 |
| Not this, but also this. |
With Week 4 now (mostly) wrapped up (get with it, Toronto
FC), and eight teams already into Week 5, we have enough data on our hands to
scramble some preseason assumptions. To take a stab at one of the bigger ones,
2019 has proved cruel enough to the two New York teams in that neither team’s
name pairs with the word “contender” the way they used to do. So, down they
went. (To those new to these posts, while I don’t strictly rank all the clubs
in Major League Soccer, they listed below in some rough semblance of good to
bad.) Careful (or just patient) observers will also find last year’s MLS Cup
contenders – Atlanta United FC and the Portland Timbers - down in the depths
with New York - where they’ve shown they belong (dammit). Where those teams
have covered themselves in shame and vomit, Toronto FC turned has so far
produced a flawless rejection of their 2018 flame-out – and they doubled-down
with what looks like one hell of an effective new signing in Alejandro Pozuela.
(Just watched the condensed game; it checks out.)
Narratives extended from all the numbers down below, even if
it’s hard in some cases to say where they’ll go from here (say, Philadelphia
Union), and impossible in others (say, FC Cincinnati). I’ll flesh out some of
those points in the narrative summary I’ll post on Orange & Blue Press
(and, once it’s up, link to it right here; it’ll fuck up some of the spacing
down below (dammit), but I’d rather link to that than not), but, overall, it’s
the usual dogpile of teams stacking up in the standings as they do. Or
dogpiles, rather. After the contenders (the top four, maybe five teams below),
you’ve got teams with solid starts/reputations in one pot (say, FC Dallas down
to the Los Angeles Galaxy), and, in another, you’ve got teams that have managed
to pile up some points, but who could go any which way going forward…or maybe
just FC Cincinnati and L’Impact du Montreal.
Shit gets weird after that – and having Atlanta, Portland
and the New York teams crawling around the innards of the outhouse only makes it
the thought of whatever busts out of it feel more threatening somehow (because it crawled out of a damn outhouse, son). Anyway, details
on the most recent results for every team in MLS are down below, along with
some commentary and who everyone has next – something that’s already becoming a
factor in divining at least the short-term future for a lot of teams. I’ll be
digging into that in the narrative, but, till that goes up, enjoy the data!
LOS ANGELES FC,
4-0-1, 13 points, 15 gf, 5 ga, (3-0-0 home, 1-0-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
W
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
|
v SKC
|
v POR
|
@ NYC
|
v RSL
|
@ SJ
|
|
2-1
|
4-1
|
2-2
|
2-1
|
5-0
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: Sure, they’re piling up the points by
beating up a succession of situationally vulnerable teams (and Portland’s got
next!), but that doesn’t roll back the reality that they are actually doing it,
and Carlos Vela is playing MVP soccer.
Next Game: @ DC United, which feels LAFC’s biggest test of
their young season.
TORONTO FC, 3-0-0, 9
points, 10 gf, 3 ga, (2-0-0 home, 1-0-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
|
@ PHI
|
v NE
|
v NYC
|
|
3-1
|
3-2
|
4-0
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: What was serious got more serious with the
arrival Alejandro Pozuelo. This win looked entirely team-based, and that should
be at least moderately terrifying, if only around the Eastern Conference.
Next Game: v Chicago Fire, which feels less like a fattened
hen this week than it did last, but playing them in Toronto should make up for
whatever improvements the Fire have made.
SPORTING KC, 2-1-1, 7
points, 11 gf, 4 ga, (2-0-0 home, 0-1-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
L
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
|
@ LAF
|
v PHI
|
@ COL
|
v MTL
|
|
1-2
|
2-0
|
1-1
|
7-1
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: The inescapable reality around the
highlights is that SKC scored seven fucking goals in this game- and that’s a
tribute to efficiency wherever it happens. That said, do check the box score because
it was stunningly even. Everywhere but shots on goal, at least.
Next Game: @ FC Cincinnati, where I wouldn’t expect them to
run up the score…
SEATTLE SOUNDERS,
3-0-1, 10 points, 10 gf, 3 ga, (2-0-0 home, 1-0-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
D
|
|
v CIN
|
v COL
|
@ CHI
|
@ VAN
|
|
4-1
|
2-0
|
4-2
|
0-0
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: Eh, shit happens – especially if the ‘Caps
are rounding into form.
Next Game: v Real Salt Lake, which, given the totality of
trends, counts as a should-win for Seattle at a minimum.
DC UNITED, 3-0-1, 10
points, 9 gf, 1 ga, (2-0-0 home, 1-0-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
W
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
|
v ATL
|
@ NYC
|
v RSL
|
@ ORL
|
|
2-0
|
0-0
|
5-0
|
2-1
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: I’ve heard their name in the same sentence
as “best in the East,” but I’m a little underwhelmed by the order and
impressiveness of their opposition. I mean, who didn't expect DC to get points out of Orlando, even if just one?
Next Game: v Los Angeles FC, aka, one hell of a easy
opportunity to back up where people rate them.
FC DALLAS, 3-1-1, 10
points, 9 gf, 5 ga, (2-0-1 home, 1-1-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
W
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
|
v NE
|
v LAG
|
@ CLB
|
v COL
|
@ RSL
|
|
1-1
|
2-0
|
0-1
|
2-1
|
4-2
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: Quietly having a good season; heard
crazy-good things about Paxton Pomykal, will see said crazy-good things later
(meaning I’ll review the condensed game).
Next Game: @ Philadelphia Union, and the rest of the league
should sit up and take notice if Dallas takes three points from it.
COLUMBUS CREW SC,
3-1-1, 10 points, 6 gf, 4 ga, (2-0-1 home, 1-1-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
W
|
|
v NYR
|
@ NE
|
v FCD
|
@ PHI
|
v ATL
|
|
1-1
|
2-0
|
1-0
|
0-3
|
2-0
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: Another game in a deluge, aka, it sucked
to be in Ohio for at least one more reason over the weekend (I kid, I kid). Columbus
continues to quietly collect points, and good for them, but it’s worth taking a
peak at the box score; Atlanta showed a little life.
Next Game: v New England Revolution, a game you’ll expect
Columbus to win, even if Brad Friedel hollers at his team again…
HOUSTON DYNAMO,
3-0-1, 10 points, 10 gf, 5 ga, (2-0-1 home, 1-0-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
W
|
|
v RSL
|
v MTL
|
v VAN
|
@ COL
|
|
1-1
|
2-1
|
3-2
|
4-1
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: If there’s a surprise team in 2019, the
Dynamo makes pretty plausible candidate. They got up Colorado’s asses early
from what I hear; I’ll see what I can learn later tonight.
Next Game: A week off, then v San Jose Earthquakes, or just
three points.
PHILADELPHIA UNION,
2-2-1, 7 points, 7 gf, 6 ga, (1-1-0 home, 1-1-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
|
v TFC
|
@ SKC
|
@ ATL
|
v CLB
|
@ CIN
|
|
1-3
|
0-2
|
1-1
|
3-0
|
2-0
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: Have put in the work to rewrite their 2019
season. After watching them two weekends in a row (see my extended notes, even
it’s 85% about FC Cincinnati), my concerns about their defense (or just the way
they defend as a team) have been shown the door.
Next Game: v FC Dallas.
LOS ANGELES GALAXY,
3-1-0, 9 points, 7 gf, 6 ga, (3-0-0 home, 0-1-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
W
|
L
|
W
|
W
|
|
v CHI
|
@ FCD
|
v MIN
|
v POR
|
|
2-1
|
0-2
|
3-2
|
2-1
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: This team has real potential, but it’s
unclear how much they’ll make it come good (and, as noted in my extended comments, they didn’t do so yesterday). Feels like they’re punching under their
weight so far.
Next Game: @ Vancouver Whitecaps, which, with the ‘Caps
still in the process of getting their shit together, counts as good timing
FC CINCINNATI, 2-2-1,
7 points, 7 gf, 7 ga, (1-1-0 home, 1-1-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
L
|
D
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
|
@ SEA
|
@ ATL
|
v POR
|
@ NE
|
v PHI
|
|
1-4
|
1-1
|
3-0
|
2-0
|
0-2
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: It was the manner of the defeat more than
the defeat itself. God’s honest truth, it really fucked up my read on this team
(advantages/disadvantages of close observation).
Next Game: v. Sporting Kansas City, which has real potential
to round into one hell of a “Welcome to MLS” experience. Going the other way,
count how many heads turn if FC Cincy takes all three points.
MONTREAL IMPACT, 2-2-0,
6 points, 7 gf, 11 ga, (0-0-0 home, 2-2-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
W
|
L
|
W
|
L
|
|
@ SJ
|
@ HOU
|
@ ORL
|
@ SKC
|
|
2-1
|
1-2
|
3-1
|
1-7
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: From what I’ve heard, they had a couple
key players absent (e.g., Piatti), but it’ll take ‘em at least a full week to
get SKC’s foot out of their ass. Who knows, maybe they’ll benefit from pouring
all their broken spirit into the in one game?
Next Game: @ New York City FC, a real “mystery meat”
match-up. Will they be the sacrifice that gets NYCFC “back on track” or will
just be the next team to take advantage of their stumbles?
ORLANDO CITY SC, 1-2-2,
5 points, 6 gf, 8 ga, (0-2-1 home, 1-0-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
D
|
L
|
W
|
L
|
|
v NYC
|
@ CHI
|
v MTL
|
@ NYR
|
v DC
|
|
2-2
|
1-1
|
1-3
|
1-0
|
1-2
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: After last season, the fact Orlando has
one toe over the playoff line is nothing to sniff at. All the same, beating the
Red Bulls is their sole support for credibility, but who isn’t beating Red
Bulls right now.
Next Game: v Colorado Rapids…you gotta start somewhere,
right? And, if they don’t get three in this one, when will they?
NEW ENGLAND
REVOLUTION, 1-3-1, 4 points, 5 gf, 9 ga, (1-2-0 home, 0-1-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
W
|
|
@ FCD
|
v CLB
|
@ TFC
|
v CIN
|
v MIN
|
|
1-1
|
0-2
|
2-3
|
0-2
|
2-1
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: Hey, a win!
Accidentally watched the condensed game (forgot TFC kicking NYCFC’s asses, for
one), and they came off well – e.g., Carles Gil looks up to connecting all
those moving parts. Now it’s just getting those pieces going in the same
direction.
Next Game: @ Columbus Crew SC, aka, an unlikely place to
build up momentum…
MINNESOTA UNITED FC,
2-2-0, 6 points, 9 gf, 7 ga, (0-0-0 home, 2-2-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
W
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
|
@ VAN
|
@ SJ
|
@ LA
|
@ NE
|
|
3-2
|
3-0
|
2-3
|
1-2
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: The last two losses, no matter how
scrappy, make those two wins that started the Loons’ season look more
opportunistic than they did back in March...
Next Game: @ New York Red Bulls. What the hell? Serve it up,
and see who gets unfucked sooner. (Now watch them draw…)
CHICAGO FIRE, 1-2-1,
4 points, 5 gf, 7 ga, (1-1-1 home, 0-1-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
W
|
|
@ LA
|
v ORL
|
v SEA
|
v NYR
|
|
1-2
|
1-1
|
2-4
|
1-0
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: One shitty goal was all that kept Chicago
from yet another performance that would have kept open the question of
whether/when they’ll get off the floor. I heard chatter that the Fire played
better, but…
Next Game: @ Toronto FC, does not bode well in any way.
NEW YORK RED BULLS,
1-2-1, 4 points, 5 gf, 4 ga, (1-1-0 home, 0-1-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
|
@ CLB
|
v SJ
|
v ORL
|
@ CHI
|
|
1-1
|
4-1
|
0-1
|
0-1
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: Ls are Ls, and the Red Bulls have racked
up two straight against the weakest teams in MLS. They’re down here the dumps
because they’re playing that way. Why? I got nuthin’. CCL hangover?
Next Game: v Minnesota United FC, when the universe gives
you step-stool to reach higher ground, it’s still down to you to use it. A
must-win if they want to salvage their rep.
REAL SALT LAKE, 1-3-1,
4 points, 5 gf, 12 ga, (1-1-0 home, 0-2-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
W
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
|
@ HOU
|
v VAN
|
@ DC
|
@LAF
|
v FCD
|
|
1-1
|
1-0
|
0-5
|
1-2
|
2-4
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: One of the clearer signals in MLS right
now – at least when it comes to losing where one would expect them to. They
also have as many red cards as they have games.
Next Game: @ Seattle Sounders, where one would be wise to
expect more of the same, maybe even another red card…
NEW YORK CITY FC, 0-1-3,
3 points, 4 gf, 8 ga, (0-0-2 home, 0-1-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
D
|
D
|
L
|
|
@ ORL
|
v DC
|
v LAF
|
@ TFC
|
|
2-2
|
0-0
|
2-2
|
0-4
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: After stumbling out of the gate for three
straight weeks, NYCFC finally went to ground, victims of Toronto’s shiny new
toy (Pozuelo). I’ll be looking at this one.
Next Game: v Montreal Impact, a decent chance to get on
track (“back on track” isn’t anywhere near the table, never mind on it).
COLORADO RAPIDS, 0-3-2,
2 points, 6 gf, 12 ga, (0-1-2 home, 0-2-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
L
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
|
v POR
|
@ SEA
|
v SKC
|
@ FCD
|
v HOU
|
|
3-3
|
0-2
|
1-1
|
1-2
|
1-4
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: They begged the question for a couple
weeks by keeping their failures relatively close, and in fairly tough venues.
Getting their asses handed to them at home by the Dynamo answers the question.
Next Game: @ Orlando City SC. As much as this gives both
Colorado and Orlando to make their case for which of them is the better team, I
can’t see the rest of the league paying much mind to whichever of them comes
out on top. I think it’ll be Orlando, but…so what?
ATLANTA UNITED FC, 0-2-2,
2 points, 2 gf, 6 ga, (0-0-2 home, 0-2-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
L
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
|
@ DC
|
v CIN
|
v PHI
|
@ CLB
|
|
0-2
|
1-1
|
1-1
|
0-2
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: As noted above, some bright spots showed
up in the box score for “Unite & Ignite’s” latest loss, but, in the here
and now, this has to go down as one of the most shocking starts to the next
season for the MLS Cup champs.
Next Game: @ New England Revolution, which ends God knows
how. At least Atlanta has a week to get their shit together.
PORTLAND TIMBERS, 0-3-1,
1 point, 5 gf, 12 ga, (0-0-0 home, 0-3-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
D
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
|
@ COL
|
@ LAF
|
@ CIN
|
@ LAG
|
|
3-3
|
1-4
|
0-3
|
1-2
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: I poured sugar all over this game in my
extended comments on this game. I stand by thhat, even as I appreciate good
signs don’t mean much if you keep driving toward the cliff.
Next Game: @ San Jose Earthquakes, which had better end with
a W for Portland. Big one too.
VANCOUVER WHITECAPS,
0-3-1, 1 point, 4 gf, 7 ga, (0-1-1 home, 0-2-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
D
|
|
v MIN
|
@ RSL
|
@ HOU
|
v SEA
|
|
2-3
|
0-1
|
2-3
|
0-0
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: To continue from last week’s note, waiting
for something to call a positive…
Next Game: v. Los Angeles Galaxy, which feels like a
reasonable chance to continue an upswing.
SAN JOSE EARTHQUAKES,
0-4-0, 0 points, 2 gf, 14 ga, (0-3-0 home, 0-1-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
L
|
|
v MTL
|
v MIN
|
@ NYR
|
v LAF
|
|
1-2
|
0-3
|
1-4
|
0-5
|
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
Current Judgment: Less a team than a standing argument for
promotion/relegation.
Next Game: v Portland Timbers, which better motherfucking
not end well for San Jose…
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