Because some kind of clockwork explains all the rest (hold on...what's left now?), I want to close out this preamble with a firm opinion on something. People argue that teams should “start the kids” and, as much as I agree with that, making that call is some serious pre-game dunking on your opposition. There’s just a second side to the equation, that’s all I’m saying.

OK, the usual data-dump unfolds below - e.g., I look at the last 10 games for every team in MLS down below, create a thumbnail profile from that. I wrap it all up with a look back (at last week’s game(s)), then a look ahead (at next week’s game). Caveat lector: I’m looking at highlights and results only, so don’t expect a deep-dive into anyone’s tactics outside the one team I watch in Major League Soccer - i.e., the Portland Timbers - and whoever they happened to play that week (Houston, in this case). Here goes, and in the order of the conference standings, Eastern Conference first:

MLS Week 22 Review: The Bonus Multiplier Player, Result of the Week and MORE!!

Yes, going crazy from the heat...

In order to make this latest weekly update of Major League Soccer (Week 22) at least somewhat about the week just passed, I have to tinker with the organization. Otherwise, it's mostly about random observations that, 1) came to me as I watched the games and mini-games, and 2) involve trends and comments on this player or that, i.e. basic concepts with no immediate bearing on time or place. With that in mind, the one beer* specifically relevant to Week 22 will come before the shot (again, see asterisk), and the five other, perhaps seasonal beers, perhaps not, will follow.

(* These posts are built around the concept of a shot – e.g. a long-ish, lightly-researched anchoring feature – and a six-pack of beers – e.g. shorter, brief, likely not researched, yet hopefully well-argued thoughts).

One other piece of housekeeping: the Conifers & Citrus Interest Rankings (see right sidebar) are current. (And, for the curious, I explained what those rankings are and why I see them as useful last week.)

All right, enough with the preamble. How about that Week 22? That record-breaking Week 22, which featured goals, goals, goals (X 36, or thereabouts). For something wild (in the David Lee Roth sense of the word), a couple of the games reinforced (see: Columbus Crew SC), or reinforced (see: Seattle Sounders FC) actual trends. All things I may or may not talk about. Haven't decided yet, honestly. All I know is that I've got my notes and intend to go where the spirit directs me.

1) The...Things of the Week!
Goal of the Week: Taylor Kemp's slicing, one-time bomb against Real Salt Lake. I just like Kemp.
Save of the Week: I never saw anything better than Luis Robles' save against Conor Casey.
Result of the Week: Though tempted to go with Columbus' just straight-up collapse against Orlando City SC (more later) or the way the Seattle Sounders' loss to the Vancouver Whitecaps took an existing trend in a bad direction, but, for me, DC United's flat-out nuts, meme-breaking win over Real Salt Lake yelled louder for attention than the rest. And that yelling came in a couple languages, too. Now, obviously, it put DC back on top in both the Eastern Conference and in the Supporters' Shield race, but that's just the beginning. East beat West, and that's something even if RSL hardly stands as the West's best. The fact they came back into the game highlights a telling trend for DC this season, one brought up during the game: DC United boasts a 4-3-1 record in games where they're trailing at the half; this comeback made that 5-3-1; even with 24 games played, that's pretty badass. The deeper (deepest?) point has been framed a little strangely in the few places I've come across it. DC has earned a well-won reputation as the dourest of grinders: literally, one exception aside, DC's 22 prior games were low-scoring, one-goal-margin affairs. A couple comments – possibly throw-aways, given that they came during podcast – hinted that the last two, high-scoring comeback wins represent some kind of break with that reality/approach. Is it true? Dunno. Moreover, a genuine shift could mean all kinds of things, just as much as it would if the past two games prove to be anomalies. All I know is, that’s why we watch.

Now, get the salt and chop up a lime. SHOT!