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| If you know Hearts, you know her nickname. |
I’m
going to attempt to return to posting weekly MLS previews to this site instead
of composing tweet-storms…mostly because a guy named Gus Rachels made fun of
me…
…nah,
that’s bullshit. Working in 280-character blocks reined in the rambling - and, as if to underline the point, I tried to make a narrative out of this the first time around and I was choking on kudzu minutes later. Let’s move out, people, and let’s keep it tight.
I’ll
start by tossing the chaff: everyone outside of Houston and Orlando has no
reason to care about Orlando City SC v. Houston Dynamo (and handful of expats
therefrom excepted). While some games matter more or less, that’s the weekend’s
only dud.
As
for the rest, literally all of the stars aligned to create some fascinating,
puzzle-piece match-ups for MLS Week 30 – e.g., a fortuitously-timed game here
(e.g., New England Revolution v. Chicago Fire) meets another team drawing the
Queen of Spades there (e.g., Philadelphia Union v. Sporting Kansas City; that
one’s for all you fans of Hearts out there). With so many angles to cut at, I
think I’ll organize the bulleted previews below by going from best fortune to worst. I’ll end the whole thing with Minnesota United FC v. Portland Timbers….which
is not intended as a comment on the state of Portland’s luck.
Columbus
Crew SC v. Colorado Rapids
Nothing
spells “relief” for a team looking to rebound after a midweek loss quite like "Colorado at home." The Rapids…have
not improved, and the Crew rested key attacking players against the Portland
Timbers midweek. Anything less than all three points would be a bad day
for Columbus.
Los
Angeles Galaxy v. Seattle Sounders
Hey,
same story: Seattle lost on Wednesday and, lo, what comes over the hill but a
badly-wounded LA Galaxy, a team whose last happy memory is posting a narrow W
versus Orlando at home 6-7 weeks ago. A Seattle team, 1) who was winning all over (literally)
nine games prior and that is, 2) exactly one step inside the playoff picture
needs to kick a wounded man. Seattle should get all three.
New
York Red Bulls v. Toronto FC
After
months of posting reliable, positive results, the Red Bulls stampede finally
showed real signs of slowing down. They could use a rebound as badly as any team after
their last two results (L @ Montreal, high-scoring D @ DC), and they’re not
going to get many better breaks than TFC’s nervous defense. Since no sane
person cares about TFC, it’s anything less than three points for RBNY that you’re
watching for here.
Los
Angeles FC v. San Jose Earthquakes
LAFC,
after regaining some eye-catching momentum, drew against the New England
Revolution last weekend, which they haven’t forgot how to throw one away. San
Jose, for their part, seems a little more fired up under new (interim?) head
coach, Steve Ralston. But, with San Jose already in the gutter, this is the same
story as above: anything less than all three for LAFC is the bouncing ball.
New
England Revolution v. Chicago Fire
This
is a game in hand for the Revs – every team above them, DC excepted, has five
games left, while New England has six – and that makes Chicago a gift hand-delivered by Santa. If they can’t bag all three points – and they’ve got a mini-revival
in their sails (1-0-2 is epic for this bunch) – it’s time to write ‘em off.
Montreal
Impact v. New York City FC
Montreal could spoil New England's good fortune by winning this very winnable game at home. NYCFC has only one W in
its last six games, and they’ve been punching mediocre for a while. L’Impact, meanwhile, has a good streak behind them, topped off by two genuinely impressive wins (3-0 v RBNY; 4-1 @ PHI). I’d
expect that to continue - all the way up to all three points.
Vancouver
Whitecaps v. FC Dallas
The
‘Caps had a good thing going to Seattle bopped ‘em on the snout in their last
match, and a little home-cooking should help them get their groove back on.
Dallas hasn’t won on the road since shocking SKC eight games ago, so they
arrive at a decent time for Vancouver, who sits four points out of the
playoffs. I’d call these the ‘Caps points to drop and, with a game in hand on
Portland and RSL, that’s as good as it gets for them. Again, anything less than
three points...
Now,
the kids who caught bad breaks…
Atlanta
United FC v. Real Salt Lake
Vancouver
fans should keep one eye on this one, because, with this match-up they could
easily end the day just two points behind RSL. As for RSL’s chances, they’ll be
better if Atlanta opts to rest some guys, but, in spite of a couple recent road
wins, and improved results generally (4-2-4 in their last 10 games), this is
still RSL on the road. An RSL win would be massive. And also unlikely. That
said, a draw would do. As for Atlanta, look at their subs against San Jose at
midweek and tremble.
Philadelphia
Union v. Sporting Kansas City
I
heard things (disturbing tales of dubious sportsmanship) that shrinks Philly’s
midweek “triumph” to where I can put scare quotes around it. They’d flubbed a
couple “should-wins” before that, and that makes the arrival of a legitimately
hot SKC look like Godzilla stomping up the shore. Philly can drop points
mathematically, but that’s about it.
And,
finally…
Minnesota
United FC v. Portland Timbers
Based
on choices made midweek (groused about here), the Timbers will either, 1) call
on the bench to win this one, or 2) finish trying to kill off Key Diegos
(Valeri and Chara). I’m not sold on the viability of either strategy, and here’s
why: while Minnesota hasn’t won in weeks, they were stinking up other people’s
houses during their bad stretch; their only home loss during that time
came against a Seattle in the midst of them beating everybody, everywhere. The Loons have been a
solid home team all season (8-4-1), and they had three straight wins at home
prior to that loss to Seattle.
Given
a choice between tired starters and giving the bench its shot at glory…shit, I
guess I’d go with glory for the bench. Portland bought itself some space with
their midweek win over Columbus: Vancouver is their only existential threat and
they’ll remain three full points behind the Timbers even in their best case and
Portland’s worst. Personally, I’d be fine (happy even) to see Valeri and
Sebastian Blanco rested; on the flip side of that, I can’t let go of my security
blanket (aka, Chara). I’m less bothered by who starts at forward, though I
hereby cast my vote for Jeremy Ebobisse. I’d also welcome a Lucas Melano start;
if he’s fit enough to start, I can’t think of one damn reason not to.
I’ll
close out this section with one final thought: David Guzman is the one player I
absolutely want to see start in this game. You see, I’m developing this loose
theory that he’s Portland’s best hope for getting more out of its attack – and he’s
a relatively low-risk gambit at that.
OK,
that’s it, and sorry for the mess above. It felt nice to have a little more
breathing room (e.g., to work with more space than 280-characters). Now, let’s
see how it all pans out.
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