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| Kinda looks like it's doing The Charleston... |
Portland isn’t stumbling alone...and am I thankful for that, but I have extended notes on their gut-wrenching loss to Atlanta United FC in a separate post. The upshot, even with the injuries, they shouldn’t look nearly as dire as they do. Atlanta United generally, and Thiago Almada in particular, backed up the rumors by flaying the Timbers defense like a spatch-cocked chicken (that’s not the word? shit!), though it’s worth noting the teams they’ve beat on their way to the second-best record in MLS.
Moving on, I had Atlanta v Portland in a group of games that I called “On the Edge of Now or Never” in my Week 4 preview post. The basic thought was pretty simple: some teams had to get going before the going gets too far ahead of them. Two teams pulled it off – Club de Foot Montreal and Houston Dynamo FC – while Sporting Kansas City, like, the Timbers, did not.
The results by Montreal and Houston count as disruptors in this early season – i.e., scores that feel like snagging your sock in the carpet – but those weren’t the only kind. I framed another set of games around teams who had perfect records after the first two weeks, only to lose in MLS Week 3. They had better or worse shots at proving they still had the proverbial "it," but here’s the thing: only one of those teams – the New England Revolution – backed up their early start. The rest failed (Inter Miami CF and, especially Orlando City SC) or fell short (Seattle Sounders...huh...skipped that one), and what’s that but more disruption?
All in all, call it a week that poured some sugar in the ol’ gas tank. Nothing crazy, but it kept things lively. Seattle v Los Angeles FC aside (why? Pffft...), I touch on every game below – and that brings me to one more thing that churned my butter (a bad thing, fwiw). I was promised (you promised!) access to full-game replays by the Apple TV package and, near as I can tell, the platform left me hanging on a couple games I would really liked to have seen more of. Given that I’m fully subscribed – and to the point where I still haven’t got around to asking them to refund my original payment – I’m not sure what the hell’s going on, I only know I don’t like it. I don’t like it enough that I could very well make a phone call, maybe even ask to speak to a manager...that’s right. I’m Karen-pissed.
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| Traded about as many blows... |
Chicago Fire FC 3-3 FC Cincinnati: Hubris and Depth[Full 90]
When I saw Pat Noonan called Luciano Acosta and Sergio Santos to the field, I didn’t think much of it. Cincy had let the game slip away under Chicago’s press and a succession of poke-tackles and, with just 10 minutes left to play, how much could even those players do?
I see a total of 14 shot for Cincinnati in the box score: my question is, how many of those came after Acosta and Santos came on? My money’s on over half, particularly with the shots on goal. And, like they said in the broadcast, if there was an Assist of the Week (and why the hell isn’t there?) it would go to Acosta for the honey-dripper he lifted over Chicago’s last defender on their right for Cincy’s second goal.
The road team would go on to equalize, of course – and they scrambled Chicago’s Chris Brady (who still looks a bit out of his depth for me), plus Santos dinged one off the crossbar right before he scored – and I can think of no better way to sum up the...let’s call it the vibe around the Fire than how clearly you could hear Cincy players celebrating Junior Moreno’s equalizer. Playing in a cavernous bowl like Soldier Field doesn’t help, but the place got silent to where you could hear pins drop and mice fart.
I haven’t put a ton of time in watching the Fire in 2023 – just Saturday’s game, plus chunks of their loss to the Philadelphia Union – but, to give ‘em a little tap on the butt, they looked decent right up until the fall. I didn’t know they pressed, but they did it capably, and a couple parts stood out – e.g., Jonathan Dean, a left back they called up from the lower divisions, looked solid when he replaced a foul-happy Miguel Navarro, Kacper Przybylko scored a Goal of the Week candidate (this was a fun game), and they had fresh-faced 19-year-old Brian Gutierrez running the show in the middle. After that, it’ll be interesting to see how Carlos Teran settles (short version, he showed up when needed, but fouled a little too heavily on arrival) and the defensive midfield (Gaston Gimenez and Mauricio Pineda) looked great until it very abruptly got rolled over by Cincinnati’s revived attack, Chris Mueller looked like he used to for Orlando (and he scored a good ‘un) and the early returns on Maren Haile-Selassie looked reasonable...but a defensive collapse is what it is and that’s exactly what it was.
Looping back to the title of this section, Cincinnati could be excused for feeling like they’d rolled onto easy street over the game’s first 20 minutes. Chicago had plenty of the ball, but couldn’t do much with it and Cincy flowed into the counter in a way that made the field behind them look like a chasm; when Cincinnati went up early 1-0 on one of the three(!) times Moreno kicked the ball into the net, the game looked over. And yet Chicago slowly clawed their way back in, mostly by crimping the counter before it could get flowing (a la, enlarged prostates in older men). Now, I don’t think Roman Celentano could have done much about Przybylko’s opener (see GotW), but Yerson Mosquera decided to put on a live, one-man demonstration on why you don’t let the opposition hang around, first by giving away a (frankly) fucking dumb penalty kick, and then losing Mueller on Chicago’s second goal.
Put it all together, and you wind up on something like Cincinnati losing, but for its depth. Mosquera has been good enough to keep me from sweating him, but I’m still hoping he and all take this as a wake-up call for the season ahead.
Right, that’s it for the Ed McMahon of my affections. Here are the rest of the results, organized in order of importance. When I have “[Glance]” in brackets after the score, that means I only ran the highlights past the box score. If I watched a game longer than that, I note how much I watched and when – again in brackets – for those games. For the record, I always watch big outtakes of the games that feature the upcoming opponents for Portland and Cincy, and I’ll try to squeeze in at least two more. When I can. This week was a fucking mess. Anyway, moving on....
Orlando City SC 1-2 Charlotte FC[Glance]
Charlotte sat several regulars from the attack – e.g., Karol Swiderski, Kamil Jozwiak and Andre Shinyashiki – and...it paid off? Yes, Charlotte won, but Orlando’s should definitely be kicking their own asses on the first (damn fine ball by Jaylin Lindsey, fwiw) and Kerwin Vargas (who I like just fine) got an assist from a warp off either a toe or an ankle. Harrison Afful pinged one off the post a little later, so I guess that pays for the good fortune. Orlando hurt themselves more than once – e.g., they had what looked like an opening goal called thanks to all three (3!) attacking players running offside on the same play. In the plus column, Martin Ojeda cleaned up a move forced by Duncan Maguire for Orlando’s lone goal (that, again, featured a stumbling Bill Tuiloma) and he showed well in the highlights, and – hey! – l’il victories, Orlando fired more than 10 shots total for the first time this season. All that stings a little more knowing that Orlando probably looked at this game on their schedule and banked it as a must-win.
Houston Dynamo FC 2-0 Austin FC[2nd Half]
What’s the angle on this one? Call it a mix of seeing Houston do some half-good things against FC Cincinnati way back in Week 1 and also wondering how a still-struggling Austin managed to lose this one. Something else that bears noting: this was Houston’s first home game, so the occasion was there.
While neither team covered themselves in glory – the broadcast booth noted both struggled in the final third – the Dynamo’s difference-makers made a difference. Hector Herrera led the charge, not just with buying Houston a little insurance with the second goal, but by keeping the ball going in the attacking third over and over, something he did by way of general buzzing around and staying onside. Still, he might not have scored had Emiliano Rigoni not (literally) watched him run free up the middle of the area, but there’s a good chance Austin didn’t have much for legs left by the 86th minute.
Going the other way, maybe it’s something simple as Austin coming out flat both physically and mentally? I circled back to the recap to make sure I didn’t miss something amazing during the first half and...nah. The Verde had a decent chance or three, Dynamo defenders stayed organized enough on their best shots and kept the angles awkward. As noted in last week’s round-up, Austin benefitted from some ghastly defending by Real Salt Lake and scored on shots the same players would miss nine times out of ten. Overall, call it a good result for Houston, even if you still have to wonder if they’ll go anywhere, and another shaky one for an Austin team that has so far failed to keep up with a 2022 season that, by consensus, saw them playing well over their heads.
St. Louis CITY FC 3-0 San Jose Earthquakes[Glance]
San Jose strained, and not so mightily, to survive yet another St. Louis onslaught – a style personified in Joao Klauss’ freight-train of a goal at the end of the first half. On San Jose’s side, the highlights didn’t give me more than a couple decent chances for Cade Cowell (only one made Roman Burki work), but the numbers speak better of them than the highlights. Still, it’s getting hard to look past the impression that St. Louis’ pressure unhinges teams – i.e., yet another defender almost provided a St. Louis player with a clean assist – and that pencils out given the way their attack looks like a fast-zombie wave. Klauss looked impressive for the fourth straight game, the supporting cast looks good, and the formula’s working. So far. I know it’ll come undone, just...how?
New England Revolution 1-0 Nashville SC[2nd half]
First, ever notice how damn handsome Brandon Bye is? My gods...
I went for the entire second half for a couple reasons - specifically, that’s when the Revs scored and I wanted to see how/if Nashville bounced back – but it’s possible I tuned in to the wrong half. Hany Mukhtar made a couple hopeful shots look worth taking in the first half, while Walker Zimmerman one-upped him by rattling the crossbar with a clean header, and that was the best stuff I saw out of Nashville. I can’t say what happened in New England’s locker room at the half, but they straight-up rolled from the 45th to the 60th and scored the game’s lone goal – and, significantly, the first Nashville as allowed in 2023 – at the 52nd minute through a near-post smash by Gustavo Bou. Better still, at least from the Revs’ perspective, they barely let up to the final whistle. Nashville responded with sloppy pressure – i.e., they just kind of kept running at New England and forcing corners – and they looked best on set pieces. Having Zimmerman out there always means having a chance on set-pieces, but you could see that sub-60% passing in the attacking third for Nashville, who never really looked much like coming back.
When New England rolled, they got a lot from the wide areas, with DeJuan Jones and (lordy me) Bye raining chaos from the wings. Bou and new signing Bobby Wood got in one another’s way almost as often as they found chances, so their two-forward set needs more work, but you’d think that may go away when Carles Gil comes back. Based on the sum of information on hand – not incidentally the lopsided balance of the duels/tackles stat, which 66/13 to 39/3 in the Revs’ favor – it looks like New England ratcheted-up the intensity and bullied their way to the win – aka, just what they needed after LAFC tarred ‘em on Matchday 3. I don’t think either team has a ton to worry about, at least not beyond being less good than LAFC, but Nashville’s home/road record does bear noting – i.e., they’re perfect on the former with a +4 goal differential and 0-1-1 in the latter.
Red Bull New York 2-1 Columbus Crew SC[Glance]
This was one of two games I’d hoped to see more of, only to have the AppleTV package screw me for reasons I’m not entirely clear on. (Swear to God, I’ll sick Bethany Mandel on you bastards!). To work with what I got, the numbers indicate classic energy-drink soccer – i.e., the Red Bulls barely held the ball, but still somehow tripled Columbus on shots. I was halfway through the highlights before deciding that what MLS fans really need is a Red Bull v St. Louis showdown in some muddy, abandoned Midwestern field. Sadly, it looks like we’ll have to wait till 2024 for that. The player who most stood out in the highlights was RBNY’s Cory Burke; he carried and fired the shot that Luquinhas cleaned up for New Jersey’s opener and I think he forced the turnover that went to Cristian Casseres Jr. lobbed to John Tolkin who crossed to Dante Vanzeir for the game-winner. The finish was more elegant than the cross, but ain’t that Red Bull? The result keeps both teams on the wrong side of things, but with the Red Bulls closer to the good. One thing to watch: the Red Bulls have played a stubborn schedule so far - @ ORL, v NSH, @ MIN – so I’d look for them, and Columbus for that matter, to punch a little higher in different times/places.
Colorado Rapids 1-2 Minnesota United FC[Glance]
I’m typing these without knowing the final order, but, call this another result where the losing team didn’t look helpless (the other is, or was, Miami). They went up on a Cole Bassett solo project, only to give up a stupid handball that lead to the equalizer and then lose the game entirely on a fairly slick (planned?) set piece that has Franco Fragapane run back toward the free-kick for a skimming deflection. Clever. I saw real chances from Colorado – e.g., a flurry off a set piece in the late 60s – and Michael Barrios did some useful things, but he also pissed away one of the cleanest looks blah, blah, blah. If memory serves, Minnesota got a couple wins out of an Emanuel Reynoso-free line-up in 2022 that looked a lot like this one – and I think they can keep getting points out of it. With seven points from three games – none of them easy – Minnesota looks fine so far. As for Colorado, it turns out going from 2021 to 2023 and from money-ball to just cheap takes somewhere around 20 losses...
FC Dallas 2-1 Sporting Kansas City[Glance]
Dallas ‘keeper Martin Paes starred in this one by saving back-to-back penalty kicks – the first by...Willy Agada(?), the second by Erik Thommy – and SKC only got the second penalty on one of those ticky-tack bullshit calls that drive me crazy. Anyhoo, this one looked close all over, Daniel Salloi made the most of a loose ball (and after one hell of a tackle by Dallas’ Nkosi Tafari) with a one-time shot that looped over Paes – thus was scored SKC’s first goal of 2023. By most of what I looked at, the result boiled down to Dallas scoring one more goal, i.e., a tale as old as time, Lady and the Tramp. Credit to Dallas, Sebastian Lletget flustered SKC’s D with a slick little back pass that Alan Velasco looped through a seam – a play started with a slice to Lletget by Jesus Ferreira, and it was Ferreira’s late-run and follow-up on his own kick that won the game late for Dallas. Another case of a competitive team getting the kind of result they should, BUT, I’d still keep an eye on SKC. Even if they never get past a vague gesture toward the post-season, I see the outline of pain-in-the-assery in them.
Club de Foot Montreal 3-2 Philadelphia Union[Glance]
Hernan Losada’s Montreal – and I’ll be phrasing it like that for a while – caught a couple breaks in this game in the form of a stupid handball by Philly’s Jakob Glesnes handball and Julian Carranza getting sent out at the 69th (tee hee hee) minute for an absolutely idiotic lunge. Credit to them, however, for outright bullying home the win. What started with Chinoso Offor barging past Glesnes ended with Romell Quioto throwing Philly’s Olivier Mbaizo to the ground like a rag-doll to get his clear look at goal for Montreal’s late, late winner. Montreal’s fight served them well, if nothing else, but they also haven’t done well on the road – this was their first home game of 2023, not to mention the first time they scored a goal – and they’ve got a couple tricky ones coming up (@ VAN, @ NE). Philly being Philly, no one’s gonna worry. It’s not like they’re miles behind – just four points behind Atlanta – but they are winless on the road and, to perhaps ask more of them than I should, they’re falling short of inflated expectations.
New York City SC 3-2 DC United[Glance]
Based on what I saw, NYC leveraged their talent with a combination of desire and raw energy – see their third goal, in particular – to keep one goal ahead of a DC team that has gone down three times already in 2023, but never without a fight. Anyone looking for a visual on that should dip into the highlights and look up Steve Birnbaum’s resounding last whimper of a goal. If DC can convert that fight into a win or three, I see no reason to count them out. Going the other way, they won’t get that far unless DC’s Tyler Miller does better with his angles, because NYC’s second goal was a gift. Meanwhile, that’s two on the trot for NYC, even if they haven’t won one on the road yet, or against a strong team. Seriously, here’s their last three: @ CHI, v MIA, v DC. So, yeah, put a pin in this one.
Toronto FC 2-0 Inter Miami CF[Glance]
I have no idea how Miami looked without Gregore - takes extended viewing, etc. - but Miami didn’t look wholly helpless, (apparent) new starters, Harvey Neville, pelted some beautiful leading passes up the right, I think Josef Martinez went the full 90, and so on. Toronto did cut through the middle for their go-ahead goal – and it was pretty damn clean – and they padded it with a....let’s call it creative header by Mark-Anthony Kaye. Toronto played a generally efficient game – i.e., they put half their shots on goal – but, most importantly, they won the kind of game they should. Still don’t see either team rising higher than what I expect to be a bloated middle.
Los Angeles Galaxy 1-1 Vancouver Whitecaps[1-15; 40-45+; 75-90]
Oh, how grudgingly I watched. If my reeling Timbers didn’t have the Galaxy next...which, in all seriousness, could be Portland’s best chance at a win through the first 10 games of the season..., so why not start with the bad news?
They didn’t look consistently elegant doing it, but the Galaxy created the chances to win the game, for me, goddamn soul-sucking, semi-useless VAR failed to give them the winner Dejan Joveljic scored. Again, VAR makes too many mistakes to justify killing that much joy. At any rate, I saw some decent moves by LA – and it’s worth noting how many came through Raheem Edwards (a winger by any other name) – but they don’t project as scary and, when you get right down to it, they still fell flat in their home opener and they still have yet to win a game. At least Vancouver has their CCL win for solace...
Based on the xG graph, Vancouver looked to have their best moments between the 60th and 70th minutes and I would have looked at it if this wasn’t about scouting the Galaxy. For what it’s worth, the ‘Caps looked better when they got on the ball, cleaner with good patterns, etc., even if the Galaxy out-shot them by a fair amount. That said, they got more than a little lucky on their goal – Efrain Alvarez just plain lost Tristan Blackmon, handing him a free, if inelegant corner. Moreover, and despite spilling the soft cross that gave the Galaxy its equalizer, Vancouver’s ‘keeper Yohei Takaoka made a couple big saves, while Julian Gressel was there to clean up another one he missed. That’s another argument in LA’s favor, but this still presents as two weaker teams tussling below the playoff line. Ignore till further notice, basically, or until they come to play your local team.
Right. That’s it. It’s late and I’m fucking exhausted. Till the preview....
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