Tuesday, April 30, 2019

MLS Form Guide ULTRA, Week 9: Great Leaps Forward, Pathetic Slouches Back


First, I hope the damn Info-Boxes down below hold together. They seem to be compressing horizontally as I had columns to the table, and I’m stopping at 10 columns in any case. All the same, these posts have to go up first time, or the formatting loses its shit.

Speaking of, that happened to a couple teams this week. As elaborated on elsewhere (Orange & Blue Press post; I’ll link to it here later), a total of 10 teams played two games during MLS Week 9, and the cookie didn’t crumble according to universal rules. To wrap up all 10 teams, I’d call it a great week for the Montreal Impact, good for New York City FC and Minnesota United FC, lucky (by the few accounts I follow) for the Los Angeles Galaxy…fine for DC United, pretty damn jolly for the San Jose Earthquakes, something other than for the Seattle Sounders, more of the same for the New England Revolution, not great for the Chicago Fire, and like a wild kick to the groin to Columbus Crew SC (by which I mean, it hurts like a motherfucker in the moment, but it does go away).

In the interest of just getting this off my chest and out into the world, I’ll have to catch up on the links (I mean, does anyone ever actually hit those things or am I just being anal because…never mind, I’ll keep linking.)

All in all, though, it was a pretty damn predictable week – and I mean the odd wild hair aside (hello, Sporting Kansas City!). To short-hand some teams, beyond what I’ve got below: Chicago’s defense is trending tighter, so “hard to beat” might become part of their resume; Orlando City SC looks like they’ll be a pain in the ass all season; I finally watched Red Bull New York play, and they looked clueless and/or like shit; Toronto FC was shocking in its loss to Portland; I trust the mojo I’m getting out of Minnesota, even if I think they’ve got a bit of Orlando in them, and New York City FC seems like they’ve figured some things out. Oh, and I wouldn’t worry too much about Columbus yet, but this is definitely a time to increase those neighborly check-ins.

All of the above will be tabulated and expanded on down below. Oh, and I finally had to add the Last 10 Games slot for the few teams who have played 10 games. In just a week or two’s time, the Info-Boxes will show only each teams’ last 10 games…

…and I have a really good phrase on that down below. (Screw it, I like it enough to drag it up: When it comes to MLS, I think “you are your last 10 games” comes closer.) On with the show/data!

LOS ANGELES FC, 7-1-2, 23 points, 26 gf, 8 ga, (5-0-0 home, 2-1-2 away)
Last Ten: WWDWWWWLWD
W
W
D
W
W
W
W
L
W
D
v SKC
v POR
@ NYC
v RSL
@ SJ
@ DC
v CIN
@ VAN
v SEA
@ SEA
2-1
4-1
2-2
2-1
5-0
4-0
2-0
0-1
4-1
1-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Seeing it play out (at a 5/90th ratio) and, on evidence of the box score, LAFC simply should have done better against Seattle – especially being up a player as long as they were. On paper, though, who gives a shit, honestly? They’re still the team to beat (sorry, Seattle).
Next Game: v Chicago Fire, a definite “should win,” but watch whether Chicago can keep it close.

SEATTLE SOUNDERS, 5-1-3, 18 points, 18 gf, 12 ga, (4-0-2 home, 1-1-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
W
W
W
D
W
W
L
D
D
v CIN
v COL
@ CHI
@ VAN
v RSL
v TFC
@ LAF
v SJ
v LAF
4-1
2-0
4-2
0-0
1-0
3-2
1-4
2-2
1-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: To keep things simple: that was a full-on freak-out v LAFC, an entire sitcom’s worth of misunderstandings and hurt feelings (e.g., no, Cristian Roldan should not have been sent off for that, how did Christian Ramirez miss this shot, and how did Seattle not score, and, yes, Kelvin Leerdam should have been sent off). There’s no way in hell Seattle is happy with their last three outings, but, because playing a man down explains a lot, I’d be more worried about the San Jose result.
Next Game: @ Minnesota United FC, which feels like more of a crap-shoot than it should. Seattle should be starved by now.

LOS ANGELES GALAXY, 7-1-1, 22 points, 15 gf, 8 ga, (6-0-0 home, 1-1-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
W
L
W
W
W
W
W
D
W
v CHI
@ FCD
v MIN
v POR
@ VAN
v PHI
v HOU
@ MIN
v RSL
2-1
0-2
3-2
2-1
2-0
2-0
2-1
0-0
2-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: What I saw between highlights and box scores supports the current read on the Galaxy – i.e., playing meh, but still piling up points. Minnesota’s Angelo Rodriguez stress-tested the backline, but the eye-catching detail shows up in the numbers RSL put up IN LA (22 shots, 7 on goal). Living on borrowed time?
Next Game: @ New York Red Bulls, which, to announce my gut’s thoughts, will probably end an unbearable goal-less draw. An upset (e.g., New York over LA) isn’t out of the question…in spite of my flamingly low opinion of Red Bull right now.

FC DALLAS, 5-2-2, 17 points, 14 gf, 9 ga, (3-0-2 home, 2-2-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
D
W
L
W
W
L
W
W
D
v NE
v LAG
@ CLB
v COL
@ RSL
@ PHI
v POR
@ ATL
v SJ
1-1
2-0
0-1
2-1
4-2
1-2
2-1
2-1
0-0
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Could have lost, could have won, the only thing confirmed by this result is that San Jose has officially stopped being an easy out. On the detail level, Jesse Gonzalez bailed their asses out with a weird save, and Michael Barrios absolutely should have scored.
Next Game: @ Houston Dynamo, a game I reckon they should lose, and that I want them to lose on principle. Dallas bores me, honestly. (Wearing my bias on my sleeve.)

HOUSTON DYNAMO, 5-1-1, 16 points, 15 gf, 8 ga, (4-0-1 home, 1-1-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
D
W
W
W
W
L
W
v RSL
v MTL
v VAN
@ COL
v SJ
@ LAG
v CLB
1-1
2-1
3-2
4-1
2-1
1-2
2-0
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: They have to feel good about still-perfect home form, and both of those fairly opportunistic goals – Tomas Martinez’s was the pick of the pair - and precisely because they didn’t dominate this game. It’s probably worth noting that Columbus played them pretty goddamn even, if only for Columbus’ sake.
Next Game: v FC Dallas, where I like Houston’s chances, but mostly hope to watch an exciting (condensed) game.

TORONTO FC, 4-2-1, 13 points, 19 gf, 13 ga, (3-1-1 home, 1-1-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
W
W
W
D
L
W
L
@ PHI
v NE
v NYC
v CHI
@ SEA
v MIN
v POR
3-1
3-2
4-0
2-2
2-3
4-3
1-2
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: My extended notes on this game turn bemused when the talk to turns to Toronto, who, about 10 minutes into the game decided to settle into a defensive crouch to see how that worked. It’s possible that having Jozy Altidore would have helped them, but I’d wager that not having Drew Moor mattered…more (can’t pun). For a team of Toronto’s budget and/or ambition, the last four games constitute a bad stretch.
Next Game: @ Orlando City SC, would make me nervous if I were TFC.

PHILADELPHIA UNION, 4-3-2, 14 points, 13 gf, 10 ga, (3-1-0 home, 1-2-2 away)
Last Ten: N/A
L
L
D
W
W
W
L
W
D
v TFC
@ SKC
@ ATL
v CLB
@ CIN
v FCD
@ LAG
v MTL
@ VAN
1-3
0-2
1-1
3-0
2-0
2-1
0-2
3-0
1-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Solid result on the road against an improving Vancouver team (well, slowly). Got a break on the actual goal, but they created a healthy patch of chances (if with a 25% on-goal rate). Kacper Przybylko gets his first (big kid; and I believe it’s pronounced “Sh-Bilko”). They march on.
Next Game: Wednesday, May 1, v FC Cincinnati, and Saturday, May 4, v New England Revolution, which I’d expect Philly to win at a different pace. Four points would be solid, however it happens.

DC UNITED, 5-3-2, 16 points, 13 gf, 10 ga, (2-2-1 home, 3-1-1 away)
Last Ten: WDWWLDWLWL
W
D
W
W
L
D
W
L
W
L
v ATL
@ NYC
v RSL
@ ORL
v LAF
v MTL
@ COL
v NYC
@ CLB
@ MIN
2-0
0-0
5-0
2-1
0-4
0-0
3-2
0-2
1-0
0-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: If you look at the box scores for both games, you’ll see a DC United team that put up chances. And they had good shots in both games – and better than Wayne Rooney’s winner against Columbus (also, Columbus almost did this). Three points through a tough road swing isn’t bad for them, but they might have got lucky in Columbus. And Chris Durkin totally saved the game. Just by following up (so follow up, kids!).
Next Game: v Columbus Crew SC, which they’re really gonna want to win, if only to keep a generally good record from going to seed.

SPORTING KC, 2-2-4, 10 points, 19 gf, 14 ga, (2-0-2 home, 0-2-2 away)
Last Ten: N/A
L
W
D
W
D
D
L
D
@ LAF
v PHI
@ COL
v MTL
@ CIN
v NYR
@ SJ
v NE
1-2
2-0
1-1
7-1
1-1
2-2
1-4
4-4
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Kristzian Nemeth had a damned good game, and your silver lining gets cloudy real fast after that. Injuries have taken the kind of toll not seen since…that one year, when SKC’s injuries freakishly mirrored injuries from the USMNT (just go along with my conspiracy theory). The bigger concern is the three they played (by necessity) at the middle of that 4-3-3: Gianluca Busio, Felipe Gutierrez and Kelyn Rowe); it lacks a little for steel. Like SKC right now.
Next Game: v Atlanta United FC, where injuries will still be what they are. Suffice to say, three plausible points in that one would be massive.

COLUMBUS CREW SC, 4-5-1, 13 points, 8 gf, 11 ga, (3-2-1 home, 1-3-0 away)
Last Ten: DWWLWWLLLL
D
W
W
L
W
W
L
L
L
L
v NYR
@ NE
v FCD
@ PHI
v ATL
v NE
@ MTL
v POR
v DC
@ HOU
1-1
2-0
1-0
0-3
2-0
1-0
0-1
1-3
0-1
0-2
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Last week, I said that two draws wouldn’t be awful. Two losses, meanwhile, are awful, especially when you’ve been a defensively solid defensive team and then you make mistakes like these. On the plus side, they’re running up good numbers when they play, and I heard the following comments during the Columbus v. DC broadcast (also, that’s the more concerning result): “some of the best passing we’ve seen out of Columbus this year,” and “a lot of momentum for Columbus right now.” Not all is lost, basically, just this past week.
Next Game: @ DC United, a fifth loss, should it arrive, ought to be an occasion for soul-searching.

REAL SALT LAKE, 3-5-1, 10 points, 11 gf, 16 ga, (2-1-0 home, 1-4-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
D
W
L
L
L
L
W
W
L
@ HOU
v VAN
@ DC
@LAF
v FCD
@ SEA
v ORL
@ CIN
@LAG
1-1
1-0
0-5
1-2
2-4
0-1
2-1
3-0
1-2
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: If they can keep playing on the road as well as they have over the past two weekends, RSL could actually make some noise this year. Call it a game that looked like it could have gone either way, but that ended up where it did between Nedum Onuoha biting too hard on Zlatan’s dummy (and then Zlatan biting his damn head off for some reason), and Damir Kreilach hitting the post.
Next Game: v Portland Timbers, which has been a tricky trip for RSL for the past couple seasons. Suffice to say, a win would both impress and piss me off immensely.

MINNESOTA UNITED FC, 4-3-2, 14 points, 18 gf, 15 ga, (1-0-2 home, 3-3-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
W
W
L
L
W
D
L
D
W
@ VAN
@ SJ
@ LA
@ NE
@ NYR
v NYC
@ TFC
v LAG
v DC
3-2
3-0
2-3
1-2
2-1
3-3
3-4
0-0
1-0
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Their heretofore sailing attack dried up a bit over the two-game week, but Minnesota still pocketed four points. The highlights from the Galaxy game look better than the box score – Ike Opara doubled Zlatan Ibrahimovic for dangerous headers – but credit Angelo Rodriguez for back-to-back big games.
Next Game: v Seattle Sounders, or a nice occasion for a statement against a team that...I’ll just hint at it.

ORLANDO CITY SC, 3-3-3, 12 points, 13 gf, 14 ga, (2-2-1 home, 1-1-2 away)
Last Ten: N/A
D
D
L
W
L
W
L
W
D
v NYC
@ CHI
v MTL
@ NYR
v DC
v COL
@ RSL
v VAN
@ NYC
2-2
1-1
1-3
1-0
1-2
4-3
1-2
1-0
1-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: In spite of getting what looks a lot like outplayed, the highlights spent more time on them than they did on NYCFC. They played like a road team, they got the point. Orlando looks tricky right now. Simple as that goal was, Nani has come to play.
Next Game: v Toronto FC, which, given the increasingly fragile state of Toronto’s glass jaw could be an opportunity.

MONTREAL IMPACT, 5-3-2, 17 points, 12 gf, 14 ga, (2-0-0 home, 3-3-2 away)
Last Ten: WLWLDDWLWW
W
L
W
L
D
D
W
L
W
W
@ SJ
@ HOU
@ ORL
@ SKC
@ NYC
@ DC
v CLB
@ PHI
@ NE
v CHI
2-1
1-2
3-1
1-7
0-0
0-0
1-0
0-3
3-0
1-0
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: I heard the phrase “Fire on the front foot” immediately after Omar Browne scored his…rather impressive goal (the guy’s a tank, btw), so that’s your sense of what happened at home against Chicago. It took them forever, meanwhile, against New England, but the box score makes it look like a clinic in precision, and good as Ignacio Piatti is for L’Impact, they’ve got some talent coming up. In other news, this was Daniel Lovitz Week.
Next Game: v New York City FC, which feels like a game Montreal wants to win because they should.

CHICAGO FIRE, 2-4-3, 9 points, 12 gf, 13 ga, (2-1-2 home, 0-3-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
L
D
L
W
D
D
W
L
L
@ LA
v ORL
v SEA
v NYR
@ TFC
v VAN
v COL
@ NYC
@ MTL
1-2
1-1
2-4
1-0
2-2
1-1
4-1
0-1
0-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Just suffered a factually terrible week, one where the best thing you can take out of it was their near-scrambled goal at the sixth minute against Montreal. When “what might have been” becomes never, that’s when you start to worry. Speaking of, they handed NYCFC their winner by utterly failing to track runs; something to watch for going forward.
Next Game: @ Los Angeles FC, which probably won’t go well, but I’d be impressed with a low-scoring draw of any kind or nature.

FC CINCINNATI, 2-5-2, 8 points, 8 gf, 14 ga, (1-2-1 home, 1-3-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
L
D
W
W
L
D
L
L
L
@ SEA
@ ATL
v POR
@ NE
v PHI
v SKC
@ LAF
v RSL
@NYR
1-4
1-1
3-0
2-0
0-2
1-1
0-2
0-3
0-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: As noted in my extended notes, it would have been one thing if New York looked good on Saturday – or if they’d looked good all season. The painful reality is that they didn’t and they haven’t – they looked high-school aimless – and Cincinnati. just. couldn’t. get. going. I don’t think Fanendo Adi will be enough at this point, as much as I hope I’m wrong.
Next Game: @ Philadelphia Union, May 1, and @ San Jose Earthquakes, May 4, or what looked less like a gauntlet a couple weeks ago looks like to spikey fucking gauntlets. 2 points would be grand.

NEW YORK CITY FC, 2-1-6, 12 points, 11 gf, 12 ga, (1-0-4 home, 1-1-2 away)
Last Ten: N/A
D
D
D
L
D
D
W
W
D
@ ORL
v DC
v LAF
@ TFC
v MTL
@ MIN
@ DC
v CHI
v ORL
2-2
0-0
2-2
0-4
0-0
3-3
2-0
1-0
1-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: In last week’s post, I declared four points their minimum threshold and, voila, four points. On the plus side, Heber looks entirely real and credible; he’s provided a sharper edge to the attack. Going the other way, they put up low numbers against Chicago (who did as well), and they couldn’t turn paper dominance into the real thing, and gave up some real gut-wrenchers against Orlando. Improving, obviously, but not out of the woods.
Next Game: @ Montreal Impact, which looks taller this week than it did last week. Those four points look pretty damn thin right now,.

NEW ENGLAND REVOLUTION, 2-6-2, 8 points, 10 gf, 19 ga, (2-4-0 home, 0-2-2 away)
Last Ten: DLLLWLLWLD
D
L
L
L
W
L
L
W
L
D
@ FCD
v CLB
@ TFC
v CIN
v MIN
@ CLB
v ATL
v NYR
v MTL
@ SKC
1-1
0-2
2-3
0-2
2-1
0-1
0-2
1-0
0-3-
4-4
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Their sole positive played savior and heel within the space of one game against Montreal, but the deeper reality is that, with a defense that thoroughly shitty, New England can squander every game it plays. Four goals in Kansas City, and you still lose that shit? C’mon?! And it just gets better with Brandon Bye and Jalil Anibaba missing the next match. On the plus side, both Juan Fernando Caicedo and Tajon Buchanan (who got screwed on the PK call) had goo games.
Next Game: @ Philadelphia Union, which, given everything doesn’t feel like a win. One point would absolutely do.

SAN JOSE EARTHQUAKES, 2-5-2, 8 points, 12 gf, 19 ga, (2-3-0 home, 0-2-2 away)
Last Ten: N/A
L
L
L
L
W
L
W
D
D
v MTL
v MIN
@ NYR
v LAF
v POR
@ HOU
v SKC
@ SEA
@ FCD
1-2
0-3
1-4
0-5
3-0
1-2
4-1
2-2
0-0
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Rumors they’ve figured out Matias Almeyda’s system grew louder this week – then again, you know how rumors work, yeah? Based on what little I saw, their luck broke one way against Dallas and another against Seattle – which, seriously, it looks like they could have, maybe even should have won – but, well, just look above: that’s 8 points out of 15, all against Western Conference teams and three of the games on the road. Different team…for now.
Next Game: v FC Cincinnati, which comes at a good time for one team…less of a good time for the other. (The visitors.)

PORTLAND TIMBERS, 2-5-1, 7 points, 11 gf, 19 ga, (0-0-0 home, 2-5-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
D
L
L
L
L
L
W
W
@ COL
@ LAF
@ CIN
@ LAG
@ SJ
@ FCD
@ CLB
@ TFC
3-3
1-4
0-3
1-2
0-3
2-1
3-1
2-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: They’re better than their record at this point – which I think goes a little way to undoing a famous maxim (or at least Matt Doyle’s) that, at a certain point in the season, you are your record. When it comes to MLS, I think “you are your last 10 games” comes closer. As argued in my extended notes on this game, the Timbers have been good in four of their last five games.
Next Game: @ Real Salt Lake, whose late improvement raises the stakes of the match. Either team could use the lift.

NEW YORK RED BULLS, 2-4-2, 8 points, 9 gf, 9 ga, (2-2-0 home, 0-2-2 away)
Last Ten: N/A
D
W
L
L
L
D
L
W
@ CLB
v SJ
v ORL
@ CHI
v MIN
@ SKC
@ NE
v CIN
1-1
4-1
0-1
0-1
1-2
2-2
0-1
1-0
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Having finally seen them in action, I am no longer puzzled as to why they can’t get the ball to Bradley Wright-Phillips. They were so bereft of ideas that most of their attacking passes went to the nearest FC Cincy player. They defended like maniacs, but this is not the Red Bulls team of the last few years, at least not for now.
Next Game: v Los Angeles Galaxy, who come with a great record and a reputation of getting away with their record. I’ll be stunned if New York’s up to it – meaning if they win it.

VANCOUVER WHITECAPS, 1-5-3, 6 points, 7 gf, 12 ga, (1-2-2 home, 0-3-1 away)
Last Ten: N/A
L
L
L
D
L
D
W
L
D
v MIN
@ RSL
@ HOU
v SEA
v LA
@ CHI
v LAF
@ ORL
v PHI
2-3
0-1
2-3
0-0
0-2
1-1
1-0
0-1
1-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Not the result they want, obviously, but there was a fair amount for ‘Caps fans to like in this one: Jordy Reyna has looked great (in glimpses), Doneil Henry is scoring a goal every…fourth game, and the box score speaks well of them. What could have been here, yeah?
Next Game: @ Colorado Rapids, aka, a plausible shot at a little reputation rehabilitation, even if it won’t be easy.

ATLANTA UNITED FC, 2-3-2, 8 points, 6 gf, 8 ga, (1-1-2 home, 1-2-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
L
D
D
L
W
L
W
@ DC
v CIN
v PHI
@ CLB
@ NE
v FCD
v COL
0-2
1-1
1-1
0-2
2-0
1-2
1-0
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: Think what it must be like to be an Atlanta fan in 2019, and pity them. The attacking juggernaut of 2018 is the only team besides a (probably) winded SKC side to fail to score multiple goals against the Rapids. At least three other teams (Chicago, Houston and Orlando (well, maybe not them) managed to run up the score. A, uh, couple steps of championship pace.
Next Game: @ Sporting Kansas City, and God only knows how that turns out. I suspect Atlanta’s defense will get tested more than SKC’s, but who knows?

COLORADO RAPIDS, 0-7-2, 2 points, 12 gf, 24 ga, (0-2-2 home, 0-5-0 away)
Last Ten: N/A
D
L
D
L
L
L
L
L
L
v POR
@ SEA
v SKC
@ FCD
v HOU
@ ORL
v DC
@ CHI
@ ATL
3-3
0-2
1-1
1-2
1-4
3-4
2-3
4-1
0-1
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Current Judgment: If Atlanta wasn’t so…dodgy right now, one could read this as respectable result (see above, about the multi-goal games). As much as anything else, this year’s first Toilet Bowl played to type.
Next Game: v Vancouver Whitecaps, they’ll have Price back (but not Castillo? is that right?), so…why not try to win now? Vancouver basically started over at the start of 2019 (wait…did Colorado…do the same?). If Colorado can’t win this one, basically…

And, holy shit, yes, tapping out. Till next week!

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