Portland Timbers 1-1 Seattle Sounders: It Was the [BLANK] of Times

I think cuffs and collars matched. You?

Just to note it, these posts should get shorter the deeper we go into Major League Soccer’s 2025 regular season. Barring new signings in the summer, at some point in any season, the teams have what they have when it comes to the competence of their coach and the quality of their players, strong suits and weak links will be well-known in their equal parts.

Have the Portland Timbers reached that point at…hold on…14 games into the season? Here and there, maybe, but not overall? Nah. Let’s get to it…

About the Game
I didn’t clock how few shots the Timbers fired in Saturday’s 1-1 draw versus the Seattle Sounders until checking the final stats (still catching up, still not wholly connected to the game-day experience). Not what one wants to see in terms of offensive output, obviously, but it didn’t translate into the vague chatter I’d caught here and there about Portland being lucky to escape a loss. The Sounders found their chances – particularly from the low-to-mid 30s when the long ball to Danny Musovski and Roy…er, Ryan Kent was very much on (hold this thought) – but the final score didn’t look like they borrowed it from another game or anything, cuffs and collars matched, etc. Still, seeing just five shots total and knowing at least one of those counted as more hopeful than likely (e.g., Santiago Moreno’s at the 22nd) sets a fan to fretting about the latest drop-off on the attacking side (unless my math’s mistaken, the Timbers have been good for ¾ goal/game since the beginning of May). Per the tone of all the above, Seattle hardly piled on the chances, but I’ve already gotten ahead of myself.

Seeing Kamal Miller in a foot race with, oh, 65% of the league generally spells trouble and seeing Musovski win the decisive one felt inevitable. To his credit, Miller stalled a full breakout and Finn Surman did well to put himself between Albert Rusnak and Maxime Crepeau’s goal…only to tragically leave the five-hole open for Rusnak to shoot through. Seeing a similar play almost come off for a second Seattle goal got a couple dings out of the alarm bell, but Crepeau had a better angle to block Musovski’s shot and got down righteously to cover it. Portland hadn’t been helpless to that point - Juan David Mosquera’s solo/run shot at the 9th minute announced…a presence - but it took most of the half for them to build an attack that misdirected the Sounders defense. Maybe the surprise came from David Da Costa switching to the right, maybe it came from getting the ball behind Seattle’s midfield in one pass; whatever happened, the Sounders defense lost track of Da Costa and Moreno in rapid succession and paid the price with an easy equalizer that, despite credible efforts here and there, they never got around to erasing.

Seattle Sounders Scouting Report: In Which I Channel D.A.R.E.

D.A.R.E., still 1,000% on brand.

Yeah, yeah, up goes another post. What can I say? I get nostalgic about every regular season one or two games before it ends…

…and then I forgot every last thing about it one day after MLS Cup. I am a simple man overwhelmed by the passing of the seasons. Enough about me. Preview time.

Does it get better than two teams playing their nemesis (both on and off the field) with all kinds of things on the line? This Saturday (aturday, aturday, aturday) won’t just establish who leads and whom follows in the post-season dance, it will decide which team takes home the Cascadia Cup (still wide-open) among? the Seattle Sounders, the Vancouver Whitecaps and…your…Portland Tim-BERS! [CROWD GOING WILD! REGGAETON HORNS!!] If I’m tracking the information posted on Sounder at Heart right, fun fact, Vancouver actually has the weakest grip on the Cascadia trophy.

The math is simple for the Timbers: if Portland wins and Vancouver loses or draws at Real Salt Lake, the Timbers host the play-in game versus Vancouver and lift the Cascadia Cup to the heavens! [SOUND OF CROWD GOING WILD, REGGAETON HORNS!!] The math gets a little more complicated around Seattle, but that has more to do with the mad scramble/crash-up derby among the teams that currently sit between 5th and 7th in the West. I pulled Vancouver out of that grouping because they can’t finish any higher than 7th, but, unless my math is wrong (as always, check it) Houston Dynamo FC, the Colorado Rapids, and Minnesota United FC can finish in any order – that’s up to and including Minnesota falling to 8th place (which would happen if and only if Vancouver beats RSL and they lose at home versus St. Louis CITY FC). Bottom line, Seattle will sit in third or fourth by the end of the night regardless and,

Even if I just wrote The Great Gatsby of playoff maths, all the above counts as a massive digression from the task at hand – i.e., tallying the things to worry about against the Sounders this Saturday and/or finding the best path to prolonging the Agony of Brian Schmetzer. Let’s turn to that now…

Seattle Sounders, The Basics
Record/Top Stats: 3rd in West, 5th overall; 16-9-8, 56 pts., 50 gf, 34 ga (+16); home record: 8-2-6
Last 10 Results: WLWLWWTWWW
Home or Away: HHAAAHHHAA

Western Conference Final Preview: Notes on Lunch Ladies and Intensity

Best served with a "you're stuck here" hostility.

I’m poking around the Internet tonight in a vain attempt to find something more compelling to say about tomorrow’s Western Conference Final than, they will or they won’t. That’s to say, I don’t think there’s anything anyone involved with either the Portland Timbers or Real Salt Lake can do besides lay down the marks and hope their players hit them.

You see things - e.g., Albert Rusnak coming back for RSL; Sebastian Blanco might be back for the Timbers (but…how much of him?), how so much depends on Yimmi Chara (and a red wheel/barrow/glazed with rain; and I agree, if for a different reason), Portland’s considerable dominance over the 2021 season (3 wins, 12 goals to RSL’s four), etc. - but that’s all graffiti on the random-number-generator hype-machine that is The Mothership, more branding than information. And it tells the same story to boot - i.e., they will or they won’t.

Stumptown Footy put in more effort than spitting out a couple hot-takes [Ed. - I’m not likely to give much more, so…] - e.g., they flagged the suspension of Everton Ruiz - but they also took the correct path of chucking regular season results out the window, because I don’t see RSL playing with the same drunk-puppy abandon they did in that 6-1 drubbing back in late September. They also shared a thought I had;  here, the parenthetical is key:

“Whether it is by absorbing and countering, or by dictating the play themselves (I could honestly see it going either way), Portland’s attackers will have to be ready to offset and unbalance RSL’s defense.”

In my mind, the most meaningful will-they/won’t-they Timbers fans will see tomorrow comes with the approach Portland takes to the game. Do they come out aggressive and try to crush RSL’s spirit? Do they focus first on keeping their shit together (as they did against Colorado) to tempt RSL into the drunken puppy thing? If so, how long do they keep it up? And, since I’m writing all this out, what do I think they should do? [Ed. - Does not fucking matter; I’ve moved to thinking about spectator sports the same way I felt about school lunches: Gio et. al. will serve up something and it’ll be good or bad depending on the day. Also, slot machines offer a uniquely valid, if baffling, metaphor.]

Portland Timbers 4-4 Real Salt Lake, And Other Things That Don't Make Sense...

Dream bigger, MLS.

Not to rehash an evil evening, but I was very much split-screening the Portland Timbers, frankly, bizarre 4-4 draw at “home” against Real Salt Lake. Suffice to say, it was a strange and messy night over the West Hills last night. The Portland Police keep letting in these weird right-wing goon mobs, knowing it riles up the locals…also, it feels really goddamn deliberate. And bound to lead to violence. These are the times. Anyway, I watched more of that when I wanted and missed out on the fugue state I try to achieve when watching sports. Getting there takes some doing….

Maybe Timbers players had the pick-up-n-flags parade in their heads as they warmed up. RSL players had a whale-sized distraction of their own, what with the “Dell Roy Hansen said what?” meltdown. I don’t know if any of that mattered, but both teams played this double-whiplash draw with a certain, who-knows-how-long-we’ll-play abandon. Things feel oddly contingent lately.

While I wouldn’t call the game fun, a lot of things happened. It was busy. It was open. It was a rare night when everyone seemed constantly surprised by everything, when eyeing the next opportunity was more important than marking, and so on. It felt soft, basically, like an all-star game. Or, again, maybe everybody’s a bit distracted lately.

Overall, I’m trying to find a way to explain how a team that played stout defense during its MLS Is Back “Cup run” has allowed an average of 3.5 goals against over its last two games. And don’t gimme that shit about sample size.

The Seattle loss followed a well-worn pattern (their stone wall defense and sufficient attack, which struck again) and didn’t disturb me as a result. But, seeing the Timbers cough up four goals in the very next game and, no offense, to Real Salt Lake? Mudville has been better. To the Timbers’ credit, they played to their strength and got production from just about everyone you’d want them to in the attack, whether old standards like Sebastian Blanco or (and please) some succession and/or bridge players in Jaroslaw Niezgoda and Felipe Mora. Portland counter-punched both smartly and timely to make the game 4-2 in the…Jesus Christ, 85th minute(?), and that gets to the question that’s on the mind of anyone who still cares about Timbers soccer right now: how the HELL did Portland give up two goals during second half stoppage?

Real Salt Lake 2-1 Portland Timbers: A Mirror to 2019

On seeing what I didn't want to see.

I don’t how many of you shifted in his/her seats in anticipation of extra time Saturday night, but I know I did. Sure, Real Salt Lake had absorbed the kitchen sink the Portland Timbers threw their way, but they didn’t show any meaningful signs of breaking through either. The play that won the game – i.e., RSL isolating Joao Plata on their left – had been tried before, and with just as many Timbers defenders buzzing around to cut off options. In the telling moment, however, Plata poked the ball across the top of Portland’s 18, Albert Rusnak had the wit ‘n’ savvy to leave the ball for Jefferson Savarino, and those split-second decisions put the sword to not just one of Portland's better recent spells, but also to the Timbers’ 2019 season.

That’s how it ended – 2-1 in RSL’s favor. With that, their season continues, while Portland starts facing the tough questions they could only push off for as long as they had games left to play. 2019 wound up as a…fairly fucked up year. Even if Timbers fans can't agree on what exactly went wrong, I think most people would agree that, Jesus preserve us, what a fucking mess. I’ll review the entire season later this week (Saturday?), and I’ll close this post with some questions that I hope in that review. To preview that, the second half of the 2019 season posed all kinds of questions to the future of the Portland Timbers team and/or franchise. I’ll do some reading and/or reminiscing and try to come up with something useful, all without promising that I can, but, I want to continue this wrap up of their final game with a question:

How the hell does a team of professional athletes forget how to do their collective jobs for 45 whole goddamn minutes?

I credited a couple Portland players for robustly stand-out starts – e.g., Cristhian Paredes and Bill Tuiloma both made a pair of stellar solo defensive plays each during the first half – but no one in the Timbers starting eleven looked prepared to do anything but disrupt and tackle over the opening 45 minutes. If any Timber found the proverbial friend during that first half, I either missed it or it didn’t matter. That failure lead to an avalanche of pressure falling on the Timbers defense (a decent example), and they handled all they could until Deimar Kreilach ghosted behind Larrys Mabiala’s shoulder and ahead of a ball-watching Bill Tuiloma to tap a free header past Portland’s ‘keeper, Steve Clark, who, to fill in all the blanks, played an aggressive (and intriguing) sweeper-‘keeper role, and to the point of stranding himself once or twice. RSL didn’t actually give him a ton to manage – too many of their shots dropped right into the ol’ breadbasket – but they had him dead to rights on both goals, and only the first one hurt real, real bad, even if they all count the same, and so on.

FC Cincinnati 0-3 Real Salt Lake: A Night When Plan A Failed

No, FC Cincy, the voices are not friendly. Do not listen.

Well, that didn’t go well, obviously. Anyone who doubted the game was over after Real Salt Lake’s Albert Rusnak buried his 59th minute penalty (deserved; also, Jefferson Savarino is one of their guys), and his second goal of the game, should have disabused of any notions of a comeback by FC Cincinnati at the 65th minute when Alvas Powell picked up the ball and a head of steam and he carried it up the field…with somewhere between seven and eight Cincinnati players on the wrong side of the ball, i.e., behind him. Powell had to turn back inside Cincinnati’s defensive third to wait for everyone else to show up and, no, that’s not a good sign.

The rest of the game stretched out in a slow, frog-in-a-boiling-pot experience that ended the same way it started: Real Salt Lake three (3), FC Cincinnati zero (0). Then again, the whole thing projected as a depressing illusion because, even in their moments of dominance – at the start of each half, generally - Cincinnati created more corners than chances…which is factually untrue, but just barely, and also barely relevant. The one decent shot I remember FC Cincy getting – e.g., Allan Cruz’s header off Roland Lamah’s cross during the early, salad days – couldn’t have been their one (recorded, and seriously?) shot on goal, not least because it wasn’t on goal. Ah, hold on. Just remembered where the shot probably happened.

The match had a couple of turning points, but none as decisive as RSL’s second goal. Whether by accident or conscious decision (only The Shadow knows what goes on in the hearts of men), Cincinnati seemed over-eager to push for an equalizing goal after letting Salt Lake catch them off guard and against the run of play to score the game’s opening, game-winning goal. There was nothing irrational about giving it a shot, not with Cincy generally deciding what happened and where for most of the first half. It did, on the other hand, result in the home team getting caught too far upfield, with pants around ankles. The goal was all but scored when Savarino found Damir Kreilach just on RSL’s side of the midfield stripe, who would go on to complete the dissection from there. Kreilach played the ball to Baird on Cincinnati’s right and, in all the backward scrambling, Cincinnati’s three, final defenders pinched too hard to one side, leaving Rusnak free to set up the ensuing, fatal shooting gallery. It took RSL putting half their seven shots on target in a two-second span to score that second goal – a depressing spectacle, really – but that probably put three points beyond reach.

To pick up on what came back to me at the end of the penultimate paragraph, Cincinnati came as close to scoring as they managed all game (again. one. shot.) at the beginning of the second half, when one of their corners got highly interesting. That cracks open the door to what might have been, but only wide enough to where all you can see on the other side is darkness. Overall, though, Cincinnati could hold the ball and move it around, but they couldn’t take it anywhere worthwhile. RSL, meanwhile, took over the second half of each half (my work with legal descriptions comes through…), and found more ways to be lethal when they had the ball.

Portland Timbers 3-3 Real Salt Lake: Technology and Actually Promising Things

The fouls can see him too! Trippy!!

I’m going to start this with the elephant-sized talking point that squatted all over that game. Yeah, Video Assiste…fuck it, VAR. The specific acronym doesn’t matter, but I'm talking about that video review thing that just happened, that we all endured.

It’s not what happened on the field that bugs me. On a different day with a different angle Soren Stoika (right?) would have called that red card first time, and things would have ensued as they did – at least provided that Joao Plata’s foot kissed the ball in just the same way. Today, though, Stoika missed it and…I dunno. So, what I guess? Was getting justice really that much more satisfying than a blown call? Yura Movsisyan kept playing so Diego Chara’s contact with…whatever couldn’t have been that savage. Still, Chara does lead with the elbow a lot, and that’s a risk.

Bottom line, though, I think I’d confine VAR to goal-line tech. I’m fine with using the Discipline Committee to mete out justice after. And I’d consider putting a little more length on their levers. Think something between the House UnAmerican Activities Committee and the Spanish Inquisition. The broadcast team spoke like party-line puppets (guys…hyperbole), calling the stilted moment of video decision, “drama-filled and impactful” (which running dog swine uttered those words?!), and I think that’s what made me angry tweet. Then again, every day is a trigger…

OK, the game, the game, the game. The Portland Timbers tied Real Salt Lake into a big bow of 3’s and called it Thursday. I’m going to dig into a couple particular fascinations, maybe try to inflate them into something bigger. They were both goals and Portland scored both, but one of them said something very specific about RSL. So’s I can end big with the Timbers, I’ll start with the one that gets at RSL.

The Timbers first goal contained some good elements. Alvas Powell put in a good cross, Mattocks wrestled through some traffic to get off his shot, and Diego Valeri found that clear shot on goal as reward for following the righteous path of continuing the play, wherever it leads you. Or, to re-write the script, great cross by Powell, and, of course, Darlington Nagbe didn’t shoot, and Darren Mattocks followed that up by scuffing the shot, as is his habit, and thank god for Diego Valeri.

Late Tackle 01 19 2017: Questions for the Timbers, Chicago's Rebuild, and 10 Other Things (or Players) Who Excite Me

Dream big, Fire fans...could be your bandwagon...

In keeping with this site’s practice of starting local…

The Oregonian posted one of their damn slideshows (sorry, hate the things, because they feel more about the ads; yes, I’m aware of the state of the news industry) that framed the issues facing the Portland Timbers in the form of 11 questions, some more pointed than others. To quibble with the premise a little, I’d argue that, if you can come up with 11 questions – if you get that granular – you probably have 20+ questions. To hit that from the other side, with the way personnel overlaps and cross-pollinates, I think the Timbers have between three and five questions to answer in 2017.

I’ll come up with those later (tomorrow, maybe; or Monday), but, for now, the best question of The Oregonian's 11 was the last (paraphrasing): are the Timbers good enough to make the 2017 playoffs?

And they flagged the one major detail that slips my mind every time I think about the Portland Timbers: how large-scale erratic they’ve been. Or that’s just another way of admitting that the flukiness of the 2015 Run to Glory still somehow doesn’t sit right with me. At any rate, that whole “erratic” theme is something head coach Caleb Porter has to answer for.

Moving on to other pastures…

The Late, Late Tackle 01 09 2017: Melano, Maloney, and Rebuilds

Never been asked before, but, is this metaphor to harsh?

After weighing my personal comfort level with the thought of losing my job and my increasingly-impending mortality, I’ve decided that I can’t post at work anymore. Yes, this means I’ll always be behind. That means I better make this interesting, goddamn it.

Speaking of, or the opposite, these brief highlight reels from the MLS Combine (ongoing, check your local listings: Chaos v. Control and Copa v. Tango) don’t really give you much sense of how any given player is doing (fine, admittedly, they’re not awful). Personally, my default in this, not to mention when watching the college game is, “he’ll never get away with that in MLS.” And, by and large, that holds.

This will fill in some blanks, but, even then, nothing matters till you suit up and perform, week after grueling (often pointless) week in Major League Soccer (unless you’re chasing the Supporters’ Shield; otherwise, why care till the end o’ June? (Yes, I’ll bury this thought in the background soon…rule of 3, rule of 3, rule of 3)). And, I guess that’s the point of all the roster rebuilds going on right now, so let’s get back the recap of things I can barely understand, but that I understand a little better than The Combine. Starting local, as I always will, when I can.

Melano-Vederci

One time future bright spot Lucas Melano got shipped (OK, loaned) out of Portland and back to his original (right?) Argentine club today. To the credit of the Timbers front office – and I mean this – they made an arrangement I hadn’t thought of: they loaned him back to Atletico Belgrano, so that they still might have an asset to move if Melano improves down there. Because he sure wasn’t doing it up here…