What Kansas City Has That Portland Needs

Once called "cads," now just douches.

"KC wasn't good tonight, really, but any team with enough talent, or even just a reliable trick up their sleeve, can steal any game against the Timbers on a night when they don't score...”

I dropped that into the post reviewing the Portland Timbers road draw against Sporting Kansas City about a month back. Terrible sentence, obviously, but who knew how well it would serve to explain what went wrong Saturday night against KC? And yet there's something, for lack of a better word, fitting about the goal that decided Saturday’s game.

A couple little known facts: first, I have a particular fascination with two vintage national teams, one of them being the Hungarian National Team of the 1950s, the so-called Magic Magyars (or maybe "Mighty Magyars") who welcomed the English National Team back to the international game with a massive slap upside their over-inflated heads. That team has conditioned me to expect...perhaps more than I should from Hungarians players. Second, Liverpool is "my English team," or they were before I officially tied the knot with Major League Soccer all those years ago. That brief connection to Liverpool affects me in much the same way as the thing with Hungary. Basically, and whether rationally or not, put the words "Hungary" and "Liverpool" in the same sentence as any given player’s name and you have my attention.

So, Krisztian Nemeth: I am on record as coveting him, and since preseason, where he put in some visibly next-level performances. He's no Sebastian Giovinco, but it doesn't surprise me in the least that Nemeth has posted solid numbers as an MLS "rookie." Though One-hundred percent capable of making his own shot – and he produced a noteworthy Exhibit A Saturday night - it's more significant, in the end, that Nemeth does just about everything he needs to well and consistently. I smiled in spite of myself on watching Nemeth spin three Portland defenders on his way to scoring the game's lone goal (four, if you count Diego Chara twice, as seems fitting), because, yes, I do rate him that highly, even as I'm forced to wonder why all that "Hungary" and "Liverpool" has done less for his career than a half dozen months in the American Midwest. Yes, yes, the past informs the present, etc. Moving on...

I lead with Nemeth (and, again, flirtatiously wink in his general direction; come to Portland, Krisztian, we have so much culture) to frame a key question: who is Portland's Nemeth? Who has Portland been able to look to this season with the ability and mindset to hoist the team onto his shoulders to lead, really lead, the charge on the opposition goal? There is no clear answer to that question. We have a couple candidates, true, but the way no answer leaps to mind is the sum of Portland's 2015 season.

Timbers Lose to the Red Bulls: A Feel-Piece in Response

Yes, part of me thinks it's this easy.

Tonight's 2-0 loss was really, painfully simple. The Portland Timbers got outplayed by a better team. Period. So, what makes the New York Red Bulls a better team? That's the pisser. It's not that hard.

O.G. New York (my fan-boy name for that club) knows what they're doing when they have ball. They play out of trouble more effectively, and no matter where they are on the field; Red Bulls players provide better support; they create those useful little triangles by reflex, as opposed to any (apparent) design that allow their players to reliably move the ball out of danger, and get it going the other way, time and again. It didn't hurt that they beat the Timbers to damn near every piece of slop that shook loose, managed to get the requisite number of bodies behind the ball damn near every time, etc. etc. etc. But it was that piece of knowing what to do with the ball that mattered most tonight. Sure, sure, both of New York's goals relied on some form of lax defending, but New York made those chances by doing the right thing more often than not.

Unrelated, but significant, can Timbers fans please retire the "dodgy 'keeper" chant, or at least apply exclusively to those 'keepers it has a snowball's chance in Hell of rattling? Luis Robles, Jr. is not that guy. I speak for myself here, but I'd trade Adam Kwarasey, plus whoever serves as our back-up 'keeper these days for Robles. The guy is U.S. Men's National Team material, and has been for years; only Jurgen Klinsmann's profound, persistent asshole-ism/Brad Guzan keeps him out (well, yes, and his age). Need evidence? You got it.

Even without Robles pulling miracles out of his ass, Portland simply labored to get a shot on New York's goal. Too many shots came from a lack of ideas – i.e. a Timber would shoot out of a dearth of visible, or observed (as in, didn't see 'em), options. Darlington Nagbe wound up at least twice only to pummel the ball into the one or two New York defenders between him and the goal; same with Lucas Melano, Rodney Wallace, Diego Valeri...Will Johnson at least skied one off the bar, but I'm pretty sure he banged one into a red and white wall right along with the rest of 'em. It's a great idea, shooting from distance, and one I'm in favor of generally...just not when a trio of defensive players loiters in the way.

With all the above in mind, "intention" provides the theme for tonight – i.e. the sense that, unlike the Timbers, New York has a plan and some sense of how to execute it. That one goes deep, if only in my head. Why?

Portland Timbers Draw Sporting KC: A Study on a Work in Progress

Sacrificed my smallest finger. What have you done, Timbers?

I have to admit it. The Portland Timbers goal-less draw against Sporting Kansas City left me feeling...feelings.

As the Twitter-verse pointed out, and against the general way of the drinking world, can we all agree that we're all better off forgetting that first half and holding onto the bright memories of the second? The second half presented the Timbers Army, and affiliated fans, with a great big doozy of expectations. My right hand still bears the reddened evidence from all the times my fist hit a barroom table. (Consider that an offering: if I break my hand on the table after the miss that inspired it, can I parlay that brief moment of pain for a Timbers goal at their next attempt? If not, why not? Trade makes the world go 'round, allows the wheels of commerce to turn, etc.)

Getting back to the first half, however, that played out pretty much as expected. Kansas City plays to make the game ugly; they're a classic high-press, disruption-first kind of team; they set out to make it hard to play just about anywhere on the field (which makes them an excellent primer for the Timbers' next opponent, New York Red Bulls). Something shifted at the half that gave the Timbers the moxie and space to attack – and I hereby raise my hand to confess that I have no idea what that would be – but would humbly submit that maybe it was nothing more than that little bit more moxie that created the space...these are the mysteries of soccer, especially when one sits down to try to write the first, second draft of history (in this modern era, the first draft always goes to Twitter).

Whatever happened, Portland piled on the chances in the second half – and in a manner reminiscent of last week's loss to Seattle Sounders FC – only to find themselves "Melia'd" at every turn (and, sweet Jesus, is there some kind of passing of the torch going here, wherein KC's Tim Melia becomes the heir-apparent for fucking over the Timbers, a la Nick Rimando?). As a very smart man I watch games with suggested, does Portland just bring out the best in opposition goalkeepers? I mean, is this our club's fate?

The pisser comes with the fact that that little edge – e.g. a standing-on-head performance from a 'keeper – is all any given team needs to take a gigantic shit on a basically acceptable night for the Timbers. Being the sociable type, I didn't catch every single minute of tonight's game - there will people to meet, etc. - but I damn-skippy caught Graham Zusi's shot off Adam Kwarasey's left post (as well as a couple headed shots off set pieces that rather kindly landed at or near Kwarasey to make for comfortable saves). KC wasn't good tonight, really, but any team with enough talent, or even just a reliable trick up their sleeve – can steal any game against the Timbers on a night when they don't score...

...suffice to say that the second half of tonight's game made up for the first half, excitment-wise. Heart-in-throat stuff. And that's why we tune in, isn't it? Is that enough random junk in the  (long) lede? Let's review...

Timbers Top Chicago, But Are They Tall Enough?

NOTE: This is NOT a high bar.

Celebrating a win comes naturally. It's also easy to moan about a loss. This morning, though, I'm going to do the second hardest thing in spectator sports, i.e. moan about a win. (What's the hardest thing? Trumpeting the little victories in a loss.)

This could have gone up last night, but, after peaking at Twitter and seeing generally positive tweets about Adam Kwarasey's clean sheets (in spite of himself?) and how reliably the Timbers perform at Providence Park (but what about well?), giving people time to celebrate before I haul the rain clouds over the party felt like the classy thing to do.

Look, I'm happy that the Timbers accidentally beat the Chicago Fire last night. Yeah, yeah, credit Timbers players for putting themselves into position to cause problems, but the goal that won it was accidental. In the hours since the final whistle blew, I’ve come to think of the win as such: when Lassie came over the hill barking her head off, she brought good news and bad: the good news is that Timmy is alive and uninjured (we won!), but the bad news is that Timmy is still at the bottom of the goddamn well.

This past Thursday, I attended a classy symposium comprised of people with a peculiar (erotic?) interest in the performance and fate of the Portland Timbers. At one point, some smart someone floated the question of whether last night's game was a must-win. After answering yes, I drifted off from time to time as I tried to figure out why that felt accurate. What I came up with is the argument that facing a team that's clearly in the running to be, literally, one of the worst in the league, and on your home field, works like those childhood-destroying signs at amusement parks that say "you must be at least [this tall] in order to ride this ride."

Being as tall as that sign only means that you're big enough to go on the ride, not that you're ready for it. Think of "the ride" as the playoffs, and you should follow.

Timbers Draw in Super-Suburbia: Is This Acceptance?

When we needed to boogie...we got this.

Between the time Major League Soccer first shrunk (e.g., contraction, around 2000, yeah?) then expanded (like, 2005, to ongoing), if you asked me to name a match-up that I would never regret missing, the reply came quick and sure: the Kansas City Wizards v. the San Jose Earthquakes. Something about that pairing read...just awful to me, so bad that I think my vision went blurry anytime my eyes fell upon it.

A lot of things have changed since then – San Jose left California, came back after a Texas sojourn; the Wizards' organization finally grasped how silly their name sounded and changed it, etc. I've even grown to appreciate Kansas City's blunt-nose style, especially now that it's cleaned up a little, but San Jose. Damn. Just find it hard to get up for any game against, or involving, San Jose. And, this afternoon's draw against the Portland Timbers? Didn't help.

Some portion of blame for the snooze-fest goes to Portland, of course. It takes two to trip through the tango and neither team managed to get the footwork right today. Adequacy. I saw a lot of adequacy out there, and on both sides of the ball. The Timbers were more adequate for me...wait; is it less adequate? What I mean to say is the Timbers looked better to me, but not quite enough to be good. Or maybe the Timbers tickled the bottom of competence, and that’s better than adequate, surely? Right?

To put it another way, the Timbers did more to win, and it would have been fine had they won, but, all the same, I'm not surprised that they didn't win tonight. I mean, playing like that? Nah.

The Timbers Advance: An Open Cup Victory Sprinkled with Sweet, Sweet Humiliation!

Wait! Right, left, down, A...STOP IT! What's the move?!

First of all, wow, is this going to throw a handful of ground chiles all over the next Cascadia match. The Seattle Sounders turned in a meltdown worthy of toddlers, I tell you. Clint, you've added to your legend, buddy. Congrats! Back to the regularly scheduled post...

If you've ever played Mortal Kombat, and if you're as terrible at it as I am, you know what it's like to master one even mildly effective attack. Say, it's a jab, something you can work against an opponent due to a fluke of timing, so you use it to shave off a narrow band of health at a time. This only gives you the illusion of winning. If the guy you're playing has mastered his avatar’s "killer move," you can land all the jabs you like, but your opponent has still lost only two thirds of her bar, and she'll lay your ass OUT after just two attacks. And if you're not on the floor with your entrails sprawled to the sky after that, your sad little spandexed man is swooning on his feet to set up the same humiliation.

That's the rough experience of playing against this edition of the Seattle Sounders: no matter how badly they've played all 90 long, the Sounders have the talent to score at absolutely any moment and steal the game. Turns out the tale unfolds a little differently when you push Seattle to the 120th, when, again, they melt down, get three players sent off, and just generally act entitled. And so your club wins, 3-1. Can't we game-plan this for next time?

Anyway, great, deeply satisfying win for the Portland Timbers – and I absolutely look forward to the hair-rending amongst Sounders fans (even if I'm not likely to see it), because, yes, two of those cards were harsh. One wasn't (e.g. the two yellows to Brad Evans), not that they'll either care or remember, and Sigi Schmid's game management followed roughly the same script that Caleb Porter might have followed if he was a complete idiot and left Diego Valeri in to the end of the game. But he wasn't, so Portland didn't...and now Portland is in, Seattle's is out, etc.

Then again, wins in a Cup tournament come in isolation by their very nature: they’re not part of the season overall, naturally, which means patterns from that regular season matter a lot tonight, while, at the same time, they don't matter at all. I'll attempt to draw a line between league play and Cup play below, but it won't last long. And there will be bleeding.

Timbers Top DC United - I Even Caught Parts of It

The only thing missing is a beer.

Sending me to watch a soccer game live is like dropping an infant into a room full of mirrors, crinkly stuffed animals and buttons that make noises when pushed. I get very, very distracted. By everything (I haven’t quietly "made" at a live game; so far so good). When I'm not staring at everything but the game, I'm talking to the person I came with. Damn close to non-stop, too. Because I like my friends.

So, anyone looking for in-depth, closely observed match analysis probably ought to check elsewhere (the stuff in there on Gaston Fernandez is interesting in a "hey-a-friend-of-a-friend-who-you-will-never-meet-did-this-interesting-thing" kind of way). Happily, the couple articles and the box score I checked this morning matched my fuzzy impressions of the game (which degraded to downright wooly by the 85th minute), down even to wondering if everyone played that little bit better because they’re all afraid that Will Johnson will holler at them...

Yet I think that’s the key: the Portland Timbers, as a whole, just played a better game last night. And, shit, buried the lead again, the Timbers beat a thrown-together DC United side 1-0. They didn't appear to do anything drastically different, either. Dairon Asprilla had a beast of a run, bulling and stumbling through and over three DC players (that one got the crowd all whooped-up) and he looked great on both sides of the ball, and I guess that’s a good short-hand for what went right out there. The Timbers, as a whole, shelved the occasional hesitant listlessness that has weighed so heavily on the season and instead played with good, solid aggression. Basically, they chose not to suck. Perhaps out of fear of Will Johnson.

And...that's where the analysis dries up. After that, I agree with some general observations made in other people's analyses/articles – e.g. I’d rather see Maximiliano Urruti out there than Fanendo Adi, uh, let’s not carried away with one win, um, this wasn’t DC’s best, first team, etc. Oh, to part ways a little with one comment, I would like to see Asprilla start over Rodney Wallace. No shade on Wallace, really, but I think Asprilla has a couple more tricks in his bag. And we need tricks, people.

Toronto FC 1-0 Portland Timbers: The Real Meaning of #RCTID

RCTID, aka domestic bliss.

About three years into a real relationship – as in a sexual, monogamous, in-it-for-the-long-haul sort of arrangement – all the failings that you once laughed at become the grating quirks and habits that make you want to either leave, or set up a very, very active Tinder account. There's a decision to be made at this point, obviously, staying in or getting out. And, with the Portland Timbers, I, and just about everyone else who calls themselves a fan, is committed for the long haul, warts, farts, terrible hygiene, bad breath, philandering, perverse, diaper-based sexual preferences, and all.

But, lord, the Timbers try the patience of ten GGG saints...

I watched the game next to a guy who laughed non-stop all the way through the first half. I thought it was fitting, if in the spirit of a long-suffering wife laughing at her husband’s impotence. I know the feeling because, right now, I feel nothing short of contempt for my club. After weeks of having faith that Portland has a shot to get some kind of result from every game, the gears shifted after this one. My default belief going into every game is that Portland will lose.

To keep with analogy, every win will become my constantly drunk wife remembering our anniversary for the first time in three years. All together now...AWWW...

So much hate to spread around. I want to hate Adam Kwarasey because, as I tweeted during the game, every cross that flies over his box looks like the first one he's ever seen. And yet he's not the problem: not only did he make (a minimum of) three solid saves, he even improved on crosses as the game wore on. And, once again, Darlington Nagbe turned in another...let's call it a head-scratcher. The man has turning sickness – i.e. the disease one sees in wildebeests with their brains eaten full of holes where they turn in circles till they die in the dirt – and yet he probably set up Portland’s best, few chances, or the passes that led to the same. I want to fault the defense, but, after setting up a shooting gallery for Toronto FC and/or Sebastian Giovinco over the first 20 minutes, the back four shut down pretty nicely overall. And yet I did manage to hold onto a bundle clear, satisfying hatred...see talking point #4 below.

Timbers Survive the Impact....And Well (Enough)

How did you not see me? Fucking sitter, dude...

Can we all agree that first half featured some of the worst chess-match bullshit that anyone has seen all season? Because I was in public, I had to whisper the word, "liars," when I the broadcast posted the half-time stats. All the same, they lied. Honoring all that futility with some assumption of effort and intention is advertising, people, an attempt to sell a bad product to a gullible public.

Thank god, then, for the second half, where both teams, the Portland Timbers in particular, came out flying. Montreal punched back just as hard. In fact, Jack McInerney pushed back hard enough to negate what could have been the Montreal Impact’s equalizer. Jack Mac's tying goal was called back, instead – and rightly so - so the game ended with a 2-1 win for the Timbers. And the winner...well, the gods had to let that thing of beauty stand, didn’t they? Go Diego, go. Go Diego, go.

This was a deceptively good performance by the Timbers, and a patient one. That Montreal afforded Portland a full half to sort them out doesn't exactly speak well of the Canadian outfit: it's down to them, after all, to make all those points in hand come good and today's effort was no way to do it. When the game finally opened up, Portland proved to be the better team, and by some distance. The Timbers announced their intentions in a beautiful, bolt-out-of-the-blue sequence around 50th minute. And (going purely on memory), it went something like this: Fanendo Adi knocked down the ball to Rodney Wallace, who pinged the ball into Diego Valeri; Valeri dished to Darlington Nagbe, who dribbled a couple times, shuffled the ball back to Valeri, and then broke forward; Valeri dropped this subtle little reverse pass into Nagbe, who was now on top of the 18; Nagbe then found Barack Obama, who then found Stephen Harper lurking a little wider; Harper tapped the ball over to Pope Francis, who had a clear line on go...shit. I think my memory stopped working somewhere in there.

Suffice to say, Portland played the kind of sequence somewhere around the 50th minute (+/- 5 minutes) that most reliably unlocks a defense. Smooth, fluid, and full of moving parts: that's how good soccer players win soccer games, people: passing and movement. As much as I appreciate an athletic, slaloming dribble, passing and movement is the two-word secret to the beautiful game.

And...let’s go with 3 other thoughts.

Sounders v. Timbers. On Being Proud (Because You Have To)

Off camera: 7 other toddlers on their cans.

First of all, holy shit, was that a boring, boring, boring game. Cascadia "Clash" my considerably hairy ass (no image). One can find twice the intensity at Sunday afternoon croquet amongst toddlers.

For the first time ever, Seattle Sounders fans and Portland Timbers fans have something in common: the experience of watching two teams do absolutely everything in their power to not fail. Yes, this was the equivalent of watching your five-year-old learn to ice skate. All you non-parents out there, cherish this moment, maybe take a still from the game and post on your refrigerator. How boring was it? (Your answer: "I don't know!"). The referee concocted fouls just so he could dish out a couple yellow cards for something to do.

Anyone who watched knows the game's one and only turning point: one long throw, one soft shot by Seattle's Andy Rose, which was followed by Portland's Adam Kwarasey pattng the ball over his body and nearly into the goal like some kind of misguided kitten; I think Clint Dempsey claimed it, which only goes to prove the point that forwards are shameless as Hollywood starlets. In the end, the game ended in a 1-0 Seattle win.

I'll keep my comments on the Sounders short: if you're proud of that one, you're dyed rave green down to the roots of your wool. That's to say, you’re the kind of person who joins cults. Speaking of, did you know that your personal path to enlightenment starts with buying me a Mercedes? I'm happy to take checks.

Now, to turn to the Timbers...jesus, where to begin? I know! With bullet points!

MLS Week 8 Previews: Seattle v. Portland, The Thrilla in Vanilla! (And the other games)

Exciting.

Week 8 has already kicked off, by now, but there's plenty of MLS soccer ahead this weekend. Topping the bill this weekend, The Only Game That Matters, The Thrilla in Vanilla, yep, that's right, Seattle Sounders FC v. Portland Timbers.

And, to all those other rivalries out there, you're doing it wrong. (Kidding (inspired by #3). I enjoy everything about Seattle v. Portland, but I couldn't give less of a shit about that stuff.)

With that out of the way, it’s preview time.

Seattle Sounders FC v. Portland Timbers
For starters, the gap between how I see the Portland Timbers and how other (maybe) smart(er), and definitely better-connected observers see them has the noodles that make up my brain unraveling a little. The team I watched fumbled all over that tiny Yankee Stadium pitch with all the grace and confidence of a teenage boy (or me) trying to undo a bra (look, it's not my long suit). Portland eventually got to what NYCFC couldn't – e.g. bumbling the ball over the line – so they won. Even the one thing the Timbers did well didn't look so graceful. Yeah, yeah, Adam Kwarasey won Save of the Week (start watching about 1:10 in there). I mean, that's a no-look save in the end (the vote is rigged; stupid democracy). The man flinched. (Not judging; I would have flinched and squealed.)

While not everyone saw the game - and see the Timbers' season as a whole - differently, enough people do to make me question my perspective and/or sanity. To me the Timbers look like a eleven guitar players simultaneously playing eleven different solos. Calmer people answer back with numbers – e.g. the Armchair Analyst reminding me of Darlington Nagbe's impressive chance creation statistics, followed by the Soccer Made in Oregon noting that Nagbe created as many chances in the second half against New York City FC as a lot of players do in an entire game.

But, damn me if I can't stop evil, doubting questions from popping into my head: what, exactly, does "chances created" mean? What's a "chance"? Portland v. NYCFC didn't feature a ton of clear openings.

Basically, the whole week has felt like everyone telling me the sky is orange, while all I see when I look up is blue. All that has me of a mind to take a different approach to the preview this week, say, weighing Portland's constituent parts against Seattle's constituent parts and seeing how they stack up. Here goes:

On the Portland Timbers Dirty, Dirty Win Over New York City FC

I've got....two tickets to Paradise!

I don't want those three points, not without taking a shower before and after the Portland Timbers take them. If today's filthy McNasty 1-0 win over New York City FC proves anything it's that a win can feel sleazier than even a craven loss. I felt bad after the loss to Orlando City SC, but I'm still groping for the word that captures the essence of this win. That said, "groping" gets in the general ball-park – especially when prefaced with the word "unwanted."

I kept seeing the same word today the few times I checked my Twitter feed: "ineffectual." That must have applied to New York alone, who surely compiled an impressive edge over the Timbers on possession (wow, 54.3% to 47.7%? Bullshit. I demand a recount!). New York slipped through Portland's midfield like cones on the practice pitch for much of the game; the Timbers let them do it with defending that either fell between, or combined, unfortunate adjectives like passive and reactive. While yelling at the screen, the most I could sputter out was "someone?"

The real pisser here is that, per the proud tradition of "full internationals" (still called "friendlies" thank god; the marketing guys don't always win), the Portland Timbers faced New York side without their money-men, players like David Villa, Mix and Adam Nemec. (OK, the last guy is a stretch; in the meantime, raise your hand if you think Frank Lampard might never come.) Yes, the Timbers squeezed out that turd of a win against New York’s B-team. Portland made Andrew Fucking Jacboson look EPL-ready, people. They made rookie Khiry Shelton look like a goddamn star (and you did Oregon State U. damn proud, kid).

My personal silver lining begins and ends with Timbers' 'keeper Adam Kwarasey. He had one shaky moment – a cross inside the six that he didn’t go to, but still caught – but at least two of those five saves kept the Timbers in long enough to bungle in the abomination later re-named the game-winning goal. Still, Kwarasey is growing into his role, not just making saves, but taking better command of his area. He's not barking orders nearly enough for my liking, but he came out effectively, and often enough, that he’s my one shining light on tonight's game. Literally.

Timbers v. Orlando City Preview; All MLS Preview. PREVIEWS!!

Y'know, I do see the likeness...

Just like every week, I'm trying something new this week. Sure, the Review/Preview served a purpose, but, a brief acknowledgement aside, we're deep enough into the Major League Soccer (MLS) season to be past that. In other words, past the briefest look back at the Portland Timbers previous week's outing, I'll turn my attention to what counts: the team that's a-comin' to town (or, in other weeks, that the Timbers will visit) in the weekend ahead.

After that I'll pass on some quick (promise!) thoughts about the MLS games for upcoming weekend. This space is going full preview, basically. Well, after rounding up the past week's Portland Timbers talk.

It starts with some good-esque news (and old news by now): Diego Valeri is almost, sorta kinda in full training (savor that picture, people, and memories of better, simpler days). As for the rest, the tiny sampling of the Timbers community I visit turned in a muddled sample – which was, perhaps, a mechanism used to cope with the confusing sensation of a first win. One popular statistic pointed to the Timbers' superior capacity for bouncing back after a loss. What stuck out most for me, though, even if I didn't state it directly as I would have liked in the second draft, was how well Portland defended – and all over the field. Other people caught this too (see those links, plus parts of #2). Some players came in for some well-deserved praise, whether it's right back Jorge Villafana, or a much-improved outing for Timbers 'keeper, Adam Kwarasey; MotM fixture Darlington Nagbe picked up the usual praise, but it was nice to see a quiet, solid pro like Villafana get another nod in another space. (Personal Note: someone who joined me for last weekend's game kept referring to Villafana as "George." I liked that.)

The big, satisfying take-away from all that is that Portland will be hard to beat. Now, time to measure that against this weekend's opponent, Orlando City SC. I've seen them 1 1/2 times in 2015. And courtesy of MLSLive's ABSOLUTELY FUCKING WONDERFUL "CONDENSED GAME" FEATURE THAT I ONLY JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE, I was able to take 20+ minute look at Orlando in action. Here's what I saw in that 20+, plus a little of what I know.

Portland Timbers v. Los Angeles Galaxy: Building a Reputation, One Collapse at a Time

I see ya, Jorge! It's a-comin'!

Well, at least it’s familiar. Like that old shoe you keep wearing,. Then again, it's only because you can't afford new shoes. And yet the Portland Timbers spent money – designated player money, for one, and quite possibly a bump in salary (i.e. Nat Borchers probably makes more than Pa Modou Kah and/or Mamadou "Footy" Danso, right? wow...no.) – to fix the defense. And yet, there it was, that last-gasp dagger, the goal that slips between your ribs so often that the stupid wound just won't heal.

Each and every Timbers fan should fully it expect by now. I mean, would it be the Timbers without it?

OK, pushing past the daze to recap: the Timbers tied the Los Angeles Galaxy tonight 2-2, in Portland, and the game ended with two goals, one at the death (Portland's) and another after the death (LA's). All in all, it wasn't a bad game: the Timbers had the better of the first half – the first 20-25, especially – and they went into halftime with a justified lead; LA seemed content, in fact, to hit the lockers at halftime with an eye to re-grouping. When the second half came, either the Galaxy came out better, or the Timbers came out worse (I'm absolutely awful at telling the difference, frankly), but, regardless, LA looked sharper overall and clawed back a goal to get the teams level at 1-1. And it looked a whole lot like things would end there. Until Portland scored. Then it looked like Caleb Porter’s first career win in March. Until LA scored. Goddammit.

Anyway, tough outing, gut-wrenching ending. Here are the three things that stood out most for me...a theme unites the first two:

Toronto FC 2015 Season Preview: Send the Drunken Sailor to Toronto. With His Wallet

A rainy day at BMO.

What Happened Last Year
Toronto FC tried so friggin' hard to make the playoffs for the first time in 2014 that it's fair to wonder if the Major League Soccer (MLS) Competition Committee didn't spare them a pitying thought when it expanded the number of playoff spots going into 2015. TFC's 2014 saw the arrival of Michael Bradley, who embraced the club with both arms, and Jermaine Defoe, who...ah, moving on. Gilberto came, too, and he did...things. It's hard to remember now, but TFC started pretty brightly – even as an uncomfortable number of red "L's" trickled into the early returns. No, my chief memory of Toronto's 2014 was the faint, yet very real awareness that their playoff hopes were absolutely fucking dead by September (this headline is funny in that context). The players talked bravely in the media, but the funeral dirge played a little too loudly by the time the last games came around. This made for painful viewing, to be sure, even as the Reds dying corpse could still kick hard enough to, oh, end my Portland Timbers' playoff chances (touche, fuckers). Conventional wisdom held that too few capable planets revolved around TFC's stars. Eh, could be. It certainly didn't help that Stephen Caldwell had to raise pups like Nick Hagglund while trying to hold Toronto's defensive line. It also probably didn't help that Defoe missed too much of the season (and hated Toronto with all his heart) and that the World Cup kicked Bradley's ass twice over (that's once for wear and tear, and once more for confidence). Whatever happened, the whole project has to float near the top of MLS's all-time Expensive Flops list. Fer reals.
Final Stats: 11-15-8, 41 pts., 7th in the East; 44 gf, 54 ga

Portland Timbers 2015 Season Preview: Bringing Back (Most of) The Same Band

Oooh....damn girl, I know it!

What Happened Last Year
Agonizingly simple really: the Portland Timbers coughed up inopportune goals last year like the ladies who dish samples at Costco. Portland fed far too many teams free lunch this way. No game exemplified the failing like the 4-4 epic draw against the Seattle Sounders early in the season; up 4-2 early in the second half, the Timbers eventually fell apart under pressure from one of just two MLS clubs with better offensive numbers last season. The Timbers noted the problem and announced how seriously they took it by signing, Liam Ridgewell, a weird-for-MLS defensive designated player. Ridgewell came and the problems, well, they stayed. Portland's playoff dream all but ended when done in by another defensive collapse, e.g. the late-season 3-2 loss to Toronto FC, which, again, saw Portland throw away a two-goal lead. Oh, and midfielder and team captain, Will Johnson, suffered a broken leg at the start of that one. And Key Man, Diego Valeri, limped through the tail end of the season. Hope was high after 2013, that was the hell of it all.
Final Stats: 12-9-13, 49 points, 5th in the West; 61 gf, 52 ga