MLS Week 3: Less Brief Notes on Many Topics

What's new is old, mfs.

Grand Narrative

Major League Soccer Week 3 served up some actual upsets – e.g., Minnesota United FC shivving Orlando City SC in Florida, the Colorado Rapids stunning Rocky Mountain rivals in their fascist-adjacent stadium (i.e., America First is a bit freighted in 2024) – one head-fake upset - e.g., Club du Foot Montreal tripping MLS’s very favorite team on its way to the coronation the league wants like cocaine, fine cigars and cured meats – and at least one blowout – e.g., Atlanta United FC’s stroll over the New England Revolution. It’s all more or less normal from there, if with some noteworthy wrinkles, but there’s still 31 largely meaningless games to go. Plenty of time for rewrites in the script. For most teams, anyway.

In other news, The Mothership’s stubborn refusal to fill in the Form Guide forced me to create a sad old guy version of one (Viva Excel!), but I’m glad I did because, oh, the tiny trends that would have slipped down the memory-hole without it. Don’t get me wrong: a lot of teams are having something close to the normal ups-‘n’-downs – e.g., let’s go with Charlotte FC and RSL or, hell, even Colorado – but then you’ve got New England’s flop-sweat start to 2024, or Sporting Kansas City or Nashville SC’s dead-cat bounce string of draws. Again, these are tiny trends – and I pick at some of them below – but, with some exceptions (hello, San Jose Earthquakes!), not many of those present as permanent conditions thus far. Moving on…

I’m introducing a new segment this week. It’s nothing more or less than stuff that pops in my head as it drifts off during extended highlight sessions (see below for clarification). I haven’t come up wht of a name for it yet, so let’s go with…

Shouts from the Peanut Gallery

1) MLS should be raiding the bench of Europe’s good-to-great clubs looking for high-end depth pieces – the kinds of players the bigger teams sign as either development or insurance. That doesn’t mean they should stop looking for the latest hot, young thing from Central/South America…hold on. I think MLS is already doing this, only before they get to Europe. Still, I’m guessing there’s talent a-wasting on the benches of Europe’s more ambitious clubs, if not the bigger ones.

1a) Is it just me or has MLS essentially and/or completely given up on Central America? If so, is that wise? Half of me thinks probably, but the other half feels like they may be missing out.

2) I don’t know the name of the guy who paired with Maurice Edu for the RSL v Colorado broadcast, but 1) he really seemed to enjoy needling him, and 2) he poked him into a good conversation about why Zac Steffen – or any semi-ambitious American player – would return to MLS. The short answer is, for reliable starting minutes. I guess it’s just kind of nice that MLS has enough credibility to where that makes sense now because I remember much, much different days.

3) To flag a couple things not noted above: 1) I’m still convinced the East will be a murder buffet in 2024; I count at least five teams with good bones, plus four or five that look good, and 2) should have mentioned this above, but, while there are a brimming handful of teams without losses, there are no perfect teams in MLS as of Week 3.

4) For funsies, I have money on Miami dropping out against Nashville in the CONCACAF Champions’ Cup.

From here, it’s just a bunch of notes on results and my quick read on how those translate to The Big Picture. I believe the framing speaks for itself, but I want to provide a key for how much I invested in each game. Here’s that:

* more or less skipped it, coasting on the fumes of past impressions.

(H) – I watched the highlights and checked the box score to update the opinion.

([Numbers]) – those represent the parts of the full game I watched on top of a dive into the box score.

Right, time to review this motherfucker, one game at a time and with a link to The Mothership’s game summary in each final score.

Suckas.

New York City FC 1-2 Portland Timbers (I have extended notes on this guy)

The Game in One Sentence: Think a Charge of the Light Brigade by NYCFC; they had the Timbers dead to rights over the opening 35 minutes and then something, perhaps Nick Cushing, happened.

One Thing You Might Not Know: There was a shouting match between Thiago Martins (NYC’s captain, btw) and one of their star/key players, Santiago Rodriguez. By all signs, this does not look like a happy team.

Present Operational Theory re NYCFC: They can’t even be good when they’re good. Given what I think of the East...yeah, I'd be sweatin' the season something moist.

Present Operational Theory re Portland: At risk of indulging my own personal fan-brain…Portland might actually have a season in 2024.

Toronto FC 1-0 Charlotte FC (H)

The Highlights in One Sentence: The xG speaks one simple truth: Lorenzo Insigne is a very talented player when he wants to be; I’ve heard rumors of buy-in by him, maybe even Federico Bernardeschi, but now I have seen some evidence of it.

One Thing You Might Not Know: Enzo Copetti also looked dialed in. So long as both teams have good foundations behind their key players, they’re at least mid-table good.

Present Operational Theory re Toronto: Upgraded to worth keeping an eye on at this point.

Present Operational Theory re Charlotte: They also seem fine and comfortable so far – particularly in a league where finishing 9th or higher counts as an accomplishment.

Slovakia has a grave-digging contest.

Atlanta United FC 4-1 New England Revolution (37-45+, 45-85)

The Game in One Sentence: I’m going to let the clean filth of Atlanta’s third goal speak for the game itself, because they were clean, smart and tight all over the field, and the absolutely deserved to win the game, Giorgios Giakoumakis played out of his skin, etc., but New England also did a fair imitation of clean, smart and tight.

One Thing You Might Not Know: I feel like New England has looked better than their start in a wholly irrational way. And "Chancaly" is the best name in MLS, hands down, even if you takes hearing it for the first time. If that was a mispronunciation, I don't want to know about it.  

Present Operational Theory re Atlanta: They may or may not be in the conversation about genuinely competitive teams, but, based on what I’m seeing in the present, healthy attack, it’s not gonna take much more than a whole and healthy defense to keep them in or around it.

Present Operational Theory re New England: New England looked pretty goddamn sharp for a team playing its sixth game in eighteen days, even after the hole got too deep. The 0-3-0 start and dead-bottom of the East says something, but so does that.

Columbus Crew SC 2-1 Chicago Fire FC (H)

The Highlights in One Sentence: Columbus walked three steps into the grave before putting away the game – i.e., Chicago made them work for it, which means more for Chicago* than it does for Columbus.

One Thing You Might Not Know: MLS Comms decided to go with a Cucho Hernandez highlight reel instead of showing more of Columbus’ eleven shots on goal; the latter seems more relevant than maximizing sales of Columbus’ third kits with Cucho’s name on them, and also probably good for the franchise.

Present Operational Theory re Columbus: Having game-winning talent matters a little more when it comes from off-marquee players (e.g., Jason Russell-Rowe, who, for the record, has looked wholly-competent every time I’ve watched him).

Present Operational Theory re Chicago: * Signs of improvement aside, they’re still the Fire until further notice.

Red Bull New York 2-1 FC Dallas (H)

The Highlights in One Sentence: Mildly unnoteworthy because it delivered the expected result, but noteworthy because the Red Bulls look closer to the energy-drink/actual talent formula they gave them their best seasons; Dallas was on the other side of that, and yet still capable.

One Thing You Might Not Know: Relevant to Dallas, I’m not sure Ema Twumasi is one of the guys you want in a back three. Rough outing for him.

Present Operational Theory re Red Bulls: Already covered above, but also the same thing.

Present Operational Theory re Dallas: Bluntly, they’re underperforming for me regardless of whether they’re short a starter or two. Three points from three games with two at home doesn’t exactly speak to greatness.

Orlando City SC 2-3 Minnesota United FC (1-15, 25-GOAL, 78-90+)

The Game in One Sentence: If you presented me with the starting line-ups, the stats, and the final score, my money would have gone on Orlando, but: 1) I would have second-guessed that bet had I watched the game live, and 2) that feels like a good way to understand what Minnesota’s doing – also, 4.1 xG for Orlando, are you serious? (the punctuation makes that one sentence.)

One Thing You Might Not Know: Don’t know how often they do it, but I saw Orlando set up an attacking pattern that was, like, five dudes pressed against Minnesota’s backline and, the xG tells me it produced chances, but it also looked weird.

Present Operational Theory re Orlando: Duncan McGuire has all the marks of a complete forward – I mean, this is a cracker – so how is the U.S. Men’s National Team doing at that position? asking because I genuinely don’t know.

Present Operational Theory re Minnesota: Is it possible that every player is auditioning for the new head coach? They’re playing just about starving every night.

Philadelphia Union v Seattle Sounders (Postponed)

NOTES: Don't care, really

Present Operational Theory re Philly: Pending. Things might feel different if they beat Seattle…whenever the game takes place. The bones are good, but they’ve started the season slow, no question.

Present Operational Theory re Seattle: Yeah, yeah, the injuries. To give in to my bias a little, it’s worth wondering whether the juggernaut may have slowed.

Austin FC 2-2 St. Louis CITY FC (H)

The Highlights in One Sentence: Know who scored Austin’s goals? Their center backs, Matt Hedges and Julio Cascante – and that’s 2/3 of Austin’s overall goal production for 2024, btw, and all that meant St. Louis’ Cello Pompeu (who I suggested people should watch) just had to do enough to earn St. Louis the draw.

One Thing You Might Not Know: You probably already know this, but Brad Stuver totally made the Save of 2024 so far with some ninja-shit (sorry, you gotta dig, because google's broken) – and this is how the rest of his team repays him?

Present Operational Theory re Austin: Look at this starting line-up and tell me this isn’t a Colorado Rapids-level budget team. I’ll wait.

Present Operational Theory re St. Louis: Rolling along pretty nicely. St. Louis seems to know what they’re doing.

Real Salt Lake 1-2 Colorado Rapids (10-25; 30-45+, 60-75)

The Game in One Sentence: A little subtle in that both teams looked competent on both sides of the ball, but the highlights reinforced a fuzzy impression that Colorado was the better team…which is exactly why I put a little more time into this one – and that’s more about RSL than Colorado, but, also good for them!

One Thing You Might Not Know: Matt Crooks is fucking enormous. Seriously, looks like a basketball player out there. Or a Great Dane.

Present Operational Theory re RSL: Some players on this team rank among my favorites at their position in all of MLS (yes, all of MLS), e.g., Pablo Ruiz, Matias Vera, and Chicho Arango, and the version of that lives in my head feels a little disappointed at RSL’s start. They’re still fine, I think, just not as battle-ready as I thought they’d be.

Present Operational Theory re Colorado: Good for them! Good for Cole Bassett! (This was his 100th game.)

Los Angeles FC 0-0 Sporting Kansas City *

Present Operational Theory re LAFC: They surprised me last season by going all the way to MLS Cup – and yet, if you asked me who looked better, I wouldn’t have an answer. Judgment suspended and all, but I can literally count four teams (because I just did; see above) who have posted stronger starts than LAFC and who also strike me as less…at seas. Related, Colorado is above them in the standings, they’re not one of the four teams I flagged, and if LAFC’s at sea, the Rapids are in the middle of the damn ocean.

Present Operational Theory re SKC: On one level, they’re probably fine. On another, I don’t see where the room for improvement comes in.

San Jose Earthquakes 0-2 Vancouver Whitecaps (H)

The Highlights in One Sentence: Based on what I saw, Vancouver transitioned the ‘Quakes to bejesus and finished them off with a pair of genuinely beautiful finishes (Cut 1, Cut 2), but, despite their impoverished xG, both Espinoza and Amahl Pellegrino fired decent shots for San Jose.

One Thing You Might Not Know: Ryan Gauld played a couple through-balls weighted to the milligram; let the ‘Caps transition at your peril.

Present Operational Theory re San Jose: I can see this team eating shit all season; pray for Jeremy Ebobisse, pray for Cristian Espinoza…

Present Operational Theory re Vancouver: I don’t have a read here, partially because I tend to ignore Vancouver (who, like San Jose, have been historically mediocre, so…), but also because they’ve played just two games against two, for lack of a better word, meh teams (it was just Charlotte and a bye week before this).

FC Cincinnati 0-0 DC United *

NOTE: The result didn’t surprise me, but I don’t think I’d learn enough unless I watched the full game and, for a goal-less draw involving a pressing team? Nah. Feel like I know this story.

Present Operational Theory re Cincy: They’re fine. Busy, but fine. Losing (what is it?) five starters feels like a kick in the head.

Present Operational Theory re DC: Starting to believe they’re on to something. The East looks more like a meat-grinder with each passing week.

Nashville SC 2-2 Los Angeles Galaxy (H)

The Highlights in One Sentence: Tough to beat the middle-aged woman loudly booing the Galaxy player as he took the corner (start watching about 1:45; she’s awesome), but this one looked like a barnburner – and LA really ran up the shots. Also, this (from this): “Nashville were not as airtight as they usually are with a lead, which has to concern manager Gary Smith.” (this was after he described how good LA looks in the attack; how one doesn't determine the other, I can't say).

One Thing You Might Not Know: Sometimes, a performance – in this case, Dru Yearwood – makes you look at a signing that made you shrug in a different light; and Nashville needed it, with Hany Mukhtar only half-present.

Present Operational Theory re Nashville: Just read that Nashville rotated damn-near the whole starting line-up to stay fresh for the CONCACAF Champions’ Cup, so clock this one with a salt lick (aka, a big ol’ grain of salt).

Present Operational Theory re the Galaxy: Despite the note above, I’m sticking with last week’s read – i.e., the Galaxy look very credibly poised to take one of the playoff spots in the Western Conference that they missed last season.

Inter Miami CF 2-3 Club du Foot Montreal (H)

The Highlights in One Sentence: Damn the hype machine for implying only Lionel Messi sat this one out, because Miami rotated heavily enough, but that feels less like the story than the 10 minutes of back-and-forth chaos that started around the 70th minute; suffice to say, goals were scored and a game lost in that time.

One Thing You Might Not Know: Montreal’s Matias Coccaro utterly failed to punish a pair of howling mistakes by, first, Pedro Gallese, then…Tomas Aviles(?) when he twice went one-v-one against an open net and scrambling defenders. On the one hand, he scored a goal later. On the other, word association.

Present Operational Theory re Miami: Little confession here: I typed out a spin a combination of what I believed going in and what I read about somewhere about Miami needing to sort out rotation to relieve their fixture congestion. Without pretending to predict the future, this was not a bad line-up. I’d take Leo Campana tomorrow if the Timbers could get him.

Present Operational Theory re Montreal: As well as I know a fair number of these players, I don’t know some key ones – e.g., Matias Coccaro and Bryce Duke – under a coach I don’t rate as wholly incompetent (that could be an allusion to Hernan Losada, who’s to say?). As such, I’m on “they’ve had a good start till further notice.

Well, that did go on. If you made it through, I hope you enjoyed it and Gesundheit for taking the time.