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| My real mom. (I'm lying. But she still values my work, this fake mom.) |
I’m going to start this post by alerting anyone who finds it to its absolutely massive goddamn tail - e.g., tabled results that
show the result and opposition for the last 10 games for every team in MLS, and
not just where they played those games, but the quality of the opposition
(Note: “IN” means teams above the playoff line, “OUT” means the opposite;
“Marginal” are the teams that traverse that line with some regularity). The same blocks
also include each team’s schedule through the rest of the season, and a
“Status” report for each teams noting trends (mostly in the results, but patterns, wherever I find them) in their last 10 games.
Anyway, that’s all down there and, my mom thinks it’s
informative, and that’s good enough for me. Oh, I also include some very quick
notes on the last game (or games) for every MLS team that played in Week 27,
but, between all those “InfoBoxes” and now, I’m going to touch on the last
week’s bigger games or trends. I decide what matters in that between…just all
the damn data below, watching MLSSoccer.com’s Match Day Central (hereafter “MDC”;
also, I’m fascinated by Bobby Warshaw), checking out the highlights and box
scores for all the games, and reading Matt Doyle’s preview (sometimes) and rear view posts (here's Week 27's).
And so, with all that in my head, here’s what I found noteworthy about Week 27….
…but, to highlight some things that’ll get buried otherwise:
the New York Red Bulls finally coughed up an inevitable loss, and that’s fine
(probably, see Infoboxes); Columbus Crew SC and/or/because Justin Meram had a
good week, thanks to a 2-1 win over New York City FC at home; and, finally, the
Portland Timbers and the Philadelphia Union had highly similar Week 27s - e.g.,
winning a you-really-should-win (to put it passive-aggressively), then
sacrifice-drawing a team they’d normally expect, and play, to win. I wrote up
the Timbers games (for they are my team) - here are notes on the home win on Toronto FC (50% gibberish, I'm guessing), and the later road draw at the New England Revolution (maybe 40%). OK,
now on the formal talking points. In no particular order…
For a team on top the Western Conference and within spitting
distance of the Supporters’ Shield, FC Dallas looks about as convincing as your
kid coming home just fucking reeking of booze and trying to pass that off as the
flu (true story). Sure, they did the business at home with a 4-2 win over a
positively moribund Houston Dynamo team (see InfoBoxes; it’s bad) - and even in
the road loss against the Sad Jose Earthquakes (thanks!@MrsRustedT), Michael
Barrios, who has been good, plays a brilliant one-touch to set up Dallas’ second goal…hold on, back up. They lost to Sad Jose? Maybe Sad Jose has
Dallas’ number - having beat them, and worse, just 5 games prior - but Dallas
has played easier teams eight times in their last 10 games (aka, the “OUT”
teams), and they’ve gone 3-3-2 over that time. Better than .500, sure, but how
far will that carry them in the post-season, aka, after the league loses the
fat?
The loss to Sad Jose (note: it’s also easier to type
that) looks even worse against how easily the Vancouver Whitecaps managed the
same team home-and-home over the past two weekends. First, let us pause to
appreciate Alphonso Davies' finish on the ‘Caps first goal (and Doyle’s post embedded an extended clip of the goal; worth it), but the deeper story is that
Vancouver has played a schedule about as soft as Dallas’, only they’ve gone
4-3-0 against OUT teams over their last 10 games….which doesn’t sound all that
impressive until you sift out some more details. They’ve gone 4-0-2 over their
last six - and that tells you where their losses are - but they also survived a
rash of “IN” teams during this (@ NYC, @ POR, v RBNY during that same stretch.
Trends are good…and can someone forward that note to Portland Timbers F.O., plz?
Moving on, why not slip the sad shit into the middle? Here’s
that: if Toronto FC is not fucked, I’ve forgotten what that looks like
apparently. In a predictable sequence of events (totally called, last week),
they lost to both Portland on the road and Los Angeles FC at home. I think it
was MDC that said Toronto’s chances at reaching the playoffs dropped to 7%, and
I don’t even know why they bother with the math. The loss at Portland turned
LAFC at home into a hostage situation (e.g., there’s only one good outcome),
Carlos Vela kicked the corpse on his way out the door, and I think Victor
Vazquez went down to boot. It’s not impossible - not with the soft spots in
their end-run - but, even with some attackers having good years, they just
never turned the corner. Is it possible they’ll make it? Sure. Yeah, fuck it. I’ll
go stripping somewhere if they make it. Speaking of tales of triumph…
If you think the Seattle Sounders’ 3-1 win over Sporting Kansas
City was the biggest event of Week 27, I’m here to tell you you’re wrong. The
honors go to the Punic-War-style shit (6-2, and the penultimate goal was unspeakable) Real
Salt Lake did to the Los Angeles Galaxy. Both Doyle’s write-up and MDC have
interesting notes on how RSL did it - and the notes on Damir Kreilach may be
exaggerated (you decide) - but both of them dragged Sunday “Sunny” Stephen into
the spotlight. He’s a safety net, they said, a tough and rangy one that lets their
attackers play as if the net’s not there. No small number of RSL’s goals
doubled as heart-breaking embarrassment for a Galaxy team that’s winless….for a
while. Given the four teams above them - e.g, Vancouver (improving), Portland
(savvy), Seattle (raging, frankly), and, in a satisfying twist, the RSL team
that just kicked the shit out of them six times - the last wrung on the ladder
will keep rising for LA…
…and do pay mind to this business of shifting ladders,
Portland, because the give is giving out.
OK, yes, fine, Seattle beat SKC, and dropped a solid three
goals on them before they sent them home. The top-line point here is the
elephant in the room: Seattle winning 8 games straight is impressive, so just
swallow that fucking horse pill and move on. Moreover, they are getting those
wins against “IN” teams, to the tune of going 6-0-1 against them in their last
10 games. Bluntly, there is nothing to dismiss about this run (see Infoboxes
for deeper details). All the same, this team must have killed a whole fucking farms' worth of bunnies (and I wouldn’t put it past them), because they’ve
built this run on goals like this, this, this and this. Of course, they all
count, but Lady Luck has this thing about walking away from Seattle the night
before MLS Cup. I’m already not a fan, but, if the Sounders give me one more
shitty MLS Cup, I’m taking shit into my own hands (e.g., getting a Chad
Marshall voodoo doll and stabbing its head every 5 minutes).
With that, we’ve reached the dividing line. It’s a total
grind from here.
ATLANTA
6-2-2; 23 gf, 13 ga, 3-0-2 at home; 3-2-0 away
Record v. IN: LWW
Record v. OUT: WDWDWL
Record v. Marginal: W
Last game: They lost 1-3 at DC, and that’s mostly
good for DC; Atlanta can take that knock. On the plus side, there’s this stray
comment from the highlights on Luciano Acosta’s first goal for DC - “couldn’t
have been more against the run of play” - but Guzan gave up the near-post there
and later in a way that hurts a bit.
LAST 10/STATUS:
They’ve devised their own logic for most of the season - see the wins at
Montreal and Philadelphia - while dropping points in places where it at least
makes sense (e.g. away to Dallas and…bigger stretch, DC). Still, they have the
weapons (or even just The Weapon (Josef Martinez) to make a serious run.
Games left: @ DC, @ COL, @ SJ, v RSL, @ RBNY, v NE, v
CHI, @ TFC
W
|
L
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
v ORL
|
@ FCD
|
@ PHI
|
v SEA
|
v DC
|
@ MTL
|
v TFC
|
v CLB
|
@ ORL
|
@ DC
|
4-0
|
2-3
|
2-0
|
1-1
|
3-1
|
2-1
|
2-2
|
3-1
|
2-1
|
1-3
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
M
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
CHICAGO
1-7-2, 13 gf, 23 ga, 1-2-1 at home, 0-5-1 away
Record v. IN: WLLLLD
Record v. OUT: LL
Record v. Marginal: LL
Last game: They had a bye week, time to dream of
another draw…or maybe more! Dare they dream?
LAST 10/STATUS:
Not getting blown out, but losing very, very consistently. Very consistently.
Can they take off the rest of 2018 and, maybe just reboot next year?
Games left: v ORL, @ NE, @ NYC, v LAF, @ DC, @ ATL, v
DC
W
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
v NYC
|
@ VAN
|
v PHI
|
@ FCD
|
v TFC
|
@ TFC
|
@ RSL
|
v RB
|
@ MTL
|
v CLB
|
3-2
|
2-3
|
3-4
|
1-3
|
1-2
|
0-3
|
1-2
|
0-1
|
1-2
|
1-1
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
M
|
I
|
M
|
I
|
COLUMBUS
5-4-1, 13 gf, 18 ga, 4-0-0 at home, 1-4-1 away
Record v. IN: LLLWLW
Record v. OUT: WWD
Record v. Marginal: W
Last game: Harrison Afful belted a fine candidate for
GOTW, but Justin Meram scoring (even this ugly) and/or looking good holds
season-changing potential for Columbus.
LAST 10/STATUS:
One of the toughest teams to read in the league, due largely to a pattern that
sees them beat the Red Bulls on the road one week, then get a draw at Chicago
three weeks later. They’re high middlin’, probably, but tilting toward middlin.
The next few weeks will say a lot - maybe even all the way to Montreal on the
road. And they got saved last week, right? The team, I mean. Are they staying
in Columbus?
Games left: @ FCD, @ PTD, v COL, v PHI, @ MTL, @ ORL,
v MIN
L
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
D
|
W
|
@ LAF
|
v RSL
|
@ LAG
|
@ NYC
|
v ORL
|
@ RB
|
v HOU
|
@ ATL
|
@ CHI
|
v NYC
|
0-2
|
2-1
|
0-4
|
0-2
|
3-2
|
3-2
|
1-0
|
1-3
|
1-1
|
2-1
|
I
|
M
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
COLORADO
2-5-3, 11 gf, 20 ga, 2-2-1 at home, 0-3-2 away
Record v. IN: DWDLL
Record v. OUT: LDLW
Record v. Marginal: L
Last game: Another team with a bye week, only these
guys had a 6-goal blow-out at home stuck between the teeth.
LAST 10/STATUS:
[NOTE: This is stale.] Acosta made them “scrappy,” but WWD, looked a lot better
than DLL. The gaes had made sense for a while, but blowing up like that to RSL,
and at home? Again, it doesn’t matter because the Rapids are 50 Degrees of
Fucked for 2018.
Games left: @ PTD, v ATL, @ CLB, @ SEA, v LAF, @ MIN,
@ SJ, v FCD
L
|
L
|
D
|
D
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
v SEA
|
@ MTL
|
v HOU
|
@ RSL
|
@ DC
|
v LAG
|
v SJ
|
@ LAG
|
@ LAF
|
v RSL
|
1-2
|
1-2
|
0-0
|
2-2
|
1-2
|
2-1
|
2-1
|
2-2
|
0-2
|
0-6
|
O
|
M
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
DALLAS
4-4-2, 19 gf, 18 ga, 3-1-0 at home, 1-3-2 away
Record v. IN: LW
Record v. OUT: WDLLWDLW
Last game(s): As noted above, they choked at Sad
Jose, then rebounded at home over Houston, and I don’t see how anything but the
play of Michael Barrios (and Maxi Urruti) keeps the flame of hope burning in
North Texas. Also, they gave up 5 goals over these last two games - and the
first two against Sad Jose will keep Oscar Pareja up at night.
LAST 10/STATUS:
The top-line note here: their recent history shows they went 3-3-2 against
weaker teams; that they got half the points a good team would have this past
week only underlines that pattern. On top of the West, but their end-run stopped
looking easy a while ago.
Games left: v CLB, @VAN, @ POR, v ORL, @ DC, v SKC, @
COL
L
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
W
|
@ RSL
|
v CHI
|
@ HOU
|
@SKC
|
v SJ
|
@ SEA
|
v MIN
|
@ HOU
|
@ SJ
|
v HOU
|
0-2
|
3-1
|
1-1
|
3-2
|
1-3
|
1-2
|
2-0
|
1-1
|
3-4
|
4-2
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
DC UNITED
5-4-1, 17 gf, 14 ga; 5-2-0 at home, 0-2-1 away
Record v. IN: WLLWLLW
Record v. OUT: WW
Record v. Marginal: D
Last game(s): They got burned a little losing to
Philly - per my notes “Hamid had some SAVES,” and the ref should have hit them
with the PK/red card combo after Jack Elliott handled the ball in the area -
but, y’know, shit happens. Or doesn’t. It did versus Atlanta - especially for
the Wayne Rooney/Luciano Acosta show - and that showed serious resilience…
LAST 10/STATUS:
…but it’s still close. Home is treating them better than the road, but they’re
on the wrong side of .500 against MLS’ better teams. They get an assist from
having just two away games to go (for they sputtered on the road), plus an
end-run that features a 5/4 split between OUT teams and IN teams. That and
their games in hand give them a shot. I'm about to upgrade them to Marginal (the honor!).
Games left: @ NYC, v MIN, v NY, v MTL, v CHI, v FCD,
v TFC, v NYC, @ CHI
W
|
L
|
L
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
W
|
v VAN
|
@ ATL
|
v RB
|
v COL
|
@ MTL
|
v ORL
|
v POR
|
@ RB
|
v PHI
|
v ATL
|
3-1
|
1-3
|
0-1
|
2-1
|
1-1
|
3-2
|
4-1
|
0-1
|
0-2
|
3-1
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
M
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
HOUSTON
0-7-3, 9 gf, 16 ga, 0-3-2 at home, 0-4-1 away
Record v. IN: DLLLLLDLL
Record v. OUT: D
Last game (s): Another week, another unmitigated
disaster. They lost to a RBNY B-team to start the week, and ended it by giving
up four goals to Dallas - and one of them featured Andrew Wenger, again, and defending
is a skill/mindset, people. Mauro Manotas buried a GOTW candidate, but, math
don’t mean shit, because the Dynamo died this week.
LAST 10/STATUS:
Playing good teams, getting slaughtered. Nothing above, or below, looks good.
And I don’t think they’ve got fire-sale potential on a lot of these players -
and that says something too.
Games left: v PTD, @ COL, v SJ, @ SEA, @ LAF, v SEA,
@ LAG
D
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
@ COL
|
v FCD
|
v PHI
|
@ POR
|
v SKC
|
@ CLB
|
v RSL
|
v FCD
|
@ RB
|
@ FCD
|
0-0
|
1-1
|
1-3
|
1-2
|
0-1
|
0-1
|
1-2
|
1-1
|
0-1
|
2-4
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
LA GALAXY
3-3-4, 20 gf, 26 ga, 1-0-3 at home, 2-3-1 away
Record v. IN: WDLDL (adjusted Seattle to IN; that’s deep
enough into the winning streak)
Record v. OUT: WWLDD
Last game: Embarrassing, obviously, especially after
they scored a decent opening goal, but Michael Ciani stunk up the joint (links above!),
and with a coterie of assistants.
LAST 10/STATUS:
With those three wins receding further and further into the rear-view mirror,
the competitive churn of the Lower Western Conference, swallowed LA. With
what’s ahead, the road game against TFC gets a lot bigger because they’ve got
three rough, rough games after that, and their margin just evaporated.
Games left: @ TFC, v SEA, v VAN, @SKC, @ MIN, v HOU
W
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
L
|
D
|
D
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
@ NE
|
@ PHI
|
@ LAF
|
v ORL
|
@ COL
|
v MIN
|
v COL
|
@ SEA
|
v LAF
|
@ RSL
|
3-2
|
3-1
|
2-2
|
4-3
|
1-2
|
2-2
|
2-2
|
0-5
|
1-1
|
2-6
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
LAFC
4-3-3, 17 gf, 15 ga, 3-1-2 at home, 1-2-1 away
Record v. IN: WDLLWD
Record v. OUT: WLLW
Last game: Set aside how shaky TFC have been this
season; that LAFC dropped four goals on them validates their late run of
positive results (putting up a pair of GOTW candidates hardly hurts the cause).
The one through-line I got in the commentary (maybe because it’s low-hanging)
centered on Carlos Vela and Diego Rossi getting back on track.
LAST 10/STATUS:
I see them as a pretty good case for not getting caught up in the ups and
downs, but to look at where this team is losing and who against. That said,
won’t lie: that Minnesota loss sticks out like a sore thumb. On the plus side,
they should be able to pile on the wins over the next five games - and, if they
don’t, watch out.
Games left: v NE, v SJ, @ CHI, @ COL, v HOU, v VAN, @
SKC
W
|
D
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
v ORL
|
v POR
|
@ MIN
|
v LA
|
@ RB
|
v SKC
|
v RSL
|
v COL
|
@ LA
|
@ TFC
|
4-1
|
0-0
|
1-5
|
2-2
|
1-2
|
0-2
|
2-0
|
2-0
|
1-1
|
4-2
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
MINNESOTA
4-5-1, 19 gf, 22 ga, 4-1-0 at home, 0-4-1 away
Record v. IN: WWLDLL
Record v. OUT: WL
Record v. Marginal: WL
Last game: Another team, another bye week. Probably welcomed
the weekend off from getting kicked around.
LAST 10/STATUS:
Only good away from home and, judging by their last five games (4 of ‘em away),
the revival has ended. The hard truth is, they’re not all that good. Now 12
points out of the playoffs, they’ve run through a fucking paddle-wheel over the
next 5 games. (God knows where Colorado will be by the time they play them.)
Games left: @ DC, @ RSL, v POR, v NYC, @ PHI, v COL,
v LA, @ COL
W
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
v TFC
|
@ HOU
|
v RSL
|
v NE
|
v LAF
|
@ VAN
|
v SEA
|
@ LA
|
@ FCD
|
@ SKC
|
4-3
|
0-3
|
3-2
|
2-1
|
5-1
|
2-4
|
1-2
|
2-2
|
0-2
|
0-2
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
M
|
I
|
I
|
M
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
MONTREAL
4-3-3, 15 gf, 14 ga, 4-1-1 at home, 0-2-2 away
Record v. IN: LDLDW
Record v. OUT: WWDWL
Last game: This team keeps showing up well in the box scores - and Week 27 was no different; they looked sharp as their numbers in the highlights. Nothing I’ve read or seen tells me they didn’t earn this one - and
Piatti…the motherfucker’s like nature (he always finds a way).
LAST 10/STATUS:
“The perfect low-middle team, but with a shot at the playoffs.” That’s from
this space last week, and they only look better for doing it - thanks, in no
small part to what’s below them (no, in the standings). The next four games
will really back them up against the ol’ measuring stick and, if they survive
that, they’ll more than deserve the post-season; they'll be ready for it.
Games left: @ PHI, v NYC, @ DC, v CLB, v TFC, @ NE
W
|
L
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
D
|
D
|
W
|
L
|
W
|
v COL
|
@NYC
|
v SJ
|
@ POR
|
v ATL
|
v DC
|
@ RSL
|
v CHI
|
@ TFC
|
v RB
|
2-1
|
0-3
|
2-0
|
2-2
|
1-2
|
1-1
|
1-1
|
2-1
|
1-3
|
3-0
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
NEW ENGLAND
1-6-3, 12 gf, 19 ga, 1-2-2 at home, 0-4-1 away
Record v. IN: LLLLD
Record v. OUT: WDLDL
Last game: They came within Lucas Melano’s (familiar,
too, too familiar) brain-freeze of losing this game. I didn’t say much about
New England when I wrote my notes for their draw against Portland, but there
wasn’t much to remember.
LAST 10/STATUS:
With their last W primed to fall off next weekend, there’s nothing to call this
team but broken. They should sweep their remaining homes games, but that
outlines the problem as well as anything: this team is terrible on the road and, when they play better teams in their end-run, they play them on the road. It’ll be fascinating to see whether they
hold a fire-sale at season’s end, or if they try to build around this same,
sputtering core. Some potential bargains in here.
Games left: @ NYC, @ LAF, v CHI, @ TFC, @ ATL, v ORL,
@ RSL, v MTL
W
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
v DC
|
v SEA
|
v LA
|
@ MIN
|
@ RB
|
@ ORL
|
v PHI
|
@ DC
|
@ PHI
|
v POR
|
3-2
|
0-0
|
2-3
|
1-2
|
0-2
|
3-3
|
2-3
|
0-2
|
0-1
|
1-1
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
NYCFC
5-4-1, 14 gf, 15 ga, 3-0-1 at home, 2-4-0 away
Record v. IN: WWDLL
Record v. OUT: LWLW
Record v. Marginal: W (Montreal)
Last game: The MDC people took a weighty shit on this
loss for NYCFC, down even to shooting down absences/excuses for the late,
shitty run. The box score tilts heavily toward Columbus, and even the commenting
team slapped the dreaded “very much against the run of play” on Ismael Tajouri-Shradi’s goal…
LAST 10/STATUS:
Home form is carrying them - or, rather, that road keeps getting worse. They
have more home games than away ahead - and that should help - but the momentum’s
all wrong, and that leaves too many of those games looking taller than they
should for a team with aspirations. Does Patrick Vieira’s departure cast a
shadow?
Games left: v NE, v DC, @ MTL, v CHI, @ MIN, @ DC, v
PHI
W
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
D
|
W
|
L
|
v TFC
|
@ CHI
|
v RB
|
v MTL
|
v CLB
|
@ ORL
|
@ SEA
|
v VAN
|
@ TFC
|
@ PHI
|
2-1
|
2-3
|
1-0
|
3-0
|
2-0
|
2-0
|
1-3
|
2-2
|
3-2
|
0-2
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
M
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
ORLANDO
1-7-2, 16 gf, 28 ga(!), 1-2-2 at home, 0-5-0 away
Record v. IN: LLLLLLD
Record v. OUT: WL
Record v. Marginal: D
Last game: It’s a miracle this team can keep its chin
up - and it’s awful damn nice for Scott Sutter to give a team this destitute
something to cheer about. Same with Dwyer…I mean, imagine having a decent year
during a shitty season for your team.
LAST 10/STATUS:
The Charge of the Light Brigade, once a week, for your entertainment. Game and
battling as they are, with nothing but a string of falling short to show for
it.
Games left: @ SKC, @ CHI, v HOU, @ FCD, @ NE, v SEA,
v CLB, @ NY
L
|
L
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
@ ATL
|
@ LAF
|
v TFC
|
@ CLB
|
v NYC
|
@ LAG
|
v NE
|
@ DC
|
v ORL
|
v PHI
|
0-4
|
1-4
|
2-1
|
2-3
|
0-2
|
3-4
|
3-3
|
2-3
|
1-2
|
2-2
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
M
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
PHILADELPHIA
6-3-1, 20 gf, 16 ga, 2-2-0 at home, 4-1-1 away
Record v. IN: LLLW
Record v. OUT: WWWWD
Record v. Marginal: W
Last game(s): Fought back hard enough to win it, only
to have Sutter slip them that (beautiful) mickey. Add that near-win to an actual win, on the
road, and against a desperate rival (DC), and…if I’m being honest, the Union’s week
looks better than Portland’s. Corey Burke has been this team’s god-send - they
needed a forward who can score reliably - and that can produce valuable knock-ins
like giving C. J. Sapong a little less attention, and someone to partner with in doing this or that.
LAST 10/STATUS:
Looking better and better as those 3 Ls slip further into the past - and note
where they’re getting them (away) and how consistently they’re whuppin’ the
underlings.
Games left: v
MTL, @ SEA, v SKC, @ CLB, v MIN, v NY, @ NYC
L
|
W
|
L
|
W
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
D
|
v ATL
|
@ CHI
|
v LA
|
@ HOU
|
@ POR
|
@ NE
|
v NYC
|
v NE
|
@ DC
|
@ ORL
|
0-2
|
4-3
|
1-3
|
3-1
|
0-3
|
3-2
|
2-0
|
1-0
|
2-0
|
2-2
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
M
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
PORTLAND
3-4-3, 12 gf, 14 ga, 3-2-1 at home, 0-2-2 away
Record v. IN: DWLLL
Record v. OUT: WLWD
Record v. Marginal: D (Montreal)
Last game(s): There’s a bit of controversy
(pronounced Britishly) among Timbers fans (near me) over what to make of
Portland’s last two games. The Toronto win was flat-out necessary and, once
they earned that, Portland gambled, trying to win at New England on the cheap.
After four straight losses, though, I saw footprints leading to salvation.
LAST 10/STATUS:
The return to savvy self-awareness (as I see it) probably bodes well for a team
more than a little short on options in the attack. They’ve cleared up the
defensive issues that killed them during the losing streak, but that seems to
keep translating to points left on the table.
Games left: v COL, @ HOU, v CLB, @ MIN, v FCD, @ RSL,
v RSL, @ VAN
D
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
W
|
D
|
@ LAF
|
v MTL
|
v HOU
|
v PHI
|
v VAN
|
@ DC
|
@SKC
|
v SEA
|
v TFC
|
@ NE
|
0-0
|
2-2
|
2-1
|
3-0
|
1-2
|
1-4
|
0-3
|
0-1
|
2-0
|
1-1
|
I
|
M
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
RBNY
7-2-1, 15 gf, 11 ga, 5-1-0 at home, 2-1-1 away
Record v. IN: WLWD
Record v. OUT: WWWWL
Record v. Marginal: WL
Last game(s): I’ve been framing this team’s wins as
borrowed for a while now and the home win over Houston had that feel to it;
Potemkin, façade, call it whatever. The worst thing about the loss to Montreal
is that they rested players for the game before in order to win that one. And, golly, they didn’t win it.
LAST 10/STATUS:
The crazy bastards keep doing it, grinding out one result after the next,
beating the teams they should, etc. If there’s a concern, its shrinking margins
on the wins, paired with a little “shrinkage” in quality of the opposition.
Still, barring a collapse, they should play out comfortably.
Games left: @ DC, v TFC, v ATL, @ SJ, @ PHI, v ORL
W
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
v SKC
|
v NE
|
@ DC
|
v CLB
|
v LAF
|
@ CHI
|
@ VAN
|
v DC
|
v HOU
|
@ MTL
|
3-2
|
2-0
|
1-0
|
2-3
|
2-1
|
1-0
|
2-2
|
1-0
|
1-0
|
0-3
|
I
|
M
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
M
|
RSL
5-2-3, 23 gf, 12 ga, 3-0-2 at home, 2-2-1 away
Record v. IN: WLW
Record v. OUT: LDDWWW
Record v. Marginal: D
Last game: I think the best way to get at what RSL
did over the past two games is to note their goal differential: +2. They scored
12 goals in their past two games, and that’s it. All the same, and for all the
breaks they caught, I expected something out of them burying - no, exorcising -
the road demon by walloping Colorado. As for LA....well, sometimes a cat crosses a street when it's got a limp.
LAST 10/STATUS:
Weird that they bookended their last 10 games with high-scoring wins (their 4-2
win v. SKC just fell off). On the right kind of roll - and, Timbers fans, the
team faces this belief-drunk team twice in the end-run. Best-case, the self-esteem doesn't stick.
Games left: v MIN, @ ATL, @ SKC, v POR, v NE, @ POR
W
|
L
|
D
|
D
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
v FCD
|
@ MIN
|
v COL
|
@ SJ
|
v CHI
|
v MTL
|
@ LAF
|
@ HOU
|
@ COL
|
v LA
|
2-0
|
2-3
|
2-2
|
0-0
|
2-1
|
1-1
|
0-2
|
2-1
|
6-0
|
6-2
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
M
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
SEATTLE
8-0-2, 19 gf, 5 ga, 5-0-0 at home, 3-0-2 away
Record v. IN: DWWWWWW
Record v. OUT: WW
Record v. Marginal: D
Last game:[Ed. - Whoops! Just skipped this one!] Then again, they're just winning. [aka, shutting down clowns.]
LAST 10/STATUS:
That long line of Ws against IN teams should terrify the rest of the league.
Bigger than that and, again, I draw everyone’s attention to their goals against
in their last 10 games - 5 fucking goals, a 0.50 goals against - and that really
goes back 11 games. Finally, to underline the notes way up above, all this is
coming against good teams..
Games left: @ POR, v SKC, @ VAN, v PHI, @ LAG, v COL,
v HOU, @ ORL, @ HOU, v SJ
D
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
@ NE
|
@ ATL
|
v VAN
|
@ SJ
|
v NYC
|
@ MIN
|
v FCD
|
v LA
|
@ POR
|
v SKC
|
0-0
|
1-1
|
2-0
|
1-0
|
3-1
|
2-1
|
2-1
|
5-0
|
1-0
|
3-1
|
M
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
i
|
SAN JOSE
2-6-2, 13 gf, 17 ga, 2-2-2 at home, 0-4-0 away
Record v. IN: LDWLWL
Record v. OUT: LLD
Record v. Marginal: L
Last game(s): They had some fucking moments in that
win over Dallas, only to have Vancouver remind them of their station. They scored some beauties too (yeah, yeah, second one isn't so good), but bright spots are fleeting that far down the standings.
LAST 10/STATUS:
Showing signs of life far, far too late to do them any good; nothing can erase
the rash of yellow and red squares they collected mid-season - certainly not a
2-6-2 record in the last 10 games. They can hurt others (Dallas, for example),
but can never help themselves.
Games left: v SKC, v ATL, @ LAF, @ HOU,
v NY, v COL, @ SEA
L
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
W
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
W
|
L
|
@ POR
|
@ MTL
|
v SEA
|
v RSL
|
v FCD
|
@ COL
|
v TFC
|
v VAN
|
v FCD
|
@ VAN
|
1-2
|
0-2
|
0-1
|
0-0
|
3-1
|
1-2
|
1-1
|
2-3
|
4-3
|
1-2
|
I
|
M
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
SKC
4-5-1, 17 gf, 17, 2-1-1 at home, 2-4-0 away
Record v. IN: LLLWWL
Record v. OUT: DWW
Record v. Marginal: L
Last game: As with happens most times with Seattle, I
suspect witchcraft. Or, on a serious note, MDC wrap-up called SKC the better
team - and without hesitation. Doyle, on the other hand, shined Seattle’s knobs a bit. The box score favors MDC. I will say this: I don’t know what the fuck happened on
the first goal SKC gave Seattle, but, I’d definitely look into it.
LAST 10/STATUS:
“Waking up. Between wins at home, away, against good teams and bad ones, SKC
has four shut-outs.” With Seattle being the brick wall it is, the fairer read
sits akimbo and waits…uh, not the next game…or the game after…or the next. Ah,
there it is: watch what SKC does from hosting RSL till the end of the season,
and that’ll give you a better read on their shot at lifting MLS Cup.
Games left: v ORL, @ SJ, @ PHI, v RSL, v LAG, @ VAN,
@ FCD, v LAF
L
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
@ MTL
|
@ RSL
|
v TFC
|
@ RB
|
v FCD
|
@ HOU
|
@ LAF
|
v POR
|
v MIN
|
@ SEA
|
0-2
|
2-4
|
2-2
|
2-3
|
2-3
|
1-0
|
2-0
|
3-0
|
2-0
|
1-3
|
M
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
I
|
TORONTO
3-4-3, 16 gf, 18 ga, 2-2-0 at home, 1-2-3 away
Record v. IN: DDLLL
Record v. OUT: LWWD
Record v. Marginal: W
Last game(s): As noted above, they walked through the
Valley of the Shadow of Death, and things didn’t turn out so good. I get why
people hung on - if nothing else, Jozy Altidore doing precisely what he did
this past weekend made sense of that - but, there’s this song by Bob Mould
called “Too Far Down.” It’s apropos. I don’t see how this weekend was not
fatal.
LAST 10/STATUS:
With how hard whatever revival they had died this weekend, it almost doesn’t
matter. I see them getting five points, at most, over their next five games.
Games left: v LAG, @ NY, v NE, v VAN, @ DC, @ MTL, v
ATL
D
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
D
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
@ SKC
|
@ORL
|
@ CHI
|
v CHI
|
@ ATL
|
v NYC
|
@ SJ
|
v MTL
|
@ POR
|
v LAF
|
2-2
|
1-2
|
2-1
|
3-0
|
2-2
|
2-3
|
1-1
|
3-1
|
0-2
|
2-4
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
M
|
I
|
I
|
VANCOUVER
5-3-2, 19 gf, 16 ga, 3-1-1 at home, 2-2-1 away
Record v. IN: DWD
Record v. OUT: LWLLWWW
Last game: Even if the predictably beat San Jose,
they did the right thing by leaving nothing about the matter in question.
NOTES: Do
mind the which side of IN/OUT divide that the ‘Caps are getting it done
against. The Galaxy slipping gives them a soft spot in the games ahead, but
they’ve got five rough games on either side of that. The best thing I can say
is that they get the toughest teams at home.
Games left: v SEA, v FCD, @ LAG, @ TFC, v SKC, @ LAF,
v POR
L
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
v COL
|
v CHI
|
@ DC
|
@ SEA
|
v MIN
|
@ NYC
|
@ POR
|
v RB
|
@ SJ
|
v SJ
|
0-1
|
3-2
|
1-3
|
0-2
|
4-2
|
2-2
|
2-1
|
2-2
|
3-2
|
2-1
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
O
|
I
|
I
|
I
|
O
|
O
|
OK, that’s it for this week. I hope you enjoyed the madness!
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