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| Yes, and that sunset. |
Despite its loin-stirring grandiosity, I have no grand analysis to share about the Portland Timbers 4-4 road brawl early today at Minnesota United FC. I mean, what’s there to say about a demolition derby besides “a bunch of shit ran into another bunch of shit”? And yet I, like nature, find a way...
To answer the obvious question – i.e., did I lose faith? – of course I did. What other response can one have to seeing your team’s defense take two wet shits on an already-soiled mattress? Apologies for the crudeness of the metaphor – and I hope the sub-text that Minnesota’s first goal didn’t bother me nearly as much as the other two – but I started the outline of another yes-I-am-nervous post immediately after the halftime whistle blew. Also, as evidenced by a tweet floated into public domain early in the second half (see my game thread), I didn’t feel much better until Sebastian Blanco scored his second goal of the match – from open play too – which brings me to the only real take-away I have from this game.
Nothing has my bowels bounded up all season like the Timbers inability to score. Given that, seeing them score four goals – and seeing Blanco, of all the players on the roster, come alive? – there’s nothing to call both things but what I’ve been waiting for since First Kick and and/or that live-broadcast de-pantsing of Sporting Kansas City earlier in the season. Having that to look at helps me look past all kinds of flaws, which helped because Portland had plenty tonight. That said, and on a very fundamental level, all it takes for me to believe the Timbers can go somewhere in any given season is a reliable path to goal. And, if I’m being honest, a semi-reliable path to goal carries me a couple steps closer to interested. Now come the caveats. Because of course I have caveats.
Only two observations from my preview post for this game came through: 1) that the Loons, much like the Timbers, are at their best on the break, and 2) that they haven’t been all the way present lately. I didn’t expect the latter to come good as early as it did, but that paled against Minnesota’s defensive collapse over the first 20 minutes of the second half. Few soccer-writing cliches get the ready pass that “a tale of two halves” gets, but I don’t know that anyone has adequately explained the why/how the fuck of a team dominating one half (as Minnesota did in the first half) and then nodding off in a way that would make Sleeping Beauty say, “damn” in the second. How does that switch go off, and is there someone we can pay to make that happen in every Timbers game that happens between now and the end of my life and/or when I lose interest?
To answer the obvious question – i.e., did I lose faith? – of course I did. What other response can one have to seeing your team’s defense take two wet shits on an already-soiled mattress? Apologies for the crudeness of the metaphor – and I hope the sub-text that Minnesota’s first goal didn’t bother me nearly as much as the other two – but I started the outline of another yes-I-am-nervous post immediately after the halftime whistle blew. Also, as evidenced by a tweet floated into public domain early in the second half (see my game thread), I didn’t feel much better until Sebastian Blanco scored his second goal of the match – from open play too – which brings me to the only real take-away I have from this game.
Nothing has my bowels bounded up all season like the Timbers inability to score. Given that, seeing them score four goals – and seeing Blanco, of all the players on the roster, come alive? – there’s nothing to call both things but what I’ve been waiting for since First Kick and and/or that live-broadcast de-pantsing of Sporting Kansas City earlier in the season. Having that to look at helps me look past all kinds of flaws, which helped because Portland had plenty tonight. That said, and on a very fundamental level, all it takes for me to believe the Timbers can go somewhere in any given season is a reliable path to goal. And, if I’m being honest, a semi-reliable path to goal carries me a couple steps closer to interested. Now come the caveats. Because of course I have caveats.
Only two observations from my preview post for this game came through: 1) that the Loons, much like the Timbers, are at their best on the break, and 2) that they haven’t been all the way present lately. I didn’t expect the latter to come good as early as it did, but that paled against Minnesota’s defensive collapse over the first 20 minutes of the second half. Few soccer-writing cliches get the ready pass that “a tale of two halves” gets, but I don’t know that anyone has adequately explained the why/how the fuck of a team dominating one half (as Minnesota did in the first half) and then nodding off in a way that would make Sleeping Beauty say, “damn” in the second. How does that switch go off, and is there someone we can pay to make that happen in every Timbers game that happens between now and the end of my life and/or when I lose interest?
