Felipe's Farewell, Four Points Taken & a Familiar Serving Angst

Because this will include notes on two games, plus a half-assed Scouting Report on the game versus the Seattle Sounders this weekend (for reasons which I’ll explain), this post attempts to compress an abundance of thoughts into what will still be short post. I’m going to kick things off with Felipe Mora’s last game as a Timber.

Mora scored three goals over his last two games. To be clear, I committed to Team Kevin Kelsy early in the 2026 season, without regrets (doesn’t hurt Kelsy backed that up), but one can’t help but wonder what Mora could have done with more than 443 minutes. Scored a couple more goals, almost certainly, the man always works and I’ve always respected what he brought to the team, while also accepting he doesn’t fit the team the Timbers have evolved into over the past season or two (for good, and mostly ill). Making peace with departure still comes a lot easier than liking it.

The goals he scored – the first, a classic put-back versus FC Dallas, the second and third headed goals off corners(!) versus Real Salt Lake – all pointed to what made Mora effective as a player: reading the game, knowing where to go to receive a pass, sniff out a rebound or, almost comically, to find a gap between defenders half a foot taller than him to nod home. Didn’t even have to jump on that first goal against RSL…priceless…

Scoring that brace on Saturday put Mora within a goal of a now, deservedly-mythical Portland Timbers hat trick and – I’m pretty sure I mean it when I say this – I don’t think I even want to see a Timbers hat trick unless it comes in a moment that would have been as perfect as Felipe Mora scoring one in his farewell game. Had it happened, every person who attended that game live would have experienced one of those rare, privileged moments that gave meaning to suffering through 100 shit performances played under terrible weather and worse refereeing. A Mora hat trick would have ranked right behind the double post in the pantheon of “I’d go back in time and kill moments” in Portland Timbers history.

Level Set 12, Real Salt Lake: After the Success Story

How it started. Going was MLS Cup 2009!

What follows is a brief history of Real Salt Lake, plus more brief notes on whatever long-term tendencies they have. Their 2025 season gets weighed on both sides of that and the whole thing ends with where I see things with them in this very specific moment in time - i.e., before First Kick 2026. You should count on things happening between here and there.

The post ends with a scale I came up with to measure the long-term success of every team in Major League Soccer. It does some things well (e.g., count trophies/achievements), other things less well (capture recent trends). It's called the Joint Points Scale and you can find a link that explains what it does. I was really stoned when I came up with the scale and wrote the post. Caveat lector. With that...

Thumbnail History
I’m here to tell the kids that joining MLS as an expansion team today is nothing like what it was in the mid-2000s. Back then, the incoming front office couldn’t sign even one designated player – the Designated/aka “Beckham Rule” wasn’t codified until 2007 – which left any incoming team picking through the same crappy, exhausted buffet, as every other team in the league, aka, the Superdraft and whatever scraps they could buy from overseas. That’s the league Chivas USA and Real Salt Lake stepped into in 2005 and, golly, does “stepped into” get right to it. To their (very temporary) credit, Chivas USA turned over a competitive roster within one season – notably, by signing some soon-to-be famous young Americans - but it took RSL three-plus seasons to climb that mini-Everest. They built their first, best teams around rightful MLS legends like Kyle Beckerman, Javier Morales, and long-time anchor/boogeyman/legend, Nick Rimando, but they also did some next-level work in terms of finding great complimentary players like Fabian Espindola and, to turn the backline into a wall, Jamison Olave and Nat Borchers. When it all finally came together with a couple players who understood their roles and played them well – e.g., Ned Grabavoy and Will Johnson as shuttlers in a midfield-four diamond – they became one of MLS 2.0’s most consistent – and dangerous – teams. RSL didn’t just make the 2008 playoffs, they pushed to the semifinals. Just one season later, they lifted MLS Cup 2009 by holding off a pre-peak Los Angeles Galaxy team through regulation and extra-time and giving them one of the most famous Rimando-ings in MLS history. Over the next several season, they made Rio Tinto Stadium into a fortress with a 29-home-game unbeaten streak that started in June 6, 2009 (their road form, on the other hand…), but even that triumphal time included one of the most sharply painful moments in MLS history. RSL reached the final of the 2010-2011 CONCACAF Champions’ League tournament and, after drawing Liga MX’s Monterrey 2-2 in Mexico, all they needed to become the first MLS team to hoist the revamped regional club championship trophy was a keep Monterrey off the board in the fortress they’d built. All that promise came undone when some guy named Humberto Andres Suavo Pontivo scored at the 45th minute for Monterrey and, even with their (then-)best all-time roster and flashy, yet strapping forward Alvaro Saborio on board, RSL couldn’t pull back that one goal. RSL survived the blow and, with the balance of the core still intact, they reached the semifinals again in 2011 and MLS Cup again in 2013. They ultimately lost that game, but the success head coach Jason Kreis enjoyed between 2008-2013 made him not just a hot commodity, but the subject (or is it an object?) of a campaign that tried to whisper him to the U.S. Men’s National Team hot seat. He ditched them when New York City FC showed a little leg (before they even had horses, it bears noting), but the familiar pattern set in: player by player and season by season, the members of that team either aged out or moved on. RSL never fully slipped all the way under the waves – they’ve made the last eight in the playoffs four times since 2013, including a trip to the Western Conference final in 2021 - but they have struggled with getting enough quality on the same roster in the same season to take them that vital one step further.

Getting Reacquainted with Real Salt Lake, the Inspiring Underdogs of MLS 2.0

I can see you don't care....

Thumbnail History
I’m here to tell the kids that joining MLS as an expansion team today is nothing like what it was in the mid-2000s. Back then, the incoming front office couldn’t sign even one designated player – the Designated/aka “Beckham Rule” wasn’t codified until 2007 – which left any incoming team picking through the same crappy, then exhausted buffet, as every other team in the league. That’s the MLS Chivas USA and Real Salt Lake stepped into in 2005 and, golly, does “stepped into” get right to it. To their (very temporary) credit, Chivas USA turned over a competitive roster within one season – notably, by signing some soon-to-be famous young Americans - but it took RSL four seasons to climb that mini-Everest. They built their first, best teams around rightful MLS legends like Kyle Beckerman, (now Miami assistant coach) Javier Morales, and long-time anchor/dream-killer, Nick Rimando, but they also did some next-level work in terms of finding great complimentary players like Fabian Espindola and, to turn the backline into a wall, Jamison Olave and Nat Borchers. When it all finally came together with a couple players who understood their roles and played them well – e.g., Ned Grabavoy and Will Johnson as shuttlers in a midfield-four diamond – they became one of MLS 2.0’s most consistent – and dangerous – teams. RSL didn’t just make the 2008 playoffs, they pushed to the semifinals. Just one season later, they raised MLS Cup 2009 by holding them off in regulation and through extra-time, until they dealt a pre-peak Los Angeles Galaxy team one of the most famous Rimando-ings in MLS history. All that success turned head coach Jason Kreis into not just a hot commodity, but the subject (or is it an object?) of a campaign that tried to whisper him to the U.S. Men’s National Team hot-seat for a season or two. That team turned Rio Tinto Stadium into a fortress with a 29-home-game unbeaten streak that started in June 6, 2009 (their road form, on the other hand…), but even that triumphal time included one of the most sharply painful moments in MLS history. RSL reached the final of the 2010-2011 CONCACAF Champions’ League tournament and, after drawing Liga MX’s Monterrey 2-2 in Mexico, all they needed to become the first MLS team to hoist the revamped regional club championship trophy was a keep Monterrey off the board in the fortress they’d built. All that promise came undone when some guy named Humberto Andres Suavo Pontivo scored at the 45th minute for Monterrey and, even with their (then-)best all-time roster and flashy forward Alvaro Saborio on board, RSL couldn’t pull back that one goal. RSL survived the blow and, with the balance of the core still intact, they reached the semifinals again in 2011 and MLS Cup again in 2013. They ultimately lost that game, but the success head coach Jason Kreis enjoyed between 2008-2013 made him not just a hot commodity, but the subject (or is it an object?) of a campaign that tried to whisper him to the U.S. Men’s National Team hot seat. Smal wonder he checked out after that season to take the reins at New York City FC (before they even had horses, it bears noting), but player by player and season by season, the members of that team either aged out or moved on. As you’ll see below, RSL never fully slipped all the way under the waves – they’ve made the last eight in the playoffs four times since 2013, including a trip to the playoffs in 2021 - but they have struggled with getting enough quality on the same roster in the same season to take them that vital one step further. They have improved at finding the odd great/promising young player (e.g., Diego Luna), including on the DP market player (e.g., Cristian Arango), and they have a respectable youth system (see Justen Glad, Adrian Brody(?)), but they remain a small-ish market team in a league where that gets harder every season.

Portland Timbers 3-0 Real Salt Lake: Superior Kung Fu

Cat v. Spider-Monkey style?

Well. I’ll be…

The Portland Timbers went wire-to-wire in last night’s 3-0 win over a visiting (and leggy?) Real Salt Lake team that, at the time of first kicking, 10 more points than the Timbers. This win, more than any of the five(!) that came before it over the past six games, felt like a real announcement, a throwing down of the gauntlet, and a warning to the once-betters that used to have to look a ways down the table to see the Portland…

…just to note it, but the Seattle Sounders are on a streak one-point hotter than Portland’s and the Vancouver Whitecaps kicked the shit out of St. Louis CITY FC, leaving those teams one and two points behind the Timbers, respectively. Celebrate the win, by all means, but do keep a close eye on the rearview.

A Summary
I’d barely formed an opinion on the tifo (good one, guys!) when a very much in-form Santiago Moreno wrecked the left side of RSL’s defense by spinning around a double team and behind the defense. That left him with plenty of traffic ahead, but Felipe Mora cut through it with a run in front of Brayan Vera and beat Zac McMath at the near-post. The game went into management mode for the rest of the first half – which, here, means RSL working the ball around the filed; capably; again, this is a good team who does that well – and Portland punching back in transition. A couple shots excepted – going with a break that almost broke through for RSL and a back-post chance Jonathan Rodriguez should have hit better – it boiled down to one team’s kung fu against another’s.

For what feels like the…let’s go with tenth time this season, the Timbers came out of the halftime locker room swinging (whatever you’re doing in there, Phil, whether it’s motivational speaking, a drum circle, a special kind of incense, bumps of blow, keep doing it, man!). At the very beginning of the second half, they knocked once before barging through the door with a second goal of the night, one that rode the ragged line between elaborate and absurdist. It’s a goal for Timbers fans to celebrate because they finally scored one through one of their patented three-to-four-extra-touches specials.

Porltand Timbers 0-0 Real Salt Lake: A Stat That Screamed Volumes

Look, just hear me out...

For once, I can honestly say this won’t take long.

Second, the facts: the Portland Timbers drew Real Salt Lake 0-0 at Providence Park last night. Neither team deserved more than one point, though, all things considered, RSL had the two best looks at goal and therefore the better claim on all three points. (Also, it really says something when the video secton of the game summary includes no individual highlights.)That said, after enduring this game, I feel like I could make the beginning of a case that some draws should see both teams awarded zero points; maybe leave it to a panel of international judges to decide, as in Olympic ice skating, only screen them to make sure real-world political alliances don’t slip any mischief into the final analysis.

To linger in that alternate universe, if I had to argue the Timbers’ right to one point to those judges, the case I made would go something like this: they posted decent numbers and put enough shots on frame to meet some bare standard for competence; moreover, a (reportedly) dodgy hip forced them to play without their lucky rabbit’s foot, aka, Diego Chara. Finally, and this is a personal note, they did one thing I asked of them in my preview for this match [Ed. - that’ll be the last one I post this season; those are fucking up the writing schedule.]: multiple Timbers shot the ball from range, with Cristhian Paredes taking the two best cracks, with honorable mention to Bill Tuiloma.

Now…if I was the prosecutor…

To start, the fact that Paredes (a box-to-box midfielder) and Tuiloma (a central defender) fired Portland’s best shots means a whole bunch of dudes didn’t show up for their shift last night. Santiago Moreno cut inside and clipped a decent shot toward Zac MacMath’s goal, but that one, like nearly all the rest, looked something a teammate would fire at him in warm-ups. Too many players - to name names, Dairon Asprilla, Eryk Williamson, Yimmi Chara, and, yes, Sebastian Blanco - continue to look rusty, something that simply won't do one-quarter into the regular season. The defense did all right, collectively, but Claudio Bravo will miss next week’s game at the Colorado Rapids due to a stupid, yet very on-brand tackle in the (fucking) corner of the field (the dark side of eagerness), and…just…for why Josecarlos Van Rankin? The argument that the Timbers can’t do better in that position just depresses me at this point. I mean, have the Timbers tried walking through the stands to ask for volunteers, because random, solicited tryouts stopped feeling irrational at the beginning of April. Related, I going to need some rose-colored glasses and a couple cocktails laced with ecstasy to make me feel good about the fullback situation next week.

Portland Timbers Preview: Versus RSL, Desperation & Despondency

The elephant calling bullshit on the image...

First, I’m going to my first Portland Timbers game since that God-forsaken game against Minnesota United FC at the height of last summer’s heatwave, which, taking everything together, it felt like watching a game on fucking Mars. At any rate…

…wait, one more thing. FC Cincinnati plays Los Angeles FC this week and, because LAFC is a Western Conference team, I came in and out of thinking Portland plays LAFC this weekend and Cincy played…shit, I don’t know? Cleveland? Memphis? By that I mean another team in the league, obviously(?), but that still kicked my brain brain from one thought process to another as I mapped out the what ifs. It got a little multi-versey, honestly…

Real Salt Lake. Portland hosts RSL tomorrow. And I’m going…fuck, how does the SeatGeek app work? Now, seriously, the game…

Between recent results - e.g., New York City FC handed them their heads, asses, and everything in between last weekend, then they tripped over the North Colorado Hailstorm in the U.S. Open Cup at midweek - and their late form (grimace along at home), I expect them to come into Providence Park in some place in between despondency and desperation. And I suspect that how they approach Saturday’s game will turn on where they fall on that spectrum.

Based on their approach to the first several games of 2022, particularly their early successes, I expect desperation will be the dominant mode and, therefore, expect RSL to play an aggressive game, if not a very aggressive game - e.g., they’ll hunt the ball, challenge everything that comes at them, 90 minutes on the front-foot, and so on; basically, I expect them to play according to the Gospel of Mastroeni. Their hot start cooled off - they haven’t won in four and have just two points from 12 - and that rhymes with the broad theory that they played over their heads and/or teams embroiled in CONCACAF Champions’ League campaigns early in the season and have since crashed back down to Earth. Moreover, the road game at Portland kicks off a tough stretch, or, rather, continues it, seeing as they played away to New York City FC last weekend. About which…

I tuned in just after the 20th minute, which amounted to two goals too late. New York piled on chances, then goals, and the final score looked like a teeter-totter with an elephant on one side and a mouse on the other…only/, unlike in the cartoons, the elephant didn’t remotely mind the mouse. It ended 6-0 and, in certain moments, 10-0 didn’t seem out of the question.

Portland Timbers 3-0 Real Salt Lake: Hitting Every Mark (and Hot Damn!)

How I'm keeping a clear head, or attempting to.

I saw a couple things in the time between the Portland Timbers absolutely nailed their final dress rehearsal for the 2019 season and actually sitting down to watch it. In fact, on my way to queuing up the archived stream, I saw the Bizarro-world score – i.e., one that had Real Salt Lake beating Portland 3-0 – but the opposite happened, of course. The Timbers won the game 3-0, and it took less than five minutes for the correct timeline to assert itself when Jeremy Ebobisse handled an Andy Polo cross and quietly slotted home Portland’s first goal.

Another moment better illustrates the way the game played out. Somewhere around the 68th minute, the ball rolled to Diego Valeri, with RSL’s Kyle Beckerman standing not more than a yard away. Beckerman bit hard to where he thought Valeri would take the ball, but Diego opened his body and guided the ball upfield, toward RSL’s goal. Beckerman grabbed Valeri to stop the break, picking up a yellow card for this pair of bad decisions. That one, short moment translates to the game writ large, because every player in Timbers green had moments very much like that happened over and over. The team brimmed with confidence yesterday – Zarek (freakin’) Valentin picked off a ball and pirouetted away with it with La Liga flair around the 10th minute, fer crissakes – and, to take the dimmest possible view of it, maybe that follows from having RSL’s number last season; maybe the two teams’ composition gives Portland a standing edge for now. A sunnier interpretation argues that good decisions and solid technique aligned in a way that promises at least some bright spots in the season that starts just one week from now.

What made me giddiest, though, was that RSL didn’t play a bad game. They forced at least three tough saves out of Jeff Attinella (at least) – including an early attempt by (I think Corey Baird) that took a desperate swing of the legs to keep the ball out of the goal. The ball that fed the attempt came from Damir Kreilach (playing as a second forward; see last paragraph) with a detour near Julio Cascante, and that underlines the very important point that Portland wasn’t perfect. But Cascante had a decent game, I’d argue his best of the preseason. And where he got beat, Attinella stepped into the breach left behind. Again, that phenomenon played out over and over, and all game. This, however, was more typical: at one point, RSL tried to play Baird around the right back (Jorge Villafana) the same way Portland had sent Andy Polo around (I think) Aaron Herrera throughout the first half to reasonably devastating effect (see, the first goal, and the third, just on the opposite side); in that moment, Baird had Villafana rummaging around his back pocket and with two more defenders left to beat inside. The organization was good, y’all.

Real Salt Lake 1-4 Portland Timbers: Chekhov's Axe

I worry sometimes, perhaps more than I should.

The Portland Timbers rolled into Sandy, Utah last night “needing a result” against Real Salt Lake, if in some non-specific sense. To give a tautly symbolic answer for what they wound up getting, I give you Lucas Melano’s first goal of 2018, and Portland’s fourth of the game. After playing something like even for 70 minutes, RSL either fell apart or the Timbers tore them apart - and in Sandy, too, a rare feat in 2018 - on the way to a 4-1 win that arrived late, but with gusto.

It was a strange game, honestly. Portland could barely connect more than three passes in the opening 10-15 minutes - and not by anything RSL was doing, but by just giving away the ball. It took them some time to knock that shit off and, even when they managed it long enough to create Jeremy Ebobisse’s game-opening goal, the quality and composure of their work came in and out like a series of cameos. If you watched the first 70 minutes of this game with your heart beating green and gold, you never stopped checking over your shoulder for the inevitable falling axe (you know that thing, where they show you a gun at the beginning of a play?). I can speak only for myself, but I didn’t stop checking my 5 and 7 for that axe, even after Sebastian Blanco put Portland up 2-1 with some strapping thievery. That lingering paranoia would last took three, maybe four minutes more when Blanco buried the game with his second goal of the game, and the Timbers’ third.

I became a contented puddle after that unswaddled miracle. Once it became clear that the Timbers could fuck up without fucking up the game? Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, etc. After a long day of watching my country self-immolate, this was very, very welcome. It was nice to have an uncomplicated, happy emotion for a few.

Portland built its win on all those goals (if with a dash of slam-dunk (e.g., Melano’s goal)), but, around half time, I noticed something that I wasn’t seeing: looks at goal for RSL, never mind any good ones. RSL scored, obviously, and through a slightly enormous seam left open when the Timbers’ got wrapped up in defending a cross that never came, but they didn’t get too many shots in the end (nine total; numbers mean something when they match what you see). As I review the game in my mind, it feels like Portland’s midfield - ft. Mssrs. Chara and Guzman - managed the game as much as anyone else out there; I don’t recall heroics from this or that defender and Steve Clark didn’t have much to do in goal either. Portland kept RSL away from goal, basically, and for most of the game. The reality is, the Timbers managed the Hell out of this game. As much as that’s obvious in retrospect, I really never did stop checking for that axe. How many dumb/sloppy/clumsy goals have the Timbers allowed this season? No idea, and it doesn’t matter; what matters is the extent to which I’ve internalized that as “a thing,” something that just happens because bad things happen to good people. Or just Julio Cascante. When he came on, I could have sworn I saw a red dot on his back...