FC Cincinnati 2-4 Columbus Crew: Sizing Pat Noonan for a Hairshirt

Wait'll I get this off, you little shit...

After the Columbus Crew scored their fourth goal, the camera panned to a young woman in the stands who alternated between glaring at the field in disbelief and shooting “what the fuck just happened” glances toward her father. Cincinnati’s staff should have escorted that young woman into the locker room (after all the players were dressed and decent, of course) to have her level that same withering glare at every player who suited up for FC Cincinnati on Saturday. Or maybe send in a six-year-old boy still in tears from watching his idols lose. Time for the autopsy…

FC Cincinnati 2-4 Columbus Crew
About the Game
Before getting my hands into the viscera (don’t worry; I don’t do snuff images), I want to preface the general comments with one quick note: the highlights looked worse and more hopeless than the full 90. The final stats weren't so bad, and Columbus held a slim 3-2 lead from the 60th minute and into second half stoppage and Cincy got…kinda sorta back into it with two…vaguely promising stretches of play in the late 70s and the late 80s. It wouldn’t have erased the 60 lost minutes that saw FC Cincinnati’s original two-goal lead evaporate, but a face-saving draw would have been nice, or at least nicer…

As anyone who turned off the world and turned on this game knows, FC Cincy took a two-goal lead before the Columbus Crew got their pants on (Pavel Bucha's opener; Cincy's second fit better down below). Sadly, once they got them on (about 15 minutes in) they commenced to thrashing the home team with their belts. All without their pants falling down…

Mistakes by Cincy’s defense added the final bricks to Columbus’ comeback – first, the deflection off Tah Anunga’s arm (right?), then the own goal/general clustercuss set off by Miles Robinson’s late defensive lunge – but Columbus laid the foundation with two things: by blowing through Cincy’s midfield going forward and smothering Cincy's outlets/transition. This hardly accounts for everything that happened coming at and going out Cincy’s defensive third, but I spotted two things that details that accounted for some of it:

FC Cincinnati 1-2 DC United, Disappointment, Malaise and a Dash of FC Dallas

A guerrilla warfare situation.

After watching FC Cincinnati stall out to a 1-2 loss versus DC United – i.e., the team currently 12th in the East and who started yesterday with half as many points as Cincinnati – I looped back to their midweek 3-3 home draw versus FC Dallas – i.e., the team currently 11th in the West, who have as many points (18) as DC on the first day of June. That was last night.

Before sitting down to type this, I looped back to my notes on last weekend’s 2-4 loss at Atlanta United FC. At that time, that performance/result presented as a bad day at the office meets an ambush – think the foxhole scene in Red Dawn, the original, not the remake – because who thought an Atlanta team eight games into tripping over their own dicks, particularly on the attacking end, would run over a defense, 1) operating with all hands present, and 2) that had allowed (about) just one goal per game to that point in the season?

So…how many bad days at the office does it take to add up to a slump?

About the Game(s)
When Kevin Denkey crowned a full-field attacking move at the 15th minute that went down easy as an oyster, signs pointed to the machinery being back in place and turning smoothly. Sure, DC had already gone up a goal by then – see Gabriel Pirani’s finish at the second minute from the top of the 18 off a (too) simple set piece – and, after some light preventive bunkering, they returned to a press that forced Cincinnati to play through traffic all over the field. Still, Cincy had managed it well enough, up to and including getting close to goal with avenues and options. Denkey’s goal got the Bailey bopping and DC United didn’t have Christian Benteke to manage, so more of the same seemed possible, maybe even likely…

…and then Conner “Excuse Me, Who?” Antley popped up at the back post on a corner to head DC back into the lead. Two set pieces, two goals; you literally hate to see it.

DC United Scouting Report: This One's About Aspirations

Is the future so bright that I need shades?

What started as a mediocre season for DC United has spun out of control in recent weeks – to the tune of making them the worst defensive team in Major League Soccer. The question a gently-hobbled version of FC Cincinnati answers on Saturday is whether they run with the Club du Foot Montreals of the league, or with the Orlando City SCs, or the…jesus, San Jose Earthquakes. To start with the basics…

DC United
1-3-3, 6 pts., 9 gf, 17 ga (-8); home 1-1-2, away 0-2-1
Last 5 Results: DWDLL
Locale/Strength of Schedule
v SKC (2-1 W); v MTL (0-0 D); @ ORL (1-4 L); v CLB (1-2 L); @ SJ (1-6 L)

Notes from the Field
Because I didn’t think the debacle at San Jose would yield much useful data – just from the seven-plus minutes of the highlights, DC gifted San Jose the first two goals, got in one another’s way all over the field, and broke the basic rules of holding a good defensive line on goals four and five – I spent most of my time (about 45 minutes) watching their home loss to Columbus Crew SC. Based on that review, head coach Troy Lesesne still has DC defending high and playing to force turnovers all over the field (i.e., they hunt the ball), Christian Benteke remains their key player/salvation (he’s scored over half their goals so far), and, besides that, it’s mostly a lot of semi-headless running around. They kept the game versus Columbus tighter (bravo), but they still did plenty of getting in one another’s way and players that compel one to say, “look out for this guy,” of “one of the league’s best” are in short supply. Despite all of the above, DC posts respectable top-line numbers – e.g., they’ve reliably posted shots in the double digits and get around a half dozen on goal every game (the Columbus game was the exception) – and the defensive numbers rarely looked egregious…though the 4.0 goals allowed/game over the past three games would appear to suggest some issues…

Notes on Formation & Personnel
Despite the above, Lesesne has stuck with the same line up/personnel combo over the past four games, with only a couple adjustments barely worth noting (prime example, for reference). The back four in his inevitable 4-2-3-1 has included David Schnegg at left back, Lucas Bartlett and Kye Rowles for center backs and Aaron “I Hope He Likes Living in DC” Herrera as the preferred right back; a youngster named Derek Dodson has acted as understudy and started in the San Jose disaster. Matti Peltola has paired with Hosei Kijima at the two in every line up I reviewed, while the preferred three appears to be Joao Peglow (their assist leader, fwiw, at two), Gabriel Pirani, and the high-effort, ever-combative Jared Stroud (Dominique Badji, who is too old for this shit, started over him at San Jose). Benteke tops off the formation at the one, aka, the loneliest number (number). Again, Columbus played one step ahead of DC on both sides of the ball and, gods willing, Cincinnati will do the same, but both the game at Orlando and the game at San Jose present as implosions – i.e., decent performances utterly undone by repeated, catastrophic mistakes.

FC Cincinnati 1-0 New England Revolution: Notes on Transitory State

"Dude, my balls were swimming by the 10th."

Don’t expect any co-workers to excitedly ask whether you caught the big FC Cincinnati game yesterday, never mind brag about seeing live and in persona at the Big Tickle. None of that means the 1-0 win they picked up over the New England Revolution wasn’t a good thing, so much as questions about whether it means anything beyond three useful points.

About the Game
The two teams played a slippery bastard, what with the rain pouring from the skies, so you’d get slapstick like Carles Gil flopping to his ass midway through one of his defender-twisting turns. The same affliction plagued any dribbler – e.g., Luca Orellano – but the teams still managed to create a respectable haul of chances between them. Cincy had the better chances early – some of the best they’d get in the first half, in fact - but New England got a hold of the game, little by little. The loose theory/dream of midfield dominance from my Scouting Report didn’t hold up so good – the Revs’ Matt Polster probably had the best two-way game of any player, and my personal honorable mention goes to Cincy’s Tah Anunga – which saw Cincinnati’s shots come from further and further away until the halftime whistle. Peak anxiety for the hosts undoubtedly came in the stretch between a New England header off the post (didn’t see who tagged it (well), but leaning toward Mamadou Fofana?) and Ignatius Ganago’s deflected shot squicking between Roman Celentano’s fingers, but that covers the “what might have beens” more or less (Luca Langoni fired a couple from range, etc.). Cincinnati came out of the locker room with a little fire under them (angry Pat Noonan!) and they probably had their best 15 minutes of the day between the 45th and 60th minute and that best period had slipped halfway out the door when Cincy finally got the go-ahead. Shots to the back-post had been popular all day, and for both teams, but the Orange and Blue finally worked a ball into the 18 that had Kevin Denkey dancing in front of two defenders; his short outlet teed up Corey Baird, who forced a bobble out of (a solid) Aljaz Ivacic, who pushed the ball to Pavel Bucha, who squared it for Sergio Santos to tap home: it took a village, in other words, which isn’t so surprising given some absences. That left 25+ minutes of running around, plus a couple more shots – the last one noted came from a deflected shot around the 80th by Jackson Yueill – and Cincinnati came within an offside flag of marching in an insurance goal (most of these made the full highlights), but the process of putting the game to bed started with Santos’ goal.

Getting Reacquainted with FC Cincinnati, MLS's Maddest Makeover

Picture the "before" house on fire.

Thumbnail History
FC Cincinnati came into MLS like a paper-mache wrecking ball, starting with one of the worst roster builds in MLS history. They invested heavily in No. 8s for that inaugural 2019 roster - not a true No. 6 in sight, never mind a No. 10 - and rounded it out with a thin foundation of center backs, a couple attack-oriented fullbacks, plus a couple random wingers and two or three forwards with a history of needing service to be effective. The first of their three consecutive Wooden Spoons followed surely as night follows day. This year’s absolutely woeful San Jose Earthquakes team just unburdened them of the record for the most goals allowed in a single season, but Cincinnati may never let go of their claim to the all-time worst goal differential. They barely improved over the next two seasons (seriously, see the goals allowed by the 2021 team), and some of that surely followed from the wild game of musical chairs around the coaching seat - Alan Koch gave way to Yoann Damet, gave way to Ron Jans/some casual racism, then came Jaap Stam, there might have been another coach in there, who can say, really, then Yoann Damet again. Rebuilding from that first, fucking terrible roster was always going to take time, but doing it headless was madness. Small wonder the rehabilitation took a lot of time and, at last, some smart hiring. The Organization helped and hurt on the way to that – by throwing money at all the problems here, and (I think mostly one owner-dude) meddling on the wrong (i.e., soccer) side there – but the former translated as a willingness to burn money until the (many) problem(s) was(were) solved. The Organization kept faith through the failures – e.g., the Spoon-spank’d 2021 team had the still-capable Geoff Cameron and Haris Medunjanin, plus Luciano Acosta, Brandon Vazquez and Brenner, if in pre-threatening form – and, more crucially, seemed to genuinely learn from failure. The biggest shift came with two hirings: first, coaxing Chris Albright away from Philadelphia to act as general manager, then betting on Pat Noonan’s potential by anointing him head coach ahead of the 2022 season; second, they signed Nigerian midfielder, Obinna Nwobodo, at the beginning of the same year, a man who chews real estate and wins 75% of the battles he engages. Those two changes alone made some prior investments – e.g., Alvaro Barreal, Vazquez, and, even if it took a minute, Yuya Kubo – look a whole lot smarter. With all that in place, it took just a couple, if big, defensive signings (Matt Miazga and Yerson Mosquera) and the arrival of a budding goalkeeping star (Roman Celentano) to turn Cincinnati into a Supporters’ Shield-winning team by their 2023 season. Cincy made the semifinals of the MLS Cup playoffs that same season and might have gone farther had (Defender of the Year!) Matt Miazga not lost his whole goddamn mind at the end of a playoff win over the Red Bulls. At any rate, they lost some key players either before (Brenner, gone by April 2023) or during (Vazquez) the 2024 season, but Cincy has a remarkable talent for finding new players when they need them…it’s like they figured out how the rules work or something…

Total Joy Points: -1

FC Cincinnati 1-2 Red Bull New York: How Many Is Too Many?

Abomination.

Thanks to a 1-2 loss at home against Red Bull New York, FC Cincinnati killed the semi-pointless dream of claiming the single-season record for points in the MLS X.0 era. While I don’t like that anymore than you do, man, does it feel nice to have something to talk about besides, “yeah, still going really well.”

First things first, I wouldn’t freight this loss with a ton of meaning. Pat Noonan didn’t stir the starting XI, he shook it. I was about to digress to the culinary crime of a blended martini (hold on...has anyone...never mind), but he didn’t start any player that Cincinnati fans haven’t seen at some point in 2023. The issue – which assumes it was one – came with starting so many non-regulars. It fell well short of “who the fuck is that guy?” but, outside Matt Miazga and Obinna Nwobodo, only Nick Hagglund and Raymon Gaddis had played more than 1,000 minutes coming in. Most of the rest have logged real minutes – e.g., 998 for Yuya Kubo, 880 for Alvas Powell, 844 (shit, when?) for Dominique Badji – but, again, most of that time came with more regulars in the eleven.

That totally showed up on the field – Cincy played most of the game in the wide expanses between in-synch, which they were not, and out-of-synch – but that didn’t hurt them as much and as fatally as the 20 opening minutes. As the Red Bulls demonstrated tonight, a little energy can go a long way and a lot of energy goes even farther. To tie that together, sure, the turnover in the line-up didn’t help, but Cincy dug a two-goal hole by a simple failure to match the energy-drink energy.

If this game has a mystery, or any real source of concern, that’s it: how did FC Cincinnati come into a game that, let’s face it, they could absolutely lose against a team that literally brands itself on high energy with, well, so little energy?

Credit where it’s due, the Red Bulls got hold of the game early. Over those opening 20 minutes, they pressed high enough to alternately frustrate and stuff a Cincinnati team that grew more disoriented and cautious with each misplayed pass out of the back. The defensive shape eventually compacted to where the hosts left all kinds of space in and around the edges of Zone 14. That burned them early when that ever-receding line left original (and impressively respectful) draftee, Frank Amaya, wide-open about 20 yards from goal...and he made it look easy from there. The same thing happened less than 10 minutes later, even if the gap opened in a different space, when the statistically-marginal Elias Manoel finished a John Tolkin cut-back from a pasture around FC Cincy’s penalty spot; this time, the back three had dropped deep while Cincy’s midfield failed to track Manoel or drop deep enough to cover: so, no, things did not go well on the defensive side.

Columbus Crew SC 3-0 FC Cincinnati: The Thing Before the Thing You Worry About

Too much of this, honestly...

It wasn’t the result, or even the final score, so much as the manner of the defeat that made FC Cincinnati’s road to the end of the regular season looks a little longer yesterday...I mean, can we just call this thing, hand them the Supporters’ Shield and start the playoffs? (If not, why not?) Most signs pointed to a Columbus Crew SC win – i.e., they hosted, they're good at it/there, etc. Cincy’s more or less complete inability to affect the game? Hell, I don’t know. Maybe some guy at the back laid down $500 on Columbus’ 3-0 win, but I doubt that particular bet drew much action by the time the opening whistle blew.

Columbus opened the scoring early (15 minutes in) when all the work down the flanks paid off by prying open gaps in the middle. Credit to the Aidan Morris (who I will never underrate again) for the efficient, high-quality finish – seriously, think about how many times you’ve seen that same opening either blown or collapsed, or, more often, the ball sky over the bar – but more credit to the Crew collective for putting in the work that made that opening.

They took even less time to score the second – a (clean) penalty kick called for an Alvaro Barreal handball (justified, if harsh; not clear on how much he planned it and he didn’t gain much by it in any case; also, arrgggh, you'll have to consult the full highlights to see the fucking call) – but not much had changed between Columbus’ first goal and that 23rd minute moment. Columbus stuffed (at least) 75% of Cincinnati’s builds and Cincinnati stopped (approximately) none of Columbus’. The hosts played out of the back at will, not infrequently by having Steven Moreira just carry the ball out of the back and across one line after the other. They passed it out other times, mostly without bother, and that’s the first segue.

Cincinnati defended very, very passively...for most of the game, honestly, offering only a shaking fist’s worth of resistance to Columbus getting into their half. A counter-punching strategy isn’t a wild call against a team that likes to use the ball, but it does absolutely require, y’know, the counter-punch. Apart from a half-desperate foray in the fifth minute built between Luciano Acosta, Aaron Boupendza and Brandon Vazquez one strained individual effort at a time, Cincy struggled to land anything. They scratched out a couple more moments – Boupendza almost poked a wrong-footed shot (hold this thought!) past Columbus’ Patrick Schulte, but he didn’t put anything on it a stiff breeze couldn’t have and the Crew SC defense scrambled admirably, in waves even. Stats, like Shakira’s hips, don’t lie.

FC Cincinnati 1-1 Nashville SC (4-5, Shit!): Operation Fun-Suck

Acosta in green, all day yesterday.

I hopefully type “I’ll keep this short” to start these posts, but I think I’m going to pull it off this time...hey, nailed it....

FC Cincinnati tripped out of the inaugural edition of the Leagues Cup courtesy of a single missed penalty kick by Matt Miazga. If Nashville SC owed that thin crack of a margin to swapping in Elliott Panicco for Joe Willis immediately before the shoot-out, credit head coach Gary Smith for making a smart call. Because Nashville was perfect on their penalty kicks, Cincy only had to miss one. With that, a game that ended 1-1 regulation (still no home losses for Cincy, hyper-technically) tipped to Nashville 5-4 on PKs.

Nashville got one more thing perfect, or nearly so: smothering Luciano Acosta for over 3/4 of the game. While they didn’t man-mark him, Nashville reliably kept at least one player tight on Acosta – a defender when he pushed high, a midfielder when he dropped back – passing him off from one player(s) to the next, often by pointing at him like he never stopped farting throughout the game. That held up any time Acosta drifted into the middle of the field and only let up when the ball moved to the opposite side. Between that and Nashville compacting into a 5-3-2 tight enough to squeeze into their defensive third, Cincinnati struggled to do much of anything the entire game. I would say credit to Nashville if it didn’t make the game so goddamn unwatchable. A game killed, with malice (and great planning) aforethought...

More than anything else, this game provided a glimpse of the kind of soul-sucking bullshit riddles Cincy will need to solve if they want to lift MLS Cup. The odds that the first team or two they face in the MLS playoffs will take a similar approach to Nashville’s, if not bite it directly, are too low for the house to take them – i.e., this will happen. As such, the question for Pat Noonan et al becomes how to keep the attack lively when teams put a shadow or two on Acosta.

Cincinnati’s push for the equalizer suggested a couple approaches: playing with more urgency and begging more questions of the defense. This took the form of pushing more passes into Cincy players posted up against Nashville’s compact line(s), something they only started doing in earnest (by my count) after the 70th minute, with Obinna Nwobodo leading the way. Clearing Acosta out of that space helped, not least because the clutter didn’t accumulate when he wasn’t in the middle. Noonan loosened things up further when he replaced Alvas Powell with Bret Halsey, i.e., a player with at least some attacking upside. (And don’t dismiss Powell’s contribution entirely, because he showed his talent for open-field defending in a one-v-one against Hany Mukhtar.) Add a couple heads to the hydra, basically, or don't always demand the same one do all the biting.

Red Bull New York 1-2 FC Cincinnati: Can I Make This a Tale of Good Versus Evil? Yes, Yes, I Can

Earlier today, I saw a tweet celebrating the fact Red Bull New York crashed out of the playoffs. If I had to write a concurring opinion, I’d mourn how far they’ve fallen since the Thierry Henry/Tim Cahill/Sacha Kljestan/Dax McCarty days. Like watching 11 drunken men trying to climb a goddamn greased poll, I tell you.

I don’t have a headcount of how many neutral Major League Soccer fans wanted FC Cincinnati to come out of the...is it a play-in, or a conference quarterfinal (does it matter)? At any rate, on a day when Cincinnati managed the more controlled approaches to goal, while the Red Bulls flailed in some fortunate something from distance, Cincy left Red Bull Arena with the ticket to the next round of the 2022 MLS Playoffs. And there was much rejoicing (yaayyyyyy).

I haven’t written about FC Cincinnati since...shit, July, but I’ve dipped in here and there to stay current. Between the opposition and the plethora of draws they played in the second half of the season, I fully braced to see today’s game slump into penalties. Instead, and with the housekeeping crew at McMenamin’s Kalama Lodge impatiently tapping at the door, I had the good luck to see Brandon Vazquez’s game-winner and to miss the overstuffed stoppage time minutes tacked on to the end of the game. I doubt anyone quibbled with the final score (have I mentioned it was 2-1 to Cincy yet?), I only know I found it satisfying.

Because Pat Noonan has trotted out something like the same line-up for as far back as I’ve noticed, there’s not a lot to say about the roster beyond, I think he’s on to something. Not every part of the set-up clicked – e.g., the Red Bull Collective did a great job of keeping the ball away from Vazquez and Brenner for something like 86 minutes (Brenner’s point-blank header, saved by Carlos Coronel notwithstanding), but an in-form player needs only a chance and a (again) collective breakdown on Red Bull’s right side gave Vazquez the one clear look he needed.

New England Revolution 2-2 FC Cincinnati: Rhymin & Stealin

Remember when they used to smoke after sex in the movies?

And...yep, FC Cincinnati’s 2-2 draw at the New England Revolution lifted them to their personal best for points in a single Major League Soccer season. 25 > 24, people. And still so much time to play.

Before digging into it, I’d like to pause here to appreciate the weirdness of Cincy’s 2022 season.

When the season started, bringing Brenner off the bench, or just leaving him there, made perfect sense. And when he did come in, he just kind of wandered around, looking some pitiful combination of sad, confused and lost. From (weighty) sunk cost to a forward scoring goals worthy of his price tag in just a handful of games. Who saw that coming?

The conversation around Brandon Vazquez talked more about the ceiling hanging over all the good things he does rather than those good things as recently as the end of last season. Today, Vazquez is in the conversation for the U.S. Men’s National Team.

Nick Hagglund has been a regular starter for most of the season. And I don’t mind it one bit.

And, yesterday, Pat Noonan trotted out the kind of defensive midfield – Allan Cruz paired with Yuya Kubo – that had spelled spinning wheels in one direction and getting run over in the other.

I type this while craving, not so much the cigarette it sold, but the branding they used to sell it: you’ve come a long way, baby, aka, FC Cincinnati.

I started with the forest because I don’t have much to say about the trees except, they’re fine. I can’t think of one Cincy player I’d accuse of having a bad game yesterday, even as I imagine Geoff Cameron is still yelling self-affirmations into his bathroom mirror after giving up the second go-ahead goal to the theretofore silent Gustavo Bou’s near-post run. The team as a whole looked a little shaky for the 10+ minutes that followed, but they regained their footing and played their way back into the match.

Philadelphia Union 1-1 FC Cincinnati: What Does One Break Out Before the Bubbly?

Or am I getting carried away?

I can think of a dozen ways that FC Cincinnati’s 1-1 road draw at the Philadelphia Union would have left me feeling more relieved than happy - most of which involve Cincinnati scoring first and leaving their fans biting their nails bloody to the end.

The actual game reversed those scenarios, almost exactly. If either team made their fans sweat, it was Philly. And who saw that coming?

The draw boosted Cincy back over the playoff line - wherefore I know not why; what the weird hell is MLS using for tie-breakers this season? – but I got a bigger boost out of, 1) seeing them both manage a game that 90% of neutrals would call tricky-on-paper, and 2) doing it with a juggled line-up. Pat Noonan gave several regular starters – e.g., Luciano Acosta, Junior Moreno, Ian Murphy(?), and Dominique Badji(?) – the afternoon off for reasons I missed and that hardly matter now, but that lone detail raises possibilities and expectations at the same time. That’s so say, holy shit, does FC Cincinnati have actual depth?

Geoff Cameron plugged in for Murphy, Haris Medunjanin for Moreno, Alvaro Barreal for Acosta and Brenner for Badji and that make-shift line-up did more than hold up: it grew into the game. Cincinnati was the better team for fair chunks of it, as well as by most of the numbers, and they had the Union misfiring on passes and movement for 50+ of the game’s 90 minutes. The pessimist in me (trust me; that fucker talks loud) wants to temper my expectations with arguments like, “Pat Noonan knows Philly’s system like the back of his hand”; my wee cowering optimist mutters back, “true, but it’s up to the players to execute, and they did.”

In other words, for all the “there but for the grace of” – e.g., the Union’s fairly-hot Daniel Gazdag missing at least two looks he often sees into the goal or Nick Hagglund dodging a red card for his flying demolition of Kai Wagner’s right(?) leg – Cincinnati has good reason to feel like they could have won this game. For perspective, how many people think “that’s three points” right after hearing “Philadelphia on the road”?

FC Cincinnati Preview: Bring Your Running Shoes, the Good Ones

Lace 'em tight, stay frosty.

Club du Foot Montreal have a new crest (eh), and a solid run over the past 10 games, going 6-2-2 and against reasonably spry opposition. They lost a step on the back end of the 10, going 3-2-0; fwiw, they got home wins over Atlanta and Orlando, plus one on the road over Charlotte, but they lost away to Nashville…and then at home last weekend against Real Salt Lake. And one can make a reasonable argument that RSL outplayed them. So…what looms largest, a 6-2-2 recent record or the one oddball loss that goes against it?

I’ll start with this: Montreal doesn’t run the tightest ship at the back. They’ve allowed at least one goal in every game except that win over Charlotte. They’ve also scored above the league average (which I put at 17.5; Montreal has 24), which makes me think FC Cincinnati has another track meet on tap for this weekend. That’s not unusual for these Montreal v Cincy: they played to a 4-3 game with Cincinnati at home and on the losing end, which repeated another game in 2021, when they played the same venue (right?) with the Orange and Blue coming out at the wrong end of a 5-4 final score.

That’s the past, because a couple things have changed since even that last meeting – e.g., the arrival of Obinna Nwodobo and a fully-functioning midfield (with Junior Moreno). So, first question: can Cincinnati’s overall defensive shape/personnel keep Montreal to one or zero goals? I lean toward yes, but with some caveats and caution signs. Montreal has some sharp players working the width/channels – e.g., Djordje Mihailovic (assuming he’s not gone yet…The Mothership is behind on the availability info) and Lassi Lappalainen on their left and Alistair Johnston and Joaquin Torres on the right – and they spread the field nicely and play into the internal channels or to the far post according to the space they have. It’s a decent system, even if RSL bottled it up pretty nicely.

Against that methodology, the way Cincy plays its fullbacks – I assume Pat Noonan goes Alvas Powell and John Nelson again – looms larger than normal (also relevant: I think I say this every time). I hope they go a little conservative, at least on one side, and rely more on the fullbacks playing into Moreno and Nwobodo then out to Dominique Badji and (again, I assume) Alvaro Barreal, respectively, to work the ball up the field. I don’t mind either fullback taking chances once the ball is high, but hope they don’t hand Montreal any gifts, especially breaks behind the fullbacks inside Cincy's half. It’s not that Montreal can’t push up the gut, and Victor Wanyama does make his share of late runs to the top of the area, but he mostly seems to sit deep and coordinate, with the forward momentum happening on either side of him. That said, Montreal can change that up by calling in Kei Kamara, King of Journeymen, to act as a battering ram later in the game; that’s against Romell Quioto, who strikes me as just another guy they play into space.

FC Cincinnnati Preview: Eyeing a Counter-Revolution

Just get in the way of it often enough.

It’s no secret that the New England Revolution dropped the Supporters’ Shield in 2022 (yeah, yeah, it's early; just roll with it). They’ve been a combination of inconsistent and fragile since First Kick, with only three wins in eleven games this season and none coming on the road. As such, FC Cincinnati isn’t facing 2021 New England tomorrow afternoon.

Because I’m between concepts on this site, I didn’t sit down to watch the Revs’ draw at Atlanta last weekend and yet another goddamn national broadcast blackout means I can't do a make-up [Ed. - Honestly, ESPN+ has a knack for blacking out games involving Cincy’s next opponents.] That said, I don’t think the book on New England has changed much since their record-setting 2021 season: they score goals with confidence and hand them out with the opposite. To finish the thought on the Revs defense, the narrative goes something like this: they give up a lot of chances and rely on Matt Turner to stop them. (And he does.)

FC Cincinnati should get chances, basically, and they look like a good bet to finish them off. They’ve got an elite chance-creator/finder in Luciano Acosta dishing key passes (if with surprisingly few primary assists; just three), plus a confident striker in Brandon Vazquez. Related, I just bumbled into something fun: Cincy is downright communitarian when it comes to assists - eight players have supplied one, three players two, then there’s Acosta’s three - and that’s a good thing; it’s harder to shut off the supply when it comes from all over.

To flip the point of view, the Revs have scored two goals in their last six games and have only been kept off the board once all season. They haven’t exactly played the cream of the league lately, thought they did get a pair of goals past a better-than-average Columbus Crew SC defense, and on the road, So, odds are they’ll score a goal or two against Cincy. That’s despite a late improvement from them - though, again, mind the opposition, e.g., Chicago, Minnesota and Toronto X 2) - but, taking in what we have so far, all signs point to keeping up with the Revs' offense as Cincinnati's prime directive for Saturday.

FC Cincinnati 1-2 Los Angeles FC: Trying on Rose-Colored Glasses

FC Cincinnati at home, artist's rendering.

FC Cincy Preview: at Atlanta United FC, Unlikely Does Not = Impossible

But, if Atlanta keeps handing out giant checks...

It pains me to lead with this, but I don’t think I’ve spent a full, uninterrupted 90 minutes looking at Atlanta United FC this season. I have, however, kept an eye on their doings, heard some stuff about Josef Martinez not looking like himself before he checked out for six weeks to get some free-floating bone out of his body and recovery from the surgery. I’ve floated the idea that they got “their mojo” back in a Week 3 recap I regret and/or still think I’m paying for in lost interest and, despite arguing they mostly survived their home draw to Club du Foot Montreal in my Week 4 recap, and, against the general tenor of what little commentary I read, I still suspect that Atlanta will be playoff competitive in 2022…

…yes, even after losing to Charlotte just last week. And yet I still end at the same thought: if Atlanta isn’t the most inscrutable team in MLS’s young 2022 season, they aren’t far off. Games that look like accomplishments - e.g., their confident win over Sporting Kansas City in Week 1, or even Week 5’s road win at DC United - look different in context (e.g., SKC’s slow start and just…DC in 2022). They’re better at home - seven points from nine on offer - but they still don’t present as a GOOD team, not according to their early record. Had they won at Charlotte - and, yeah, losing on an olimpico is the soccer equivalent of getting real money off a scratch-it, but they also failed to score themselves - sticking with the whole “mojo” theory wouldn’t feel like such a stretch. But they did lose…

As such, FC Cincinnati will walk into a minor mystery Saturday afternoon (evening, Eastern Standard, right around dinner time). By one of the broadest measures available - goals scored and allowed - Atlanta comes in on the right side of middling in the attack (nine goals scored) and the wrong side of the same in defense (again, nine goals), but the word “middling” does the most work in that thought. Moreover, and as much as the condensed game of the Montreal game made me question the defense, that’s a respectable home record. More to the point, I wouldn’t expect any neutral observer to look to FC Cincy to put a dent in that adjective…

…but it wouldn’t surprise me to see them steal this one. And let me make one thing perfectly clear before continuing: I’ll feel all right about anything better than Cincy losing in a blow-out, aka, the psychological benefits of playing as the underdog. Every win is a tablespoon of gravy, in my mind, and a road draw isn’t much different - especially when punching up nails a (for now) proximate rival.

FC Cincinnati 3-4 Club du Foot Montreal: Look, Maybe Take a Week Off and Come Back After...

I couldn’t put FC Cincinnati’s 4-3 loss to Club du Foot Montreal at the Big Tickle to into words, but I think the image gets to the self-defeating spirit of what some of you poor bastards paid to see live.

Looking at the numbers seems like a waste of time, even though I know I’m gonna do it - also, don’t do it, it just makes it worse - but I think the better exercise comes with marching through the parade of “what the fuck” the led to each of Montreal’s goals.

Goale the Firste: With Luciano Acosta facing upfield, Yuya Kubo peels off Djordje Mihailovic to double-team(?) Kamal Miller on (Cincy’s right touch-line), which leaves Mihailovic isolated against Nick Hagglund, never the best idea. Geoff Cameron then peels off to defend…with Tyler Blackett picking up Kei Kamara, though there are two more Montreal defenders lurking in the area. Mihailovic cuts inside Hagglund and loops the ball around Cameron, who steps forward and opens up Alec Kann’s back-post. Bad.

Goale the Seconde: Acosta drops the ball to Kubo, who has (about) 10 feet of space all around him, and Kubo chooses to dribble forward (instead of, y’know, passing the ball; related, I have a still of Alvas Powell tossing up his hands in frustration right as the turnover happens (about 0:05 in on the clip). He’s gotten away with that all season, but this time his touch carries too close to Montreal’s Victor Wanyama, who steps past Cameron’s challenge and finds Kei Kamara to his left. At this point, at least four Cincy defenders collapse toward Kamara and Wanyama on the (/Cincy’s) right, including Kubo, who was aware of Mihailovic, but lost him in that moment, and Mihailovic passes home from about 13-14 yards out. Bad, but also the beginning of a theme.

Goale the Thirde: Montreal breaks Cincy’s press by spreading the field and, after the home team thwarts Montreal right back, Alistair Johnson’s run, the ball bounces back to Wanyama who has all the freedom in the world to dream of possibilities. He lofts a ball between Blackett and Cameron, both of whom have lost track of Kamara, which sends the grey eminence of Montreal alone on goal with all three center backs chasing. They do not win. Kamara slots in Montreal’s third to Kann’s right/the far post.

A Premature 2022 FC Cincinnati Preview: Because I Can't Watch the Preseason Games

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the choice was about kids?

FC Cincinnati have hired and fired three coaches in as many seasons, not counting the two interim coaches - Yoann Damet and, just last season, Tyrone Marshall - they sacrificed to appease the Soccer Gods who had clearly cursed them. Ron Jans struck me as the most competent, but he turned out to have the social skills of a man born 50 years earlier, and not one of the bright ones, and that became his legacy. With the others, I'd like to entertain the reverse of a thought experiment: I wonder what either Alan Koch or Jaap Stam could do with a better roster - i.e., one not built on a philosophy that parallels a Supermarket Sweep shopping spree of just grabbing shit in a half-conscious panic.

FC Cincy have also tried swinging big on designated players (DP), and at a clip of about two per season during their time in Major League Soccer. The 2020 crop - Jurgen Locadia and Yuya Kubo - was particularly disastrous, even if that only applies to the latter based on what he was hired to do (i.e., generate offense). Luciano Acosta and Brenner Souza da Silva made up Cincinnati’s latest DP class and, even if didn’t mean much to the team’s fortunes writ large, both Acosta and Brenner will almost certainly unseat the current all-time leading scorer, and 2019 DP, Allan Cruz, a couple weeks into 2022. That record, by the way? Nine goals. Nine. Still, trending up every so slightly beats flatlining.

Flatlining describes FC Cincinnati’s history in MLS as well as any word. The phrase “wooden spoon” got thrown at them at the end of every season they’ve spent in the top flight, but it takes surfacing some blunt numbers gets at how hard. Cincinnati has won just...14 games over 2 2/3 season (the 2/3 comes from 2020, when they played just 23 games). That's just north of 15% of the time...ouch, and that earned them a total of 60 points. For perspective, three teams either tied or topped that “haul” in 2021 alone (the Colorado Rapids, the Seattle Sounders and, of course, the record-setting New England Revolution). I’ve obsessed/marveled over their repeated runs at all the wrong single-season records enough that I won't do it again here, but the cold, hard reality is that you can’t dig into Cincinnati’s numbers without hitting a sewer line. While you're down there, here's another one: would you believe Cincinnati produced its worst points per game total (0.59, people) just last season? Hence the point about Brenner, Acosta and fortunes writ large.

MLS Weakly, January 8, 2022: Coaches v Rosters, Spittin' from High Altitude

On playing the hand one is dealt.

If you’re like me, you checked out from most things Major League Soccer after MLS Cup 2021 wrapped up and, let’s be honest, disappointed fiercely (if only locally). And, if you’re like me, you’ve started the cat-herding labor of catching up on what you’ve missed going into the 2022 season. And away we go.

The thrust of this first MLS Weakly of 2022 will view developments around MLS from a vantage both high and narrow - i.e., it will be neither encompassing nor granular, except in re the doings around the two teams this space follows, the Portland Timbers and FC Cincinnati. I tucked those notes at the bottom and will start instead with the most general of generalities: picking through points of interest in the first quarter of the 2022 domestic/domestic-international calendar. Just to note it, the article linked to just now covers all of 2022, so go as deep as the spirit moves you. A quick run-down:

MLS Preseason starts between January 10-16 - depending on the team - which I’ll care about to the extent I can actually see the games…and without straining; the MLS SuperDraft is on January 11, but the past decade or so has trained me to give zero shits about it; the penultimate CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying (“WCQ”) falls between January 24th and February 2nd…interest pending*; the FIFA World Club Cup plays between February 3rd and 12th, and, based on the teams involved, NEXT; that brings us to the first (personal) hot ticket of the year, the CONCACAF Champions’ League, which starts on February 15th-17th, and I love that perennial heartbreak like a teenage child who has grown to hate me, even if neither of my teams participates (the MLS participants, for the record: Colorado Rapids, Club du Foot Montreal, New England Revolution, New York City FC, and Seattle Sounders), which is to say, take me, I'm yours.

The MLS regular season starts earlier than it ever has, of course, on February 26, so that’s an early Christmas for us all and I’m looking forward to some snow games. That’s also when I plan on regular service resuming in this space. [Related: As an alternative to shutting down this site for the third time(/perhaps a psychological need for attention), I’ve committed to checking out to some extent at the middle of the season - i.e., around the time I feel like narratives have solidified and/or I feel like I’m repeating myself - but I’ll re-engage about 10-12 games before the stretch run.]