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| Look, just hear me out... |
For once, I can honestly say this won’t take long.
Second, the facts: the Portland Timbers drew Real Salt Lake 0-0 at Providence Park last night. Neither team deserved more than one point, though, all things considered, RSL had the two best looks at goal and therefore the better claim on all three points. (Also, it really says something when the video secton of the game summary includes no individual highlights.)That said, after enduring this game, I feel like I could make the beginning of a case that some draws should see both teams awarded zero points; maybe leave it to a panel of international judges to decide, as in Olympic ice skating, only screen them to make sure real-world political alliances don’t slip any mischief into the final analysis.
To linger in that alternate universe, if I had to argue the Timbers’ right to one point to those judges, the case I made would go something like this: they posted decent numbers and put enough shots on frame to meet some bare standard for competence; moreover, a (reportedly) dodgy hip forced them to play without their lucky rabbit’s foot, aka, Diego Chara. Finally, and this is a personal note, they did one thing I asked of them in my preview for this match [Ed. - that’ll be the last one I post this season; those are fucking up the writing schedule.]: multiple Timbers shot the ball from range, with Cristhian Paredes taking the two best cracks, with honorable mention to Bill Tuiloma.
Now…if I was the prosecutor…
To start, the fact that Paredes (a box-to-box midfielder) and Tuiloma (a central defender) fired Portland’s best shots means a whole bunch of dudes didn’t show up for their shift last night. Santiago Moreno cut inside and clipped a decent shot toward Zac MacMath’s goal, but that one, like nearly all the rest, looked something a teammate would fire at him in warm-ups. Too many players - to name names, Dairon Asprilla, Eryk Williamson, Yimmi Chara, and, yes, Sebastian Blanco - continue to look rusty, something that simply won't do one-quarter into the regular season. The defense did all right, collectively, but Claudio Bravo will miss next week’s game at the Colorado Rapids due to a stupid, yet very on-brand tackle in the (fucking) corner of the field (the dark side of eagerness), and…just…for why Josecarlos Van Rankin? The argument that the Timbers can’t do better in that position just depresses me at this point. I mean, have the Timbers tried walking through the stands to ask for volunteers, because random, solicited tryouts stopped feeling irrational at the beginning of April. Related, I going to need some rose-colored glasses and a couple cocktails laced with ecstasy to make me feel good about the fullback situation next week.
Second, the facts: the Portland Timbers drew Real Salt Lake 0-0 at Providence Park last night. Neither team deserved more than one point, though, all things considered, RSL had the two best looks at goal and therefore the better claim on all three points. (Also, it really says something when the video secton of the game summary includes no individual highlights.)That said, after enduring this game, I feel like I could make the beginning of a case that some draws should see both teams awarded zero points; maybe leave it to a panel of international judges to decide, as in Olympic ice skating, only screen them to make sure real-world political alliances don’t slip any mischief into the final analysis.
To linger in that alternate universe, if I had to argue the Timbers’ right to one point to those judges, the case I made would go something like this: they posted decent numbers and put enough shots on frame to meet some bare standard for competence; moreover, a (reportedly) dodgy hip forced them to play without their lucky rabbit’s foot, aka, Diego Chara. Finally, and this is a personal note, they did one thing I asked of them in my preview for this match [Ed. - that’ll be the last one I post this season; those are fucking up the writing schedule.]: multiple Timbers shot the ball from range, with Cristhian Paredes taking the two best cracks, with honorable mention to Bill Tuiloma.
Now…if I was the prosecutor…
To start, the fact that Paredes (a box-to-box midfielder) and Tuiloma (a central defender) fired Portland’s best shots means a whole bunch of dudes didn’t show up for their shift last night. Santiago Moreno cut inside and clipped a decent shot toward Zac MacMath’s goal, but that one, like nearly all the rest, looked something a teammate would fire at him in warm-ups. Too many players - to name names, Dairon Asprilla, Eryk Williamson, Yimmi Chara, and, yes, Sebastian Blanco - continue to look rusty, something that simply won't do one-quarter into the regular season. The defense did all right, collectively, but Claudio Bravo will miss next week’s game at the Colorado Rapids due to a stupid, yet very on-brand tackle in the (fucking) corner of the field (the dark side of eagerness), and…just…for why Josecarlos Van Rankin? The argument that the Timbers can’t do better in that position just depresses me at this point. I mean, have the Timbers tried walking through the stands to ask for volunteers, because random, solicited tryouts stopped feeling irrational at the beginning of April. Related, I going to need some rose-colored glasses and a couple cocktails laced with ecstasy to make me feel good about the fullback situation next week.
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| Anyone? Too old? |
When I moved to my closing argument - and I’m still role-playing the prosecutor in this scenario; the defense has nothing further - I’d set one of those classroom projectors, shine the Timbers xG - zero point (FUCKING) five (0.5!?) - on the courtroom wall, and drop a fancy pen on the ground like I was dropping a mic and walk away without another word.
Seeing the Timbers attack live was instructive (and painful; I brought a guy to his first-ever soccer game; I’d have better luck selling fucking chia pets door-to-door). The most positive spin I could put on what I saw was “ad-libbed.” As with an iceberg, the other, larger side of that adjective was the reality that the Timbers couldn’t figure out how to attack - e.g., create overloads, try long diagonals to shift the attack…just trying? - so they opted to do something as close to nothing as 11 players can do for 90+ goddamn minutes. They didn’t move off the ball enough to move RSL’s defense around and too few players chose to, say, move into positions between RSL’s defensive lines - or anywhere wide or centrally for that matter - where they could receive the ball and then have movements by their teammates create disruptions/opportunities in the attack. Other adjectives come to mind - static, uncertain among them - but I think the argument came through.
In short, it was bad, I’m not sure when it’s going to get better, and I’d like to think an entire team of professional soccer players and a professional soccer coach can come up with a smarter solution than, “wait till Felipe Mora recovers.”
With the bad feeling that I’ll be bored shitless when the Timbers play the Rapids next weekend, till the next one.
Seeing the Timbers attack live was instructive (and painful; I brought a guy to his first-ever soccer game; I’d have better luck selling fucking chia pets door-to-door). The most positive spin I could put on what I saw was “ad-libbed.” As with an iceberg, the other, larger side of that adjective was the reality that the Timbers couldn’t figure out how to attack - e.g., create overloads, try long diagonals to shift the attack…just trying? - so they opted to do something as close to nothing as 11 players can do for 90+ goddamn minutes. They didn’t move off the ball enough to move RSL’s defense around and too few players chose to, say, move into positions between RSL’s defensive lines - or anywhere wide or centrally for that matter - where they could receive the ball and then have movements by their teammates create disruptions/opportunities in the attack. Other adjectives come to mind - static, uncertain among them - but I think the argument came through.
In short, it was bad, I’m not sure when it’s going to get better, and I’d like to think an entire team of professional soccer players and a professional soccer coach can come up with a smarter solution than, “wait till Felipe Mora recovers.”
With the bad feeling that I’ll be bored shitless when the Timbers play the Rapids next weekend, till the next one.
Taking a newbie to that match- whew! At least the decade-old TA chants might have seemed fresh to your friend?
ReplyDeleteAt the moment we lack even a faintly talismanic player. Nobody that should is threatening to take hold of a game. Asprilla is the old-model Asprilla. Blanco looks a little like the last days of Valeri. Yimmi is kind of an average quality DP. I hold my breath every time JVR late-challenges an attacker. Mabiala makes audible creaking noises when he runs. It's an abundance of just-ok.
Maybe the only argument for replacing Gio might be that the new guy could feel some (temporary) excitement working with this current pedestrian group of players. Gio knows what we've got and is just plodding towards the hope of some fresh faces in July and a customary fall miracle.